12-01-2002 08:09									#1
	Life, what a sick joke Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

I'm doing this because of self-pity (why else?) yet, I loathe myself for it. I'll say right now I'm a whiny ***** and you shouldn't listen to me, but here it goes.

Life is a big kick in the balls.
Stupid ass elementary teachers tell you that if you're nice to everyone, good things happen. Be an individual, be unique.
If only they could see me now.
I've never gone on a date. All of my experiences in that dept. have sucked. I've asked girls out, and they politely decline. Once, I got a girl to go to some russian dancing music thing and she ends up bringing another guy, and eventually starts going out with a totally different guy. I've liked many ladies and wanted to ask them out and they either have a boyfriend (or fiance) or they make it pretty clear that I can't 'touch the hem of their garment'.

I've figured out that everything you're told as a child are just ideals which are impractical and false in the real world. Chicks dig guys who think they're from the inner city and wear their pants around their knees. Chicks hate anyone that is non-conformist unless they express that non-conformity in their clothes and looks. You can be a non-conformist, but only if you look like one. Well what if I look normal but act a little weird? As in geeky, strange, laughing at inappropriate times (I have a very ironic sense of humor), speaking my mind, telling people the blunt truth sometimes, being totally silent at times and being an extremely talkative person at other times. I hate all the pretentiousness in society. If it were up to me, everyone would wear a sign on their heads that printed exactly what we were thinking. No room for confusion and no way to have idiots be respected.

OK, now we move onto not having any friends, at least none that matter. In my senior year of High School all my friends left: most to college, but one to Austin, Texas because of his parents' divorce. So then I feel as depressed as ever and eventually get into serious trouble and 'through adversity become stronger'. Yeah, well it got me through High School. Then I went to College, the great melting pot of ideas. Sure everyone accepted me, unlike in High School where I was just a band nerd, but my roommate was a psycho freak. Now, I have a decent roommate and I still haven't made any good friends and whenever I go home from College I'm reminded how much of a ****ing moron I am that I can't get a date OR a friend.

I haven't even done any of the crazy stuff most people have. I've had a little champagne at a wedding and I had a coke and rum (which I drank in two hours). Me and some friends (when I had some) threw small pumpkins at mailboxes once (and hit two out of the whole batch). I got caught at a now out-of-business dept. store stealing (definitely my lowest point ever). That's it. There's the gritty details of my life, all the bad stuff I've ever done aside from lying to people or other minor things in my childhood.

I'm not a spiritual person, or none of this would be much of a problem because I would have something to believe in. Now, all I have is self-pity, books, music, games, and the Bears. And the only big Bears fans I know are online.

I don't even play music anymore, and even if I did I wouldn't be able to play live. There is nothing in the world like playing in front of a full crowd.

Don't you wish it all meant something?

All I want is to go on at least one date, have one true friend, and be able to say, "I've lived."
Right now all I can say is that, just like everyone else, "I'm dying."

	12-01-2002 08:23									#2
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Nothing wrong with having no social life, I quite enjoy it.

	12-01-2002 08:23									#3
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Its sad you pity yoruself like that.


Ya, I understand that high-school ****. When I got out I was depressed also. You spend years in that fake Social system, inside, you are a somebody. Once your graduate, you realize it was all a lie. The Drugs, the football team, your friends. All an illusion...cause they are never there when you need them.


As for women. I honestly havent had much trouble getting them. Maybe what you need is a makeover...or somthing. I dont quite get it, what the problem is there. Get there number, hook up later...etc have fun. Get to know them, so you can find ways to have fun with them.

Your not "Dying". There are millions of diseased, ravaged, crippled human beings on this planet who would kill to be in your shoes just a week or month. So you dont have it that bad.

	12-01-2002 08:26									#4
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When I said I'm dying it's the truth, just like you are. Every second you're alive, is one less second until you dies, ipso facto we're all dying. We can't stop dying because then we'd be immortal.

Oh, no drugs, no sports, just Symphonic, Marching and Jazz Band.

I also don't totally pity myself, I just get into moods where I see everyone having a good time, with friends and get jealous. Then the loathsome self-pity.

	12-01-2002 08:28									#5
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

well I haven't read a single word of what you wrote except the title but it immideatly brought to my mind a "proza" (a genre of theatrical play) where the one and only actor who carries on his shoulders the whole play says in one time in a resounding, bold voice and proud stature:

School IS arduous. Life IS arduous. (actually he uses a slang word for arduous which fits even better)

I don't know why, but his phrase, just that small phrase, the way he pronounces it and the stature he had when prnouncing it, has helped me de-guiltialize my self a great deal in a moment of my life when I really need it.

Theater is divine.

I have no idea why your title brought that very small and so meaningful phrase to my mind though...

	12-01-2002 08:32									#6
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quote: Originally posted by MacTBone When I said I'm dying it's the truth, just like you are. Every second you're alive, is one less second until you dies, ipso facto we're all dying. We can't stop dying because then we'd be immortal.

Ya.....Immortality is for after-life. This is why we have religon. You are on this earth to do good things, and that is the test. Make good with your time.....the clock is ticking! Dont waste another minute...for that is another minute lost like all the others.


I dont think about old age and death. It can happen anywhere, if your locked up in a basement your life or live normally...it can come for no reason. I honestly look forward to it. I live a good life, granted, but I dont want to hang around here forever. I want to see whats on the other-side in about 40-50 years. I really do

	12-01-2002 08:45									#7
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But really, you pretty much described me - the only difference is that I enjoy not being traped in the same social mess that everyone else is, I don't want to have a bunch of loser friends just so I can feel accepted, I don't want to get drunk or high to fit in, I don't want my happiness to depend on other people. And I most deffinately do not want to conform. I like being unique, and not just another face in the crowd, and I like acting as myself, not as how others want me to. (and don't think I'm just another 'non-conformist conformist' )

Granted, this is all typical behaviour from a human so I sometimes have to remind myself.




And yes, life is pretty pointless - and it is deffinately meaningless. We'll all be dead and forgotten in time - even this planet, galaxy, or even universe have the same fate.

	12-01-2002 08:48									#8
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Bravo......Well said Osweld. If I were a loner, you would of cheered me up right then and there :tearsmilie:


As for the forgetting thing. I dont believe that...our actions in someway or another (no matter how significant to you) will alter the futures of others.

Oh and theres that religous thing about the after life I wont mention

	12-01-2002 08:50									#9
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6 months of gloomy skies and a city with nothing in it will do that to you Mac. It's not your fault, you're just depressed because there is no sun reaching you and that will destroy most people if exposed to it for a long period of time. October through March is the worst, isn't it?

Get your degree and get the hell out of town to some place where there is either better weather or something to actually do. Until then, your feeling will pass when the sun comes back out.

I am 100% correct in this and no that ain't no joke.

Don't blame yourself for anything, son, it's not your fault.

Last edited by Ted Striker on 12-01-2002 at 09:04

	12-01-2002 09:10									#10
	Re: Life, what a sick joke Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

quote: Originally posted by MacTBone I'm doing this because of self-pity (why else?) yet, I loathe myself for it. I'll say right now I'm a whiny ***** and you shouldn't listen to me, but here it goes.

That caught my attention!

Steady as she goes...!

quote: Life is a big kick in the balls.

True much of the time.

quote: Stupid ass elementary teachers tell you that if you're nice to everyone, good things happen.

Actually if you're nice to EVERYONE indiscriminately it's a sure fact you'll be screwed over. It's best to be nice to yourself first so that you can be nice to others.

quote: I've never gone on a date. All of my experiences in that dept. have sucked. I've asked girls out, and they politely decline.

There are people who don't even dare asking a girl out. So you're more fit than them. And you're just starting life (nomatter if you're feeling pretty old right now)

quote: Once, I got a girl to go to some russian dancing music thing and she ends up bringing another guy,

It sucks big time doesn't it? It's still not the end of the world though. I have suffered through such a case as well as most of my friends one time or another.

quote: I've liked many ladies and wanted to ask them out and they either have a boyfriend (or fiance) or they make it pretty clear that I can't 'touch the hem of their garment'.

Go ahead and touch it

quote: I've figured out that everything you're told as a child are just ideals which are impractical and false in the real world.

It's called "raising up a good child for the society". It sucks I agree. I am a fellow sufferer

quote: I hate all the pretentiousness in society. If it were up to me, everyone would wear a sign on their heads that printed exactly what we were thinking. No room for confusion and no way to have idiots be respected.

Alas, it is an imperfect world and there's no way around it. If you learn to get along without losing any of your personal ideals it would be a good thing.

quote: I haven't even done any of the crazy stuff most people have. I've had a little champagne at a wedding and I had a coke and rum (which I drank in two hours). Me and some friends (when I had some) threw small pumpkins at mailboxes once (and hit two out of the whole batch).

Most of the people lose their lives because they are waiting to live...

quote: All I want is to go on at least one date, have one true friend, and be able to say, "I've lived."

I get the feeling you have the ability to do that but for some reason which is yours to find out, you don't want to

	12-01-2002 09:20									#11
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Good post, Highlander.

I think our friend MacTBone needs to take a roadtrip.

Last edited by Ted Striker on 12-01-2002 at 09:26

	12-01-2002 09:23									#12
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Why oh why does this sound so familiar?

I'm even lower than you in the dating area, so you should feel lucky

	12-01-2002 09:26									#13
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Jimmy Eat World - My Sundown

I see it around me, I see it in everything.
I could be so much more than this.

I've said my goodbyes, this is my sundown.
I'm gonna be so much more than this.

With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no-one cares...
No-one cares.

I need you to show me the way from crazy.
I want to be so much more than this.

With one hand high, you'll show them your progress.
You'll take your time, but no-one cares...
No-one cares.

With one hand high, you'll show me your progress.
You'll take your time, but no-one cares...
No-one cares... no-one cares... no-one cares.
I could be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares...
I could be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this
No one cares...
I want to be so much more than this...

Good, goodbye... lovely time.
Good, goodbye... tinsel shine.
Good, goodbye... I'll be fine.
Good, goodbye... good, goodnight.

	12-01-2002 09:26									#14
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I dont understand why its so difficult to find dates Maybe cause ive never been on the other-side of the coin and have always had good chemistry with all the women I meet.


But still.....Please explain Mac. What happens? Do you stutter or somthing? Just dont know what to say? Or dont have your own wheels? I want to help you if I can...I really do.

	12-01-2002 09:30									#15
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

I see our ranks of Apolyton Players is growing.

1) Boddington's
2) Faded Glory
3) Dissident
4) gay_jon
5) GP
6) Alexander's Horse

Though seriously, Mac, why is it do you think you can't get a date? Do you have bad acne or are really big or something else physical like that?

	12-01-2002 09:34									#16
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

If Spink is a player then I'm ****ing Santa Claus.

	12-01-2002 09:37									#17
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quote: Originally posted by *End Is Forever* If Spink is a player then I'm ****ing Santa Claus.

Brought any presents? Hehe at least he's trying.. Or he says he does

	12-01-2002 09:44									#18
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Dude Im serouis

I look at single people and think "How the hell can you be Single". There are sooo many fish out in the sea. Besides, what the hell can go wrong on a date. I mean really? And I find it hard to believe (Unless your a complete Ogre) there are no women out there for you. You have to go looking.....if your waiting for 2 bi-Sexual blonde women to break into your house one night and give you an awesome time. It wont happen.


My point: Go out and look. Ask.....dont sweat it. If you make a mistake, you dont ever have to talk them again.

	12-01-2002 10:06									#19
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Mac, this might not be much of a help, but here goes my advises:

-Try to stay fit
Physical attraction always helps when you say something you shouldn't. Swimming might be a good idea to achieve this. And since there's always other people who also go to the same pool, you might make some new friendships in the locker room or something (I did, and my friendship already lasts some incredible 8 years!)

-Read general-culture magazines
Making a good conversation is usually pretty hard, so knowing some topics of what to talk about is a good idea. The kind of Reader's Digest magazines. Or even Time Magazine. I think you get what I mean.

-Know people in IRC
One good thing about Internet is that you can meet new people easier. And one thing I found out is that the people who go IRC chats are of every age! And since usually there's a channel with a person's local town, you can meet new nearby people when meetings and dinners are arranged between the users of that channel.

-Don't smoke
It's bad for everyone's health.

-Smile!
You're on Candid Camera!
Everyone enjoys a tender, genuine smile. I believe you can reflect how nice you are/want to be with a person.

-Find people with same interests than you
If you "live" for the PC, you're certainly not going to get along with someone who hates computers, and don't want to even have an e-mail!
But you should also try to show you have interests in common things, despite some that you know they're not "compatible". Don't search for the perfect partner, search for a nice and trustworthy friend. If you can get something more than a friendship, well, you scored!

Any questions?

	12-01-2002 10:20									#20
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quote: Originally posted by *End Is Forever* If Spink is a player then I'm ****ing Santa Claus.

Whatever. Infatplayeration has got the sword, he's got the strut, and most importantly, the skillz.

paiktis is already training him to be next Onassis. Aren't you, paiktis?

"ναι"

See. Ted ain't no fool.

	12-01-2002 10:24									#21
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well mactbone.... you've just offered a pretty good description of the phase i'm going thru.

i use 'phase' because i try to think of it as a 'passing' thing. Call it wishful thinking if you want, but i am really, really trying to expand my social circle and so on, so that this 'phase' will pass. I, like anyone else in this situation, certainly don't want to stuck friendless forever.

Well, a couple of days ago I was actually very very depressed, but now i've taken up a new way of thinking about it, which not only makes me happier but also gives me hope of ending this hellish life, so to speak.

1) don't think about girls right from the start.
That's right. Don't. If you can't get them, work on something else. Don't depress yourself with something that you can't do right now. Make friends. Join activities. Develop your interests, practice talking with people without offending them. Develop your charm, charisma, and general well-likedness.
If you can get all of these right, well then girls won't be that great a problem anymore.

2) make friends.
This is so incredibly important... Without friends your self-esteem and therefore happiness drops. With friends, you have more fun. You are less lonely. You are more well-known. You get more practice at dealing with other people.
It doesn't matter if you come out of all this with quite a few *enemies*. Everyone has enemies. Just mix around. You will end up with more friends than enemies, so the net result is still good.

3) interests
Find out about movies, music, sports, games, current affairs, etc. Any one will do, but the more the better. It's fun to find out about these... and you will have more to talk about when you are talking to a potential friend.

	12-01-2002 10:26									#22
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Skillz my arse.

	12-01-2002 10:27									#23
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When you go to school and date, there always people to talk about...things to talk about. When you are out of all of it alone. Finding a topic most difficult..thats why you skip around on subjects and when you find somthing she's interested in.Lash onto it like leech and suck her dry. But I think your problem is actually getting a date? no? If that is the problem there is a really simple solution.

The pool was a great one, or wieght lifting... I met my current girlfriend at a milwaukee bucks game, she and her friends had seats next to me and my room-mate at the time. And we talked about the game...got to know her, then found out she lived in Racine! Great...what part? Do you know this guy? OR her? Where do you work? And then the best part, Walking out of the bradley center together I asked "You Hungry". She said ya, so I told her to meet me at the Sbarro pizza At thats when it began.

Of course I dont "Consider myself a Player"(using the Rap Music Definition )...I cant say that I just hop around women looking to get down there pants. Im in my late 20's, I could never get away with that.

Besides, too prove im pretty lame, Ive never scored within 3 weeks of meeting a women. I would have known them longer...

	12-01-2002 10:32									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker paiktis is already training him to be next Onassis. Aren't you, paiktis? "ναι" See. Ted ain't no fool.

LOL

Don't know about Onassis though, Infat running an oil - tanker empire? The results would be... unforsenable

	12-01-2002 10:33									#25
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quote: Originally posted by *End Is Forever* Skillz my arse.

Those are good lists Zealot and ranskaldan.

	12-01-2002 10:56									#26
	Inflate your Upload Space

Good ideas all, guys, I just get this feeling that I'm never quite fitting in. As if I'm butting into other people's lives. I don't really have any enemies, just acquaintances.
Yes, I am a little bigger than your average guy, and I try to control that. I also have a hard time getting the courage to ask girls out, and I always take the rejection pretty good when they give an excuse, but it's really hard to find out about people when you see them for maybe 3 hours a week, and that's all class time.

	12-01-2002 11:00									#27
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quote: Originally posted by MacTBone Good ideas all, guys, I just get this feeling that I'm never quite fitting in. As if I'm butting into other people's lives. I don't really have any enemies, just acquaintances.

Don't feel that way then. Think of it as, you're interested in other peoples lives and are willing to partipicate. If you enjoy being with people and finding out about them, this will show in your behavior. Others in turn will also feel more comfortable...

	12-01-2002 18:47									#28
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heh , believe me, I know how you feel . Can't give you a real good advse though . say , do you have any female friends ?

	12-01-2002 19:47									#29
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JEEzus. Can you guys be more morose?

Let me hazard a guess. You try too hard. Worry too much.
People sense that and are put off by it.
Lighten up some.
Go out with one of the band b1tches, Mac.
I bet they're hot.

	12-01-2002 20:21									#30
	It's always the quiet ones Increase the size of your Attachments

I bet they'd go like a train too