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snoopy369
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Of the Peanuts Gallery
Apr 2004
time: 23:22
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*URGENT NEWS BREAK*
From Al-Abarat News Agency ... All the News Allah Wants You To Hear, with the best Heralds in all the land delivering your news to you as soon as we can write it!
The Eternal Army of the Arab Nation has gone forth in the hopes of converting the heathen Hittites to the One True Faith. We pray to Allah that our Ansar Warriors will come home safely, or go to rest with Allah with honor.
We are able to report that the Heathen Cities of Tarsus, Harran, and Kadesh have agreed to praise Allah's name; the following is the list of the faithful who have fought bravely, and won great victories, whether it be by sending infidels to their demise, or by elevating themselves to Allah's graces:
- TARSUS:
[list]AC (ancient cavalry) captures worker
4/4 AW (Ansar Warrior) loses to 4/4 Spear; Spear 2/4
4/4 AW beats 4/4 Spear; AW 1/4
4/4 AW retreats from 4/4 Spear; spear 1/4, AW flogged for retreating.
4/4 AW beats 2/4 spear; AW 3/4
4/4 AW beats 1/4 spear; AW 2/4; Tarsus captured!
[*]HARRAN:
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear; AW 4/4
4/4 AW retreats from 4/4 spear; spear 4/4, AW flogged at 1/4
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear; AW 1/4
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear; AW 3/4; Harran captured!
[*]KADESH:
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear; AW 2/4; takes Kadesh
[*]HATTUSAS:
4/4 AW takes worker near Hattusas
[/list]
Thank you for listening to Al-Abarat News, and please come back to the square next week when we will give you more glad tidings of Grand Arabic Victories!!!!
1810 to Wittlich
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snoopy369
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Of the Peanuts Gallery
Apr 2004
time: 23:22
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Story courtesy of Al-Abarat:
*bam ba da bum ba da bum ... bum bum bum ...*
And now, courtesy of Al-Abarat, we bring you ... Arabia's top rated news cry- 5 Salah! Well known for its incisive commentary and cruel mockery of Infidels, 5 Salah is THE news cry to hear, if you can hear only one - or five!
*ba da bum ... bum ... bum ...*
"In today's news ... The military has announced further gains in the realm of the Hittites, including the capital of Hittiteland, Hattusus, and interior city Ankuwa, as well as the port city of Adana. A report on the actions of the Faithful follows this report.
"This reporter is grateful for the actions of the Faithful, as they have proven their valor and are now reclining in victory in Hattusas, or with Allah.
"However, this reporter is concerned about the expansion of the Arab nation without the proper expansion of the bureaucracy that is needed to support such an empire. Will not corruption be rampant in such a nation? Can we not convert the Infidels without destroying the very building blocks of the civilization needed to properly respect the wishes of Allah?
"Perhaps the Government would explain to us how our concerns over rampant corruption will be addressed. A second Palace in or near the new additions would be a positive sign, as would the expansion of Courthouses and other buildings of Governmental presence. The construction of Mosques in the various former Hittite possessions is a good first step, but we hope our Fearless Leaders will continue to expand the presence of the Arabic Nation alongside that of the Islamic."
"Here follows the actions of the Faithful:
"In the brief Battle of Adana, a single 4/4 Ansar Warrior (AW) defeated a 4/4 Spear, with 1/4 remaining, taking the city.
"In the battle of Ankuwa:
- 4/4 AW loses to 4/4 spear, 2/5 (promoted)
- 4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear, 3/4 remaining
- 4/4 AW beats 2/5 spear, 3/4 remaining, takes Ankawa
"In the battle of Hattusus:
- 4/4 AW loses to 4/4 spear -> 3/5 (promoted)
- 4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear -> 1/4
- 4/4 AW retreats from 4/4 spear -> 3/4 (spear) 1/4 (AW)
- 4/4 AW beats 3/5 Spear -> 4/5 (promoted)
- 4/4 AW beats 3/4 Spear -> 1/4, takes Hattusus
"In the brief skirmish around Harran, a Warrior was defeated by a 4/4 Medieval Warrior, with 3/4 remaining.
"Several Hittite workers were captured as well, near Adana and Ankuwa.
"So concludes our report for this evening. Tune in next Salaat for more news of the actions of the Faithful ... go with Allah!"
-> Wittlich
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snoopy369
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Of the Peanuts Gallery
Apr 2004
time: 23:22
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BUM BA DA BUM BUM BUM ... BUM ... BUM
From Al-Abarat, the producers of Five Salat, comes The Republic of Arabia's highest rated late-night cry ... Fifth Salaah with Jamal Al-Lenal!
"Good evening gentlemen and ladies, and welcome to Fifth Salaah.
"Any of you follow the progress of the Faithful in Hittiteland recently? Hmm? Seems those Hittites have been the butter to our knife lately, at least if you believe the casualty reports coming from our Trusted Government.
"Of course, a butterknife isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer ...
"Especially when you consider the fact that our trusted leader can't even spell our new cities' names right half the time. Hattusha, Hatusha, Hatusa, which is it?
"Heck, I was pretty sure we took that city LAST year, but it was spelled Hattusus. Sometimes I wonder if they're just going back and retaking cities just so the media can get better drawings...
"Anyone here ever go to Aleppo before the war?"
"Well, I was wondering ... Can Aleppo really change its spots? For their sake I hope so ... Because I hear the spot it's on now is currently occupied by Ansar Warriors!
"I heard yesterday that the Hittite Navy has sent a ship towards our new 'possessions'.
"Perhaps their sailors have decided the water is too hot up north? Eh?
"That, or they finally figured out that our Ansar Warriors can't swim with all of that heavy armor plating ... "
Now for the casualty reports ...
Hattusha:
- 4/4 AW beats 4/4 Spear, 2/4 remaining
- 4/4 AW beats 4/4 Spear, promoted, 3/5 remaining, takes Hattusha
Aleppo:
- 4/4 AW beats 4/4 Spearman, prometed, 2/5 remaining
- 4/4 AW loses to 4/4 Spearman -> 1/4 remaining
- 4/4 AW beats 4/4 Spearman, 2/4 remaining
- 4/5 AW beats 1/4 Spearman, 4/5 remaining, captures Aleppo
Several workers also taken around Hattusha and other cities.
Turn to Portugal...
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snoopy369
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Of the Peanuts Gallery
Apr 2004
time: 23:22
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Okay, i'm busy tonight so no IC post 
Ugarit:
4/4 AW loses to 4/4 spear, 1/4 left
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear, 4/4 left
4/4 AW loses to 4/4 spear, 1/4 left
4/4 AW beats 1/4 spear, 3/4 left
4/4 MW beats 1/4 spear, 1/4 left, takes Ugarit
Tyrana:
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear, 2/4 left
4/4 AW beats 3/3 spear, 2/4 left
4/4 AW beats 3/3 spear, 4/4 left, takes Tyrana
Hibishna:
4/4 AW retreats from 4/4 spear, 2/4 left on spear (longbow defensive fire)
4/4 AW beats 4/4 spear, 3/4 left
3/4 AW loses to 2/4 spear, 1/4 remaining
*sigh* ran out of people in radius ... don't worry i'll have enough next turn
Also killed a 3/3 warrior on a hill in my area, 3/4 left on my MW.
To Wittlich.
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snoopy369
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Of the Peanuts Gallery
Apr 2004
time: 23:22
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The Arabic news cry Al-Arabat is proud to present ...
Achmed Sultan Live, with your host Achmed Sultan!
Today, we're interviewing General Jamal Al-Shadiq, leader of the Arabian Forces in Hittiteland.
General Al-Shadiq, would you update us on the progress of the Arabian Faithful?
"Yes, Achmed, of course I cannot tell you confidential information, but ... "
General, are you hiding something?
"No, Achmed. I'm just ..."
General, I think we have the right to know.
"Well, Achmed, I'll do my best ...
"We took Hubishna yesterday, with no losses. That marks the final city in the southern portion of the continent for Hittiteland, and a major ..."
Excuse me, General, but wasn't it embarassing that the Arabian Army failed to take this lightly defended city last year, and in fact lost units to a counterattack?
"Well, Achmed, I admit that it would have been nice to wrap up the southern front last year, but ..."
General, just admit it. You were not prepared for Hubishna.
"Actually, Achmed, Hubishna wasn't part of our plans last year at all. We had planned on only taking two cities last year, and we did."
So why did you even attack it at all, General? Was your intelligence faulty? Were you simply too aggressive?
"Well, Achmed, it wasn't that at all. We simply saw an opportunity, and went for it. Had we succeeded, it would have saved us time and lives, and given us one more turn to convert more Faithful from the heathens."
Excuse me, General. What is this "turn" you mention?
"Um ... yeah ... I believe you misheard, Achmed. I said "Term". We were after all in an election year last year, and I wanted to give my dear friend the President another success on his resumé."
Yeah, whatever. Anyway, what about the north? Any plans? Will you accept a peace offer?
"We are unable to present our plans at the current time, Achmed, as they would endanger our troops if a heathen heard this cry. However, we can assure you that our plans are going forward, Larry."
Um, I'm Achmed, General.
"Oh - my mistake, I misspoke. Anyway, Achmed, do not worry, we will be succesful within a few turns , years, er ..."
Turns again, General? Do you think this is a GAME?
"Er - um - This interview is over! "
Actually, General, there is five more min ...
"No! Guards! Put this man in ..."
*static*
Combat report:
Hubishna
- 4/4 AW retreats from 4/4 spear, spear = 2/4
- 4/4 AW beats 2/4 spear, 4/4 remaining, takes Hubishna
- 3/4 AW beats 2/4 Longbow, promoted, 4/5 remaining.
Elsewhere, several workers were taken. No further combat this round.
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05-01-2005 01:00
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