31-07-2003 19:11									#1
	Women changing their names when married? Tired of ads?

Change? Don't change? Hyphenate?

If you're married, what did your wife do in this regard? Was it her decision or a consensus? Did it cause any arguments?

If you're not married, what are your feelings on this matter? Would you rather the lovely lady in queston changed her name?

Personally, I wouldn't care either way. In fact, if anything, I would prefer it if she DIDN'T change her name .... I think that'd just be a bit freaky .... it'd feel like I was ****ing my sister or something.

And before anyone asks: No, I have no plans to get married in the immediate future.

	31-07-2003 19:19									#2
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Women should change their name because after they're married they belong to their husbands.

	31-07-2003 19:21									#3
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I am not sure if I care.

	31-07-2003 19:23									#4
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My friend's wife changed her name to Beelzebub Dark Lord of Hell, most strange.

	31-07-2003 19:25									#5
	Tired of ads?

traditionally, korean women do not change their surnames when they get married.

imho, however, whether the woman changes her name or not is her decision. if my future wife decides to keep her name, or hyphenate it, or change it, it's fine with me. i don't plan on changing my last name, thus i don't expect or particularly desire her to change hers.
(although i understand the husband changing names is common in some other cultures?)

	31-07-2003 19:27									#6
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It's a harmless tradition. Heck, I am a guy, and sometimes I wish I could change my name when I get married. Some of the women that I have dated have had such cool last name, so much cooler than mine.

	31-07-2003 19:27									#7
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I'd rather change my own name. Well, depending on who I marry I guess.... but it shouldn't be hard to beat the name I have.

EDIT: What am I talking about? I'm not going to get married.

	31-07-2003 19:28									#8
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It obviously depends on the feelings of the couple in question. But generally, if one name is cool and the other common/unspellable then the other party may well chose to go for it, doesn't matter whether it's the male or the female. My sister's husband changed his name from the hard-to-remember-and-spell Kaunismäki to my sister's Pollak, because it was a cooler name. Another one of my relatives' husband went from Larsson to the more unusual Füri... But the other way as implied here is fine too.

	31-07-2003 19:28									#9
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Is there some kind of marriage zeitgiest here on Ape?

Anyway, don't change and don't hyphenate. Women are recognized as people now.

	31-07-2003 19:31									#10
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My wife took my name.
I'm very happy with that because it makes things easy. We're two people of the same house and we have the same name.

If we might ever get any children they'll have the same name as well. It'll keep things simple.

It's a tradition that the woman takes the man's name, but if my wife would have refused that I would have token hers. Just to be sure to have the same name.

I hate it when I call to a colleague in example, and then someone with a strange name takes the phone. I'm not sure, is it his wife? His girlfriend? His housekeeper or did I just dial the wrong number?

But indeed, it doesn't matter much if two maried people don't share the same name, but I just like it to keep things simple.

	31-07-2003 19:31									#11
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The weird thing is when her name gets changed even if you're not married. When we moved in together she sorted out the utility bills and explained we weren't married. I pay the bills.

We get an electricity bill addressed to "Mrs (her surname)", a gas bill addressed to "Mrs (my surname) and a water bill in both our names.

I suppose this says more about the quality of staff employed by the utility companies than anything.

	31-07-2003 19:31									#12
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Poly! Ape?

	31-07-2003 19:31									#13
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quote: Originally posted by The Templar Is there some kind of marriage zeitgiest here on Ape? Anyway, don't change and don't hyphenate. Women are recognized as people now.

But how do you prove ownership if she gets lost and handed in to the police station?

	31-07-2003 19:35									#14
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quote: Originally posted by CyberShy I just like it to keep things simple.

Two names in one head?! No-one can live at that speed!
[/Izzard]

	31-07-2003 19:36									#15
	Remove this text

quote: Originally posted by reds4ever But how do you prove ownership if she gets lost and handed in to the police station?

Brand her ass with your sign.

	31-07-2003 19:37									#16
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quote: Originally posted by reds4ever But how do you prove ownership if she gets lost and handed in to the police station?

Isn't yours microchipped?

	31-07-2003 19:37									#17
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My friend's wife took his name: now she's called Mike....

	31-07-2003 19:38									#18
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quote: Originally posted by CyberShy My wife took my name. I'm very happy with that because it makes things easy. We're two people of the same house and we have the same name. If we might ever get any children they'll have the same name as well. It'll keep things simple. It's a tradition that the woman takes the man's name, but if my wife would have refused that I would have token hers. Just to be sure to have the same name. I hate it when I call to a colleague in example, and then someone with a strange name takes the phone. I'm not sure, is it his wife? His girlfriend? His housekeeper or did I just dial the wrong number? But indeed, it doesn't matter much if two maried people don't share the same name, but I just like it to keep things simple.

	31-07-2003 19:38									#19
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quote: Originally posted by CerberusIV Isn't yours microchipped?

I'm TRYING to lose mine!

	31-07-2003 19:38									#20
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Hyphenate. My desicion.

	31-07-2003 19:47									#21
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quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed traditionally, korean women do not change their surnames when they get married. imho, however, whether the woman changes her name or not is her decision. if my future wife decides to keep her name, or hyphenate it, or change it, it's fine with me. i don't plan on changing my last name, thus i don't expect or particularly desire her to change hers. (although i understand the husband changing names is common in some other cultures?)

My wife adopted my last name.
I expressed no opinion either way as I felt it was completely up to her.
Culturally, it is still common to do so in Canada-- I don't have any stats but my feeling is that a vast majority of women have changed their names but that the proportion that do so is declining. I'd estimate about half of the 20-somethings I see get married now, change their name

I always disliked hyphenation since next generation we have Smith-Jones marrying Skoropat-Noormohamed . . Do they hyphenate again? Plus hyphenated names are hell when filling out government forms. I have seen some women tack on their husbands name at the end of their name while retaining their former surname in the middle

	31-07-2003 19:50									#22
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So, it's LTEC-Great?

	31-07-2003 19:50									#23
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er, to clarify: this:

quote: traditionally, korean women do not change their surnames when they get married.

that happens in korea, where it's expected that they won't. here in the states, to make things simpler, a good deal of them adopt their husband's surnames... then again, many of them also take "americanized" names as well.

	31-07-2003 19:52									#24
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Laura kept her last name, no arguments, but the child(ren) have my last name.

	31-07-2003 20:05									#25
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Ok... what about if there is a divorce? Should the woman take her old name back?

Mine didn't....

And on the subjects of cool last names...

I once dated a girl with the last name of Cruzen. Thought about combining the names for awhile.... Car-Cruzen.

	31-07-2003 22:12									#26
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I'm going to make my wife change her name to Annie the Maid

	31-07-2003 22:14									#27
	Full PM-box? Change here!

I would be pissed to the point of calling off the marriage if she didn't want my last name. In my mind it is part of getting married and a symbol of our new life together. If she digs in on something so simple and fundimental then it's clear that hard times are ahead.

Last edited by Oerdin on 31-07-2003 at 22:20

	31-07-2003 22:23									#28
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Up to her, really... but I'd perfer he keeping her maiden name. I think it's silly for her to have to change her name... after all that's what is on her diploma's .

quote: I would be pissed to the point of calling off the marriage if she didn't want my last name.

Mysogynist!

	31-07-2003 22:23									#29
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I don't care, but I would suggest that sharing a surname would create more of a symbolic bond.

	31-07-2003 22:27									#30
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actually I can care less if the woman takes my name.

but I would insist the children have my last name.