09-08-2004 21:45									#1
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I was talking to my girlfriend on MSN about when I'd be staying with her for a few days at the end of the month, before she leaves her parents' place to return to university. Given how cranky she (like most people) gets when it comes to her packing up all her stuff to move out, I noted how it was probably a good thing that I'd be leaving her a couple of days before she'd be leaving, and so she wouldn't get angry at me.

Big mistake.

By mentioning the indisputable fact that moving invariably makes couples fight, and in particular that she always gets angry at me at some point whilst packing, the fight that I thought I was glad to avoid instead got pushed forwards to that MSN conversation.

I know women are a little funny, but using, "I'm glad we're not going to be fighting" as a basis for a fight is a new one for me

Any other seemingly innocent topics a man should avoid when talking to his girlfriend, or that've got any of you guys into big trouble?

	09-08-2004 22:05									#2
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I love it .

I love my wife and wouldn't change a thing but I have found it safer never to talk about her moods or crankiness generally-- Even if your SO says " I have been feeling awfully cranky today" DON'T AGREE .. . . its a trap I tell you.

Topics I avoid

anything to do with her weight-- I'll say "you look good" etc but never ANY comment specifically on weight
The attractiveness of any other female
Past relationships ( particularly anything to do with sex)
Any past fight ( if we are not fighting now, why would I go there?)

	09-08-2004 22:06									#3
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There is no safe topic with women. None.

Just learn to nod your head and say you're sorry and how grateful you are that she set you straight.

	09-08-2004 22:07									#4
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Then I get told off for being sarcastic

	09-08-2004 22:09									#5
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I've found, that just staring at their boobs helps in avoiding fights in relationships, by eliminating... relationships.

	09-08-2004 22:12									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Gibsie Then I get told off for being sarcastic

Face it, you can't win either way, that's by design.

	09-08-2004 22:16									#7
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What were you thinking?!! You'd leave her all alone when she was at a difficult time, not only having to suffer from the emotional pains of leaving her parents house, but also having to pack her stuff without your helping, and the worst, you are going to desert her because you accuse her to be in cranky mood!!! What a incensitive bastard you are.

	09-08-2004 22:27									#8
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Oh god, it's one of them

	09-08-2004 22:28									#9
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This thread should probably be topped for all time... I'm sure it'll come in handy often

	09-08-2004 22:33									#10
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Wait, wait, Gibsie is straight? Really? With a name like "Gibsie"?

	09-08-2004 22:39									#11
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quote: Originally posted by Kuciwalker This thread should probably be topped for all time... I'm sure it'll come in handy often

You mean like a FaQ about women?

	09-08-2004 22:56									#12
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Oh yeah, lots of expertise on that topic at Poly...

	09-08-2004 22:57									#13
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People here need all the help they can get

	09-08-2004 22:59									#14
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quote: Originally posted by -Jrabbit Oh yeah, lots of expertise on that topic at Poly...

	09-08-2004 23:01									#15
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You could always ask me.

quote: Originally posted by Gibsie Then I get told off for being sarcastic

What you should have said, is that you would be there with her all the time. And of course you knew that she would be in a cracky mode and you'd be the casualty of her fire, but what does it matter if you could only make her feel a little better. And by this you'd make her so moved by your willing sacrifice and say "I wouldn't be mad at you!" And she'll actually try not to be mad at you when the time comes. And if she is about to be mad at the time you can subtly mention this "See I told you you'd be mad at me" and if you are lucky enough she'd laugh it off. But remember don't say the last thing when it is too late, for she could say "Yeah of course you are always right and I'm always in cranky mood. Why did you come here then? Why don't you just get out and leave me alone!"

	09-08-2004 23:30									#16
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quote: Originally posted by -Jrabbit Oh yeah, lots of expertise on that topic at Poly...

actually more experience that your would suggest.

But the truly experienced would see the truth in your comment, in that no one ever gets expertise in the area of "women"-- you might get pretty good with respect to an individual woman but you are never an EXPERT on the gender

	09-08-2004 23:35									#17
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Unless you actually are one.

	09-08-2004 23:39									#18
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Yup, the old "yer not gonna get out of the fight" fight.

quote: Any other seemingly innocent topics a man should avoid when talking to his girlfriend, or that've got any of you guys into big trouble?

Everything I do gets me in trouble with wifey. I try to do just enough as to not get in trouble for doin nothing, and just enough as to not get in trouble for doing something.

	09-08-2004 23:52									#19
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quote: Originally posted by Barinthus There is no safe topic with women. None. Just learn to nod your head and say you're sorry and how grateful you are that she set you straight.

DING DING DING DING!!

We have a winner Tom! Tell us whats in store for Barinthus!






SPec.

	09-08-2004 23:55									#20
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"Does this dress make me look fat ?"

Never answer this one...you can not win this one, change the topic at all costs!!!

If she stares at the wall or ceiling for any longer than 3 seconds, again, go into red alert or you will painting for the next 6 weekends.

	09-08-2004 23:57									#21
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quote: Originally posted by Adagio You mean like a FaQ about women?

Seriously it would take more than a thread. This requires a series of books that would equal any encylopedia.

	10-08-2004 00:00									#22
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This should work, for starters.

	10-08-2004 00:05									#23
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Woman FAQ
by Japher

1. Why is she yelling at me? - No one will ever know
2. Why won't she have sex with me? - Headache
3. Why does she think I'm an idiot? - She's a woman
4. Does that dress make her look fat? - walk, no, run away
5. Can you do her a favor? - Yes, and make the task look very very difficult
6. Is she prettier than that girl? - Not at all
7. Are you listening to her? - I love you too dear
8. Do you know what day it is? - Always keep a present hidden away for her
9. Do you love her? - Of course
10. Can she have that new peice of jewelry? - She'll put out if you get it for her

	10-08-2004 00:29									#24
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Okay, well I think that from a woman's point of view, you all need to see that you won't get away with anything, because we are women. We are ALWAYS right, and you will never win. You can't change the way God made us, so just learn to accept it, and try your best to stay out of hot water and you will be okay. Always tell the woman that you are with that you love her and make her feel special daily, and that will mean more to her than anything else, and believe it or not, it might save your ass on more than one occassion.

This is from Spraybers fiance so that is why it is a little *****y! Sorry

	10-08-2004 00:47									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Sprayber Always tell the woman that you are with that you love her and make her feel special daily, and that will mean more to her than anything else, and believe it or not, it might save your ass on more than one occassion.

And I thought for a minute that there is one man in the earth that had truely got it.

	10-08-2004 00:56									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Japher Woman FAQ by Japher 1. Why is she yelling at me? - She needs your attention 2. Why won't she have sex with me? - You didn't do enough that gets her into that state 3. Why does she think I'm an idiot? - You missed a cue 4. Does that dress make her look fat? - She looks gorgeous in everything 5. Can you do her a favor? - Yes, and make the task look very very difficult (I'll give you this one but don't over play it) 6. Is she prettier than that girl? - Which girl? You didn't notice any other girl 7. Are you listening to her? - I love you too dear (a little oversimplified actually but you've got the most important ) 8. Do you know what day it is? - Always keep a present hidden away for her ( Good one) 9. Do you love her? - Of course (Yes and you are not tired of her asking this again and again) 10. Can she have that new peice of jewelry? - Well she always look fabulous and lovely with or without the jewelry (if you don't want to buy it that is)

	10-08-2004 01:01									#27
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All you big boys afraid of little ole' women You have nothing to fear from us

	10-08-2004 01:23									#28
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Snowflake gave an excellent piece of advice there. He's right, the girl would want Gibsie be there.

I'd have not brought that thing about fighting up, I'd offer to be there with her to help out and everything even if I knew it'd lead to the inevitable - the fighting.

I'd just grin and bear it if she start to be cranky and take it out on me. I'm not too good at packing myself (I actually prefer to do it all by myself, I'm worse than a woman if others are involved). I'd try my best not to snap back and if I succeed (give myself a big pat on my back), she'd usually later on say sorry for being grouchy or whatever and make it up to me. But there's a chance I'd be a bit touchy for a while, it's not easy for me to take 'abuse' from someone I love. If I fail, we get in this stupid argument over nothing and she end up being mad at me for few days . So either way I suffer.

Snowflake's pretty smooth, knowing how to defuse tensions with some choice lines there. Wish I had that ability.

Why can't it be like this:

Man: You know, this packing thing? I think maybe it's a good idea if I kind of just stay away for a while so I don't get in the way or something? That way we don't get into an argument like people often do over packing.

Woman: Aw, honey, that's so sweet of you, I would not want for us to get into an argument. But it would really mean a lot to me if you could be there with me. It's a sensitive time for me and it'd be so wonderful to have you there. We'll just try not to take anything personal or get into argument. No matter what, I love you, remember that.

instead of:

Woman: You insenstive b***ard! How do you dare to imply our relationship isn't secure enough blah blah blah blah blah idiot blah blah blah jerk blah blah blah!!!

Why couldn't G's gf recongize that he was trying to be thoughtful and considerable although perhaps it wasn't along the lines she'd want him to be. The important thing here is the thought and she could have communicate in more positive way that she would want him there.

	10-08-2004 01:34									#29
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I've noticed that if you accidently say something mildly bad to your girlfriend she will nag you into explaining yourself and will deftly turn all subsequent attempts at compliments into insults as foreplay to an argument you will definitely not win. If you say something fairly bad she will get into an ill thought argument straight away and honours are even. If you say something really bad she will give you the silent treatment for a while.

Almost counter-intuitive crime-punishment scenario there if you ask me.

Beware though, say something really really bad and you will have to make sure you've hidden the scissors and your favourite clothes.

	10-08-2004 01:46									#30
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Well when people gets more intimate with each other they don't talk like they are diplomats all the time. You know using beautiful words and so on. But a girl won't say "insensitive b***ard" for no reason too. I was being delibrately dramatic.

But Barinthus is right. How you say it sometime does have a big effect. Equally important is how you interpret your significant other's words and expressions.