03-01-2003 07:40									#151
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Urban,

Thanks for the firsthand info.

So, what is the weather like where you live now? Did you notice a big difference in energy?

	03-01-2003 07:58									#152
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Maybe I just had a mild case. Whatever it had been, it went away - I spent some winter months in Vancouver several years later and it didn't hit me.

Weather here is cold - acutally just cool by normal standards, but we don't have indoor heating so it feels cold. Went hiking on New Year's day with my SO. It was a fine day except for the high winds and I survived. I am also doing all right in my MBA degree, so it's not too bad energy wise. Just mentally lazy

	03-01-2003 08:10									#153
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the only problems I had were when it rained for days on end. I think it rained for like 11 days in Virginia once. But really Virginia wasn't that bad. Much better than Seattle.

It's kind of weird. When I was in the navy, I rarely went to the weather decks. I often went several weeks without seeing the sun. This never really bothered me. I was so busy working, I never really got depressed.

The only time I got depressed not seeing the sun was when I was on land (or on the ship in port).

	03-01-2003 08:17									#154
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Well, I was a ****ing mess just like you PH until I finally prayed a last ditch prayer full of the dispair that had taken over my existance. I wasn't going to commit suicide but I was going to shut down and give up. So, tell me to shut up, call me an *******, I don't care. Jesus Christ spared my life like night and day.

It isn't logical, I can't explain the ****ing dinosaurs, but I don't give a crap, I got my ass pulled out of a ditch and that's all I need to know.

	03-01-2003 17:19									#155
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I wouldn't go recommending religion to PH, Lancer.

	03-01-2003 17:19									#156
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quote: Originally posted by Lancer Jesus Christ spared my life like night and day.

How?

Well at least He hasn't interfered with your sence of humour


But I think that is something that I will never understand and you probably cannot explain either.

I'm glad though.

Some of the happiest people on this earth are religious people who are not dogmatic. I've seen quite a few. A very nice sight.

	03-01-2003 19:09									#157
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I got filled with peace, it's hard to explain. I'd never felt so good before or since as that short time. It wasn't MY feeling, I had no peace. I stopped praying and layed down on my bed thinking, of all things, if this doesn't stop I'll never be able to work in the morning, and went right to sleep. In the morning I had no more dispair, I was happy. Joyful might be a better word though out of use a bit. The thing is, any time someone brings up a really good and logical arguement against religion I think back to those few minutes...I have really no doubt, how could I? I try to stay out of threads argueing religion...it's unpeaceful, and so am I, I mean, who the **** am I? I figure it was some kind of cosmic snafu and there's a good guy out threre that really got screwed.


paiktis, there aren't alot of people out there who would have thought to ask your question...

	03-01-2003 19:50									#158
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What! Are we still on about this? He's probably over it by now.

	03-01-2003 19:55									#159
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LOL, I hope this thread lasts longer than the actual depression that sparked it...

	03-01-2003 21:06									#160
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Provost, we like that you write here, we like that you exist, we need your opinions. Remember that always, at least, you will have yourself.

You're a part of Apolyton, and we caN'T be the "ultimate" website without you, we aren't the "quite near the..." one

	03-01-2003 22:12									#161
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Well I was going to bump this thread after I have visited the doctor which is next Tuesday (damn Christmas, I couldn't get an earlier appointment). Now for SAD...well the dull miserable weather doesn't help, but I wouldn't say it makes a significant difference - I have this summer or winter.

I haven't put anything else in this thread for a week or so because at the moment there is nothing to say that I haven't said. I will of course keep you briefed on any happenings, which can only start from next Tuesday...things certainly haven't lifted, there may be more difficult spots and easier spots, but it is still there like it has been for a long time...

Thankyou Lancer, but 'letting God into my life' is certainly not something I could do, nor want. My mind just doesn't work like that...

	03-01-2003 22:38									#162
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Now I certainly do get SAD. In buckets. It's nothing like clinical depression- it's great brooding sulks that last for days. It makes me very irritable, and generally an evil old sod.

Tried a light-box, but it made me feel like a ****. Used Kava-kava, which was brilliant but the useless bastards in the government have banned it. I'm back on SDt John's Wort now.

	03-01-2003 22:41									#163
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SAD is bullocks indeed as Laz characterized. At least to me.

I have lived years abroad on FAR less sunny countries than Greece where I grew up and it never did anything to me.

	03-01-2003 22:43									#164
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And all the people were complaining and saying: wow lucky in greece you have sun.

but sun is in the heart (can i get more cheezy?)

on the contrary i have developed a pleasure with rain.

	03-01-2003 22:45									#165
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That is cheesy. Have you ever thought of encorporating 'sun is in the heart' into a eurodance chart topper?

	03-01-2003 22:50									#166
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quote: Originally posted by paiktis22 SAD is bullocks indeed as Laz characterized. At least to me. I have lived years abroad on FAR less sunny countries than Greece where I grew up and it never did anything to me.

Bloody bastard!

There are people who never brush their teeth in their whole lives and never get a cavity.

	03-01-2003 23:01									#167
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Well I did get a cavity

For a year I was very close to what PH is going through. In the second year of the university.
Then I kind of "woken up" (dont know how else to describe it) and started putting order in my life.

In 3 months after that I had a part time job a girlfriend and was passing all the exams with top grades.

Thats all after I met my (then) girlfriend.

That time of my life taught a great deal of things.


thats why im reluctant with all that medication things.

but each case IS different and i'll be ****ed if i give any advice that can be false/misleading on this issue.

	03-01-2003 23:04									#168
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There's your answer. Get a girlfriend.

	03-01-2003 23:09									#169
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well it certaintly did wonders for me.

but now that i think about it the "process" of putting things in order had started a few months before. Just like that.

And then when I also met my girlfirend it kind of "exploded" to very nice living and personal order.

	03-01-2003 23:16									#170
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quote: Originally posted by DaShi There's your answer. Get a girlfriend.

	04-01-2003 00:00									#171
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i've read about sad before but i just dismissed it. maybe i have that who knows... my depression only really started getting bad after i moved to around seattle though(from ky).

	04-01-2003 04:22									#172
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Laz,

I don't know what they sell in UK but here they have 5-HTP and also SAM-e that are supposed to help with mood. I haven't tried these personally, and I have read that you should cycle the 5-HTP on and off. They are both over the counter supplements.

I'd have to respectfully disagree with the girlfriend thing.

	04-01-2003 15:37									#173
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5-HTP? Is that 5-HT which is 5-hydroxytryptamine which is serotonin which is what antidepressants boost the level of anyway...well, whatever I suppose...

	04-01-2003 15:40									#174
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How are things these days, Rich?

	04-01-2003 15:51									#175
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"My mind just doesn't work like that"

-Believe me, I understand, niether does mine... but here I am, thank God.

Offer # 238,759...Well, there's always the Philippine trip in a couple of years...there's nothing like a subsistance community for teaching hope and happiness when there is no reason for it. Save your schillings, or whatever you use over there...lira...

	04-01-2003 16:21									#176
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We're still on the pound at the moment Lancer, although probably Euro's very soon.

I am managing Asher, just waiting for that doctors appointment. Not much to report really, just waiting...I applied for information off two jobs, but when your faith is that low you don't generally see much point in bothering as they'll just throw it back in your face anyway...

	05-01-2003 06:13									#177
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quote: Originally posted by Provost Harrison 5-HTP? Is that 5-HT which is 5-hydroxytryptamine which is serotonin which is what antidepressants boost the level of anyway...well, whatever I suppose...

It's not serotonin but it works in conjunction with seratonin. Many people have used it as a replacement of their anti-depressant. It also will help you sleep and can help curb appetite.

quote: 5-HTP (5-Hydroxytryptophan) is a metabolite of the amino acid tryptophan. It is the direct precursor of the neurotransmitter serotonin. 5-HTP differs from tryptophan in that it slightly increases the activity of an energizing neurotransmitter, norepinephrine, as well as the calming one, serotonin.1 In some clinical trials, 5-HTP outperformed tryptophan in treating mood disorders.(2) The greater the agitation associated with depression, the more likely the response to 5-HTP.

http://www.mineralconnection.com/5htp2.htm

	05-01-2003 06:19									#178
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That is quite interesting actually, I know that there needs to be some control of the noradrenergic systems too. There is a newer type of antidepressant (SSNI) which boosts both noradrenalin and serotonin levels directly, although an SSRI has this effect anyway.

	05-01-2003 07:24									#179
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Rich, I think I remember having a similar discussion with you a good few years ago, when I was at uni and very depressed. i.e. spending all day every day drinking and smoking pot, and usually sleeping in the day to avoid people.

I now feel different. Not very different, and I am still prone to bouts of severe depression. Rather than constantly being down, I now tend to be a lot more schizo/bipolar in my depression, mood swinging like a monkey on speed... but nevertheless I am clearly 'better' than before, I no longer reside in a seemingly inescapable pit of darkness (all the time ).

Personally, the three greatest things which have ever happened to me are:

1. Getting a girlfriend.
2. Travelling
3. Getting into Taoism

Ok so this is me. I cannot say anything is a magical 'cure'. In fact I don't believe in a cure - if you don't get depressed you ain't human.
But connecting on the deepest level with another human has enormous effects on your self-esteem, though I admit this is only one aspect of depression.
Travelling is amazing. Go somewhere, on your own. If you think you can't learn anything new, you can, and the way to do it is travelling. When travelling you have no obligation to anyone. You can be anyone you like and most people you meet will not expect you to be anyone.
Taoism is truth, as much as truth is possible. I found huge solace in the words of the Tao Te Ching when I broke up with the aformentioned girlfriend. I also buggered off to Vietnam on my own (see travelling). Taoism does not preach. Taoism does nothing. It is the truth of nothingness. All very existentialist.

Anyway, I am really not a fan of anti-depressents in any form. I've never used them, but I've known a few people who have, one who was seriously suicidal. Most of them had little effect, and none of them considered them helpful in retrospect. The most common reports were of hightened confusion and paranoia, habitual compulsive addiction to the use of anti-depressants or simply no effect.

Depression, IMHO, is not chemical, or at least only partly chemical. Messing with your brain chemistry ain't gonna help in the long run. This may sound wacky, but have you tried smoking pot? I admit I am a big druggy, but this is a very serious suggestion, I'm not saying this for kicks. If you really feel the need to f*ck with your brain, use something passive, natural and with thousands of years of medicinal use behind, not the latest money-making gimmic from the big pharmacuticals.
Pot is not the answer, particularly long term, but it's better than chemicals.

	05-01-2003 07:37									#180
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I can't believe I hadn't seen this thread earlier. I've been in a similar position for the last year or two I think, although far milder, by the looks of it.

I've been trying to graduate for months now, but I just can't seem to get into it, and it's really time to make some decisions, but all I do is hang around watching TV and browsing through 'Poly, basically. And I have an extremely irregular sleeping pattern too, not to mention an utter lack of friends (or much social contact whatsoever)...

But I am attending a weekly group for those trying to graduate, and I'm by far the youngest, all the others are in their 8th or later year and should really get done by now, while I'm really not that far behind on schedule.
The only incentive I had earlier was getting to Japan, but that isn't going to happen this year either since I got rejected for the scholarship about 6 moths ago (I'm still following a course in Japanese though, which I enjoy, but as with the rest don't actually do much for, except for going to the weekly lesson).

I really have the idea I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing to get out of this, but I just can't seem to start. I want to go swimming (at least once a week), and the pool's right across the street so I have no excuses there, I want to get a temp job (me working on my thesis usually ends up being just one or two unproductive days per week, so I could just as well start doing something more to get myself going again, some more social interaction, more work and more exercise should give me better spirit the rest of the time to work on my thesis)...

But that's all talk... whenever I end up having to go do something I escape to PC, TV or a book, or I go grovel in self-pity and decide I'm going to have to do something...

What does your week look like PH? Do you work 5 days a week, 9 to 5? And you say you're regularly visiting friends, do you talk to them about this, or do you just go there to have fun?

If you're planning to go do some sports, maybe we could plan together... Pick a date and time for when to look into the details, get things sorted and start training!

In any case, good luck! You can do it (and I can too), I'm sure of it! Everybody loves you!