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Tiamat
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.....and George's daughter
Mar 2000
time: 05:19
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As a Texan I can personally attest to the following points as being true. 
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep."
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas and
probably a half dozen species or more in your own backyard.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,001 live in Texas.
Armadillos love to dig holes under all bedding plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when
they are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner
to corner.
Pecan is pronounced "puhcon."
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Texas has 6 seasons:
Spring - Feb 16 to April 15;
Summer - April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
Super Summer - July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees);
Summer - Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees);
Fall - Oct 2 to Dec 1;
Winter - Dec. 2 to Feb 15
The wind blows at 90 MPH (THIS IS EXCESSIVE) from Oct. 2 until
July 15, then it stops totally. (This does not apply to West Texas.)
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. (Selfbiased and I argue over this alot! Apparently up North it's a cart.)
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic and they multiply even
faster than rabbits.
Coldbeer is one word.
People actually grow and eat Okra - - and what's more, they like it.
Texans really don't have an accent - it's the rest of the world
that talks funny.
When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees
will survive.
Green grass DOES burn, as does your skin if you don't run
fast enough to the next shade tree.
When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City
people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night. Cats
come and go as they please.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the
first couple of weeks. After that, you don't even notice them anymore.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to
go to the doctor.
A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation and is drinkable to most of the livestock. And the Fish and Game Dept. will help you stock them and then they make good fishin' and swimmin' holes too.
"Bakards and forards" means I know everything about a subject, or the way to go if you're giving directions.
"Pertnear" means you are almost done-readin' this cute note.
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. Then you get up the next morning before it's light enough to see, and start over.
Opossum is pronounced "possum" and resembles a big hairless rat.
"Fixnto" is one word - - and probably one of the most used words
in the true Texan's vocabulary.
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Guynemer
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I'm feeling an overpowering urge to mess with Texas.
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20-05-2002 23:41
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