01-07-2004 07:48									#1
	My brother's birthday is coming up. What's a terrible movie that I can give him? Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Previous gifts I've given my brother (for such things as his college graduation, various birthdays and christmasses, and his wedding) include the DVD's of Jack Frost, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman, Basket Case, and Pumpkinhead 2 (the original Pumpkinhead movie is much too respectable for me to give it to him as a present). However, this year I'd like to try to get him a terrible non-horror film if at all possible, but I can't think of any non-horror films that are suitably terrible. Anybody got any ideas?

	01-07-2004 07:51									#2
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starship troopers 2. It was horrible. I cried and couldn't watch it no more than 15 minutes and I'm not even kidding.

	01-07-2004 07:51									#3
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Gigli
Mafia
Dude Where's My Car
Battlefield Earth

	01-07-2004 07:52									#4
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Hellraiser 2
Battlefield Earth

	01-07-2004 07:53									#5
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Didn't Madonna just make some fantasticly awful flick?

	01-07-2004 07:54									#6
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Battlefield Earth

	01-07-2004 07:56									#7
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Starship Troopers 2 is an excellent suggestion (he absolutely loved the book, so he almost cried at the first movie -- I can only imagine his horror upon seeing the second movie), but unfortunately, I don't think it's going to be released on DVD in time. (His birthday is on August 10th, and while historically we haven't really worried about getting presents to each other on time, we still try to get them to each other at most a couple of weeks late.)

I'll have to seriously consider Battlefield Earth. I'm worried, though, because my brother slogged through the first four books of that terrible Hubbard decology, so Battlefield Earth may not fill him with the desired level of revulsion.

	01-07-2004 07:56									#8
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No, that wasn't it.

	01-07-2004 07:57									#9
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The Care Bears movie!

	01-07-2004 07:57									#10
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I thought Starship Troopers 2 was direct-to-DVD? You should be able to find it immediately.

	01-07-2004 07:58									#11
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT The Care Bears movie!

Hey, we loved the care bears movie when we saw it in the theaters twenty years ago!

	01-07-2004 07:59									#12
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quote: Originally posted by Guynemer I thought Starship Troopers 2 was direct-to-DVD? You should be able to find it immediately.

Glory be, you're right! I just wasn't looking hard enough.

Starship Troopers 2!!!

	01-07-2004 07:59									#13
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Care Bears is good. I'm half watching a flick on scifi called 'Wishmaster'. I would heartly not recommend it.

	01-07-2004 07:59									#14
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Case closed!

	01-07-2004 08:03									#15
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Last Seduction 2.

No Linda Fiorentino, first big mistake.

Finishing the film, second big mistake.

Hellraiser III- even worse than II, but they're filming a VI, I think, so that might be even worse.

Have you tried early seventies sci-fi, like 'Zero Population Growth' ? - Oliver Reed and bad special effects.

Or drive in movies like 2000 Maniacs?

In fact, a lot of Herschell Gordon Lewis's ah, 'oeuvre' is very cheesetastic.

"
2000 Maniacs

Dir: H.G.Lewis

Starring: Thomas Allen, Connie Mason, Jeffrey Allen, Ben Moore

Following the massive success of Blood Feast, Lewis and producer David Friedman were quick to cash in. With three times the budget, the help of the town of St. Cloud in Florida (now buried beneath Disneyworld!), and some inspiration from Brigadoon, they made probably Lewis's best film. A century after a Civil War massacre, the residents of Pleasant Valley divert six Yankees for a little fun, involving dismemberment, spiked barrels, barbecues and so on.

Although the effects now look amateur, it's a good storyline, efficiently told, and the torment before the actual violence still has surprising impact. One victim is tied beneath a teetering boulder, while locals casually hurl softballs to knock it down, and this remains grimly hypnotic. The music also anticipates O Brother, Where Art Thou?, and I remembered far too many lyrics to the catchy theme, despite it likely being a decade since last hearing it. Apart from Thomas Allen, the acting is "broad" (and that's being kind) but somehow fits the OTT carnage and fun-house attitude - if all the town's inhabitants wore evil clown make-up, it wouldn't seem out of place. "

http://www.trashcity.org/BLITZ/BLIT0001.HTM

Then there's Chesty Morgan's homage to Fellini 'Double Agent 73' or her Sergio Leone homage, 'Deadly Weapons'.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/Dou...515/preview.php


Good luck.

	01-07-2004 08:10									#16
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MB you are just too cruel. Loinburger loves his brother and wants to give him a joke gift, not something that will make him rip his eyes out and give up, weeping, for all of humanity's sins.

	01-07-2004 08:10									#17
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Mine trumps all.

Made completely in Houston, Texas. Reminiscent of a reallllly bad Robocop. I give you:

R.O.T.O.R.

Complete with dubbed in voice overs and a weird bull **** that shows up near the end.

	01-07-2004 08:17									#18
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT Loinburger loves his brother and wants to give him a joke gift, not something that will make him rip his eyes out and give up, weeping, for all of humanity's sins.

Yeah, the time I got him Videodrome was pushing the boundaries just a bit too much. That's why I've pretty much avoided sci-fi since then and stuck to horror instead.

quote: Originally posted by Harry Tuttle Mine trumps all.

Now that one shows promise. This is going to be a tougher decision than I'd thought...

	01-07-2004 08:17									#19
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quote: Originally posted by molly bloom No Linda Fiorentino, first big mistake.

OWNZ

	01-07-2004 08:18									#20
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT MB you are just too cruel. Loinburger loves his brother and wants to give him a joke gift, not something that will make him rip his eyes out and give up, weeping, for all of humanity's sins.

I was getting around to recommending the 'Passions' boxed set.

http://www.soapoperafan.com/passions/misc/whose.html

	01-07-2004 08:19									#21
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If you go with ST 2, I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for and I don't know what kind of films your brother likes, but no one can ever like that. It's like low budget version too, made for tv. It's horrible I mean the second it started you can see it's cheap and horrible and you're just waiting like it's someones dream and they wake up and the real movie can start. I mean it, I couldn't watch it till the end it was that bad.

And the only movie I have ever EVER stopped watching and never saw the actual end was the movie Pamela Anderson was in.. barbwired or something. But even that was cool compared to this one.

	01-07-2004 08:21									#22
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Shaq made some bad movies too


Ohhhhh I know a good one

It was the one starring Cindy Crawford and one of the Baldwin brothers. Can't remember the name!

	01-07-2004 08:22									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Pekka I don't know what kind of films your brother likes

That is irrelevant.

quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Shaq made some bad movies too

I was thinking of getting him that Sinbad movie where he's a genie or something, but that strikes me as a better present for Christmas than for his birthday.

	01-07-2004 08:22									#24
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It's called "Fair Game"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113010/

	01-07-2004 08:32									#25
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You should consider Crossroads. I mean, there's a reason that Britney Spears is only in one movie. To my great dismay, i found myself watching the trailer, and it had to be one of the more excrutiating 1.5 minutes of my life.

	01-07-2004 08:33									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Shaq made some bad movies too Ohhhhh I know a good one It was the one starring Cindy Crawford and one of the Baldwin brothers. Can't remember the name!

Fair Game.

It wasn't, they cheated.


Barb Wire- bad.

Tank Girl- dreck.

There was a truly awful z grade superhero film: ' The Justice League'- so bad, it's bad.

http://www.badmovies.org/othermovies/justiceleague/

The Martian Manhunter claims that Mars is warmer than earth, and is played by body beautiful David Ogden Stiers (Charles Winchester from 'MASH') who must have needed money for a kidney transplant.

The film is so appalling, you may go Oedipus on your eye sockets.

	01-07-2004 08:43									#27
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Cabin Fever - So Bad It's Good (tm)

	01-07-2004 09:40									#28
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Pod People!

ACK!

	01-07-2004 09:41									#29
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I don't remember if it was called "Get Smoochie" or "Kill Smoochie". Robin Williams in an extremely embarrassing role.

	01-07-2004 09:44									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Uncle Sparky I don't remember if it was called "Get Smoochie" or "Kill Smoochie". Robin Williams in an extremely embarrassing role.

Death to Smoochie, but it's not incredibly bad. It's just a bad movie.

ACK!