24-05-2002 17:06									#31
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quote: Originally posted by MikeH Sex is normally better with people who know what they are doing and really enjoy it and aren't crippled with hangups about it. That said if you wait for weeks when you eventually do get it it's great.

Actually super religious girls are a two-edged sword. I have seen them be so hung up as to be not worth the trouble (at least in my days as a sex hound), but more often I found an unbelievable amount of passion once they decided to let it go. Of course your mileage may vary, I tend to connect with other hypersexuals in general.

	24-05-2002 17:11									#32
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quote: Originally posted by Serb It takes 28 seconds for you when you have sex? You are very fast guy.

ooo... can you feel the burn?

	24-05-2002 18:23									#33
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Like I said, christian girls rule

providing they are not too crazy though.

I have my eyes on a nice girl though. I may not be into religion much, but I love religious girls. She seems to like me, and is a virgin, but I know I can change that. Only one b/f yet, and he was an *******. If I play my cards right...

	24-05-2002 19:08									#34
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I think you just rent Chasing Amy and then have a debate session afterwards.

Or... Maybe not.

But don't do what Afleck did! Choose the 2 girl option, not the 2 guy option!

	24-05-2002 20:08									#35
	MonkSpider is making mountain out of molehill Tired of ads?

Those "clues" you are saying indicate your girlfriend has bisexual tendencies are being blown way out of proportion. Such things in no way indicate that your girlfriend is truly bisexual. Most women say and do things like that, and only a very small percentage of them are actually bisexual. Relax.

	24-05-2002 20:55									#36
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monkspider, I can understand where you are coming from.

I'm a gay man, but I am not sure how comfortable I would be in a monogamous relationship with a bisexual man.

Now, some of you can go ahead and call this hypocrisy or double-standard, but if you can suggest ways for a gay man to become comfortable having a monogamous relationship with a bisexual man, I am all ears. (Boris, Starchild, Asher, or anyone with comments??) I know that there are gay men who have no problems with this.

I just want to establish a monogamous relationship with a type of person I would feel most comfortable with?? Does that make me a bad person??

Give me a gay man over a bisexual man for a long-term, monogamous relationship.

	24-05-2002 21:03									#37
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I think you should really try and ask yourself why is it hard for you to deal with?

do you blieve you can't satisfy her enough?
do you dislike lesbian relationship at all?
are you afraid that a bi will cheat on you more than straight since if she were straight you could fulfill her every need, but now you can't?

anyway, if you really feel deeply for each other, talk it out, but I suggest not taking a too rough stand on it.

You could always have really nice sex games and swing like dirty monkeys

	24-05-2002 21:12									#38
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woohoo, I am unbanned

I must say that I agree with Mr. Fun and Monkspider

I would not want my SO to be bisexual

Jon Miller

	24-05-2002 22:17									#39
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quote: Originally posted by MrFun monkspider, I can understand where you are coming from. I'm a gay man, but I am not sure how comfortable I would be in a monogamous relationship with a bisexual man. Now, some of you can go ahead and call this hypocrisy or double-standard, but if you can suggest ways for a gay man to become comfortable having a monogamous relationship with a bisexual man, I am all ears. (Boris, Starchild, Asher, or anyone with comments??) I know that there are gay men who have no problems with this. I just want to establish a monogamous relationship with a type of person I would feel most comfortable with?? Does that make me a bad person?? Give me a gay man over a bisexual man for a long-term, monogamous relationship.

Personally, I dont get this. Are you saying that a bisexual is less committed to a relationship than a gay (or hetero)?

If you're saying you feel uncomfortable around bisexuals, I guess you understand the hetero's that are uncomfortable around gays.

	24-05-2002 23:08									#40
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Yes, I've found my way here.

First, I do not want to date a bisexual anymore than I want to date a heterosexual. I am attracted to gay men, I want to date gay men. It's about relating, I think. I don't think I could relate to a genuine bisexual (they do exist) like I could a fellow gay man.

Monkspider: Ok, I think you need to elaborate more, however, on why you feel the way you do about bisexuality being such a make-or-break issue. From the tone of what you wrote, for some reason I got the sense there was more to it. Is there anything else about the relationship you have doubts about? Maybe even subconsciously?

The best thing you can do now is ask her. Work into a conversation subtly. Start having a talk about sexuality, maybe coming from seeing something gay or bisexual on TV or movies. Then slip in the question, innocently, hey, have you ever been with another girl or thought you could be bi? Make it friendly not accusatory.

You have to do this because unless you know for sure, it will bug you constantly and will be detrimental to your relationship with her. It will fester in your mind and you will begin to subconsciously resent having to be suspicious of it. When you get in a suspicious mindset, you tend to get suspicious about everything, and that will kill it.

If she says no, she's not bi, then everything's fine, forget about it. Providing of course that really is your only issue.

If she says yes, then you will have to do some soul-searching. If you decide you love her enough that it's not a problem (you may indeed think differently about it when confronted with the reality), and then happy happy joy joy.

But if it still bothers you a great deal and you feel you can't get around it, then you have to dump her. It would not be fair to her or to you to continue with the relationship if you are going to stew and rot over that hangup, because you will continue to be upset over it and it will f*ck things up. It will no way speak badly on you in this case, as you can't help how you feel. And it's far better to recognize you can't get over something and proactively nip it in the bud than to drag it out for months trying to reconcile it and ultimately causing a lot of pain for everyone involved.

	24-05-2002 23:11									#41
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quote: Originally posted by SpencerH Personally, I dont get this. Are you saying that a bisexual is less committed to a relationship than a gay (or hetero)? If you're saying you feel uncomfortable around bisexuals, I guess you understand the hetero's that are uncomfortable around gays.

How on earth do you make that stretch? He's talking about being uncomfortable being in a RELATIONSHIP with a bisexual, not merely being around them. Why would that be a factor for a heterosexual and gays? Apples and Oranges, dear.

	25-05-2002 00:12									#42
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I was pretty good friends with a bi girl that didnt consider sexual relations with a girl as cheating on her boyfriend. She said it didn't count. That had nothing to do with her being bi, but more to do with her personality.

Sikander and Boris gave some pretty good advice so I can't add too much to the conversation. People keep talking about the advantages of dating a bi girl, but in my experience(not as much as Sikander it appears ) that is only with those you don't plan on staying with for a long time which is fine if thats what your in to. If you with a bi girl for the opportunites it presents as far as adventures, then a long term relationship is not likely to be in the cards for the two of you.

	25-05-2002 00:15									#43
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov How on earth do you make that stretch? He's talking about being uncomfortable being in a RELATIONSHIP with a bisexual, not merely being around them. Why would that be a factor for a heterosexual and gays? Apples and Oranges, dear.

Thanks for not twisting my words around like others have, Boris.
I'm glad that you agree that I'm not being hypocritical when it comes to my personal, intimate relationships.


Just as the case with mono-racial relationships. A white person who prefers a relationship with another white person is not necessarily racist.

	25-05-2002 00:21									#44
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quote: Thanks for not twisting my words around like others have, Boris.

Well you have quite a habit of twisting words around, so you know...

--

Anyway, I think you should listen to Sikander here. He had the best post I've seen on this thread so far. I don't think you have enough 'proof' that she is bisexual. Remarking on a girl that may be cute, isn't tooo out of the norm for females.

	25-05-2002 00:26									#45
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I have, Imran?

If so, then I need to avoid doing that in the future.

	25-05-2002 00:28									#46
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God bless ya Boris, Mr Fun, Jon, Comrade Ranger, et al.
I don't feel quite as strange for feeling this way about bisexual chicks, and I am confident in confronting my girlfriend about this issue this evening. Wish me luck.
Thanks so much for the kind, and listening ear guys.

And I don't find your feelings to be hypocritical at all Mrfun.

	25-05-2002 00:36									#47
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Thanks, monkspider.

And I hope things turn out for the best, for both of you -- however you two decide.

	25-05-2002 00:36									#48
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be diplomatic

Jon Miller

	25-05-2002 00:37									#49
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You are so going to get dumped.

	25-05-2002 00:40									#50
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Monkspider. How old are you? How old is she? Not trying to insult you, but, well, gee, ... If you are under 25, don't get too serious w/ anyone. If you are 25 - 30, face up to the fact that romantic love is a fancy term for lust and desirous attraction, like licking honey from a razor blade. If you are 30 - 35, realize that you really ain't going to find no one perfect, and a little bisexuality ain't the worse there is . If you are about to turn 36 like me and just divorced from a gorgeous ice princess, you read something like this and think, "Bisexual live in girlfriend? Oh my god YES!" Idon't want to lead you down the unrighteous path, my boy, but I passed up on an opportunity like that years ago and never stopped regretting it .
Geez, have some fun, hold off on fallig "in luv" til you really know her or anyone else.

From the advice collumn, "Ask Bigvic", former pornstar wannabe.

	25-05-2002 00:43									#51
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov How on earth do you make that stretch? He's talking about being uncomfortable being in a RELATIONSHIP with a bisexual, not merely being around them. Why would that be a factor for a heterosexual and gays? Apples and Oranges, dear.

Well dearie.

Perhaps I did stretch things a bit, but I dont think its apples and oranges unless you or MF can actually give a reason. The question is why MF is "uncomfortable."

Isnt one of the constant banners of the gay movement that the important factor that should decide legal status for example is a loving relationship of any kind rather than a heterosexual relationship?

Perhaps you can tell us that gay men arent attracted to bisexual men? That would seem like a big stretch to me. What you have both said has more in common with homophobia than you are willing to admit to.

	25-05-2002 00:44									#52
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There's something deliciously Freudian about a "former pornstar wannabee" called "bigvic" who uses only tiny, disappointing lower case letters.

	25-05-2002 00:47									#53
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I kinda had a bisexual girlfriend for some moons but I only found out about it when her ex-girlfriend appeared. so i am not a good person to ask for insight. i'm blind too i guess.
for what it is worth during our very short stay together she did not comment on other girls and i didnt notice anything out of the ordinary

	25-05-2002 00:48									#54
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quote: Originally posted by Bugs ****ing Bunny There's something deliciously Freudian about a "former pornstar wannabee" called "bigvic" who uses only tiny, disappointing lower case letters.

Ah, sense of humor, best remedy for female problems.

	25-05-2002 00:52									#55
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quote: Originally posted by SpencerH Well dearie. Perhaps I did stretch things a bit, but I dont think its apples and oranges unless you or MF can actually give a reason. The question is why MF is "uncomfortable." Isnt one of the constant banners of the gay movement that the important factor that should decide legal status for example is a loving relationship of any kind rather than a heterosexual relationship? Perhaps you can tell us that gay men arent attracted to bisexual men? That would seem like a big stretch to me. What you have both said has more in common with homophobia than you are willing to admit to.

I can be good friends with bisexual men.

I can also have casual sex with bisexual men.

I believe that bisexuals are entitled to relationships and unions as much as homosexuals and heterosexuals are entitled.


Where are you getting that I am biphobic??

	25-05-2002 00:53									#56
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quote: Originally posted by monkspider God bless ya Boris, Mr Fun, Jon, Comrade Ranger, et al. I don't feel quite as strange for feeling this way about bisexual chicks, and I am confident in confronting my girlfriend about this issue this evening. Wish me luck. Thanks so much for the kind, and listening ear guys. And I don't find your feelings to be hypocritical at all Mrfun.

MS, do I take it from your signature that you consider yourself to be a christian? If so, would that be the source of your doubt in this matter?

How ironic that Boris and MF have supported MS in his feelings (~doubts) about a girl who he's planning to live with because she may be bisexual.

	25-05-2002 00:57									#57
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BTW monkspider, when I found out it kind of put me off.

so no you are not the only one to not like it.

i guess many people play liberals but when the **** hits the fan thats when we really discover about ourselves.

(of course there were other complciations in my case such as homicide attempts and other not so well appreciated things).

i dont know if it was because i found out that she was bi or because i found out how psychotic they both were (her and her ex) that i took my baggage and went away so to speak.

	25-05-2002 00:57									#58
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Nope, I am a breed of christian who sees nothing wrong with Gays or Bisexuals in a theological sense.

	25-05-2002 00:58									#59
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yes, I will repeat Monkspider

be very careful (because in many ways you say she is nice)

and no matter what do not say that you think she is bisexual

just say something along the lines of that you are not into haveing an SO who is bisexual and you hope that she is not

because, honestly, she does not sound Bi to me (maybe if you got into more detail...)

and it is not fun to have your sexuality questioned (praticularly by those who know you well, I am speaking from expereince here)

Jon Miller

	25-05-2002 00:59									#60
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Thanks Jon,
I will be certain to broach the subject delicately.