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Kuciwalker
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of Schmooism
Feb 2001
time: 00:34
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Three of the dead approached Malcom, zombie-like. They held slips of paper. Each had the word "Kuciwalker" written on it.
"What madness is this? Who is this 'Kuciwalker'?" demanded Malcom. "You can't vote anyway, you're dead. I know, it sucks, but there's nothing I can do. Well, actually there is something I can do, but if I brought you back you'd probably just be killed again."
"We... Want... Blood..." said the most recently dead one, Dr. Harding. "Blood..." repeated Hammond. They clawed at him, strangling him, tearing him limb from limb. Just as he lost consciousness, he woke up. He was momentarily confused at this seeming impossibility until he realized it had all been a bad dream.
Ok, not so witty, so shoot me 
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Kuciwalker
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of Schmooism
Feb 2001
time: 00:34
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Finally, the islanders decided to blaim everything on the security guard. Again, they pushed him from the helicopter. That one they particularly liked - it was much more fun than the other ways of killing the condemned, and they were getting pretty pissed that the killer wasn't dead yet.
"We must pray that this is the last death," said Ed Regis, taking Hammond's place as the leader of the survivors. "We must be strong".
...
Malcom was still worried that animals had gotten off the island, or that they were reproducing. "How do you keep the animals in control?" he asked the lab technician, who had taken over Arnold's administrative duties. Hercules - he'd always been teased as a child because of his name - was starting to get annoyed. It didn't help that Gennaro was on his case, too.
"You want to know about control mechanism?" Herc said, turning in his chair in the control room. "We have unbelievable control mechanisms," said the technician.
"For example," Gennaro said.
"For example, animal tracking." The technician pressed a button on the console, and the vertical glass map lit up with a pattern of jagged blue lines. "That's our juvenile T-Rex. All his movements within the park over the last twenty-four hours." He pressed another button. "Previous twenty four." And again. "Previous twenty-four."
"Where's the little Rex right now?" Gennaro asked.
"Hell, I'll show you every animal in the park," Herc said. "That's two hundred thirty-eight animals as of this minute."
"Pretty impressive," Gennaro said. "How's it done?"
"We have motion sensors all around the park. Most of 'em hard-wired, some radio-telemetered. Of course, the motion sensors won't usually tell you the species, but we get image recognition direct off the video. And there's the category tally."
"What's that?"
"Once every fifteen minutes, the computer tallies the animals in all categories. Like this," Herc said.
A table, with a column for "species", "expected", and "found", appeared on the screen. At the bottom was the total for all species. Both expected and found were the same, for all fields.
"I hope you're satisfied," said Ed Regis.
"Let's do a little test, shall we? Can we have the computer search for a different number of animals?" asked Malcom.
"Like what?" asked the technician.
"Try two hundred thirty-nine."
Herc tapped a few keys. "Just a minute." A moment later the screen printed the same table, but with one extra compy.
"What the hell?" asked Ed Regis.
"We picked up another compy," said the technician.
"From where?"
"I don't know!"
"Now, can we search for, say, three hundred animals?" asked Malcom.
"Just a moment, that'll take a few minutes" said the technician.
They watched as the total number of animals kept clicking higher: 239, 244, 270, 283... finally it said "ERROR: Search Params: 300 Animals Not Found".
"I knew there must be an error," said Ed Regis. But a moment later the whole screen printed the table again, and at the top it said "Total Animals 292".
"I told you so. They're breeding," Malcom said smugly.
Muldoon interjected. "Look. Some of the biggest breeders were the raptors. We have to kill them," he said emphatically.
"No! These are valuable animals, and Hammond said to make more!" exclaimed Herc.
"**** Hammond, he's dead, and **** you too. Thos things are dangerous. They're born killers, and smart. Deadly."
"We're going to stick with Hammonds orders, and that's that," replied the technician.
...
The next morning, they found Muldoon in the lab, dead. He'd been irradiated to the point of death, Dr. Satler concluded after only a cursory examination. "Someone would have to be very strong to force him into the irradiator," said Ed Regis. The rest looked at each other uneasily.
code:
mafia
| Name
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Position
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Status
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| 1. Kuciwalker
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Ian Malcom
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GM
|
| 2. Whoha
|
Dr. Grant |
villagers r3 electrocuted |
| 3. Adagio
|
Velociraptor
|
mafia r0 lysine deficiency |
| 4. Spaced Cowboy
|
Dr. Satler |
Still around |
| 5. Method
|
Hammond
|
villagers r5 thrown from helicopter |
| 6. Gamecube64
|
Ed Regis
|
Still around |
| 7. Jonny
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Arnold
|
mafia r4 neck snapped |
| 8. rah
|
Muldoon
|
mafia r6 irradiated |
| 9. Ljube-ljcvetko
|
Nedry
|
Still around |
| 10. Snowfire
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Lex
|
villagers r2 run over |
| 11. Hercules
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Lab Technician
|
Still around |
| 12. Kassiopeia
|
Timmy |
mafia r1 electified |
| 13. loinburger
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Gennaro
|
Still around |
| 14. joncha
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Ross
|
villagers r1 cut off |
| 15. FlameFlash
|
Helicopter Pilot |
Still around |
| 16. Ben Kenobi
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Park Guide
|
Still around |
| 17. Skanky Burns
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Construction Worker |
mafia r3 Melia poisoning |
| 18. duke o' york
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Dr. Harding |
mafia r5 lysine overdose |
| 19. DrSpike
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Security Guard
|
villagers r6 thrown from copter |
| 20. gjramsey
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Dr. Wu |
mafia r2 lysine poisoning |
| 21. Tuberski
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Dinosaur Handler |
Still around |
| 22. Frozzy
|
Guiterrez
|
Still around |
| 23. DarkCloud
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Dr. Stone
|
villagers r4 electricuted |
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Apolyton Time is 00:34. |
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17-08-2004 17:49
).
Buttheads!
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