14-01-2002 22:21									#61
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bump, by accident

Last edited by CB2034 on 14-01-2002 at 22:57

	14-01-2002 23:34									#62
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So who was the Truest Player, Rah? You or Ming?

	14-01-2002 23:52									#63
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All depends who you talk to

We were both a little geekie in HS.

College gave us an opportunity to start with a clean slate, and things were much easier.

RAH

	14-01-2002 23:56									#64
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Well Ming told me it was a different girl each night for him. It'd be impressive if you beat that...

	15-01-2002 00:05									#65
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ROTFLMAO


Sure thing.

I had a quantity discount at the hourly rate hotel in town.

RAH

	15-01-2002 00:50									#66
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Rah, great points, but I don't seem to have to much of a problem talking to people (after I've had to talk to them from class or some other contrived excuse ). It's the whole, how do I find other things to talk about, and how do I get them to WANT to talk to me. I'm always the one initiating conversations which makes me a little uncomfortable because I feel like a sycophant. Although I did get two chicks' AIM names last semester

Today felt pretty good, some chick in my German class (who I thought would abhor being around me) ended up getting partnered up with me for some stuff in class and she actually looked like she liked talking to me, but then class was over and she booked out of there.

	15-01-2002 01:21									#67
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Dude I just noticed your sig, Blue Monday is by New Order

	15-01-2002 01:24									#68
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Also, look for body language. I can (fairly accurately) tell if people like me or not, if girls are attracted to me within a few minutes of talking.
It seems as though the main responses are about getting the girl, so I'll stick with that. Now for some of us this might be old hat, but it might time to pass on the secrets to the next generation .

Persistent eye contact=good
If you find that they are still looking at you if you avert your gaze for a bit=better
If she keeps looking behind you, don't bother spending anymore time with her, as she's bored
If you smile/wink and they smile/wink back=good
If you smile, and they glare back at you=bad
Hair flicking/touching=good unless she seems totally focused on it, in which case she's bored
Leaning towards you=good
And once she starts accentuating parts of her body she thinks you might be interested in (stroking down her top, or running her hands over thighs), you're basically in there .

Still to get that far, you'll have to a bit of talking as well. For complete strangers, go up to them, say Hi, I am..., make a witty remark or two, and as was said before ask them about themselves. Answer any questions they ask you relatively truthfully, but try and turn the conversation back to them as fast as politely possible. Smile at anything remotely funny they might say. Obviously try and maintain eye contact (it is okay to run your eyes over the girl when you approach her, but don't do it while you're talking to her). Use your eyes to communicate (raised eyebrows, quick glances etc.) to maintain eye contact.

This seems to work in the UK, so I don't know if it'll work in the States, but I have a pretty good success rate with American exchange students, so...

Hope this helps.

	15-01-2002 01:29									#69
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Well said rah and Infatplayeration.

That trick about just listening and throwing in affirmation is really good. Often you'll have girls coming away from conversations saying, "what a GREAT guy!" And they don't know one damn thing about you!

Also Boddington's thing about being positive, you can take that to the bank. If you're positive around her, she'll remember you in a positive light.

Personally when a woman is feeling like crap, I back off, and lay low, there's not much you can do to get her out of her mood. Just say something positive to her about how she can handle the situation and get lost as fast as you can. (Unless you are in a very close relationship where it's a requirement to listen to the "end of the day" whining, and respond with, "yeah, uh-huh, wow, okay that sucks, you did the right thing honey, really?, I bet you are frustratred huh?, oh neat, awesome!, so what are you going to do next?, etc., etc.)

Don't be that guy that gets stuck listening to the girl for hours on end when she is feeling frustrated and "needs someone to talk to." If you are interested in a girl, that's one of the sure fire ways to end up stuck in the friends zone.

	15-01-2002 01:47									#70
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I shoulda done this a long time ago, the knowledge of decades of experience!

Oh, and maybe New Order wrote the song, but I heard the Orgy version. Very cool, "How does it feel! How should I feel! Those who came before me, lived to their vocations..."

	15-01-2002 02:22									#71
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quote: Originally posted by MacTBone Rah, great points, but I don't seem to have to much of a problem talking to people (after I've had to talk to them from class or some other contrived excuse ). It's the whole, how do I find other things to talk about, and how do I get them to WANT to talk to me. I'm always the one initiating conversations which makes me a little uncomfortable because I feel like a sycophant. Although I did get two chicks' AIM names last semester Today felt pretty good, some chick in my German class (who I thought would abhor being around me) ended up getting partnered up with me for some stuff in class and she actually looked like she liked talking to me, but then class was over and she booked out of there.

1. The main thing is don't set your sites on just one or just those that are probably socially unattainable.

Quantity, not necessarily quality. Granted there are extremes you want to avoid but they're all pink on the inside. Don't be shallow, there are a lot of great girls out there that aren't perfect.
And the perfect girls always seem to be looking to upgrade.

I've seen even the worst pickup lines work when used enough. (most anyway )

2. Who cares if you're always the initiator. That's been a man's role for centuries and women have just recently taken to it.

CONFIDENCE, don't make a big deal out of it, just do it.

3. Nothing attacts women more than when you already have one.
I don't mean being a chaneyhead and just using a girl to get others, but when you're young, you're not committing for life when you date someone. Go out and practice. Take note who now appears interested, and follow up after a few months. And who know, you may end up with your practice.
And practice breeds confidence, but don't let it go to your head.

4. Good one TED, watch out for the friend zone. BUT if enough opportunities happen, even friends get closer. Vodka can work wonders.

RAH


RAH

	15-01-2002 02:35									#72
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"vodka"



good point

	15-01-2002 02:48									#73
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quote: Originally posted by rah 1. The main thing is don't set your sites on just one or just those that are probably socially unattainable. Quantity, not necessarily quality. Granted there are extremes you want to avoid but they're all pink on the inside. Don't be shallow, there are a lot of great girls out there that aren't perfect. And the perfect girls always seem to be looking to upgrade. I've seen even the worst pickup lines work when used enough. (most anyway ) 2. Who cares if you're always the initiator. That's been a man's role for centuries and women have just recently taken to it. CONFIDENCE, don't make a big deal out of it, just do it. 3. Nothing attacts women more than when you already have one. I don't mean being a chaneyhead and just using a girl to get others, but when you're young, you're not committing for life when you date someone. Go out and practice. Take note who now appears interested, and follow up after a few months. And who know, you may end up with your practice. And practice breeds confidence, but don't let it go to your head. 4. Good one TED, watch out for the friend zone. BUT if enough opportunities happen, even friends get closer. Vodka can work wonders. RAH RAH

Can't agree more. You don't start driving in Porsche, so don't try and start dating one (so to speak). As your confidence grows, so will your appeal. Though I am not a big fan of the quantity not quality approach; it might get you a certain reputation that you don't want. A healthy balance between quality and quantity is essential. Don't aim too high, don't aim too low.

	15-01-2002 03:02									#74
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quote: And very important...BE POSITIVE!

Oh yeah, good one.

Doesn't work at all sadly. Tried it for a while, but it backfired quite a bit. Every setback resulted in a huge blow to my confidence, and it took some time to become positive again. Plus, it made me far more nervous. Now on the other hand, I have no expectations, or only negative ones. That makes it so much easier to, say, talk to girls. I feel no presure, and so I'm far less nervous than I used to be, and people sense that. Cause of that I made 3 new male friends and 2 new female friends in just 6 months.

	15-01-2002 03:04									#75
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Ok I has taken fromm readers digest the 5 main things women will do without realizing it, that they will do subconcouisly.

1)mess with there hair(thumbs up)
2)look at you while you are not looking at them
3)crossing legs Tighter than usual.
4)circulates one or both feet like they are stretching.


And teh biggest

*******
if they look better on the second date than the first
********

ps. i has broken wrist's in right hand and bad left. apogilize for crap spelling

	15-01-2002 03:08									#76
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Yeah good point lightblue.

I think it's actually better to start out with no assets or skills, because you will figure out what you need to work on and if you play your cards right, you will pick up a self-improvement work ethic that lets you grow as a person for the rest of your life.

Sometimes guys that have it easy at age 16 or so think they have it made that way for life, so they get lazy and they don't work to improve themselves, they don't look ahead and realize all the possibilities. So they sort of stagnate, and don't really mature much more once they reach a certain level.

That's why Infatplayeration someday is going to be a True Player, because he is curious about life and improving himself, and even though his views on the US are 150% wrong, he makes the effort and it's that kind of ambition that carries you for the rest of your life and sets you apart from the pack.

	15-01-2002 03:11									#77
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quote: ps. i has broken wrist's in right hand and bad left. apogilize for crap spelling

What happened? Masturbation injuries?

Did you punch out that guy that was messing with your girlfriend?

Those 5 things are good too. The hair one is usually the easiest to spot.

	15-01-2002 03:50									#78
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker What happened? Masturbation injuries? Did you punch out that guy that was messing with your girlfriend? Those 5 things are good too. The hair one is usually the easiest to spot.

well i was looking under truck hood when a friend shut the thing while bost my arms weare still inside. it barely missed my head and my right one got most the damage. it was wrists not hand. and it is like balloon and i see docter. he said its not broke. he has me on meds

i should not type here tho. it irritates me

	15-01-2002 03:52									#79
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on a sidenote: I wish I was gay

damn genes.

	15-01-2002 03:59									#80
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quote: Originally posted by faded glory well i was looking under truck hood when a friend shut the thing while bost my arms weare still inside. it barely missed my head and my right one got most the damage. it was wrists not hand. and it is like balloon and i see docter. he said its not broke. he has me on meds i should not type here tho. it irritates me

Sorry to hear that faded.

	15-01-2002 05:28									#81
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i wrote most of this last month as an email to another person (at random) who was suffering and ask for help. some of it is in context as if speaking to a girl in high school, but most of it is still relevant to the topic. this advice is not intended to change the world or make you a wonderful person. only to make it easier to get by each day.


i too suffer from depression. i am a pessimist, but i manage to at least have a good attitude about it and get along with almost anyone. i suppose i have to somehow qualify myself to be offering advice. i am 24. i hit 'the bottom' about 7 years ago. i do not intend to present myself as normal or cured or to suggest you might be one day, or any sh*t like that... but i will say i am definitely better off these days. i generally feel ok lately, so long as people leave me alone.

there is *nothing* wrong with being quiet. listen more than you talk and youll do just fine. i feel its better to say few sincere things than lots of "filler" things like so many people do.

Laughter. learn to laugh at absolutely anything. no matter how inappropriate it might seem. life really is a cruel b*tch. very often, all you can do is laugh at it. even when it gets really completely awful. then you have to laugh that much harder.

Youre Not Crazy. the world REALLY IS as f*cked up as it appears to be. the majority of people REALLY ARE that stupid. because you are smart, they are going to be frightened and abusive. high school is the absolute pinacle of this behavior. stupid people tend to remain stupid forever, but after high school, it becomes much easier to avoid them. your life, while probly not perfect, will be way better once high school is over.

Be Humble. after my night 7 years ago, i spent two weeks in a mental hospital. i hated it. for years i considered it the worst thing that ever happened to me. BUT finally the lesson of it occured to me quite gradually ... the best i can sum it up as is: no matter how bad you have it, someone else has it a LOT worse. you could have been born to pat robertson, or somewhere in africa or siberia, or with severe brain damage... think on a large scale. you have a computer. you have running water. you are not kept in a cage. do not take these things for granted. learn to sincerely appreciate the little things. right down to food, shelter, or not being beaten regularly (yes, that is seriously a luxury if you think about the whole world).

Humility. i do not really know how to express how important it is. its a frame of mind. a way of life. it doesnt matter how i say it because it is something you have to learn and feel.

The Golden Rules. primarily do unto others. it is the basis of all morality. live by it. in the same vein is another Golden Rule... if you dont have something nice to say, dont say anything. (addendum: at least say the not nice things in a nice way whenever possible ;o)

Time. doesnt matter what pills you eat, what people say to you, what i write.... only time is really going to make the difference. time and personal experience. at 17 i hoped i was never going to have to suffer 18. at 18 felt the same for 19 and so on... and y'know ... i am certainly still depressed... but i have reached the point where it is *easy* to exist. so long as i dont go and mess things up big (lose a limb, commit a felony, fall in love, etc), i can coast for a while longer. i still expect to die young, but now im thinking 30. whereas at 17 i was thinking 18. Time. it will get harder at times, but generally it only gets easier (think on a large scale again).

Remain Single. heh. easier said than done of course, but i swear the number one cause of mental breakdown is ... love. ugh. dont get me started. just try *Try* to remain single. its SO much easier to live. if you need sex, go for casual sex. always be safe. use good judgement. and be up front about it being Casual if it is. just dont fall in love. then youre ****ed. (no pun intended.) you might think its better at first, but the higher you go, the farther you will fall. only way to remain sane is to remain single. *ESPECIALLY* and i cannot stress it enough ... Do Not fall in love with anyone you correspond with online. oh brother!

Distraction Is Key. (see below)

Read More. fiction and nonfiction. i think have learned more from reading fiction than i did in high school. not to mention reading nonfiction. id suggest reading history. theres a lot more entertainment in it than anyone gathers from a high school history class, and a lot better writers than teachers.

Tori Amos. Beethoven. Miles Davis. music. any and all. (excepting pop-country and cheesy manufactured 90s pop)

Smoke Pot. well, that isnt quite universal advice. but for the particular chemistry of my own brain ... im just right if im high. its not for all of us though. everyone tends to pick some vice, and of all vices, marijuana is arguably the least destructive. be safe. all things in moderation.

cheers.

	15-01-2002 06:20									#82
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quote: Originally posted by Xeones Smoke Pot.

*sigh* *smacks Xeones in the back of the head*

	15-01-2002 07:03									#83
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quote: Personally when a woman is feeling like crap, I back off, and lay low, there's not much you can do to get her out of her mood. Just say something positive to her about how she can handle the situation and get lost as fast as you can.

This is expert advice from Striplayerker.

Whenever you feel a girl is getting negative around you, and you are interested in her as more than friends, get the **** out of there!

Too many "nice guys" will sit with a girl for hours while she pours her heart out to him, in the hope that she'll blindly fall for him because he's been so sensitive.

But girls don't do that...

	15-01-2002 07:11									#84
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Life can be a bit of a sick joke - you just have to learn to laugh along with it.

But how does your life compare to:

. A little child in a cancer ward.

. A shut in crippled by chronic pain.

. Someone living on a garbage dump in a third world slum.

. Somebody who just lost a loved one.

	15-01-2002 07:24									#85
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Thanks for the props Player.

And AH, I think that is some of the BEST advice EVER no matter what situation you are in.

That's one of the reasons me and Urban are always advocating volunteering. It's a one thing to be down because you can't get a second date with a girl, or you did bad on a test.

But when someone comes in and their wife or husband has just died, that kinda puts everything in perspective.

	15-01-2002 07:33									#86
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I feel I've made enough epic posts in these sorts of threads so I'll just say:
**** happens and then you die.

	15-01-2002 07:50									#87
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I'd like to remind everyone that imagining how worse it is for someone else is irrational and stupid and only helps assuage guilt. Instead imagine how much better your life can be (within reason). You aren't those other people and you can never feel what they feel, trying to solves nothing.

	15-01-2002 07:52									#88
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This might be slightly off the topic of this thread, but I just thought of the song as I was reading the thread so here it is.

Silhouettes
Herman's Hermits

Took a walk and passed your house late last night
All the shades were pulled and drawn way down tight
From within, the dim light cast two silhouettes on the shade
Oh what a lovely couple they made

Put his arms around your waist, held you tight
Kisses I could almost taste in the night
Wondered why I'm not the guy who's silhouette's on the shade
I couldn't hide the tears in my eyes

Lost control and rang your bell, I was sore
Let me in or else I'll beat down your door
When two strangers who have been two silhouettes on the shade
Said to myself "you're on the wrong block"

Rushed out to your house with wings on my feet
Loved you like I'd never loved you my sweet
Vowed that you and I would be two silhouettes on the shade
All of our days, two silhouettes on the shade

	15-01-2002 07:53									#89
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker That's one of the reasons me and Urban are always advocating volunteering. It's a one thing to be down because you can't get a second date with a girl, or you did bad on a test.

That's very good advice. Most people who say life sucks without good reason aren't putting enough into it. The added bonus of volunteering is you meet people, including girls. It is in giving that we receive as someone once said.

Just get out there and do something - sport is good, join a club, take dancing lessons, learn an instrument. This is how you a. become a more attractive person and b. meet people who might share your interests.

Exercise is also an excellent way to beat the blues. It actually changes your brain chemistry and helps the body rid itself of toxins. Its recommended even for the clinically depressed.

Hmmm, should follow my own advice more

	15-01-2002 07:57									#90
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AH, it's good advice about picking up an interest or hobby, but somehow we need to convince these stick-in the-muds that it is worth their time and effort.

The most common answer I get when trying to suggest the take-up of a new activity is, in a round-about way, "I can't be arsed".

They prefer to sit on their getting chubbier arses and post to some sad internet forum about how they want a girlfriend.



Time to do something about it without expecting it just to land at your feet without a jot of effort.