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Pyrodrew
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The reverse is bad too. Not so attractive women or giant amazons seeking a relationship and flirting then when you don't show any interest back they turn from a friendly acquaintance into a vile succubus trying to make your work life hell.
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oedo
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and the revolution
Feb 2000
time: 05:34
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One of my favorite Beatles songs describes pretty well, how a friendship develops. I just had to post it:
I Want To Tell You
I want to tell you
My head is filled with things to say
When you’re here
All those words, they seem to slip away
When I get near you,
The games begin to drag me down
It’s all right
I’ll make you maybe next time around
But if I seem to act unkind
It’s only me, it’s not my mind
That is confusing things.
I want to tell you
I feel hung up but I don’t know why,
I don’t mind
I could wait forever, I’ve got time
Sometimes I wish I knew you well,
Then I could speak my mind and tell you
Maybe you’d understand
I want to tell you
I feel hung up but I don’t know why,
I don’t mind
I could wait forever, I’ve got time, I’ve got time, I’ve got time
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shawnmmcc
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Space - learn to cook (if you cannot) and do foot massage/back rubs. Ask her if she would like to come over for a dinner and watch a movie. Ask her to bring the DVD.
Now, don't go overboard on the atmosphere bit. Cook a good meal (do NOT cook something you have never tried, and ask her if she likes what you are cooking). Have her over, you might casually ask if she would mind candle light (good way to take the water temperature).
Nice dinner, let her do the talking. Then movie (in a CLEAN apartment). Depending on how the snuggling goes - you may not need the next. You may offer a backrub, or foot massage, etc. but make sure you are doing it well. For example while doing the foot massage you can kiss her toes, then inside the ankle, and then work your way up. If she stops it - well, she really does like foot massage. If it doesn't stop....
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chegitz guevara
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Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000
time: 00:34
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You missed the part about being considerate and polite at the same time as being confident and assertive.
You have to lose the fear and come out and tell her how you feel. Look into her eyes and say, "I'm really attracted to you, and what I want to do right now, more than anything else, is kiss you." She'll let you know very quickly whether she wants to be kissed by you or not. Unless she says no, move in for the kiss, but give her just a moment to process. A few seconds should be long enough, even if it seems like it's taking years.
If she says something about "just wanting to be friends" it's still good, because you won't be wasting future time trying to wait for her to "come around" and can move on.
Now, a good time or place to spring this on a person is when their heart is racing and they're already in a good mood or excited. They will associate this good feeling with you and what you are saying, and you may get in a kiss or two before they come to their senses, if they do.  Try telling her a few really good jokes after running to the top of a tall mountain or high building.
Last edited by chegitz guevara on 15-06-2005 at 20:08
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Bosh
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Taehan Mingook
Jan 1970
time: 00:34
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Well some people are saying that many relationships can come out of friendships, this is definately true but its not really something you can force or make happen. If it happens it happens, but to have a crush on someone who considers you a friend and constantly try to be nice to them while waiting for exactly the right moment for make a move, is a recipe for trustration and insanity, believe I've been there and I'm never never never going back.
quote:
The most important advice I can give you is confidence. Confidence is sexy. Women want a man, and to them, a man means someone who is confidenent and decisive. Too many "nice guys" equate being wishy-washy with being nice. Women don't want wimps. This is why so many women end up with total jerks, because for all their problems, they have confidence and authority. They are men. |
Definately. And this is definately the sort of thing you can change. One of my current friends acts almost exactly like I did four years ago and it almost makes me cringe sometimes so watch him (very nice guy, but there's no way in hell he's getting laid any time soon). But this can be a bit of a Catch 22 since its hard to get much sex without being confident, and its hard to be sexually confident without having much sexual experience.
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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:34
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quote:
Originally posted by oedo
Behave like a friend and you'll be a friend. Behave like a lover and you'll be a lover. Plain and simple.
Not a single time in my live I've been able to turn a friendship to a girl into a relationship. Not a single time in my life I've been able to turn a relationship into a friendship after we broke. |
Thats unfortunate. I have succeeded at both. Its not easy but it can happen
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chegitz guevara
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Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000
time: 00:34
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Remember, if you can't be sincere, fake it. Seriously, if you act confident, even if you are a chicken inside, the results will be the same as if you are confident. It can be faked. I stood down three thugs while I was sitting at a McDonalds with my back to the wall. I didn't flinch or cringe. I just looked and acted calm, as if I knew he wasn't gonna hit me. He didn't hit me.
One thing about putting on an act is that if you do it enough, it becomes second nature. I had to pretend to be a major jerk at one resteraunt where I worked. It was the theme. Problem was, after a few months, I was acting that way outside work without thinking about it. Samething will happen if you act confident.
The thing is, you have to accept that you're going to get shot down a few times. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:34
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quote:
Originally posted by chegitz guevara
The most important advice I can give you is confidence. Confidence is sexy. Women want a man, and to them, a man means someone who is confidenent and decisive. Too many "nice guys" equate being wishy-washy with being nice. Women don't want wimps. This is why so many women end up with total jerks, because for all their problems, they have confidence and authority. They are men.
You can't be the wait around guy if you want a woman. You have to be a take charge guy, make things happen, seize the day, etc. If you can be polite and considerate and decisive and confident, you will never lack for women. |
Good advice--
I went from a pretty dateless wonder to an abundance of dates in a short time when I got off my ass. I hadn't changed much except I decided that I was going to ask out any woman I found attractive and expect a positive response. The positive response rate was huge !!!! I went from dating 1-2 girls in a year to dating over 25 the next and it was all attitude.
I wonder space with these women that you get as "friends"-- have you ever put yourself out there and made a real with no ambiguity romantic style move or gesture ??
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15-06-2005 12:08
But, I normally stay away from office relationships.
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