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lightblue is offline lightblue
Chieftain
L'Boro, UK
Oct 2001
time: 05:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 05:14
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Hmm you really seem to be in a bad way. By the end of my period as a PhD I was completely depressed, didn't want to socailise with people, even avoided my housemates. I found that for me sport (and adrenaline in particular) really helped. It teaches you how to set goals and how to get to them. And physical well being results in mental well being. As well as increasing your chances of getting laid obviously... Once I got out my depressive stage, I found i was better able to make decisions, so I quit my PhD and started this MSc. On the same note once I got out of this stage I got a really cute (now ex) girlfriend within weeks, which is just about the best way to increase your selfconfidence.
The main thing is to raise your confidence. Find something your good at, and do it until you feel good about yourself. In my case it is sports, in your case it might be something completely different. Start planning your future, set targets and try to achieve them. Reward yourself when you do.
Don't get too focused on job interviews, I genreally find that the more relaxed you go into interviews the more likely you are to get it (I went to an interview for my PhD at cambridge, with the absolute thought that there was not a cats chance in hell of me getting it so I just went and was myself, and got the place).

I have said it before and i'll say it again, medication is not a solution. Neither is alcohol or drugs. All they do is mask or increase the effects. Paying for sex is only going to completely wallop whatever shreds of selfbelief you have.

In a way AH is right. You have to realise that you are being too hard on yourself and that you have to snap out of wallowing in your own self pity however strangely comforting it may be. It might take some time but you just have to force yourself to do the things you don't think you can do.

Dr Strangelove is offline Dr Strangelove
King
USA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 05:34
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When you go to your doctor the first thing you need to say to him/her is: "I think I'm depressed". That will focus the doc on the problem and finding a solution. Maybe things are different in Britain, but most docs here would start considering which medication to put you on. Maybe when your depression starts to lift things will look different.

Let's ask this: If you weren't able to do Biochemistry what would you like to do?

Would you be suitable for teaching?

Provost Harrison is offline Provost Harrison
Emperor
The farce is strong with this one.
Feb 2000
time: 05:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 05:47
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I don't know whether I would have the patience for teaching (in terms of the little brats), but the holidays are pay are pretty nice...

Dr Strangelove is offline Dr Strangelove
King
USA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 05:51
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Did you get a master's degree? Wouldn't you be suitable to teach high school kids?

Does the UK have the equivalent of Community Colleges? Over here a master's degree would be quite sufficient to teach in one.

orange is offline orange
Emperor
It doesn't matter what your name is!
Feb 2000
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 05:54 Visit orange's homepage!
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Community college might be a good start PH. Good advice from Dr. S

Alexander's Horse is offline Alexander's Horse
Deity
Panmunjon, hands up!
Jan 1970
time: 15:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 06:43 Visit Alexander's Horse's homepage!
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Yeah go and see a doctor.

Pay no attention to me

Being depressed is no fun.

Maybe you have that disorder where lack of sunlight gets you down............

I've had long periods of sort of chronic depression in my life, often brought on my excessive work or study, alck of exercise, proper diet, whatever.

I guess I'm lucky because I'm sort of self medicating

Exercise is very good for clearing out the cobwebs, and has chemical benefits as others have mentioned.

Another thing, which a Brit would understand but an American might not, is that hobbies, collecting things, eccentricity, whatever, are bliss. If you have some interests - I used to like toy soldiers - just escaping into that little world can do you the world of good. A ot of gardeners cope like that - a few hours with the flowers and they are as right as rain. Pets - great. Your dog will always love you. If all else fails, hug your Teddy.

Also, focussing on other people is great - do something nice for someone, be kind to your Mom. A burden shared is a burden halved. There are people around you who love you and would do anything for you. They've got their troubles too you know.......you can help.

I find prayer and meditation useful - bad luck you don't have that to fall back on eh?

*End Is Forever* is offline *End Is Forever*
Emperor
Salford, UK
Jan 1970
time: 05:24
Arrow  Old Post 18-12-2002 07:07 Visit *End Is Forever*'s homepage!
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quote:
Originally posted by Dr Strangelove
Did you get a master's degree? Wouldn't you be suitable to teach high school kids?

Does the UK have the equivalent of Community Colleges? Over here a master's degree would be quite sufficient to teach in one.


He'd need to go back and do one more year of study... a PGCE, and then he could teach. They are screaming out for science teachers at the moment...

Seeker is offline Seeker
Emperor
London Ontario
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 07:34 Visit Seeker's homepage!
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Come teach English with me.

Apartment: paid

Taxes: Don't transfer anything back to your UK account

utilities: low, low low, I pay less than $20 Cnd a month

Hours: low

Money: start at approx $33 000 a year, go up a bit every year for 4 years, then you need a MA or real teaching degree to get more.

Fun: Pick well and don't take the first thing, get a big city like Seoul or Taipei. Get tired of Asian stuff? Hang out with the other expats!

Reward/'spirit' category:
You are teaching kids and adults around the world an essential skill they will need to succeed in the future. Teaching a class that's motivated is fun and rewarding. Every day is a cultural exchange.

SECURITY: The world is a long, long, long way from English saturation. This is a job that's going to be there. This is a job where they want people, they really really want people, they will arrange things so you can get there. Have you ever gone to job interview feeling like you had to beg? This is a job where recruiters get paid for finding qualified people.

Qualifications: 4 year university level BA. English is preferred but totally unnecessary.

NO ATTTACHMENTS: Although some outfits make provisions for kids, etc. you really don't want a family in the little apartment they give you.

Dr Strangelove is offline Dr Strangelove
King
USA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:18
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Alright people, I think we got us a plan! Now all we need is the vict....errrrr, I mean the fortunate job applicant. PH, are you still there? PH?

devilmunchkin is offline devilmunchkin
Warlord
first circle of the inferno
Jul 2001
time: 05:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:22
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provost: therapy takes TIME to work. it also takes work..and then some more work...and working on it is never done...i've been in therapy since age two trying to get thru life....and i've just gotten to the point where my behavior had changed, although my insides are the same..
it takes time...to work. also, maybe it is a chemical imbalance you have, although i think what you have sounds like good 'ol frustration at your life not going like you want it too. you might consider getting back into the phd thing....make a chart and way the pros and cons of the options you have before you...life is going to make you eat ****..over and over before it gets better
i'm here for ya bud....

gamenaught is offline gamenaught
Settler

Apr 2002
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:24
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Meds. Lots of 'em if needed.

I suffered many years w depression. Went through a couple of doctors who were timid in their meds approach. The third one was very aggressive and it worked. Probably saved my life. Sure, I'd rather not have this salad of chemicals filtering through my brain but it sure beats a bullet.

Urban Ranger is offline Urban Ranger
Apolyton Duke of Off-Topic

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The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
May 1999
time: 13:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:28
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Rich, my suggestion for you is to become a volunteer. Being a volunteer rebuilds you and boosts your confidence because of your ability to achieve things.

I reckon your depression stems from your perception of your own inability to achieve. So go out today and become a volunteer. Red Cross, Oxfam, whatever. Find a reputable organisation that fits you.

Go now.

Boris Godunov is offline Boris Godunov
King
Portland, OR
Aug 2001
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:30
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Seeker, while good advice for someone seeking something different to do, I wouldn't really recommend that path for someone suffering from depression. Moving to a foreign country with a very different and perhaps initially uncomfortable culture where one knows no one and is thousands of miles away from loved ones might not help such a person.

TCO is offline TCO
Emperor
Richmond, VA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:42
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Get a workout program. Get buff like the gayboys.

molly bloom is offline molly bloom
Prince
Lundenwic
Oct 2001
time: 15:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 09:44
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Provost, you have my very earnest sympathies. I have had the black dog of clinical depression hound me twice for extended periods, and it isn't easy shaking it off.

I exercised regularly- not competitive sports but weight training and circuit training. The ensuing endorphin rush is a tremendous alleviator of depression, and not only that, you also get a better looking body to boot. If you like swimming, all the better. The fitter you are, the fitter you feel, the more sexually self-confident you are likely to feel. Your sex drive should certainly increase.

I also recommend getting some sunshine. Never underestimate the power of seasonal affective depression- the Inuits know about it. I had a short holiday in Morocco when I was at a low ebb, and the sunshine, fantastic food and change of scenery, and the effort required to speak in French or Arabic or Spanish meant I couldn't dwell on depressive thoughts.

As you say, breaking the cycle is necessary, because eventually deep-seated depression becomes the snake biting its tail- the worse you feel about yourself, the less you are likely to feel able to do anything about the depression. You have to itemize the depressive elements, and not think about all of them at the same time- they aren't all equally important, but each may be occupying an inordinately large position in your mind, together preventing you from dealing with them separately.

Also- the tricyclics do help some people, so think of medication not as an end in itself, but as only one footfall on your path to recovery. Strangely enough, religious music (gregorian chant, Hildegard of Bingen's works, choral music) does have a calming effect- not so much the lyrical content but the sound registers and intervals. I do recommend it, and also meditation if you know of anywhere that offers courses. Also, consider tai chi or yoga- both have a rejuvenating effect.

My best wishes for a speedy resolution.

Dr Strangelove is offline Dr Strangelove
King
USA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 10:00
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quote:
Originally posted by Boris Godunov
Seeker, while good advice for someone seeking something different to do, I wouldn't really recommend that path for someone suffering from depression. Moving to a foreign country with a very different and perhaps initially uncomfortable culture where one knows no one and is thousands of miles away from loved ones might not help such a person.


Well Gee Boris, Canada is one of the Queen's own Dominions you know. I'm sure the colonials would treat a real Briton like PH like a visiting god.

More seriously, working on a small career change, i.e., from professional biochemistry to teaching chemistry might be just the ticket for PH. From some of the responses on this thread I take it that he could go back to school for merely one year to get a teaching certificate and then he'd be set.

PH, if you're depressed to the extent that you're having trouble concentrating, feeling apathetic, having problems sleeping and / or contemplating suicide it would be a good idea to see your doctor and begin treatment first.

Boris Godunov is offline Boris Godunov
King
Portland, OR
Aug 2001
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 10:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Dr Strangelove


Well Gee Boris, Canada is one of the Queen's own Dominions you know. I'm sure the colonials would treat a real Briton like PH like a visiting god.


Umm, Seeker was talking about PH going to teach English in an Asian country...

TCO is offline TCO
Emperor
Richmond, VA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 10:14
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PH,

It's kind of natural that you lost a lot of structure when you dropped out of the Ph.D. program. I know it's hard...

Urban Ranger is offline Urban Ranger
Apolyton Duke of Off-Topic

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May 1999
time: 13:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 11:31
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Another thing you can do, Provost, is to pick up a form of martial arts. With your build and appearance, you make a formidable opponent in the Tiger form.

loinburger is offline loinburger
Emperor
Sweet Sauce Jones
Jul 1999
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 11:36 Visit loinburger's homepage!
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I'll second the martial arts suggestion. In my experience the ass-kicking part isn't too helpful in terms of avoiding or breaking out of depression, but the concentration/meditation skills gained are extremely useful.

chegitz guevara is offline chegitz guevara
King
Ft. Lauderdale, FL Communist Party of Apolyton
Jun 2000
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 11:42 Visit chegitz guevara's homepage!
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Meds, definately to start. Then you should look into counseling, if that's for you (and for many it is). I've never been able to trust a counselor after my first. She's the only one I ever trusted, and since then they've either been idiots or I simply felt that their concern for me was faked. Hell, you have to pay them to listen to you, they're rent-a-friends.

That said, however, they are also full of insights into human nature. They may help you learn things about yourself and your behavior that are hurting you. Don't simply accept the first therapist you find, shop around 'till you find one you feel comfortable with.

But definately start with meds. Two weeks into my zoloft it was like a heavy blanket was lifted from me.

Rufus T. Firefly is offline Rufus T. Firefly
Prince
is one way of saying it, though I prefer "mensch"
Sep 2000
time: 07:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 11:55
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First of all, Provost, let me echo others' support. I've gone through periods of depression (the most serious -- surprise! -- while finishing my Ph.D.), and it can be hellish. I found therapy helped, but it did take time (devilmunchkin's right). I never was on meds, but have friends whose lives have been changed, perhaps even saved, by Prozac. Medication seems well worth loking into.

With regard to career, or at least a job: Think about teaching abroad. There are elite, English-language schools all over the world, and with your scienticif background you could teach in one; at my daugter's school, the pay is good (and in hard currency), the housing free, the vacations generous, and the kids generally bright and cooperative. From what I've heard about some other places -- Qatar and the UAE in particular -- you can teach high school and live like a prince.

Teaching may not be for you. But I'll also say this: living abroad, away from all the entanglements and general bullsh!t of the life you've lived so far, can be very,very focusing -- especially when not knowing the local language initially helps you tune out much of life's extraneous noise. Turkey hasn't been the best 3 years of my life, but it's been the 3 in which I've come to know myself best and gotten most "centered" (if you can bear that dreadful Californian word). Think about it.

Ned is offline Ned
Prince
of Aptos, CA
Oct 1999
time: 21:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 11:58
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Provost, I have two thoughts:

1) Exercise and a lot of it. Physical fitness breeds confidence.

2) Join the army.

Dis is offline Dis
Emperor
Las Vegas, Nevada
Feb 2000
time: 21:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 13:05 Visit Dis's homepage!
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gosh, I really don't have any advice. I once suffered from that.

What helped me? Work a job I'm overqualified for so I feel superior to everyone else . Although I do get depressed sometimes by the fact I don't make much money . But I have no job worries. I'm great at my job and I enjoy doing it.

I do get depressed sometimes but it doesn't last more than a few hours. I do have some wild mood swings as well. Happier than I've ever been in my life to lonely and depressed.

But overall I'm the happiest I've been the last 10 years.

Excersize also helps. I have trouble keeping up. Since my vacation I haven't been working out. I am still losing weight though. Being thin again feels so freakin' good. Although I still have another 15 pounds to lose. I still lose weight without working out because I eat less and don't drink soda anymore. I put in less than 2000 calories a day. Takes discipline but I have that- I was in the military after all.

But seriously you may consider changing careers. Sure making money is important for meeting women. But you can always just tell them you make a lot of money like I do. I don't consider it a lie because what I make I consider a lot of money because I grew up poor. Most other people wouldn't consider it that much. It's a matter of opinion.

Park Avenue is offline Park Avenue
Emperor
Liberal and defender of freedoms for the people
Oct 1999
time: 05:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 15:08
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Provost, one last thing from me - can you tell us when you next get access which of these pieces of advice you are going to do.

Sikander is offline Sikander
King
Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Jan 2000
time: 22:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 16:11
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I'm glad to see so many people who have suffered from clinical depression chipping in here. Their advice has been very good IMO. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this disease, please shut your pie holes. It's nice that you hope PH gets better and all, but you don't know what you are talking about. He can't just snap out of it. If it was a matter of lack of willpower he never would have made it as far in his studies as he already has. Doing things he likes isn't going to help because he is so depressed he can't even enjoy them. This isn't just a case of the blues, he's been depressed for as long as I have seen him post here, and I'm glad that he is considering taking the sort of steps necessary to deal with it.

Clinical depression is a killer, and you have to take it very seriously as a medical problem. This seems to be a chemical imbalance problem, and I think that PH is well aware of what is going on. He needs to find proper medical help, preferably from a psychiatrist. My girlfriend is so much better since she has been taking prozac. The mild side affects are well worth being able to get out of bed, go to work, and enjoy all the things that you used to enjoy. It's been a lifesaver for so many people, and I hope you join them in rediscovering the numerous joys that life can hold for you when you are healthy.

Sloth is offline Sloth
Warlord

Jul 1999
time: 06:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 19:04
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I strongly agree with what Sikander said. Believe me, I have, unfortunately, a long experience in the matter.

One piece of advice I can add is: try not to get discouraged when the medicaments at first don't work. I know for a fact that Prozac can take up to a month before having any effect and it is easy to loose confidence, especially as your illness hampers your ability to hope.
One more thing: when you'll feel better DON'T STOP TAKING MEDICATIONS WITHOUT BEEING TOLD TO DO SO BY YOUR DOCTOR!!!.
Unfortunately an abrupt stop can bring back depression with a vengeance, and it's therefore very dangerous.

Dr Strangelove is offline Dr Strangelove
King
USA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 19:34
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One of the reasons why your recent interviews have been going badly might be because you're depressed, so getting treatment before starting anything else makes sense.

Urban Ranger is offline Urban Ranger
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  Old Post 18-12-2002 20:33
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Whatever he chooses to do, he should act on it right away. Going abroad, seeing a doctor, whatever. But just do it.

TCO is offline TCO
Emperor
Richmond, VA
Jan 1970
time: 00:24
  Old Post 18-12-2002 21:01
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Veternary school? You like biology and blood and animals. And there's loads of chicks.

 
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