25-07-2002 23:12									#31
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"I think there is a word for this."

Pocket *****.

	25-07-2002 23:29									#32
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia No. Is this so strange?

Yes, it's very strange.

quote: You have a strange concept of morality.

Morality? What the f*ck is it? If I have your concept I'll probably was married long ago, but I'm not. (And btw, I don't regret about this)

	25-07-2002 23:43									#33
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Cheating scum he is. Just friends, my ass! He just wanted to cheat and get away with it. Your lady friend shouldn't put up with it and tell him to get lost.

	25-07-2002 23:57									#34
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quote: Originally posted by Serb Morality? What the f*ck is it?

If you and your wife/girlfriend have an understanding that your relationship is monogamous, and you go and sleep with another woman, you are a liar and a cheat.

	26-07-2002 01:40									#35
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Cheating scum he is. Just friends, my ass! He just wanted to cheat and get away with it. Your lady friend shouldn't put up with it and tell him to get lost.

I agree. It is also obvious that this "next door neighbor" has a thing for your friend. She may want him all to herself.

	26-07-2002 02:17									#36
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So I can say: hey darling don't you mind, I'm screwing her because she's my friend

Excellent

So only sex with strangers is forbidden?

	26-07-2002 02:19									#37
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hmm...I guess it all depends. I mean, you have fun when you're younger, you play together. When you grow up, to have fun, why can't you play in a more adult way?

However, this guy was cheating. I don't agree with that.

	26-07-2002 02:20									#38
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Paitkis: Er...I should certainly hope not!

	26-07-2002 02:23									#39
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obviously Boris obviously

	26-07-2002 03:34									#40
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The example given is pure, unvarnished cheating, and it's stupid and mean.

What would be fine is if nobody involved thought they were in a committed relationship and everybody knew all the permutations. You must always be honest with your partner (and expect the same honesty) because multiple partners increases the risk of STDs, weird emotional side effects, etc.

For men, 9 out of 10 girls won't accept sharing since they are wired for an entirely different concept of sexual intimacy. Men just have to deal with it: if you really want somebody honestly polyamorous, you'll eventually find them out there (generally older and less attractive, but you can't have everything and you should put honesty first).

Women under 30 and men under 35, unless they have some form of deep religious commitment that has short-circuited their libidos and their imaginations, just shouldn't be in exclusive relationships. The guys naturally want to stray and the girls generally want their men for the wrong reasons (various forms of economic or emotional parasitism).

Stay loose until you're 30; stay honest with everybody. If you follow those guidelines then those who would deny you your honest promiscuity should be ignored as the usual sex-haters and -fearers.

Last edited by Kepler on 26-07-2002 at 03:41

	26-07-2002 05:30									#41
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A good example of emotional side effects was a well-publcised murder in South Australia a few years back.

A woman was interested in the idea of seeing her husband have sex with her best friend, and so asked him. He was against the idea, but she kept pestering him for months to do so. Eventually he agreed, and so it was arranged. Anyway, when he ultimately did so with her best friend in her presence, the wife was overcome by jealous rage - an unintended emotional side effect! She then took to beating up her husbandat every opportunity. Apparently, the husband had been treated in hospital more than once for wounds inflicted by his wife. The story ended tragically with the husband killing the wife after years of physical abuse

I can only presume that this is what happened as the husband was ulimately exonerated. I guess the lesson here is that even among consenting partners it may not ultimatley be harmless

	26-07-2002 05:42									#42
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quote: Originally posted by faded glory Damn whats that word for this? It starts with a P I think. I hate brainlock.

Pfantastik Phriend Phucking

	26-07-2002 08:37									#43
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there is nothing wrong with sex because your friends. But If one participent is committed to another relationship then the only result will be pain for one or all.

We all look and we all wonder what it would be like to do certain things. But in the end it comes down to controlling your desires and tempering them with what the feelings you have with another person. There are no accidents when it comes to cheating. It's a lack of control and its based in selfishnes. And I despise people that can't control themselves. I'm not trying to claim a moral high ground. I just speak from experience.


as a sidenote, I used to sneer at those that condoned cheating of their SO's. But experience has thought me that for the most part, love has no logic and does not depend upon common sense. For those that seek logic, do not go looking for it in love.

Last edited by Sprayber on 26-07-2002 at 08:45

	26-07-2002 08:53									#44
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Well said Spray.

I have nothing to add. I agree with you on all of that.

	26-07-2002 08:59									#45
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My rather unpopular view is that it's a bad idea to have sex with someone you aren't in love with and don't see yourself possibly ending up with.

Yes, that means I would turn down a one night stand with the hottest girl at my university.

*prepares to be flamed*

	26-07-2002 09:00									#46
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I agree as well. Except for one thing. I don't like the belief that love is absent of logic. I strongly believe in the principal that on a small enough level, everything is understandable. I think that once we know enough about the human mind, love will make sense. Right now of course, it just causes lots of problems. Well lots of good, too.

	26-07-2002 09:02									#47
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On the concept of cheating.

I certaintly dont condone it.

But I have seen couples go through it and manage to survive as couples. Including married couples. Even if they went through hell... and made promises never to do it again.

(although they did, but I'm saying no names )

No case is identical.

	26-07-2002 09:04									#48
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia If you and your wife/girlfriend have an understanding that your relationship is monogamous, and you go and sleep with another woman, you are a liar and a cheat.

So what? Someone should to be bad, not every person is so saint as you are.
I'm proud of you, really. Perhaps you are very happy man.

	26-07-2002 09:09									#49
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quote: Originally posted by David Floyd Yes, that means I would turn down a one night stand with the hottest girl at my university.

Do you really think that you'll ever have opportunity to demonstrate your high moral principles to her?

	26-07-2002 09:15									#50
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quote: Originally posted by Ned I agree. It is also obvious that this "next door neighbor" has a thing for your friend. She may want him all to herself.

It's not necessary. Is it so hard to imagine that people could have sex only because they just like to have sex with each other? That she might just like to have sex with him and nothing more.

	26-07-2002 09:21									#51
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Applied example:

I know this couple. The wife has cheated on her husband once. She said that her husband wasnt giving enough sexual attention at her.

The husband found out.

The couple went through hell.

She promised never to do it again and they escaped the divorce by a very close distance.

Then... she goes and does it again. Cheats on him.

But now she is too afraid to tell him because she fears that would be the end of their relationship (they have kids too) and she has promised to herself never to do it again.


I dont know... life is complicated.... logically she is to blame but if she doesnt do it again I guess it's ok?

There is no definite answer. It involves those who it involves and each case is different I think.

(but if it was me... boy... I'd kill her (j/k) )

	26-07-2002 09:29									#52
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quote: Do you really think that you'll ever have opportunity to demonstrate your high moral principles to her?

I suppose it depends on if this hypothetical person is a stuck-up ***** or not, quite frankly

	26-07-2002 09:30									#53
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I say, why can't the girlfriend just agree with it?

Then the three of them could sleep together. The man loves the girls. The girls love one another and the man. What a perfect arrangement!

I would love it!

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~Dominik - Lord of the Putumayo~

	26-07-2002 09:34									#54
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quote: Originally posted by paiktis22 She said that her husband wasnt giving enough sexual attention at her.

If this is the real reason, then husbant should do something about this. His guilty in this situation no less then she is.

quote: (but if it was me... boy... I'd kill her (j/k) )

It's not a reason for a murder. It's a good reason to become angry, mad, excellent reason to get drunk, but murder? No it don't worth it. Everybody could made mistakes and even if she have sex with some one else, it doesn't mean that she didn't love you anymore.

	26-07-2002 09:34									#55
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quote: Originally posted by Lorizael I agree as well. Except for one thing. I don't like the belief that love is absent of logic. I strongly believe in the principal that on a small enough level, everything is understandable. I think that once we know enough about the human mind, love will make sense. Right now of course, it just causes lots of problems. Well lots of good, too.

If you find it, I'll be the first to thank you.

	26-07-2002 09:37									#56
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I doubt very much I will find it. I'm just trying to. Didn't say it was easy.........

	26-07-2002 09:41									#57
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Hell, they should have threesome marriages made legal everywhere!!

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~Dominik - Lord of the Putumayo~

	26-07-2002 09:44									#58
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You do know posts in the OT don't increase your post count, right Dominikos?

	26-07-2002 09:46									#59
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quote: Originally posted by Serb If this is the real reason, then husbant should do something about this. His guilty in this situation no less then she is.

Maybe so Serb. BUT she also has to make a choice if she loves him. This man is more interested in books than sex. So she also has to chose if she wants him or if she wants more sex.

quote: It's not a reason for a murder. It's a good reason to become angry, mad, excellent reason to get drunk, but murder? No it don't worth it. Everybody could made mistakes and even if she have sex with some one else, it doesn't mean that she didn't love you anymore.

"j/k" (which I said in my pervious post) means "joking"

	26-07-2002 09:46									#60
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quote: Originally posted by Dominikos I say, why can't the girlfriend just agree with it? Then the three of them could sleep together. The man loves the girls. The girls love one another and the man. What a perfect arrangement! I would love it!

Prepare to be burned on stick. I just found that Apolyton is the gathering place of saints and people with great moral values. You sounds like devil for them. So you should better run.