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Samuel Johnson
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Iraq's votes and yearly address to the U.N. is submitted.
The Republic of Iraq votes the following:
Alaska: Abstain.
Africa: Abstain.
Pie: Key Lime and Coconut, if you please. Yes.
India/Egypt Admittance: For Egypt. Abstain on India.
The doctrine of BEER refers to the current Republic of Iraq's current police action in Greece. We continue to ask the U.N. to approve the current partition of Greece and also approve a special vote by the Greece people to determine their own future once the country is cleaned up. Our peacekeeping force in Greece has been welcome by the Greek people who had suffered a massive attack by a Warsaw Pact nation. The Republic of Iraq regrets not capturing the madman who held Greece but notes that they were the only country who tried to end the crisis.
In the Athens, Aegean and Crete regions, we have installed police stations and are cleaning up the nuclear waste. We are also building a large music hall in Athens. The people there are very happy with our benevolent rule.
We call upon the Secretary General to hold a vote on the Greece issue and we ask the Country of Beer to reconsider its unfair doctrine.
Our recent Navy buildup in the Eastern Med continues, we now patrol Iraqi and South Eastern Greece coasts with a medium size Navy.
Last edited by Samuel Johnson on 17-05-2002 at 06:28
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Samuel Johnson
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DIPLOMATIC DISPATCHES - PERSONAL FOR TO OTHER LEADERS OF THE WORLD
Personal message to the U.S. Dwight Eisenhower from the Republic of Iraq, President Camel Hussein sending.
We regret to inform you that we will turn down your generous offer. Since I have been president, I have tried to prove to the world our peaceful intentions. We do have an argument with the hectoring hegemon to our Northwest but we hope that can be solved in a civilized and just manner. Good luck.
Personal message to King Tut.
Please see copy of my attached message to General Eisenhower. I do not think it would be in our best interests to get involved in the never ending wars of the imperalists.
Personal message to the King of BEER
Thank you for your recent lecture on how we should handle our affairs with the world. What shall we do with all these BEER citizens applying for citizenship in the Republic of Iraq? We would be perfectly willing to return the boatloads of people back to you. But we are a bit concerned about the rumors of concentration camps for dissidents in your "conquered terrortories" that we have read about through the International Herald Tribune. Are they true? Escaped citizens are talking to the press! The world wants to know...
Oh, by the way, in case you had not noticed, we are now a Republic and while we keep a stern eye on our "capitalists", we have always been and always will be an advocate of free trade and entrepreneurialship. We do not have a problem with other countries based on their ideology.
Personal message to the leader of the USSR - My, you seem a bit over-extended these days. Please relax and accept our invitation to our great concert in Athens.
Personal message to the leader of Canada - We continue to offer our hand in friendship and wish to invite you to the party in Athens.
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Samuel Johnson
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We request a Greek vote for self-determination. We wish the world to see BEER go on record with their veto and note that they have not put anything on the table but threats to other members of the U.N. If BEER attacks the people and military forces of the Republic of Iraq, we will surely have to invoke our right to self-defense and call on all of the U.N. countries to support us.
We question the USSR's support of imperalist posturing given USSR past statements to the world on this subject and their unique leadership in the U.N.
The Republic of Iraq wishes to settle this issue peacefully.
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Samuel Johnson
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((OOC Dwight D Eisenhower, the man who built NATO, wants to join the Warsaw Pact...Hahahaha)))
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Samuel Johnson
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The figure sitting on the chair in the lightless room was deathly still. His face enclosed in shadows, he looked up when he heard the familiar sound of Lugar shots and submachine gun fire. His heart leaped when the knob on his door rattled and his eyes shone brightly in the darkness as he fingered the small Beretta his girlfriend had smuggled into his cell.
He breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened. The Sicilian came into the room followed by his network of rogue special forces from all over the world.
"Dear friend, I thought I picked out your gunshots."
It was a long time since he had done it but the Sicilian couldn't help smiling. "Your car is waiting outside. I have assigned this young man to be your personal bodyguard. He is my most trusted man."
Saddam looked at the swaggering, bug-eyed youth in front of him with the funny headdress. "What's your name, son?"
"Yassir."
"I didn't command you to do anything. Why did you say "Yes Sir" - what's your name?"
"Yassir."
"well, yes, Yes Sir is fine if that is how you wish to address me. Once again what is your name, son?"
Yassir sighed and rolled his eyes. "Just call me Arafat, okey?"
Last edited by Samuel Johnson on 17-05-2002 at 04:24
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Samuel Johnson
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These are the Headlines from the International Tribune
MYSTERIOUS TERRORISM APPEARS TO EMANATE FROM USA
SADDAM ESCAPES! PRISON MASSACRE.
BEER BORDER GUARD SHOOTS GREEK BEARING GIFTS. IRAQ PROTECED GREECE EXPRESSES SHOCK.
Fareeka looked up from the headlines. "This is shocking, I say, shocking. While our little Prince is dilly-dallying in Crete and Athens, he allows his father to escape. Cara, where is that no-confidence resolution?"
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17-05-2002 03:09
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