11-08-2005 11:38									#31
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Thumbs up for Asher for trying to help him instead of cheap taking advantage of such a boy.
I think 95% of the heterosexuals would have done stuff with such a girl in the steamroom.

I think it's really hard to be gay, even in these days.
Eventhough being gay is more accepted in our days then it used to be in the past (not to mention in countries like mine) I think it's still hard to be gay.
I hope and I'm happy that there are a lot of gays who are happy with who they are.

Though I think that there are too much people who try to act as if being gay is totally normal.
I think it should be normal for other people. It's totally wrong to threat somebody different because (s)he 's gay. But for the people themselves it's quiet hard to find out that you won't be a family man with children and grandchildren and to be in a minority. (just to mention some things)

I think that the thing is that being gay is a part of ones identity. Being heterosexual is not a part of my identity. I never think: "I'm a hetro" just out of nothing.
If people bash hetero's I won't stand up and protect 'us'. There are no hetero café's or heterolympics.

I'm glad that there are people like Asher who try to help gays who've problems accepting their identity.

And about the christian girlfriend:
I'm a christian myself. I think the gay issue is a hard issue for christians. The bible does condemn homosexuality indeed. Though I think in the end it's something between God and the gay person. Like life in the end is something between God and every person self. Who are we to condemn other people?

Why would my heterosexual sins be less worse then gay sins? Christians should help their gay fellows like Asher does, instead of condemning them.

And: being a gay is most of the time a natural thing.
It does happen in nature. That doesn't make it better or worse. We live in this world with problems. And apparantly being gay is a problem for people like the on Asher talked about. It's not up to us, christians, to enlarge their problems. Neither do I think that it's up to us to act as if these problems aren't there.

	11-08-2005 12:30									#32
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Maybe he has different definition about what constitutes "gay" than you do. How do you define it?

	11-08-2005 12:34									#33
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did somebody fumigate the steam room after?

	11-08-2005 12:36									#34
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I think that sort of thing happens, straight OR gay ... trust me, there are plenty of depressed STRAIGHT people who offer to **** any random opposite-sex person who seems to be vaguely interested, for myriad reasons.

I also think there's just nothing you can do sometimes ...

	11-08-2005 12:46									#35
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quote: Originally posted by CyberShy Being heterosexual is not a part of my identity. I never think: "I'm a hetro" just out of nothing.

The hell it isn't. You may not sit around thinking about how you are straight, but being hetero is very much art of your identity. Every time you notice a pretty girl, your sexual identity is asserting itself. However, because it is "normal" you don't think anything of it. It's just the way things are. It's like how most white people don't sit around thinking about being white or men don't sit around thinking about being men.

We are the defined norm. We simply accept that what we are is the way things are supposed to be.

	11-08-2005 13:14									#36
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Dang. Weirdly similar to my experience last Thursday. I pulled a guy at a club and it wasn't until we got back to mine that he announced "I'm not gay...I just like to have fun."

He proceeded to look at porn, have half hearted sex, and snored. I kicked him out of my house after just under an hour.

Asher's like the good version of me. Or I'm the evil Asher.

	11-08-2005 13:19									#37
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quote: Originally posted by CyberShy Thumbs up for Asher for trying to help him instead of cheap taking advantage of such a boy. I think 95% of the heterosexuals would have done stuff with such a girl in the steamroom.

Wrong. I think when women ask men for a **** they get turned down more often than if they just "let it happen".


About the topic. I guess the guy is in Denial. Tell him that he have to go through Anger, Depression and Bargaining before he can reach Acceptance.
If he is religious then chances are high he will stay in between Anger and Denial and discover that if he makes life harder for other gays, he can forget about himself being gay.

	11-08-2005 13:21									#38
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quote: Originally posted by Starchild I'm the evil Asher.

Asher's already evil.

	11-08-2005 13:56									#39
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quote: Originally posted by snoopy369 I think that sort of thing happens, straight OR gay ... trust me, there are plenty of depressed STRAIGHT people who offer to **** any random opposite-sex person who seems to be vaguely interested, for myriad reasons. I also think there's just nothing you can do sometimes ...

speak for yourself

	11-08-2005 14:48									#40
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It sounds so weird but in repressed countries (here here) it happens almost daily. He´s young, and probably has no idea what he´s doing, and just try to imagine what kind of family he may have, if he has to invent such pathetic lies around himself

	11-08-2005 14:59									#41
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Yeah, sounds like he could be uncomfortable with his sexuality in the context of his friends/family...

	11-08-2005 15:38									#42
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quote: I just don't like another mans penis inside me, or on me. So.. I don't know.. that was a good night though, girls also came on to me. Now that I think about it.. boy and girls came on to me. Damn, I'm pretty damn good. And I initiated 0 of those come ons. Praise be mine.

Golden words! When will we ever see a picture of Pretty Pekka anyway?

	11-08-2005 17:02									#43
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This whole situation seems to part a growing trend that I've seen (not in person) that guys are convincing themselves that giving another man "hand release" or receiving fellatio doesn't make them gay or even bi. There's a whole lot of guys out there who are bi-curious and are in total denial of being even bisexual.

	11-08-2005 17:36									#44
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Asher's already evil.

Fine. I'm Uncaring Evil and he's a different type of evil.

I'd like to think I'm the Mint Chocolate Chip of Evil.

	11-08-2005 17:39									#45
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Maybe he was being polite.

	11-08-2005 18:15									#46
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I think I would beat the **** out of him for doing that in a public gym, gay or not.

I guess he thought you were a slut.

	11-08-2005 18:24									#47
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quote: Originally posted by Patroklos I think I would beat the **** out of him for doing that in a public gym, gay or not.

****ing right Pat. Violence is always the answer.

	11-08-2005 18:46									#48
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i think he was using gay by the definition of "happy", in which case, he was expressing dissatisfaction that you didn't wanna do whoopie with him.

Or he was a closet gay. I guess I'm not in a position to determine.

	11-08-2005 18:57									#49
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Asher's already evil.

Never confuse malice with incompetence.

	11-08-2005 18:58									#50
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homefrontradio | Whom are you calling gay? - Apparently, it's a common phenomenon.

Then again, the kid could be some variant of bi.:P

	11-08-2005 19:08									#51
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was it Fez?

	11-08-2005 19:17									#52
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quote: Thumbs up for Asher for trying to help him instead of cheap taking advantage of such a boy. I think 95% of the heterosexuals would have done stuff with such a girl in the steamroom.

That's coz we ain't limp-wristed poofters.

	11-08-2005 19:19									#53
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quote: ****ing right Pat. Violence is always the answer.

When sombody sits next to me in public and starts whacking off, your damn right it is.

	11-08-2005 19:57									#54
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quote: Originally posted by St Leo homefrontradio | Whom are you calling gay? - Apparently, it's a common phenomenon. Then again, the kid could be some variant of bi.:P

It's not the first time I've seen it first hand, back in jr. high I fooled around with one of my friends (his idea, surprisingly). He kept pushing the limit until he suggested going all the way, at which point I (surprisingly) declined because I wasn't ready for that.

At that point he stopped talking to me and eventually grew to hate me, and tried telling people I was gay (no one believed him, and he wouldn't go into details as that'd implicate himself). He was "totally straight".

A friend of mine hooked up with a guy online (from a site called gaycanada), with a guy who claimed he was 22 and a university student. Apparently he looked really young, but he was 31 with a wife and a 1-year old kid. My friend was wondering why he was so worried about being back home by midnight...

	11-08-2005 20:16									#55
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quote: Originally posted by Patroklos When sombody sits next to me in public and starts whacking off, your damn right it is.

You think that defense will hold up in court? Well, maybe in Texas, but then the jury would likely be fellow knuckle-draggers.

	11-08-2005 20:17									#56
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Attacking the nude.

	11-08-2005 20:39									#57
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Asher

Good for you in trying to help. The fact that you didn't fiddle with the kid (assuming he's attractive ) probably had more to do with staying faithful to your relationship that altruistic motives but good for you all the same.


As for orientation, I think its more a range/spectrum than people think and that there are all sorts of people that probably don't even know where they are.

A female friend of mine, who very much liked men and sex with men, is now in a relationship with a woman (who also had no prior homosexual relations). It was two "hetero" women that shared some interest and became friends. They spent more and more time together until they realized they were more than friends and then they progressed things in a romantic way.

My friend is now in love with this woman and they are thinking of getting married and starting a family. Is she "gay"? She says that she still finds more men attractive than she does women and IF her relationship were ever to end, she would probably be more likely to date men than women. At the same time, her expectation and feeling is that sh will be in this relationship "forever".


Oh and the guys that claim they are not gay . . . I think they try to make a distinction. As long as they are NOT pleasuring the other guy, then they are not "gay". Its a pretty artificial distiction but then again , most labels are.

I can remember when Asher always proclaimed himself as "bi"

	11-08-2005 20:46									#58
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov You think that defense will hold up in court? Well, maybe in Texas, but then the jury would likely be fellow knuckle-draggers.

You think it would go to court? The guy has a problem with his sexuality, there is no way the guy would take it to court and be exposed.

It's pretty sad that you feel the need to bash Texas in situations like these. I live in Texas and I could careless if somebody is gay. Mrs. T.'s best friend is gay.

If you want to bash Texas lawmakers, feel free. But stop calling everyone in Texas knuckle draggers, it just isn't true.

You demean Texas in general, but really you also demean yourself and any argument you make.

ACK!

	11-08-2005 20:50									#59
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quote: Originally posted by Flubber Oh and the guys that claim they are not gay . . . I think they try to make a distinction. As long as they are NOT pleasuring the other guy, then they are not "gay". Its a pretty artificial distiction but then again , most labels are. I can remember when Asher always proclaimed himself as "bi"

I think the distinction in many minds boils down to a matter of who dominates who. I think the idea is that if you are the power top/oral receiver, that's the dominant position and not gay.

	11-08-2005 20:50									#60
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And I reels 'em in.