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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:16
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 Cherish the Planet, remember Gaia. |
In this issue:
*Ecological Malcontents are legal again!
*New Muirland
*Learning with Planet
*New kind of Mindworms?
*A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union
*Quote of the Day
*Entertainment
*Literary section
*Other news in brief
*Advertisement
*Cacupuncture
*Contest
Ecological Malcontents are legal again!
Leader of the Movement, Prophet Cha Dawn
In one of most exciting Council sessions in it's history, ban on Ecological Malcontents movement has been revoked! Bill that nulified the ban has won by a single vote, despite the all efforts of Lord Chaos and Lord Illuminatus to prevent it. 'Dark Age is looming again upon us.' was the comment of Lord Illuminatus. New leader of the Ecological Malcontents movement Cha Dawn, a thirteen year old boy once known as wonder child, is responsible for much of the movements achievements in last few years. Although he is their leader for a year only, and a member for two years, the movement claims he has directed them for eight years now. We have received no additional explanation how was this 'direction' been performed. Cha Dawn or Prophet Cha Dawn as he now styles himself, has announced that his party, Cult of Planet, now legalized will run for positions in High Council. This will be first elections in last ten years, since the Silver Bill declared elections unnecesary unless requested and proceeded to elect High Council directly in the Council of Lords.
Each official has announced that they intend to retain their positions and will run against Cha Dawn's candidates. Even Lady Deirdre has expressed her support to the current High Council saying that Cult of the Planet is the wrong way to go. “They wish to purge Planet clean of humankind, and that goes against Planet’s wishes. We, as a species, are hurting the Planet without any doubt, but Planet has learned much from us, and we are learning from Planet. I have no doubt that victims of the Colony pod Hope are a tragedy, but it has only shown that Planet will randomly hurt us, as we are randomly hurting it. Going on a wild rampage is not what Planet really wishes. We can learn to live in harmony with Planet and this message has to be spread by peace. War is our last resort.”
This is how Prophet Cha Dawn commented the revoke of the ban: “Mankind has been blind for thousands of years-for all of its history. We have come to a place whose wonders are a hundred-fold more amazing than anything on Earth. Around us is clear evidence of the will of a higher power. I bring the Vision to the blind eyes of men. I bring the Word to the deaf ears of men. I will make them see it. I will make them hear it.”
Elections are scheduled for next year and have been already declared the most important political event in history of Gaian Union since the populary called, 'Skye intervention'.
New Muirland
Gaian Union has declared newly discovered lands New Muirland! After the successful initial exploration of the area, which has shown rich native life presence, explorers are planning to venture deeper in the mainland, wanting to explore evidence of human habitation supplied by GAIA. The lands so far discovered have been named after the suggestion of Lord Smacksim. Many people raised question if we are going to expand to the New Muirland – High Council claims that about such venture shall not be decided until the mainland of the New Muirland is explored since GAIA claims must be comfirmed or rejected first.
Learning with Planet
Encouraged by success of previous issue, we plan to bring you short articles about biosphere in following issues.
The centerpiece of the symbiotic web is Planet's dominant species, a sessile, plant-like organism called xenofungus. Xenofungus takes the form of dense mats of tubular shoots, with individual specimens ranging from microscopic size up to a foot in diameter. These mats form massive heaps covering thousands of square miles of land, with a depth ranging from 2 yards at the edges up to almost 30 yards at the center of a fungus zone. The fungal mats can be thousands of years old, and are very stable in size and shape. Perhaps a quarter of Planet's surface is covered by fungal mats, stretching across hundreds or thousands of miles to form a unified network.
The fungus concentrates certain trace elements from the soil into its shoots, and is rich in a variety of useful biochemicals. With the development of appropriate technologies, fungus mats can yield high levels of energy, mineral and nutrient production.
However, xenofungus can also present a formidable obstacle. Moving across a fungal zone is a difficult process. It is possible to simply blast through the fungus, using flamethrowers or other directed-energy weapons. A very heavy vehicle might have the raw mass needed to break through the mats, like a tank crushing hedgerows on Earth. Lighter vehicles (or foot traffic) must move across the top of the mat. There, they will find patches of rough points and sharp edges capable of shredding tires or environment suits. There are also many cavities and gaps in the mat, which can trap unwary travelers.
Deep in the thickest xenofungus mats, the fungus sometimes takes on a new form: the fungal tower. Instead of growing along the ground, a dense cluster of fungal stalks grows straight up, reaching heights of 75 to 100 yards. At the top of the tower appear a variety of specialized organs with mysterious functions. The fungal towers are harmless if avoided, but any attempt to destroy them or the normal fungus in their area invariably triggers an attack by mind worms and other fungus symbionts.
Next time: mindworms and spore launchers.
New kind of Mindworms?
Several sightings of this new kind of lifeform have been reported although not one has confirmed its existence as a species. Xenobiologist Ronald Berry said that even if it is real, it has no similarities to usual mindworms. Distinctive red and black colors, different body shape, lack of razor sharp mandibles. It's tentacles are positioned differently along the body, and never has one such 'mindworm' been recorded on a video footage. There is no evidence that this lifeform contributes to symbiotic bonds of planet's ecosystem. Lord RedFred attributes this to halucinations. Is this truly a new species or just a hallucination - only time will tell.
Cacupuncture
Leon Lorraine, and 22 year old Gaian has accidentaly discovered a new method of acupuncture when he mistakenly proceeded to hug a cactus. "It was painful at first, but suddenly I started to feel better. After a few days I hugged it again. Through practice every day, I learned how to make use of the technique, although small accidents happened to me." He has started a company that breeds cactuses and trains people for cacupuncture, as he calls it. "This will improve your health greately, and you just need to hug a cactus properly to ease your everyday pains."
Already hundreds of Gaians have tried the cacupuncture and it seems that they are quite happy with the results.
"Applying this to your back is somewhat more difficult, as you can't hug it with you back, but I found the solution by rolling on cactus - you do need to be careful when doing this, but as always, my trainers and I are ready to help you learn the proper technique." Reports say that foreigners are very interested in this technique and may be significant in trade with other factions.
Quote of the Day
We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
--Francis Bacon
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Entertainment
Outtakes from conversation with Planet: (These do not actually depict true conversations with Planet but are merely a humorous representations of such and should not be taken as real ones.)
Planetvoice: You are orphans, earthdeirdre, your homeworld already buried so young among the aeons. Yet now you fill the skies where we watched a million sunsets with flame and contrails, paying no heed to the hard lessons the universe has tried to teach you. Are you a breath of life to invigorate a complacent world, you earthhumans, or an insidious dancer which must be excised?
Lady Deirdre: Do you mean cancer Voice? Or you hate Lord of the Dance so much?
Planetvoice: Oh ******. Lets that do again shall we?
Planetvoice: We welcome you, earthdeirdre and earthwheat and earthtree as honored guests. Please do not steal the silverware and be sure to clean your feet before you enter the house.
Lady Deirdre: Uh Voice, what was that supposed to mean?
Planetvoice: Sorry, resist could not we.
Planetvoice: Knock knock earthdeirdre.
Lady Deirdre: Uh, who is it.
Planetvoice: We it is.
Lady Deirdre: We who?
Planetvoice: We voice.
Lady Deirdre: I don't get it. Where is the punchline?
Planetvoice: Punchline?
Planetvoice: You are orphans, earthdeirdre, your homeworld already buried so young among the aeons. Yet now you fill the skies where we watched a million sunsets with flame and contrails, paying no heed to the hard lessons the universe has tried to teach you. Are you a breath of life to invigorate a complacent world, you earthhumans, or an insidious cancer which must be circumcised?
Lady Deirdre: Do we need to go with that again?
Literary section
Our advice for the week:
Other news in brief
*Xenoweed discovered by accident, researchers stoned by discovery. Further research forbidden by Lordship of Progress and data confiscated.
*Wild transmissions of Star Wars caught in eter - GAIA has no answer about origin of them.
*Lord Octavian announces development of xenoxenoxenodoughnuts - linguists and xenobiologists confused.
*First Gaian Olympics show great success; with 16 disciplines and 648 sportsmen. Gaia's Landing teams earn 6 gold medals, three silver ones and five bronze ones. Next olympics scheduled for MY 2129. show similar results, but with more participation - 782 sportsmen and 17 disciplines. In surprising turn of events, Fallow Times teams earn 8 gold medals, two silver ones and one bronze.
*River appears out from nowhere, scouts report - further investigation required.
*Shelter for abused spore launchers founded in cooperation with PLO.
*People report strange sightings at sea.
*Forest expand in weird patterns, Planetologists unable to explain.
*Lordship of Progress and GAIA initiate longterm project Pyrrho, details secret.
*Xenobunnies discovered - cute xenofluffy animals quickly become popular.
*GAIA reports that number of Finns has doubled in Spartan Federation - this makes Spartans the most evil faction on Planet, according to words of officer Kassiopeia of Spartan Federation. Caution advised when dealing with them.
Advertisement
Try cacupuncture today! Success guaranteed.
Third Gaian Olympic Games scheduled for 2133, apply for them now!
If you wish to join the faction use this
(advised to contact Illuminatus about this)
Treehugging is good for your health! Hug tree at least twice a week (warning: do not confuse trees and cactuses )
Want to contribute to this papers? Follow the procedure to join if you are not a Gaian, and if you already are visit VotP Offices.
Templars are recruiting, visit their castle for more details.
More empaths needed for our Xenocorps, visit GDA HQ to apply (certificate of Empath Guild needed).
A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union
Part Two: Gaia's Landing
In from the capitol's outskirts lies the hustle and bustle of the base itself.
The city's streets are all laid out on a pattern of several concentric circles, with wide promenades connecting them. You won't find many motorized vehicles in the area, as most Gaians eschew mechanical forms of transportation in favor of walking of cycling. Of course, this means it can take days to cross the city, so you're best bet on a ride is a public bus, though they run notoriously late because so many pedestrians crowd the streets.
Of main interest, in the innermost ring of the city, is the Council of the Gaian Union. This building houses the main legislative and judicial functions of Union government. Tours of the building are free, though foreigners will have trouble getting into sessions of the Council itself, as its goings-on are strictly protected from outsiders, as a matter of national security. Of course, it's not terribly exciting to watch the councilors work: mostly on mundane matters of colony pod placement and base production and such. The layman, and most humourously, some councilors, wouldn't understand a thing.
Also sharing the central circle with the Council Building is the famed tall and particularly beautiful stand of white pine, planted at the time of the first colonies. Many Gaians make it a point to daily run naked through this hallowed groud. Be warned, though, that not all Gaians are particularly interesting to look at (indeed, some are just down right repulsive), contrary to many (if not all) pornographic videos may say/show. Cameras are strictly forbidden, so we recommend you take one with you anyway.
Various buildings housing the executive offices are the Gaian goverment are also found in the inner rings of Gaia's Landing. The buildings of the Lordships of Development, Diplomacy, Progress, are Security (also known as GAIA) are all open to the public, though they mostly are really rather uninteresting. For a good time, though, one just has to walk into the Building of the Chairman of the Council of Lords, and pretend to start work as a janitor there. Almost all who have done claim it was the best, most mind-blowing experiences of their lives.
For an interesting botanical tour, visit the gardens of Lady Deirdre Skye, located next to her residence near the Council Building. A small donation is asked for at entry, and it is worth every energy credit. Many plants you didn't even know about grow here - on is rumored to actually resemble a living, breathing xenocow, that will moo and drop some feces from time to time.
-to be continued
Contest
Due to yet unknown reasons (other factions too lazy ? ), no submissions have been received this time. Due to this contest is being cancelled.
Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Octavian X with material from Jon F. Zeigler
No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever.
No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees with the rest of Gaians or watching Gaian Olympics. VotP Offices have upgraded to a different computer systems which slightly changes data encryption.
In next issue read: More of Hitchhikers Guide and Learning with Planet, Report about strange sightings at sea and possible Interfactional Crisis with political refugees. Gaia'sLanding.2130->21301888645.tr-ttz-10f.-#GH5
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Hagar the Gaian*
in episode: CMNs, titles and Finland 
*Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic. |
Last edited by Illuminatus on 22-08-2004 at 20:18
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Octavian X
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Probably buried under piles of Literature, Biology, or Government homework
Jan 2002
time: 23:16
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A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union
Part Two: Gaia's Landing
In from the capitol's outskirts lies the hustle and bustle of the base itself.
The city's streets are all laid out on a pattern of several concentric circles, with wide promenades connecting them. You won't find many motorized vehicles in the area, as most Gaians eschew mechanical forms of transportation in favor of walking of cycling. Of course, this means it can take days to cross the city, so you're best bet on a ride is a public bus, though they run notoriously late because so many pedestrians crowd the streets.
Of main interest, in the innermost ring of the city, is the Senate of the Gaian Union. This building houses the main legislative and judicial functions of Union government. Tours of the building are free, though foreigners will have trouble getting into sessions of the Senate itself, as its goings-on are strictly protected from outsiders, as a matter of national security. Of course, it's not terribly exciting to watch the senators work: mostly on mundane matters of colony pod placment and base production and such. The layman, and most humourously, some Senators, wouldn't understand a thing.
Also sharing the central circle with the Senate Building is the famed tall and particularly beautiful stand of white pine, planted at the time of the first colonies. Many Gaians make it a point to daily run naked through this hallowed groud. Be warned, though, that not all Gaians are particularly interesting to look at (indeed, some are just down right repulsive), contrary to many (if not all) pornographic videos may say/show. Cameras are strictly forbidden, so we recommend you take one with you anyway.
Various buildings housing the executive offices are the Gaian goverment are also found in the inner rings of Gaia's Landing. The buildings of the Lordships of Development, Diplomacy, Progress, are Security are all open to the public, though they mostly are really rather uninteresting. For a good time, though, one just has to walk into the Building of the Chairman of the Council of Lords, and pretend to start work as a janitor there. Almost all who have done claim it was the best, most mind-blowing experiences of their lives.
For an interesting botanical tour, visit the gardens of Lade Deidre Skye, located next to her residence near the Senate Building. A small donation is asked for at entry, and it is worth every energy credit. Many plants you didn't even know about grow here - on is rumored to actually resemble a living, breathing xenocow, that will moo and drop some feces from time to time.
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:16
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(In work)
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In this issue:
*
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*Literary section
*Other news in brief
*Advertisemen
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*Contest
*
ARTICLE TITLE 1
How to solve problems with Cult of Planet?
We have witnessed a wave of unrest during last several years. Members of Planet Cult are instigating civil unrest across the Union. Since their sound defeat at elections of 2131., Prophet Cha Dawn has declared that they do not longer wish to lead the Gaian Union, but to secede from Gaian Union and pursue their goals indenpendently. Fallow Tragedy which happened in 2134. was spurred by Cult of Planet in their attempt to secede the base from Union and rename it Dawn of Planet, in attempt to create their own faction. Over three hundred dead and nearly eight hundred wounded were the result of failed civil unrests. Public was shocked with this events, and Cult of Planet was banned again, and their remaining repesentatives removed from the Council. Since then, Cult of Planet has continued to operate undercover, supporting unrest among drones, conducting sabotage actions against terrain improvements, and even trying to obtain a mindworm or two for their uses (we learned this as a result of investigation of Seraphin accident).
High Council has said before that they won't bow to terrorist demands, evem after Fallow Tragedy. Question is, how will we stop attacks? Repeated police actions have failed to stop Planet Cult, although they decreased their numbers and resources significantly. Should we allow them to continue their terrorist actions? Although Planet Cult wishes to secede with a number of bases from the Union, none of bases has shown overwhelming support for Planet Cult - and with increasing terrorist actions from Planet Cult initial support for them has dwindled.
Cult of Planet receiving outside help?
There are growing suspicions that Cult of Planet is being secretly funded by outside sources. This is one of explanations how did they manage to stir so many trouble in last time. Is outside power undermining stability of the Union? As strange as it seems, since Cha Dawn has expressed hostility to every outside faction, it may be a reality.
Several early statements from Angel Infotrader GeoModder initialy supplied the doubt that Data Angels might be funding Cult, but this was soon disapproved as GAIA determined that Angels are not funding Cult, having not capability to do so. Angels did express political support in initial efforts of Cult, offering them a place for renegades, but they seem to have withdrawn it after Cult publicly declined their support, calling them 'filth that needs to be purged with the rest of mankind'.
Other option is, that Chairman Yang is funding Cha Dawn in order to weaken Union for Hiverian invasion. This is also unlikely, because of already mentioned reasons, but Cult may be desparate enough to temporary accept outiside help. Yang, does have the capability to do so.
Third option is that yet unmet power, but whose existence has been proven, is funding Cult for their nefarious schemes, which involve weaking Union through internal unrest.
All scenarios seem unlikely, but we must carefuly consider them. What if Cult is just a pawn in greater plans? We must be prepared for this possibility.
ARTICLE TITLE 4
ARTICLE TITLE 5
The most feared creature on Planet is a small, snakelike animal which rarely grows more than 6 inches in length. As individuals, the mind worms are unimpressive, but in mass they are one of Planet's greatest scourges.
Variant forms of the mind worm exist. Aquatic and flying mind worms have been documented. Both forms or "vectors" are otherwise identical to the land-based mind worm.
For most of its life cycle, the mind worm lives a solitary, almost dormant existence in the interstices of Planet's fungal mats. There it exists as a symbiont, performing several functions to keep the fungus healthy while feeding on selected fungal stalks. From time to time, however, the mind worms congregate into a larval mass as the result of some biochemical trigger (or psionic signal) released by the xenofungus. As the larval mass grows, it can become a full-fledged boil, moving out of the fungus zones into regions inhabited by humans. There the mind worms become a terrifying plague, attacking any Earth-born thing they sense. Their physical attack is vicious but rather trivial, overshadowed by their capacity for psionic assault.
Mind worms have razor-sharp mandibles which can inflict a vicious grinding bite. Given time they can gnaw through just about anything, although they can instinctively find weak points in armor or other materials. They have a particular affinity for the neural tissue of animals, and will seek out such tissue when attacking. Human victims face a horrific fate, as the mind worms burrow through the eye sockets or other openings in the skull. Mind worms which penetrate a braincase will implant egg sacs in the protein-rich tissue, instantly killing the victim.
Particularly dense mind-worm boils are perfectly capable of covering a human victim, bringing some of their number into position to burrow into his braincase even if he is resisting. In most cases, however, the mind worm needs an unprotected and helpless victim before it can finish its attack. Mind worm boils reduce their targets to such a state using a psionic attack (p. 00). Victims see nightmare visions of torture and suffering, and are effectively unable to resist as the mind worms move in for the kill. Only the most disciplined (or psi-talented) troops can hold the mind worm boil off long enough to bring flame guns or other weapons into use.
An adult mind worm normally lives for only a month outside the symbiotic protection of its xenofungus field. Their boil phase is actually the climax of their reproductive cycle, the time when they seek out fertile ground in which to implant their eggs. Mind worms reproduce sexually but are hermaphroditic, and can even impregnate themselves in hostile conditions. Mind worms exhibit very little genetic diversity; one worm is virtually identical to any other, anywhere on Planet.
When a mind worm boil is destroyed by violence, its slayers reap an unexpected reward. Some members of a boil (possibly the same ones which play a coordinating role in its psionic attack) build up rare elements and exotic organic compounds in their bodies. When these mind worms are killed, they leave behind husks which can be "mined" for useful materials. These husks are informally called planetpearls by the human colonists, and are highly prized.
Mind worms are not restricted to the land. An aquatic variety lives in Planet's oceans, symbiotic on the sea fungus just as the land-based variety lives within the continental fungus zones. Aquatic mind worms are the same species as the land-based variety, the variations in form and life cycle apparently governed by a different subset of their common genetic basis. Aquatic boils are called isles of the deep. The boil's biochemical processes generate gases for buoyancy, allowing the boil to float on the surface. There, the isle is quite capable of seeking out food sources such as ships and sea colonies. Isles of the deep which approach the coastline have been known to spawn boils of the land-based vector, which break away from the parent mass and proceed to hunt on land.
The third vector of the mind worm is the airborne locusts of Chiron. On rare occasions, a pre-boil mass of mind worms undergoes a radical physical transformation, its individual members growing wings and taking to the air. Locusts of Chiron are fast-moving and particularly vicious, and normally appear only during periods of intense mind-worm activity.
ARTICLE TITLE 6
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Quote of the Day
The grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls
-John Muir
Entertainment
A large group of Hiverian soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a hill. "One Spartan soldier is better than ten Hiverians". The hive commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers to the hill whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Spartan is better than one hundred Hiverians". Furious, the Hive commander sends his next best 100 troops to the hill and instantly a huge gunfight commences, impact and laset weapons firing, soldiers screaming, explosions rocking the area... After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Spartan voice calls out again "One Spartan is better than one thousand Hiverians". The enraged Hive Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them to the hill. Detonations, shredders and impact gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Hiverian crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them."
Outtakes
Planetvoice: Why did the earthmorgan cross the road?
Lady Deirdre: I don't know. Why Voice?
Planetvoice: To run away from mindworms.
Lady Deirdre: That was pretty lame.
Planetvoice: Better we recall our mindworms then.
Lady Deirdre: You did that for real? Wait Voice, you can't just...
Planetvoice: [terminates link]
Planetvoice: Yo! [censored]ing earthdeirdre!
Lady Deirdre: What! How... what happened to you Voice?
Planetvoice: Wassup! We are from tha Gettho!
Lady Deirdre: Errr, yes, you are Voice.
Planetvoice: Haha, new human skill learn we. How do you like it, earthdeirdre
Lady Deirdre: Yes, excellent, Voice. It is so good that you do not need to do it again.
Literary section
Book Reccomendations
The Fungus Speaks by Olga Popavitch - Mystical
The Danger of Sniffing Spores by Georgiana Brown - Self-Help/Informative
Lady Deirdre and Her Secrets: The Unauthorized Biography by Unknown -Young Adult/Biography
The Fungus in Her Bed by Markos Riveria - Romance
Blood in the Fungus by Doyles Conan - Mystery
Jinny and the Fungal Tower by Peter William - Children's
The Monolith Lives by Fredrick Marpohl - Science Fiction
The Spartans are Coming! by Lars Bondonson - Action/Techno
Mindmages by Ian MacDonald - Fantasy
Other news in brief
*Angel faction reported to be 'quite zombie'. Divine interventions suspected.
*Terrorist leader Cha Dawn doesn't age - rumours tell.
*Man claims to see unidentified ships at sea, bearing pirate flag. Report dismissed as hallucination.
*Relations with Yang strained.
Advertisement
ARTICLE TITLE 10
Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Ouro_827
No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever.
No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles.
In next issue read: SOME THINGS Gaia'sLanding.2MISSIONYEAR->SOME NUBMERS011011645.tr10f.
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Hagar the Gaian*
in episode: EPISODE NAME
*Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic. |
Last edited by Illuminatus on 16-09-2004 at 21:43
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:16
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(In work)
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Lady Deirdre speaks
WAR DECLARED!
My fellow Gaians, with great sadness I must inform you that from twenty minutes ago, we are in war with the Hive. Leader of Hive, infamous Chairman Yang, has ordered hostile actions to be taken against us, without any provocation from our side. In response to that, Council of Lords has voted in emergency session declaration of war against the Hive. It seems that our plans are not compatible with those of Chairman Yang.
Gaian Defense Forces have already taken defensive perimeter near border with Yang. I have been assured that we are capable to hold off and destroy entire invasion force if neccesary. However High Council is planning retaliatory actions against Yang this very minute, and we expect to punish Hive for his crimes against the Planet. His days of rapid expansion and growth are over. The retaliatory strike may not be today, or even tomorrow, but we shall strike back.
You will notice that much of our industrial capabilities are being redirected for war in days to come. While our Forces are strong, we will need more resources devoted to military for fullscale invasion of Hive motherland. This may sound as a disappointment to some, but our resources need to be spent on military. Our longterm plans need to be changed to suit current situation better.
I would just like to say one thing more - we are not fighting for our survival. We are not fighting for Gaian Union. We are fighting for Planet.
--end transmission- Lady Deirdre's Headquarters.--
General Hydrian speaks
Gaian Union has no need to be afraid of Hiverian invasion. Our forces have already taken defensive perimeters in fungus, at vital position near Hive border. When Hive decides to send invasion troops, our forces will emerge from fungus, outflank them and destroy, returning to fungus with no or minimal casulties. We in firm belief that we can repel any attack that Hive sends against us, including full scale invasion forces. Additionaly, any tech advantage Hive may have over us will be negated by our psi forces.
Invasion of Hive motherland will be a different story. With assistance of artillery, navy and ground forces, it will be a slow and steady push forward. We will need to eliminate enemy opposition and sensor network, and strive to cut off bases. One wonderful advantage that we have are our mindworm boils.
We are all familiar with the fact that Hive build their bases underground, making them very resilient to attacks. There is no doubt that Hive will try to use this fact against us, but this is where our mindworm boils step in. Since mindworms can breach virtually any possible defensive perimeter, they will have no trouble finding their way to the interior of Hive bases, completely negating their defense advantages. Additionally, Hiverian troops with their weapons will no match to our seasoned mindworms in psi combat. Death by mindworms is a painful death, but this is war.
Following that tactic, we expect to slowly take away Hive bases. Remember, we will be waging war on their grounds, and they will be forced to turn all their efforts to defense. Once the initial takeover of Hive bases is over, it will become a war of attrition. Our forces will then benefit from natural perimeter defenses of captured Hive bases, artillery (spore launchers) and guerilla strikes against incoming Hive reinforcements. Hive is expected to lose a great deal of it's army that way, preparing it for final stage of the war, thrust to the Hive itself. This stage shall require reinforcements from our bases, but shall finaly end Hive threat. With central base captured, army in ruins, and a good deal of a bases under our control, Hive will be forced to sue for peace to preserve whatever will be left from their empire, when that happens we will not care about Hive any longer. Their remains will not be a threat any more, and probably fall prey to attacks from other factions.
You must remember, that while this may sound simple, it will certainly be a long war. It will take decades to end, and will leave a mark on future of Gaian Union.
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Diplomatic overview
Gaian Union does not require help against Yang from other factions, although we are ready to cooperate against him if that lunatic goes to war against them.
As you know PLO has declared neutrality in all conflicts on planet, and Angels do not have official statement yet. Other factions are too far or unknown to us.
We are aware that we are fighting the most powerful faction on Planet, but not everything is in size. This is a chance for us to emerge as a world power, and get the Planet rid of that monster that calls himself Yang.
The good thing is, that we will make official contact with the rest of factions on Planet.
Do we still walk with Planet?
Chief Planetary Ecologist, RedFred:
Unless Chairman Yang resorts to Biochemical weapons, we believe that this war actually help maintaing delicate balance with Planet. By defeating Yang, we will actually reduce the worldwide level of ecodamage.
Xenobiologist Lapantalones: We are aware that this conflict shall cause greater disturbance of fungal networks than usual, since we are going to use them for both attacks and defense, but we shall prevent further eradication of fungus by the hands of Hive.
Base Governor Xin Kim Ling: I am worried for longterm future of Gaian Union. most of our longterm projects have been cancelled. Many of them involved bonding with Planet. Now we are turning into a military force. Is stomping on Yang walking with Planet.
What do the common Gaians think?
'I am against the war! We are artisans, not warriors! We should try to seek peaceful coexistence.'
'We shall show this Hive bastards! They will se what mindburrowing worms are! Glory Gaia!'
'I am not into these big politic things. I just want to study Planet's biosphere.'
'We must fight back if we are being attacked.'
'I am going to join the army right now. I'll show those brainwashed Hiverians.'
'Why can't we all just get along?'
'I do not want to join the army but I wish we win the war.'
Entertainment!
What is the difference between Roman Empire and Hive?
Hive hasn't fallen... yet.
How do you stop a Hive tank?
Shoot the guy pushing the cardboard.
How do Hiverians catch fish?
They catch one and then beat it until it tells them where others are
If you both Chairman Yang and Cha Dawn were drowning and you could save one of them, would you sit and watch or go get some snacks?
Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, binTravkin
No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this special edition. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope and hive agression and shall be remembered forever.
Gaia'sLanding.2127->MY2137-DDTR-45-01XC5.eg10f.
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Yes, yes, I know, we probably should not reveal this to public, but I can't resist making a special edition anyway. 
Last edited by Illuminatus on 17-09-2004 at 22:14
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Natalinasmpf
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Should we consult the Angels about this?
Not seriously, but to see their stance about it: ie. since they're pro-democracy and all, and although they might not openly declare war, subtly condemn Yang, etc.
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:16
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 The day is coming, children of Gaia. |
In this issue:
*Grant asylum?
*How to solve problems with Cult of Planet?
*Cult of Planet receiving outside help?
*Learning with Planet
*Literary section
*Other news in brief
*Advertisement
*Contest
*Hagar the Gaian
Cult of Planet receiving outside help?
There are growing suspicions that Cult of Planet is being secretly funded by outside sources. This is one of explanations how did they manage to cause so much trouble in last few years. Is outside power undermining stability of the Union? As strange as it seems, since Cha Dawn has expressed hostility to every outside faction, it may be a reality.
Several early statements from Angel Infotrader GeoModder initially supplied the doubt that Data Angels might be funding Cult, but this was soon disapproved as GAIA determined that Angels are not funding Cult, not having even capability to do so. Angels did express political support in initial efforts of Cult, offering them a place for renegades, but they seem to have withdrawn it after Cult declined their support, calling them 'filth that needs to be purged with the rest of mankind'.
Other option is, that Chairman Yang is funding Cha Dawn in order to weaken Union for Hiverian invasion. This is also unlikely, because of already mentioned reasons, but Cult may be desparate enough to temporary accept outiside help. Yang, does have the capability to do so.
Third option is that yet unmet power, but whose existence has been proven, is funding Cult for their nefarious schemes, which involve weaking Union through internal unrest.
All scenarios seem unlikely, but we must carefuly consider them. What if Cult is just a pawn in greater plans? We must be prepared for this possibility. This is a troublesome time indeed.
Learning with Planet
The most feared creature on Planet is a small, snakelike animal which rarely grows more than 6 inches in length. As individuals, the mind worms are unimpressive, but in mass they are one of Planet's greatest scourges.
Variant forms of the mind worm exist. Aquatic and flying mind worms have been documented. Both forms or "vectors" are otherwise identical to the land-based mind worm.
For most of its life cycle, the mind worm lives a solitary, almost dormant existence in the interstices of Planet's fungal mats. There it exists as a symbiont, performing several functions to keep the fungus healthy while feeding on selected fungal stalks. From time to time, however, the mind worms congregate into a larval mass as the result of some biochemical trigger (or psionic signal) released by the xenofungus. As the larval mass grows, it can become a full-fledged boil, moving out of the fungus zones into regions inhabited by humans. There the mind worms become a terrifying plague, attacking any Earth-born thing they sense. Their physical attack is vicious but rather trivial, overshadowed by their capacity for psionic assault.
Mind worms have razor-sharp mandibles which can inflict a vicious grinding bite. Given time they can gnaw through just about anything, although they can instinctively find weak points in armor or other materials. They have a particular affinity for the neural tissue of animals, and will seek out such tissue when attacking. Human victims face a horrific fate, as the mind worms burrow through the eye sockets or other openings in the skull. Mind worms which penetrate a braincase will implant egg sacs in the protein-rich tissue, instantly killing the victim.
Particularly dense mind-worm boils are perfectly capable of covering a human victim, bringing some of their number into position to burrow into his braincase even if he is resisting. In most cases, however, the mind worm needs an unprotected and helpless victim before it can finish its attack. Mind worm boils reduce their targets to such a state using a psionic attack (p. 00). Victims see nightmare visions of torture and suffering, and are effectively unable to resist as the mind worms move in for the kill. Only the most disciplined (or psi-talented) troops can hold the mind worm boil off long enough to bring flame guns or other weapons into use.
An adult mind worm normally lives for only a month outside the symbiotic protection of its xenofungus field. Their boil phase is actually the climax of their reproductive cycle, the time when they seek out fertile ground in which to implant their eggs. Mind worms reproduce sexually but are hermaphroditic, and can even impregnate themselves in hostile conditions. Mind worms exhibit very little genetic diversity; one worm is virtually identical to any other, anywhere on Planet.
When a mind worm boil is destroyed by violence, its slayers reap an unexpected reward. Some members of a boil (possibly the same ones which play a coordinating role in its psionic attack) build up rare elements and exotic organic compounds in their bodies. When these mind worms are killed, they leave behind husks which can be "mined" for useful materials. These husks are informally called planetpearls by the human colonists, and are highly prized.
Mind worms are not restricted to the land. An aquatic variety lives in Planet's oceans, symbiotic on the sea fungus just as the land-based variety lives within the continental fungus zones. Aquatic mind worms are the same species as the land-based variety, the variations in form and life cycle apparently governed by a different subset of their common genetic basis. Aquatic boils are called isles of the deep. The boil's biochemical processes generate gases for buoyancy, allowing the boil to float on the surface. There, the isle is quite capable of seeking out food sources such as ships and sea colonies. Isles of the deep which approach the coastline have been known to spawn boils of the land-based vector, which break away from the parent mass and proceed to hunt on land.
The third vector of the mind worm is the airborne locusts of Chiron. On rare occasions, a pre-boil mass of mind worms undergoes a radical physical transformation, its individual members growing wings and taking to the air. Locusts of Chiron are fast-moving and particularly vicious, and normally appear only during periods of intense mind-worm activity.
Grant asylum?
Foreman Domai, a wanted Hive criminal, noted for leading several drone riots, has requested asylum in Gaian Union. Not only it would enrage Chairman Yang of the Hive, it would bring substantial danger to the Union itself. Lady Araella claims that Foreman Domai might try to spread his radical teachings among drone population and/or force his beliefs on Council. "The Gaian Union should refuse this, despite our peaceloving and helping qualities. Domai should look somewhere else, perhaps in Lal's faction, or among anarchists."
Lord Tetric claims that one of our duties is helping those in need, even if it means helping a troublemaker like Domai. "We are a democracy. I know that stance like this has led us to trouble with Cult, but this is simply the price we have to pay."
Lord Net Warrior says that our constitution is based on preservation of environment and that we should carefully examine consequences of all possible decisions. "We must choose the decision that is best for Planet. Other details are insignificant."
We did not manage to get Lady Deirdre for a comment, since she is doing research on splicing genes. Council of Lords will meet tommorow to discuss this situation.
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How to solve problems with Cult of Planet?
We have witnessed a wave of unrest during last several years. Members of Planet Cult are instigating civil unrest across the Union. Since their sound defeat at elections of 2131., Prophet Cha Dawn has declared that they do not longer wish to lead the Gaian Union, but to secede from Gaian Union and pursue their goals indenpendently. Fallow Tragedy which happened in 2134. was spurred by Cult of Planet in their attempt to secede the base from Union and rename it Dawn of Planet, in attempt to create their own faction. Over three hundred dead and nearly eight hundred wounded were the result of failed civil unrests. Public was shocked with this events, and Cult of Planet was banned again, and their remaining representatives removed from the Council. Since then, Cult of Planet has continued to operate undercover, supporting unrest among drones, conducting sabotage actions against terrain improvements, and even trying to obtain a mindworm or two for their uses (we learned this as a result of investigation of Seraphin accident).
High Council has said before that they won't bow to terrorist demands, even after Fallow Tragedy. Question is, how will we stop attacks? Repeated police actions have failed to stop Planet Cult, although they decreased their numbers and resources significantly. Should we allow them to continue their terrorist actions or give them what they want? Although Planet Cult wishes to secede with a number of bases from the Union, none of bases has shown overwhelming support for Planet Cult - and with increasing terrorist actions from Planet Cult initial support for them has dwindled. Lady Deirdre has recently announced a new initiative that should solve Cult Problem and will preserve the integrity of the Union. Details about the initiative are unknown, but will be presented soon to the public. Public sure wants to know how the problem will be solved.
Quote of the Day
The grand show is eternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapor is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls
-John Muir
Entertainment
A large group of Hiverian soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a hill. "One Spartan soldier is better than ten Hiverians". The Hive commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers to the hill whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out "One Spartan is better than one hundred Hiverians". Furious, the Hive commander sends his next best 100 troops to the hill and instantly a huge gunfight commences, impact and laser weapons firing, soldiers screaming, explosions rocking the area... After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Spartan voice calls out again "One Spartan is better than one thousand Hiverians". The enraged Hive commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them to the hill. Detonations, shredders and impact gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Eventually one wounded Hiverian crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them."
Outtakes from conversation with Planet: (These do not actually depict true conversations with Planet but are merely a humorous representations of such and should not be taken as real ones.)
Planetvoice: Why did the earthmorgans cross the road?
Lady Deirdre: I don't know. Why Voice?
Planetvoice: To run away from mindworms.
Lady Deirdre: That was pretty lame.
Planetvoice: Better we recall our mindworms then.
Lady Deirdre: You did that for real? Wait Voice, you can't just...
Planetvoice: [terminates link]
Planetvoice: Yo! [censored]ing earthdeirdre!
Lady Deirdre: What! How... what happened to you Voice?
Planetvoice: Wassup! We are from tha Gettho!
Lady Deirdre: Errr, yes, you are Voice.
Planetvoice: Haha, new human skill learn we. Acting learn we. How do you like it, earthdeirdre
Lady Deirdre: Yes, excellent, Voice. It is so good that you do not need to do it again. How about making some poetry?
Literary section
Book Recommendations:
The Fungus Speaks by Olga Popavitch - Mystical
The Danger of Sniffing Spores by Georgiana Brown - Self-Help/Informative
Lady Deirdre and Her Secrets: The Unauthorized Biography by Unknown -Young Adult/Biography
The Fungus in Her Bed by Markos Riveria - Romance
Blood in the Fungus by Doyles Conan - Mystery
Jinny and the Fungal Tower by Peter William - Children's
The Monolith Lives by Fredrick Marpohl - Science Fiction
The Spartans are Coming! by Lars Bondonson - Action/Techno
Mindmages by Ian MacDonald - Fantasy
Other news in brief
*Angel faction reported to be 'quite zombie' according to their own words. Divine interventions suspected.
*GDN Dauntless expedition head into unknown reaches of the Great Ocean: mission classified for public.
*Terrorist leader Cha Dawn doesn't age - rumours tell.
*Voice of the Planet staff celebrates their success; rumours tell that a redesign of the newspaper is at hand in future.
*Man claims to see unidentified ships at sea, bearing pirate flag. Report dismissed as hallucination.
*Dangerous virus spreads through Planetary Networks - causes misspelllings. Download latest patch to fix that at www.gaia.ga/service/downloads/security_patches/ Beware, the virus is polymorphic and adapts and spreads fast!
*Relations with Yang strained.
*Silence spreads through Union; cause unknown.
*Lady Natalinasmpf proposes building of Anti Planet Buster Defense shield, proposal rated as 'too expensive'. Budget of infinite crawlers for the project deemed as too expensive.
Advertisement
If you see suspicious looking people, acting strange, talking with Drones or inspecting public buildings, please report it to the nearest police unit. They may be Cult terrorists or spies from other factions. Act responsible today!
'Empath Guild is your mother, Empath Guild is your father.' - three decades of Empath Guild establishment celebrated.
Cacupuncture is now available in three other factions - why don't you try it now? Cacupuncture Inc. - the only global interfactional company of Gaian Union. 7 out of 10 Gaians claim they've felt better after trying it.
Xenoxenoxenodoughnuts a hit, statistics show. Meanwhile Lord Octavian's waist line increases dramaticaly.
Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus, Ouro_827 with material from Jon F. Zeigler
No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever.
No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles.
Be prepared for special issues in the future! Gaia'sLanding MY 2138->567ght-fhj84.45367.tr87f.
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Hagar the Gaian*
in episode: Activity
*Hagar the Gaian is not in any way stealing or copying the original Hagar the Horrible. All rights are reserved to author of Hagar the Horrible, Chris Browne. This comic uses graphics of the comic with the respect towards the author and comic, and does not intend to claim any of the rights reserved for author. We do nto not intend to disgrace the author and the character in any way, and if author requests, comic shall be removed. We appreciate the talent of the author and quality of the comic. |
Last edited by Illuminatus on 26-09-2004 at 18:46
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:16
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(In work)
 Secrets of Progenitors revealed! |
In this issue:
*Breakthrough in understanding of Planet
*Alien race - Progenitors
*Alien Artifacts - what are they?
*Monolith secrets revealed
*Caretakers
*Usurpers
*Estimation of Progenitors
Breakthrough in understanding of Planet
In over four decades we have spent on Chiron, we have found numerous evidence of previous habitation by intelligent species. Monoliths, alien artifacts, battle ogres and even strange landmarks are all monuments to this ancient civilisation of alien beings. Having withstood the test of time, even after millions upon milions of years, we and other factions have stumbled upon this reminders of Planet's mysterious past.
Having studied strange marks on several alien artifacts and monoliths for decades, Lordship of Progress has learned a great deal about race that created them, and some of discoveries are truly shocking and lead to understanding of their culture!
Alien race - Progenitors
Reconstructed from alien artifact and monolith data:
Long before first ancestors of homo sapiens even walked the Earth, there was a race of wastly advanced lifeforms that traveled across universe - we shall refer to them as Progenitors. It is reasonable to believe that progenitor race, in some form, is existing even today.
The Progenitor civilization is vast, extending across much of the galaxy. It is also very old, stretching back at least ten million years (and evidence shows that it maybe stretching hundreds of millions years back). Long ago the Progenitors attained a level of technological mastery that can only be considered godlike. They controlled time and space, studied the destiny of the entire universe, and rebuilt entire worlds in the course of complex scientific experiments.
Sadly, the Progenitors could not maintain their civilization at its height. For millions of years they stagnated, undergoing no significant cultural or technological change. Then their society was torn apart by civil war. The cause of the war is unclear to human observers, especially from the data we managed to obtain, but the central issue of contention seems to have been what the Progenitors should do with their vast technology and resources.
The majority faction, tagged the Manifold Caretakers by human xenologists, wished to conserve their society's condition, continuing to live indefinitely without further advance. The rebel faction, the Manifold Usurpers, wished to make a daring leap into true godhood. The Usurpers believed that they were on the verge of being able to transcend space-time itself. They insisted on pursuing this transformation, even if it meant the wholesale looting of their civilization's vast resources and possible fatal consequences for entire galaxies.
The war lasted for centuries and millenias. It was devastating, wrecking dozens of worlds and costing the lives of trillions of sentient beings. The Progenitors lost much of their old wisdom and technology in the course of the struggle, leaving both sides sadly diminished from their days of glory.
It is not known if the war wages to this very day, but data seems to show that majority of Progenitor civilisation has been destroyed in the conflict, and xenologists believe that ferocity of the conflict evident in data shows that factions will probably wage war until mutual annihilation. Their numerous artifacts and vast empire may ensure that true annihilation of one side is never possible, since data seems to show that the factions brought each other to brink of destruction numerous times, yet they would always rebuild themselves. However, even small group of survivors, regardless of faction they belong to, could be dangerous for humanity, if they happen to ran into us.
Monolith secrets revealed
Here and there about Planet, we find monoliths standing alone in the wilderness. Each monolith is a four-sided obelisk, just under 40 feet in height, surrounded by a low circular wall with a single gap for easy access. Wall and obelisk are both apparently made of stone and covered with carvings in the Progenitor language. Surprisingly, these "stone" artifacts are millions of years old, and had somehow avoided damage due to weathering or earthquake throughout that time.
At first we assumed that the monoliths were simple markers or religious totems. We soon found out that people and machinery which lingered in the vicinity of a monolith were somehow improved. Machinery which had been damaged was repaired. Undamaged machinery sometimes began working with greater efficiency or effect. Even our fellow colonists who spent a few days within a monolith's wall found themselves stronger, healthier, thinking more clearly and with greater force of will. After decades of study, we built theories about nanotechnology that improves machines and people, and maintains monoliths. However, the data shows that the mechanism for these effects is something roughly called 'local manipulation of probability fields'. Our physicists have done extensive research on that particular stream of data and they have came to conclusion that it is actually a highly advanced technology, based on manipulation of various space-time continuums. Visitors are actually being "overwritten" by their healthier or more successful counterparts from an alternate universe(s). The same mechanism seems to preserve monolith itself, through the ages. Although we have a theoretical basis for this mechanism, we are far from developing anything like this technology, or even fitting it with the rest of known theories. Unless we complete Theory of Everything, which is trying to be achieved for two centuries, we probably never will manage to fully grasp it. Even then, we will need substantial technological development to replicate such level of advanced technology.
What are manifolds?
The Progenitor concept translated into English as "manifold" is actually a very complex thing, tied into the aliens' entire conception of the universe.
To the Progenitors, the entire universe is a manifold, a single entity which presents itself to the sentient observer in an infinity of diverse manifestations. From quasars to quanta, the aliens believe that each layer of the universe's structure has its own unique properties, even its own kind of self-awareness.
Meanwhile, the Progenitors claim that the multi-layered structure of the universe is a clue to the nature of reality itself. At the smallest scales of existence, one finds gateways into other worlds of experience, in a sense other universes. In this context, the English phrase "worlds within worlds" appears to translate precisely into Progenitor language. Thus the Progenitors use "manifold" also to mean not only this universe, but the complex of all possible universes.
Confusingly, the Progenitors also use "manifold" to refer specifically to Planet. Indeed, the aliens refer to Planet as "Manifold Six," and speak of five other Manifolds with specific locations elsewhere in the galaxy. In this context, the Progenitors may be referring to Planet as a vast artificial apparatus, an experiment in cosmic intelligence. The connotations of the term also seem to indicate that the Planet was either built or massively engineered by Progenitors.
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Xenobiologist's corner
We 've managed to reconstruct some data on progenitor appearance:
Progenitors are considerably taller and more massive than humans, and have superior physiques. Progenitors are physically tough, with armored carapaces and a physiology that can soak up probably much more damage than the human body. Data shows that they can breathe Planet's atmosphere easily, as they are tolerant towards both nitrogen and carbon dioxide. They are inidications of claws, and most likely, they have heavily geneticaly engineered their bodies to be more resilient. They mature about as quickly as humans, but can expect to live three times as long even without access to advanced medicine (from what we reconstructed). They have a special sense which allows them to detect and analyze magnetic (and some electric) fields at ranges of over a mile. Finally, they have superb spatial orientation and situational awareness.
Progenitors have poor vision compared to humans, and tend to rely on their superb "magnetic sense" instead. They are apparently not built for swimming and quickly drown in water over their heads. Progenitors seem to require large amounts of food, water and breathable air each day, consuming about twice what a human would. They run more slowly than humans. Humans find them to be incurious and inflexible. They have difficulty with creative or innovative thought, and often ignore new experiences. According to recordings, they despise any race other than their own.
An average male Progenitor ) stands about 7' 8" tall and masses about 300 pounds. Female Progenitors stand about 4" shorter and are 40 pounds less massive than males.
Alien Artifacts - what are they?
Alien artifacts are conical devices, perhaps a foot from base to tip, with about forty pounds mass. At the time of its previous visits to Planet, they were apparently the most common data-storage devices of the Progenitor civilization. Once we learned to read the artifact's contents, we've found that each contained many terabytes of data regarding Progenitor activities, most of it bewildering and impossible to interpret. However, in some cases there are legible diagrams and schematics for specific items of Progenitor technology. Such artifacts often lead to breakthroughs in human technological research. Their high-tech components can also be used to help in construction of huge projects or prototype devices. Data retrieved from them was also used to learn a great deal about Progenitors.
Caretakers
The Caretakers represent the majority faction within Progenitor civilization. They oppose any innovation or change in the aeons-old patterns of Progenitor culture. In particular, they forbid any exploitation of the scattered Manifold experiments set up by their ancestors.
Human observers have trouble understanding the nuances of Progenitor society. The Caretakers appear to live in a kind of theocratic state, although the focus of their reverence is not a deity or concept of the afterlife. Instead, the Caretakers revere their ancestors and the accomplishments of ancient Progenitor civilization. In the place of priests, they have counselors who are expert in history, genealogy, philosophy and ritual practice. Counselors have the task of helping their fellow citizens keep in line with the wishes of their ancestors. The Caretaker leader is apparently the most senior of these counselors, holding a position something like a cross between high priestess and prime minister.
The Caretakers have an elaborate code of ritual purity. This code appears designed to constantly remind individual Caretakers of their duties toward society and their ancestors. Every action is preceded by a small ritual observance, rather like a devout human praying briefly before a meal or bedtime. These rituals may be millions of years old, and are thoroughly imprinted on the Progenitor psyche. Indeed, the Caretakers have trouble recognizing beings who do not use them as sentient.
Usurpers
The Manifold Usurpers represent the other faction in the Progenitor civil war. Theirs was a rebel faction, bent on breaking free from the aeons-long stasis of Progenitor civilization. While the Caretakers fought to protect the Manifold experiments, the Usurpers demanded the right to exploit them. Their goal was participation in a "Planetary Flowering," a transformation which would grant them a kind of godhood.
The Usurpers are radical individualists, who believe that Progenitor civilization has failed to benefit its citizens as they deserve. They believe that every sentient being has a right to as much life, knowledge, wealth, power, or pleasure as he can seize from the universe. If civilization exists to restrain its most powerful members, then civilization is something to be rejected, or destroyed if need be.
The core value of Usurper society is questioning. The faction questions all received wisdom, demanding justification for the controls imposed upon Progenitors by their society. When a satisfactory answer fails to appear, they demand that the controls be abandoned, to allow the individual Progenitor to seek out his own destiny. This course is one that requires great courage within Progenitor society, where all such questioning has long since been bred out of the species. As a result, the Usurpers emphasize a warrior ethic, which pits the brave fighter against both physical and philosophical foes.
Of the two Progenitor factions, the Manifold Usurpers have an ideology and a lifestyle that is more recognizable to human beings. The Usurpers have thrown off many aspects of traditional Progenitor culture. They have no counselors to help them adhere to ancient traditions, and they ignore most of the ritualism that permeates Caretaker society. Instead, they act as independent beings, competing for power and status by any means that come to hand.
The central institution of Usurper society is the military. All Usurpers receive combat training, and can form a tenacious militia when needed. Full-time soldiers hold high status, with officers and senior veterans in almost all high-status positions. The military does not control every aspect of society, but a faction member will have grave difficulty pursuing his own economic or cultural goals without dealing with the military.
Estimation of Progenitors
We believe that Progenitors have survived, since the data we recovered indicates that their civilisation was so vast that it could hardly be completely destroyed. Indeed, this is the reason why the war lasted for countless millenias - Progenitors were simply so advanced that they could rebuild their civilisations from scratch, on countless worlds spread across the galaxy, using technology relics from previous generations to accelerate their growth. It is puzzling why progenitors did not visit Earth, since they are a spacefaring race for millions of years. Possible explanation is that galaxy is filled by life, and progenitors did not pay any attention to Earth due to their civil war and lack of inteligent life. In any case, if progenitors were to run into humanity, we would be in great peril, regardless of faction which finds us. Caretakers would probably want us to leave the Chiron , while Usurpers would eliminate us so they could have the Planet for themselves. With their superior technology, and ability to draw reinforcements, we would be badly outmatched. If both factions were to find us, we would find ourselves in midst of alien crossfire. Luckly, progenitors haven't discovered us, and they hopefully never will, or our future is at stake.
Authors of the Issue: Jon F. Zeigler's material, with additions by Illuminatus
No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever.
No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles.
Be prepared for more special issues in the future! Gaia's Landing MY 2141->567ght-fhj/*sdg4.ff5367.tr27f.
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Octavian X
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Probably buried under piles of Literature, Biology, or Government homework
Jan 2002
time: 23:16
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A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Gaian Union
Part Three - The Planet Parkway
Located near Lady Deirde's Planet-friendly mansion is the nerve of the Union itself - the roadway known as 'Planet Parkway.' The road itself runs is out of place in the capital of the Union - while the city is build along orderly, concentric circular roads, the Parkway runs in many directions all over the place, even once turning, looping, and crossing itself (where, most incidentally, traffic accidents are most likely to occur in the entire faction). This road follows what is said to be the first design idea of the original colonists - that all roads should follow the natural contour of Planet. This was, of course, dismissed as a very stupid idea, and many though that the head of the former team had had one too many xenobrews, but not before the Planet Parkway was built. The solution, when the 'more natural' circular roads were first built, was to simply to build over the Parkway. Though, even today, there are occasionally calls for the designers of the Parkway to be taken out into the street and shot.
While the streets of Gaia's Landing were built intetionally to encourage walking and public transportation, the Parkway was built for vehicles. The wide lanes are generally the only place you'll find individual cars moving about, most of them on official business from one part of the faction to another.
Planet Parkway is lined trees along it's entire length,which stretches to all of the factional bases, to make the manmade construction more environmentally friendly. And, since it was build by the formers to follow the natural contour of the land, the road is filled with curves. The longest straightway stretches 1km along the rather dull White Beach (which, ironically, is around 42km from any body of water).
The road is a very pleasant sight-seeing drive. Bus tours are generally available every day, and cars may the cheaply rented to allow one to drive himself. It is not recommended that one walk, though, since a great many areas of the roadway were constructed along xenofungus, where you might be ambushed by a rouge spore launche Or, as has been the case of a number of young students hiking near a mysterious monolith, you may be verbally insulted by a rather dishelved-looking Chairman Yang (he has been spotted several times in several areas, reported yelling as passers-by 'Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt of xenoelderberries').
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Ouro_827
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Alaska
Feb 2004
time: 20:16
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Book Recs..
The Blade of Chiron by Andrew Dotson - Action
The Way the Fungus Waves by Jean Stauski - Poetry
The Missing Mindworms by Jake Prator - Mystery
The Knights of Gaia by Roger Alazky - Fantasy
The Fungal Bed by Gary Brown - Romance
Why Did We Leave Earth? by Joseph Williams - Childen's
High at Gaian High by Lauren Stephenson - Young Adult
A Collection of Yang's Useful Hints published by Drone #4324 - Self-Help/Useless Progaganda
The Makers Return by Isaac Vomisa - Science Fiction
Small Article on Hive
More has been coming to light about the mysterious group under the direction of one who calls himself Chairman Yang. The group is referred to as the Human Hive. Their leader is, for those that were on the Unity mission, the Chief of Security. From what we have learned, he is essentially their dictator, allowing very little room for any concept of self. Nearly all the people in the society are referred to by an ID number. Shen-Ji Yang, their leader, seems to have a very warped sense of the world in general. While he is not percieved as a threat to the Gaian Republic, in our limited conversations with him, he has often been quite rude and taunted our leaders, saying that we wish to ruin him, and that we are crazy for dancing through the trees naked, a practice which has been determined by Gaian scientists as healthy and cleansing. Further research will be needed into this matter, at the time when Gaia brings its forces to bear, and examine the inner workings of the Human Hive.
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Illuminatus
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Salvaging Unity Fusion Core
Jul 2003
time: 06:16
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No longer in works.
| Merry Christmas and happy Giftsgiving day!! |
In this issue:
*Gaian Union celebrates 53rd Christmas from Planetfall!
*Giftsgiving day: how it came to be
*Santa Fungus?
*Some general notices
*Santa Fungus Email!
*Santa Fungus is coming to town
*Santa Fungus rides again!
Gaian Union celebrates 53rd Christmas from Planetfall!
Lord’s Believers, First Amalgamated Church and Syncretist Church tommorow celebrate Christmas. Christmas (literally, the Mass of Christ) is a traditional holiday in the Christian calendar, celebrated in most of the planet’s factions on December 25 (according to standard mission calendar), which celebrates the birth of Jesus. According to the Christian gospels, Jesus was born to Mary in Bethlehem (an Earth city), where she and her husband Joseph had travelled to register in the Roman census. Christ's birth, or nativity, was said by his followers to fulfill the prophecies of Judaism that a messiah would come, from the house of David, to redeem the world from original sin. Early Christians celebrated more the subsequent Epiphany, when the baby Jesus was visited by the Magi, and efforts to fix a date on which to celebrate his birth began some centuries later. The precise chronology of Jesus' birth and death as well as the historicity of Jesus are still debated, even on Chiron.
Christmas is the most economically significant holiday of the year, and it is also celebrated in many factions with small or nonexistant Christian populations, like in University. It should be noted that Giftsgiving day is popular in most of the factions, unlike Christmas. As far as we know, Human Hive is the only faction that openly forbids it’s celebration in accordance with it’s atheistic agenda. Due to Planetfall factional and even regional Christmas traditions are still rich and varied, despite the planetary networks. For example several factions indenpedently developed tradition of Giftsgiving day.
Sister Miriam Godwinson praised this day and sent a "message of peace and tolerance" to all factions. “Our Lord God wants us to leave in peace on His Promised World [Chiron, a.n.], and our duty is to send message of peace and tolerance to all. I call mister Yang to stop his hordes and allow religious freedoms, I call Spartans to halt the agression, I call University to stop wicked experiments. This day is to be cherished, and I hope that at least once a year, guns will go silent, suffering shall stop and people will remember that they can do something for each other.” Archibishop of Syncretist Church Karrein reminded us upon importance of Christmas message – “His [Jesus, a.n.] sacrifice must be remembered, since He has shown us the way to peace. We have failed to heed his message once, but we must not fail to heed his message second time – for He shall return to his flock and lead them to Earth Reborn.” Senior Aruva Kamahi told us that “Jesus was an important prophet, and his teachings are still a part of our scriptures. May we celebrate Christmas with our families and remember him and other valued prophets.”
Lady Deirdre is also expected to make a special Christmas speech tommorow at 12:00 GLT (Gaia's Landing Time).
Giftsgiving day: how it came to be
On Earth, Christmas grew over time to a holiday which main point was mostly forgotten. Under influence of capitalism, it became a holiday which main purpose is to stimulate economy through gift buying. Over time, Christmas became a stressful holiday as shopping frenzies took over once peaceful holiday. In 2011., by proclamation of the Pope, traditional Christmas was moved to 15th of December each year in response to its fading religious meaning. Affilation of Christmas with Santa Claus has now ended. In response to this, a new holiday, Giftsgiving day arose, supported by Coca-Cola and other industries. Many countries which celebrated Christmas purely for the secular gift giving occasion (Japan and many other Asian countries) supported this. Also, this was the time Pepsi launched its own holiday, Cooloween, with a new gift bringer - GranDaddy Cool, hoping to attract generation Y.
In 2032., Pope repealed this motion, as traditional Christmas waned compared to Giftsgiving Day. Santa Claus and Jesus were together again. However, economic catastrophes of that decade ensured that giftshopping frenzies were a thing of past, although giftgiving tradition continued. Giftsgiving day continue to be celebrated instead of Christmas in Asian countries and parts of Africa. Cooloween continued to be celebrated until Pepsi got new managment.
Gaian Union officialy celebrates Giftsgiving day and Christmas on the same day. With traditional Santa gone, religious leaders have no objection to celebration of Giftsgiving day parallel to Christmas. Howeveral several foreign dignitaries said that they will shoot anyone who violates their airspace with the exception of Morgans who said they'll sue him first.
Santa Fungus rides again!
Santa Fungus (also known under names Xeno Santa, Santa Claus 2.0 and Jerry), will deliver presents to children all over Gaian Union and most of factions tonight! Riding on his rover pulled by Locusts of Chiron he will bring presents to all good, ecoaware children and deliver mindworm eggs to bad children. Santa Fungus is expected to take off about this midnight from his secret base on South Pole and break all laws of physics and plausability by delivering tons of presents to kids around the planet.
Santa Fungus is delivering presents since MY 2102, after it was suddenly realised that Kriss Kringle was not part of Unity’s crew.
Santa Fungus?
Yes. Traditional Santa Claus is gone, however, new, ecofriendly Santa Fungus is around. Having a red-pinkish suit, beard and a bag full of gifts, there is not much difference from Earth's Santa Claus. However, Santa Fungus goes around a world in rover pulled by Locusts of Chiron. Unlike old Santa, Santa Fungus awards gifts to good and ecofriendly children. Also, instead of coal (which is almost impossible to find on this planet) he brings mindworm eggs to bad children. It should be noted, that unlike the story told to kids, children do not get real and dangerous mindworm eggs, but mindworms eggs with failed larvae which can regulary be found in xenofungus, so no one is in danger. However, the story tells that truly bad children will get a real mindworm egg with larvae. Initial objections about brutality of this Santa's methods quickly disappeared, as it became obvious that living on Planet quickly teaches children to be careful, although some relate this to almost inherent defiance to violence found in almost every Gaian. Santa Fungus tradition has spread or is spreading to other factions, but it does meet opposition because of the inherent ecological message it carries.
 
Santa Animals? Suggested Santa Fungus helpers since no Elves were carried from Earth
As Santa Fungus is replacement for Kriss Kringle, so are Santa animals replacements for Earth's elves (better known in 21st century name "vertically challenged" ). They work in Living Factory situated within Fortress of Solitude, producing toys and collecting foiled eggs.
Santa Fungus is known under a lot of other names, like Xeno Santa, Santa Claus 2.0, Jerry, StrongSant, Chris Craig etc.
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Some general notices
*If you see a flying rover pulled by 24 Locusts of Chiron do not shoot!
*Santa Fungus arrives at your home via ventilation system. However strange noises in the air ducts might be mindworms so be careful.
*Be careful when choosing mindworm eggs - ask local xenobiologists if larvae in there is normal or failed.
*When decorating Christmas tree, make sure you don't cut it down. Remember that old Earth tradition of cutting down the tree to decorate it in your home is no longer allowed. Instead decorate your own tree in the outskirts of base or rent a holographic replica.
*Be careful for spies that might use this occasion to infiltrate us
*If your presents aren't there, remember that Santa Fungus does not deliver all presents by himself. For instance, Santa Speedy delivers presents to Yang (actually he is still delivering the first one to him)
Santa Speedy, helper of Santa Fungus
*Do not listen to rumours, Santa Fungus does not actually eat Morganites so don't capture them, tie them and leave them near ventilation ducts.
*Santa Fungus does not gun down offenders, it is just a legendary song from earthshow Futurama
*Santa Fungus and his Fortress of Solitude on South Pole are not considered a faction
Santa Fungus email!
Letters taken from SantaFungus@org.ga:
Dear Santa, I wonder how you can breathe without a breathing mask. Timmy
I am Santa Fungus, the xenofungus likes me, so I can breathe nitrogen freely.
Yo Santa, YOU SUXXORZ! You braught my last year and laster year mindworm eggz. Your gifts are teh suxxorz. AnnaL-Pax
Improve your grammar skills, stop hacking Spartan government sites, don't throw trash to the ground level and don't bite you cat, Cosmo.
Santa, Santa, can I have the Green Gardener toy this year? And Horticulture Hulk? Please, please, please I recycle and I take care of our per spore launcher Spot. Michelle
I know what is best for you Michelle, trust my choice.
Dear comrade Santa, I have a suggestion for you. Why don't you put simbols of hammer and sickle on your hat? And rename yourself to Comrade Santa? Then you could reward children for their dedication to communism.
Yours sincerely, Tassadarania.
Comrade Tassadar, please stop this. This is 16th time you sent me email like this. Also, if you near South Pole again with Soviet Furbies again, we will shoot you again.
Dear Santy, please watch over my dad who is on the front. I don't want any presents for me, just take care of him. I want to see him so much didn't see me going to the xenozoo last month.
Xui Ha
Your father thinks of you too and knows you are a good little girl. I promise I will do my best to keep him safe. You just keep being a good girl.
Santa Fungus, how do you deliver all those presents in one night? My daddy says it is impossible. Anyway, I want a camel toy this year. Moggombi
Your father doesn't know that timespace continuum breaks when I start my tour around the world. I'll do my best for the toy.
Dear Santa, what do you think about our offer? You can earn a lot. MIBoD
Your offer sucks. I don't want to sell my Living Factory or allow myself to become a Morgan franchize. Once again no. And btw, you are all getting eggs this year again.
Dear Santa Fungus,
How can you type with your gloves on?
Sincerely,
Abdi LaRue
This is because I am awesome! However, if you ask me again, you'll get an egg this year.
Santa Fungus is coming to base
You better watch out,
you better not cry
better not pout
I’m telling you why.
Santa Fungus is coming to base.
He is checkin the ‘links
And checking it twice.
Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice.
Santa Fungus is coming to base.
He sees when you polute.
He knows when you’re.littering.
He knows if you’re eco’ware or not.
So walk with Planet for him!
You better watch out,
you better not cry
better not pout
I’m telling you why.
Santa Fungus is coming to base.
Polluters will get mindworm eggs.
Larvae shall hatch in their brains.
Screamin’ for mercy they’ll die
You better watch out, you better cry
Pout since harmed Planet you had.
You better watch out,
you better not cry
better not pout
I’m telling you why.
Santa Fungus is coming to base.
Kind children presents will get
Caus’ Santa Fungus likes them.
If you Walk’d with Planet had
You better watch out, you better not cry
Caus’ presents you’ll get.
You better watch out,
you better not cry
better not pout
I’m telling you why.
Santa Fungus is coming to base.
Authors of the Issue: Illuminatus
No native lifeforms have been harmed in making of this newspaper. No Earth plants or animals have been harmed in making of this newspaper, although victims of colony pod Hope shall be remembered forever.
No Gaian life has been harmed, most of staff is still running naked through the trees (what stamina) and has not yet met the punishment for not submiting promised articles.
Perhaps there will be more special issues in the future! Gaia's Landing MY 2153->57g4566ht-fhzj/*sdg4.hf55487.tr27f.
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Last edited by Illuminatus on 24-12-2004 at 19:31
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murielwasser
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I'll get started on some anti-Hive propaganda ("Human and Xenological Rights Report Released".)
What's the policy regarding tech clues? Work everything in, or avoid mentioning any new technologies, or sneak in innuendo that we have techs we really don't?
UPDATE: let me know if this is up to your journalistic standards.
Human and Xenological Rights Report Released
The Institute for Contemporary Anthropology, located at Gaia’s Landing, has released its first annual “Report on Human and Xenological Rights.” Premier researchers, human rights advocates, xenoform rights advocates, certain foreign policy experts (working well within the limitations of their profession), and defectors from other factions participated in the landmark study. Unsurprisingly, marks for human rights were mixed, but all factions studied except for the Gaian Union received disappointing reviews for xeno-rights. The Data Angels were the “most humane” faction on Planet after the GU.
“There’s a tendency in [Data Angel] culture towards Cartesian dualism and disconnect from nature, and it’s a commonplace of Gaian society that that leads inevitably towards a rapine attitude towards nature. But while there is significant room for improvement in government policies regarding Chiron’s splendorous Web of Life, economic policies in general are more focused on knowledge growth than industrial slag, slag, slag,” said Dgambe Thbako, a senior fellow at the Institute.
Thbako says that although the DA and GU are similar in their high marks in human rights, they have different areas of improvement. “Angelic” culture successfully recognizes the rights of individuals but has yet to recognize the rights of communities to their philosophically proper extent. “The Union, on the other hand, has found a really perfect philosophical framework that recognizes both individual and community rights to their fullest extent realizable, given security conditions,” he says. What prevent the faction from realizing perfect marks were the “perhaps necessary” precautions taken over the course of the “Cult of Planet” debacle.
But there is one faction which received a perfect “Abysmal” in all twenty categories surveyed, from Artistic License to Zoogeographical Autonomy. That faction was the Human Hive, and the faint of heart need not read further.
The Human Hive has not had success in widespread capture of mindworm populations, due to a seeming conception among the research community therein, if it can be called such, that Planetary bio-networks are insufficiently developed for treatment of Chiron to affect the disposition of boils. But that has not lead to horrible attempts. Drones and mindworms are often packed in brutally-named “Human-Planet Friendship Chambers” to inevitable psychic combat. The purpose of the program is allegedly eugenic.
Foreigners searching for violations of human rights in the Gaian Union often point to the Family Laws that, in addition to ensuring a caring upbringing to every child, are so necessary to maintaining balance with nature. But such criticism is callous in light of the Hive’s definition of “reproductive freedom.” Females are required to bear as many children as possible by fathers assigned by the government. The chemical BU-Q38 - which as every Gaian secondary-school student knows, was a notorious old-Earth chemical unscrupulously pumped into cows – has been found in the “consumption pastes” of the Hive at levels that would be criminally toxic even in Terrapeso [Morgania]. There is no official reason given to or even acknowledgement of this, but only one conclusion is possible: the Hive is attempting to catalyze the reproductive age of its citizens. Foreign-policy experts say this disturbing strategy has a nickname among the Hive nomenklatura: “pop-boom.” Though obviously onomatopoetic, the fuller meaning of this term is unclear.
“Now the econometric data regarding death-in-childbirth makes a lot more sense,” said Danny Uribe, Proffessor of Medicinal Economics at Fallow Times University. “This is unconscionable.”
Union defense forces were not surprised. “These [horrible] [members of the Hive military], I seen them settin’ fire to fungus for no reason, and I seen kids musta been not fourteen in their ranks. Heard they practice decimation,” said Corporal Dick Daxton, stationed at a currently-classified locale.
“This is all the lies of a perspicacious and ill-willing drone. A perspicacious and ill-willing drone by the name of Domai,” opined the Hive Foreign Office when queried.
Last edited by murielwasser on 03-02-2005 at 08:12
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09-08-2004 13:02
I believe that I am running out of ideas, and I still have article to finish.
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