10-02-2002 09:13									#1
	Canadian Warship Seizes Tanker In... Wait... Canada has a Warship? Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtml

quote: Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax. "You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war? "Does Canada know?" he added. "Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'" When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying. "They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?" "They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship." According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine. The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows. Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

And yes I link this site too much... because it is damn ****ing funny!!

	10-02-2002 09:15									#2
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We build Canada's Navy....(sell them)


Oh damn you!

Where is blackice with his pictures!!!!!

	10-02-2002 09:16									#3
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This is the best one yet!

	10-02-2002 09:17									#4
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quote: Originally posted by faded glory We build Canada's Navy....(sell them)

Silly me, I thought most of it actually came from the UK?

We just bought a bunch of submarines off 'em...

I realize this is a good joke at the current state of the military, but realize in WW2 (Or was it WW1?) we had the 2nd largest Navy in the world, behind Britain.

	10-02-2002 09:25									#5
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BWAHAHAHA!

Not bloody likely... the Americans were always #2 or #3 since 1910 and when we were #3, it was Germany that was #2.

	10-02-2002 09:27									#6
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I thought that since WW2 we have been #1

Jon Miller

	10-02-2002 09:29									#7
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quote: Originally posted by Jon Miller I thought that since WW2 we have been #1 Jon Miller

Since being the keyword.

The US was hardly a military power until AFTER the wars began.

	10-02-2002 09:30									#8
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Not bloody likely... the Americans were always #2 or #3 since 1910

Uhm, before WWI Portugal had a larger military than we did, IIRC.

	10-02-2002 09:31									#9
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Since being the keyword. The US was hardly a military power until AFTER the wars began.

I was responding to Imran

he said we have been #2 or #3 since 1910

I was correcting him

I am not sure actual numbers but I do know that we had one of the larger Navies pre WW1

	10-02-2002 09:31									#10
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After Teddy Roosevelt, the US navy (the Great White Fleet) was the 2nd or 3rd greatest navy (after Britain and at times Germany) until the end of WW2.

It was the army that was small. The navy was the main defense of the nation after 1890.

	10-02-2002 09:32									#11
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc Uhm, before WWI Portugal had a larger military than we did, IIRC.

Military, NOT navy.

	10-02-2002 09:33									#12
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I'm trying to find figures for Navy sizes for both World Wars, but google is being difficult about it.

I do remember reading in my textbook that Canada had the 2nd largest navy, after Britain, due to the convoys and whatnot.

	10-02-2002 09:46									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Asher I'm trying to find figures for Navy sizes for both World Wars, but google is being difficult about it. I do remember reading in my textbook that Canada had the 2nd largest navy, after Britain, due to the convoys and whatnot.

I believe Canada had the 3rd largest navy, after Britain and probably the US. Canada was very important in protecting the transatlantic convoys.

	10-02-2002 09:47									#14
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Alright, so I was wrong, it was third largest:

http://www.geocities.com/Pentagon/Bunker/4627/rcn.html

quote: At the beginning of the Second World War, the RCN was in a similar shape with that of the rest of the Canadian Military. Sadly neglected by the Government, although not as badly as the Army and Air Force, the RCN nevertheless had a tiny core of experienced and professional Officers and Ratings. However, by the end of the Second World War, the RCN was the third largest navy in the world.

Fourth largest Air Force too.

	10-02-2002 09:48									#15
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well

you were on the winning side

Jon Miller

	10-02-2002 09:50									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Alright, so I was wrong, it was third largest: Fourth largest Air Force too.

You should have invaded the US when you had the chance and gotten your revenge for the War of 1812.

	10-02-2002 09:51									#17
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc You should have invaded the US when you had the chance and gotten your revenge for the War of 1812.

Revenge for that war?
Why? We won.

Who had to rebuild their whitehouse?

	10-02-2002 09:54									#18
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Why?

You didn't get to keep the territory you were occupying.

	10-02-2002 09:55									#19
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc You didn't get to keep the territory you were occupying.

Really?
Seems to me the Dominion of Canada's borders didn't change. But rather you lost a whitehouse and had many failed invasion attempts.

Just what do they teach you in the American schools?

On a side note, you'd think after Vimy Ridge and pilots like Billy Bishop the world would give Canada more respect when it comes to military.

	10-02-2002 09:58									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Just what do they teach you in the American schools?

That essentially nothing changed at the end of the war.

	10-02-2002 10:00									#21
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc That essentially nothing changed at the end of the war.

Well, if you define loss like that, sure.

I define loss as failed attempts to complete objectives.
You had an objective in the war to try to take Canada, and you failed (miserably).
Canada defended itself and, furthermore, burned down your capital.

I define that was a victory for Canada, and a loss for you.

	10-02-2002 10:01									#22
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quote: Originally posted by Asher I define that was a victory for Canada, and a loss for you.

Well, weren't you still British lapdogs at the time?

	10-02-2002 10:02									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Kyle Well, weren't you still British lapdogs at the time?

We know how to play our cards.
Our separation was far more civilized than yours.

	10-02-2002 10:04									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Asher You had an objective in the war to try to take Canada, and you failed (miserably).

That wasn't the main objective of the war but we failed to achieve that one as well.

Kyle: Well, weren't you still British lapdogs at the time?

When did that situation change?

	10-02-2002 10:05									#25
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc When did that situation change?

1982, to be precise.

	10-02-2002 10:07									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Asher 1982, to be precise.

Who are you trying to kid? You're still under the thumb of the House of Windsor.

	10-02-2002 10:10									#27
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quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc Who are you trying to kid? You're still under the thumb of the House of Windsor.

We're not. The only connection left is the Governor General. The last time he(she now) tried to use his(her) power, there was a HUGE protest and they backed down.

Canada is sovereign, stop kidding yourself.

And Canada's separation wasn't as barbaric as yours.
Jealousy perhaps?

	10-02-2002 10:18									#28
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This article wasn't

More like

And besides, this whole Canada - U.S. rivalry thing is, simply put, dumb. What possible reason is there for us to dislike you, or for you to dislike us??? And as far as our seperation being "barbaric"... I wouldn't exactly call the Boston Massacre civilized.

	10-02-2002 10:20									#29
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That's a pretty funny site, right up there with the onion in terms of writing quality.

this is from the same site. . .

Attachment: polled.gif
This has been downloaded 125 time(s).

	10-02-2002 10:21									#30
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quote: Originally posted by monolith94 And besides, this whole Canada - U.S. rivalry thing is, simply put, dumb. What possible reason is there for us to dislike you, or for you to dislike us??? And as far as our seperation being "barbaric"... I wouldn't exactly call the Boston Massacre civilized.

There's PLENTY of reason to dislike you.

Read up on your government's history.

The US government is solely responsible for the demise of Avro. It makes for great reading.
The Avro Arrow especially.
And the Avro Jetliner.

The US Government strongarmed Canada into getting rid of both.


But you guys aren't so bad.