07-04-2005 20:36									#1
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I am twenty-one freaking years old, and just asked a girl out and got a yes for the first time in my life. Yes, that's sad, but it's a personal triumph! And she's fairly cute, and intelligent, and has a great sense of humor.

I'm still sort of in shock, TBH. I'm broke, but so is she, so we have agreed on a sort of pathetic hobo's date at the dining hall tonight. It's a start, dagnabit. Right?

Wow. That was actually remarkably easy. You just have to find a girl who's worth knowing, will have you, and isn't spoken for. That there is the hard part.

Whee. Okay, I guess that's it from me. Carry on.

	07-04-2005 20:43									#2
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good **** man. now remember to wrap your willy before the ole in out, in out.

	07-04-2005 20:54									#4
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Turns out the only girl from my workplace that's worth knowing does indeed have a boyfriend. He's like her 40 year-old driving instructor. Damnit, I thought I'd found a girl with those two glorious qualities: beauty and low self esteem.

	07-04-2005 20:59									#5
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Good show . . . getting the confidence to ask is usually the hardest part . . . since once you start asking and get a few acceptances under your belt, it doesn;t seem like a problem.

I was painfully shy in my teens when it came to girls ( but still managed a few dates) -- Finallly I just basically said to hell with it and asked anyone I liked. Rejection was pretty uncommon. There were lots of girls I only dated once but most will give you at least a one date tryout if you approach them somewhat normally.

Don't sweat the lack of funds. If she likes you its irrelevant and if you needed money to get her, she's not worth your time.

	07-04-2005 21:02									#6
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quote: Wow. That was actually remarkably easy. You just have to find a girl who's worth knowing, will have you, and isn't spoken for. That there is the hard part.

I am sorry if it's blindingly obvious, but... DUH.

	07-04-2005 21:20									#7
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Yes, this is good news! Well, I assume you haven't asked girls out before a lot. They say yes fairly often, if you just ask. Remember the 50/50 rule. It's going to be yes or no. 50/50. Take your chances. If it's a no, hey, it was 50/50.. you can't win them all. The fear of rejection and personal humiliation doing it is a big obstacle for many needy men. You see, you just got to go with it. Not get upset about it. It's all math anyway. The more you ask, chances of someone saying yes ALWAYS increases. Every time, bigger chance. THat's just a fact right there. SO go.. serial ask girls out. Then again, in some cases there's always no . But then again, those dudes are RARE and mostly very, very sad individuals.

	07-04-2005 21:29									#8
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Good job man. You know if you ask more women out you'd likely get more yes anwsers. Or at least more then not asking would get you.

	07-04-2005 21:43									#9
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quote: Originally posted by Oerdin Good job man. You know if you ask more women out you'd likely get more yes anwsers. Or at least more then not asking would get you.

The probabilities are blindingly obvious but the reality is that lots of folks that are great at math never realize that your batting average is always zero if you never take a swing.


Pekka-- the guys who get "no" a lot usually fall in one or more of these groups

1. Going for the unattainable-- If jessica Sportslover only dates the football team then your chances are low unless you are on that team

2. Appearing too desparate/needy--

3. The truly butt ugly/creepy -- but even these folks date-- just accept that you will not be dating the prom queen in all liklihood

4. being an ass-- Guys who are so busy trying to look "cool' that they look like an ass. I've been amazed how a simple approach usually works.

	07-04-2005 22:02									#10
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Indeed. Why do you think I went for Denise?

Although I think I did too good a job at raising her self-esteem. :

	07-04-2005 22:15									#11
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quote: Originally posted by Flubber 1. Going for the unattainable-- If jessica Sportslover only dates the football team then your chances are low unless you are on that team

i find this one rampant among my more nerdy friends who talk **** about girls based on looks but at the same time have never even been laid once in their life. It strikes me as odd that these intellectual elite are also the most shallow, chauvinist *******s ive met.

They think that because they are very intelligent and academicly successful they automaticly are babe magnets and shouldnt settle for less than the top 10% of girls. what they dont realize is that academics and intelligence are not charisma and that there is an intangible that keeps them from getting girls.

	07-04-2005 22:25									#12
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I think it's more likely just showboating. They probably realize that they're virginal geeks, but compensate by saying that they'd only go for the drop dead gorgeous girls. In reality, they'd probably go for just about anyone that showed some interest in them.

	07-04-2005 22:27									#13
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quote: But then again, those dudes are RARE and mostly very, very sad individuals.

I am on my way to finland to kick your ass.

	07-04-2005 22:32									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Kontiki I think it's more likely just showboating. They probably realize that they're virginal geeks, but compensate by saying that they'd only go for the drop dead gorgeous girls. In reality, they'd probably go for just about anyone that showed some interest in them.

its stupid though and doesnt fool anyone. I really believe in their heart of hearts they believe that they deserve the beautiful girls. I know that one of my friends has had several opportunities to not be a virginal geek and he hasnt hopped on it because he doesnt think the girls are hot enough.

hell, i know i havent had sex with the most beautiful girls in the world but i think ive done alright by myself.

	07-04-2005 22:34									#15
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some aren't going just for sex

Jon Miller
(I know I am not, I am looking for Love and haven't found it yet)

	07-04-2005 22:37									#16
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i thought i found love twice. it turns out only one was really love and the other was overzealous lust.

the problem is jon, these guys are never going to jump on the ball. they arent developing the socializing skills needed to attract a partner for love. and if these guys really were after love, they wouldnt be so harsh on females.

	07-04-2005 22:40									#17
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I asked my wife out... she said no.

Now I have to stay home and cook her dinner. Well, she's getting left overs!

I am such a loser

	07-04-2005 22:40									#18
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quote: Originally posted by MRT144 its stupid though and doesnt fool anyone. I really believe in their heart of hearts they believe that they deserve the beautiful girls. I know that one of my friends has had several opportunities to not be a virginal geek and he hasnt hopped on it because he doesnt think the girls are hot enough.

THat a mistake if you like the girl and find her attractive at all. Hell not every girl someone dates has to be "the one". You can date people that you know aren't right but if the date can be fun, go for it. At worst its good practice.

Oh and some hot girls do date the bright guys but they tend to be the guys who are smart enough SOCIALLY to actually get them. Not everyone that is good academically is a geek.

	07-04-2005 22:49									#19
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exactly, but i think they are also waiting for "the one" because they arent settling for imperfection. its weak sauce. thats part of why i dated dacia, because she was fun in the sack and she was very attractive. looking back it wasnt so bad except for the herpes and the cheating. but ya know what i learned that i shouldnt fall for people so easily or trust them.

	07-04-2005 22:50									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Japher I asked my wife out... she said no. Now I have to stay home and cook her dinner. Well, she's getting left overs! I am such a loser

dude, you let this happen to yourself. its too late to change anything though, which hurts.

	07-04-2005 23:01									#21
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quote: Originally posted by MRT144 looking back it wasnt so bad except for the herpes and the cheating. .

Seriously, most people that don't date much shouldn't be looking for the "one" to start anyway. Its better to start dating your real target once you have some confidence in yourself

	07-04-2005 23:01									#22
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Beats the hell of out my standard modus operandi: staggering around drunk and hopeing for the best.

	07-04-2005 23:03									#23
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dude, boshko, you live in korea and are white. that should be footing enough!

	07-04-2005 23:44									#24
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Yeah, I was thinking about The One, but then I said screw it. Whoever she is, she's one of about 3 billion on the blasted planet, and even if I find her I don't need the pressure of going out on a date with my romantic destiny ostensibly hanging on the outcome. The One will show up whenever she wants to, God willing. In the meantime I'm sick of being alone. If this girl from my Archaeology class winds up being The One, great, we'll just improvise as we go along.

However, as I'm one of THOSE people (nods towards icon in the corner of the dorm room), and I won't be drinking, it's not really an issue of wrapping myself up. Thanks for the marvelously blunt advice though.

And yeah, I realize now that it was a stupid thing to say, Az, but looking back on what else I said around that time, that's nothing. I think I may have addressed her as "ma'am" when we said goodbye for some mad reason. I don't know why. She seemed a little nervous too though...at any rate, I'm comfortable enough in her company when the idea of romance is not in the picture that I feel more like laughing at the stupid crap I just said than feeling bad and beating myself up about it. Yay, I'm not a teenager.

What I'm not happy with is that I decided to ask her a few hours before a statistics test, so I entered the room at one today in about the same manic, scatterbrained state I posted that first post up there in. So yeeeeaahh, that's gonna be the one test I drop, I'm thinking. But the self-esteem boost was big enough that I'm still able to laugh about it, perhaps because I know I can drop that test if I did as horribly as I think I did.

	07-04-2005 23:45									#25
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You too eh Boshko? I hope it works better for you than it has for me!

	07-04-2005 23:45									#26
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quote: Originally posted by MRT144 looking back it wasnt so bad except for the herpes and the cheating.

I love that line too. Almost sig worthy.

	07-04-2005 23:47									#27
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Oh yes, and anyone who uses terms like "The One" should be forced to watch more Jet Li movies and less Ally McBeal.

	07-04-2005 23:48									#28
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i have a suggestion to make the night go more smoothly. 4 40s, 2 for you, 2 for her.

	07-04-2005 23:56									#29
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quote: Originally posted by Boshko Beats the hell of out my standard modus operandi: staggering around drunk and hopeing for the best.

Meh, I do that for fun. It never even occured to me to try and pick up women while I was at it. I am perfectly aware that I'm not at my most smooth while hammered. So, of course, I'm afraid I'll have to decline your second suggestion as well, MRT.

	08-04-2005 00:03									#30
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ok, one 40, shared by the both of you. it really relieves tension, and you can discuss your favorite beer for like 5 minutes.