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Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 02:51
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Mafia XVI - Ya' lookin' at me? Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Prologue : Introducing The Yorkie Boys

Look here kid. I'm not saying the Yorkie Boys were bad or anything, and I'm not saying they were evil, 'cos I ain't in a hurry to end up paying a visit to DrSpike. They say if you're sick, and you're a friend of the Boys, then pay him a trip, otherwise you're better off going to any other quack in Apolytropis.

And I'm not saying everyone's on the take in this town either, cos I don't want detective Ljcvetko sending his muscle boy Constable MattH round to "ask me a few questions", not today, my friend, but what I am saying, and I'm saying it real quietlike, is that if you go into Skanky's and ask for Don Yorkie, you'd better have picked up one of Theben's "Saturday night specials" first, or you may just end up leaving that bar in a box. You understand me?

They "say" that part of town is riddled through and through with the Yorkie Boys. Every man you meet is running a job for the Don, Guynemer runs a suit shop where the Don has a hand in the till, and the fish in ADG's shop is just to cover the corpses under the ice. But I didn't tell you that, ok bub?

But the government will sort them out, if the police do nothin'?

Not bloody likely. Just last week I saw Senator Spiffor being driven around by Kassiopeia, the Don's personal driver. Don't tell me they don't have a deal going, just like with Father FlameFlash's little church, and GJRamsey's betting shop. Its all just another way of cleaning the mob's dirty money. Ya make a bet, you lose on purpose, or ya drop a grand on the collection plate, then the church suddenly needs to hire Big Jonny as a bouncer... catch my drift?

What's that? The dirty money? Heh, its whores, just ask Joncha to see one of his girls, but he don't breathe unless "Old Ferret" Rah, the local brothel owner says "Breathe in, breathe out...! Of course, don't let on to Rah that old Jamski here called his fine drinking establishment a cathouse, will ya? Good lad.

And if it ain't dames, then its drink. Hercules at the docks is the foreman of the loading crew, and Tuberski has rigged their union just right. The Yorkie Boys can bring anything accross the lake they can dream of, and sell it for any price you can imagine.

So, you ask me, where do they get their little helpers from? That's where miss HongHu comes in. She's a teacher at the local school, and she's the genius of the whole delivery operation. The kids carry the booze home to their parents, the parents send the money back with the kids, everyone's happy, and the police take 5% and say they didn't see nothing. Call the whole thing "school fees". Of course, when the kids are older they want a shot themselves, so they got Proffessor Jon Miller up at the university selling direct to the students.

And when people don't pay up fast, that's when Spaced Cowboy pays them a visit, and shows them one bullet with thier name engraved on it. They always pay soon, except the real tough guys. They get a visit from Vlad, the Don's enforcer. He makes sure everyone does what the Don says, by simply breaking a few legs.

But if it ain't true, I only heard that from "Uncle" Alva a polite old soldier, and the public face of the Yorkie Boys. He tells some stories in the street and in the bars, and people listen to him, they respect him, and he tells them about the Yorkie Boys done this, and they done that, and then people really respect the Boys.

Hey, I gotta run. Keep safe kid. Apolytropolis is a bad place to be after dark.

code:
mafia
Name Job Status
1. Skanky Burns Barkeeper
2. Rah Brothel Owner
3. Spiffor Senator
4. Kassiopeia Limo Driver
5. joncha Pimp
6. Jon Miller Proffessor
7. Theben Gunsmith
8. Comrade Tassadar Bible Salesman
9. ljcvetko Corrupt Detective
10. alva Retired Soldier
11. duke o' york Don
12. Hercules Docks Foreman
13. Guynemer Shopkeeper (suits)
14. Vlad Antlerkov Enforcer
15. Zopperoni Bodyguard
16. Jonny Heavy
17. ADG Shopkeeper (fish)
18. gjramsey Bookkeeper
19. HongHu Teacher
20. Spaced Cowboy Debt Collector
21. Spikie Doctor
22. Tuberski Union Leader
23. MattH Police Constable
24. FlameFlash Priest



-Jam

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:01
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#2 Report this post to a moderator
Got spare money?

The mafia (you're ALL mafia, I suppose, so I mean the killers) have been selected completely at random using my d24, and have been informed. First kill will come soon, but I won't post it as soon as I get it - no timezone clues for you horrible lot.

-Jam

Comrade Tassadar is offline Comrade Tassadar
Settler

Aug 2005
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:09 Visit Comrade Tassadar's homepage!
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quote:
Comrade
Tassadar

Bible Salesman


DrSpike is offline DrSpike
Deity
Enthusiastic member of Apolyton
Sep 2001
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:15
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Enter the AD-FREE zone

Attachment: midi.zip
This has been downloaded 9 time(s).

Comrade Tassadar is offline Comrade Tassadar
Settler

Aug 2005
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:17 Visit Comrade Tassadar's homepage!
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Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:20
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Your stinkin' midi clip, it no play, dago!

-Jam

alva is offline alva
Emperor
Republic of Flanders
Sep 2001
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:38
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Received a mail..thought, YES, I'm gonna be the mafia for once.

Nope, came from someone else....

Ah well..

Vlad Antlerkov is offline Vlad Antlerkov
King
Do you have Matt Stairs in your house?
Mar 1999
time: 23:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:44 Visit Vlad Antlerkov's homepage!
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Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Enforcer?

This isn't punishment for quietly slinking away after getting killed in the second round in the last game, is it?

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:54
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Tired of ads?

Its a good role. You're played by Vinnie Jones

-Jam

Ljube is offline Ljube
Emperor
Belgrade
May 2003
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:55
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quote:
Originally posted by alva
Received a mail..thought, YES, I'm gonna be the mafia for once.

Nope, came from someone else....

Ah well..


Hmmmm very suspicious

General Ludd is offline General Ludd
Emperor
Minion of the Dominion
Aug 2001
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:56
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quote:
Originally posted by DrSpike


Do you know the name of that piece, by any chance?

Ljube is offline Ljube
Emperor
Belgrade
May 2003
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 03:57
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I'm gonna have to consider my percentage.

5 is not enough.

I gotta ask the Don for some more.

But don't you worry Yorkie boys, I'm not greedy.

DrSpike is offline DrSpike
Deity
Enthusiastic member of Apolyton
Sep 2001
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:01
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quote:
Originally posted by General Ludd


Do you know the name of that piece, by any chance?


IIRC it's just called the Godfather theme. Other tracks from the movie have names, but I don't recall a name for that one.

alva is offline alva
Emperor
Republic of Flanders
Sep 2001
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:03
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quote:
Originally posted by ljcvetko


Hmmmm very suspicious


No it isn't. You really think I would even try to side-track people this way.

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:05
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code:
mafia
Name Job Status Played By
1. Skanky Burns Barkeeper alive Paul Hogan
2. Rah Brothel owner alive Rowan Atkinson
3. Spiffor Senator alive Jean Reno
4. Kassiopeia Limo Driver alive Bjork in a mask
5. joncha Pimp alive Samuel Jackson
6. Jon Miller Proffessor alive Harrison Ford
7. Theben Gunsmith alive Jonny Depp
8. Comrade Tassadar Bible Salesman alive John Brigham
9. ljcvetko Corrupt Detective alive Peter Sellars
10. alva Retired Soldier alive Gene Hackman
11. duke o' york Don alive Orson Welles
12. Hercules Docks Foreman alive Brad Pitt
13. Guynemer Shopkeeper (suits) alive Charlie Sheen
14. Vlad Antlerkov Enforcer alive Vinnie Jones
15. Zopperoni Bodyguard alive Pierlugi Collina
16. Jonny Heavy alive Vin Diesel
17. ADG Shopkeeper (fish) alive Pete Postlethwaite
18. gjramsey Bookkeeper alive Sean Penn
19. HongHu Teacher alive Lucy Liu
20. Spaced Cowboy Debt Collector alive Kevin Costner
21. Spikie Doctor alive Tom Baker
22. Tuberski Union Leader alive Dan Akroyd
23. MattH Police Constable alive Ewan McGregor
24. FlameFlash Priest alive Al Pacino



Not subject to change even if you pay me real cash I am of course played by Bobby DeNiro, and I am the director as well

-Jam

Ljube is offline Ljube
Emperor
Belgrade
May 2003
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:12
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Thanks for Peter Sellers Jam. One of my favourite actors.

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:13
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It seemed... somehow... umm... appropriate...

-Jam

Kassiopeia is offline Kassiopeia
Emperor
Jyväskylä, Finland
Jul 2001
time: 07:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:16 Visit Kassiopeia's homepage!
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The weirdest thing is that the past few weeks I've started to listen to Björk's music, out of the blue.

quote:
Pete Postlethwaite


Kobayashi

quote:
Zopperoni - Pierluigi Collina


Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:20
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#19 Report this post to a moderator
Suffering from ads?

I know he's a ref, but imagine him as a bodyguard... I mean Vinne Jones made the transition from centrehalf to actor, so why not from referee...

Ok, he would look COOL in shades and a dark suit, with a small machinegun

-Jam

Theben is offline Theben
Emperor
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Jan 1970
time: 00:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:21
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Instead of "You understand me?", try "Ya unnerstand?" or "Ya know what I'm sayin'?" or just "Capisce?"

Also, for an authentic Chicagoan mob flava:

beef= A complaint or problem
goo-goo= A do-gooder, honest person
make the drop= solicit a bribe
vised= fired or arrested
Chinaman= Sponsor, helper (usually with some clout)
clout= Power or influence of an illegal nature
squared= Made OK

MattH is offline MattH
King
Go sneer at that cow creamer!
Jul 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:33
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I dunno what we's gonna do wit' dis mob crowd. I mean really, a guy like me doesn't live long in a town like this. Sooner or later, Ljcvetko is gonna vise some real players, and then we're all in the doghouse.

Guynemer is offline Guynemer
King

Donate to the Red Cross
Gotta have more cowbell!
Mar 1999
time: 00:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:35
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Charlie Sheen?

Charlie EFFIN' Sheen?!

I say we execute Jamski first.

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:41
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Part 1

Don Yorkie takes the phone Zopperoni is holding out to him and answers.
"Yeah?... You talking to me?... Uh-huh... Ok, yadda, yadda, yadda... so where is the money?... Uh-Huh..."
The Don throws the phone violently away.
"Ya'll never guess who that was, Zoppi," he says.
Zopperoni says nothing.
"Don't talk a lot do ya?"

* * * * *

Zopperoni walks into Skanky's and pushs a red piece of paper and a bill over the bartop to Skanky. He glances at the red paper, pocketes the banknote and slides a decent glass of whisky back over the counter to Zopperoni
"He's in the back room" Skanky indictates by pointing over his shoulder.
Zopperoni grunts and strolls over to the back door, whistling a little Italian aria.

* * * * *

GJRamsey sits opposite Alva and Vlad. The coins are mostly on his side of the table. Avla is dealing when Zopperoni comes in, whistling though his teeth. Vlad fumbles in his pocket, then relaxes.

Zopperoni drops a yellow folder on the card table in front of Vlad.

* * * * *

Close up on the yellow folder. A large hand opens it. It contains a large black and white photgraph of Jonny, dead with what appears to be a hole in the back of his head.

* * * * *

Vlad shrugs.
"Not my line of work, bub" he states, flatly.

GJRamsey opens his wallet and takes out all the notes and counts them. Zoppi raises an eyebrow. GJ scrapes all the coins off the table into a bag and offers that to Zoppi as well.

"Looks like I needed to get lucky today, boys" says GJ, and leaves the card game. The others just look at each other.

* * * * *

HongHu is teaching class when the door knocks. There's a phone call for her. Jonny's son, little Jonny, just lost his dad last night, she should go easy on him. She nods.

* * * * *

The doorbell rings at Yorkie Towers. Kassiopeia opens it. A man enters.
"Would you like to buy a bible?" he asks.

* * * * *

Tassadar is working hard cutting holes in the pages of bibles the size of whisky bottles, while Herc and Tuberski load the bibles with bottles and pack them into crates.

* * * * *

Everyone gathers in Rah's basement. It is very quiet.
"I wanna know who killed Jonny" says the Don, "Now either you own up, or we do this the other way"
No one says a word.

* * * * *

It is time to vote!

-Jam

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:45
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#24 Report this post to a moderator
Suffering from ads?

No big clues yet, but with increasing obviousness as the game progresses.

Theben, thanks, look out for the NEXT Episode for better dialogue.

And Charlie Sheen is cool

-Jam

Zopperoni is offline Zopperoni
Emperor

Dec 2000
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:46
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Bodyguard? Does that mean that if Don Yorkie's the target, I'll be the one getting shot?

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:50
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No, but if the other killer wants to get you next then I'll write it that you stop a bullet for Yorkie, ok?

And if they kill you next, I'll give a big clue for their identity too

If I feel like it

-Jam

Ljube is offline Ljube
Emperor
Belgrade
May 2003
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 04:53
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#27 Report this post to a moderator
Got spare money?

Damn it Jamski, post some clues

You think the clues in the last game were too obvious?

Well, they weren't.

Jamski is offline Jamski
Deity
lol ED&D is officially full PvP LOL
May 2002
time: 05:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 05:01
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-tko, I could TELL you who the mafia is, and you'd still get the wrong person.

Every game, someone has analysed the clues, come to the right conculsion, and then been completely ignored by the others.

THAT'S not my fault.

-Jam

Zopperoni is offline Zopperoni
Emperor

Dec 2000
time: 06:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 05:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Jamski
No, but if the other killer wants to get you next then I'll write it that you stop a bullet for Yorkie, ok?

Cool

Collina is standing by!

Theben is offline Theben
Emperor
Dance Dance for the Revolution!
Jan 1970
time: 00:35
  Old Post 17-04-2004 05:45
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Pierluigi's head looks a little small, though.

 
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