14-08-2003 21:50									#31
	Tired of ads?

HUGE MASS ERUPTS FROM MARS
"Chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one," Scientist claims.

	14-08-2003 21:51									#32
	Increase Your PM Length

LAKERS WIN SUPERBOWL! next day:

SPORT'S EDITOR LOSES JOB.

ANT OVERLORD DOUBLES SUGAR RATION, CUTS BACK DAIRY ONE.

	14-08-2003 21:53									#33
	Suffering from ads?

WORLD ENDED YESTERDAY

	14-08-2003 21:55									#34
	Tired of ads?

WAR ON SPAM LOST!!!

	14-08-2003 21:57									#35
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NYC TO STATE OF NEW YORK: DROP DEAD!.

FOX NEWS LOSES FALSE ADVERTISING CLAIM: NO LONGER "FAIR AND BALANCED".

NYPOST FILES FOR CHAPTER 11: DAILY NEWS BUYOUT POSSIBLE, NEWSDAY EYES POST.

12TH STRAIGHT DAY OF GOOD WEATHER MEANS BETTER PROFITS FOR OUTDOOR CAFFE'S.

	14-08-2003 22:00									#36
	most likely Inflate your Upload Space

MULTIPLE LAWSUITS FILED VER CALIFORNIA RECALL ELECTION.

not as likely:

WITH PORNSTAR AS GOVERNOR, WILL LEGISLATURE LISTEN?

	14-08-2003 22:01									#37
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ARNOLD WINS BY A LANDSLIDE 2% OF THE VOTE

	14-08-2003 22:04									#38
	better yet Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

ARNOLD GOVERNORSHIP MEANS NO NEW ARNOLD MOVIES.

TED KENNEDY BREAKS BEER BOTTLE ON DELAY'S HEAD DURING DRUNKEN CONGRESSIONAL SCUFFLE.

EMPEROR ZORG THE MAGIFICENT CLAIMS: EARTH WILL NOT BE HARMED. POP STARS LYNCHED TO APPEASE THE jk$^&$^%#'S.

	14-08-2003 22:08									#39
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BBC STOCK UP, BOOK AND MAGAZINE DIVISIONS LEAD EARNINGS GROWTH


SECRETARY WOLFOWITZ ON HIS WAY OUT


LORD BLAIR RESIGNS FROM EU PRESIDENCY

DC SWEEPS SERIES

	14-08-2003 22:08									#40
	Put an end to popups!

AN INDIVIDUAL ONLY KNOWN AS KORN469 PATENTS A CURE FOR ALL DISEASES

	14-08-2003 22:11									#41
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

YYYH is finally freed from Mingapulco and allowed to use his old log in again.

	14-08-2003 22:13									#42
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

CHIRAC: JE REGRETTE

	14-08-2003 22:14									#43
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TOM DELAY LIGHTS CIGAR: BURNED AS A WITCH BY CONSTITUENTS FOR "PRODUCING DEVIL-FIRE FROM HIS FINGERTIPS."

STATEN ISLAND SECEDES - MAYOR SAYS "GOOD RIDDANCE."

	14-08-2003 22:34									#44
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

WAKE UP, YOU'RE DREAMING

SADDAM HUSSEIN ELECTED PRESIDENT OF FRANCE

CUBS DEFEAT BOSOX IN GAME 7 OF THE WORLD SERIES

URANUS, LARGER THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT

GAY PRIDE PARADE CANCELLED DUE TO ARMANI SALE

	14-08-2003 22:38									#45
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SADDAM´S MOUSTACHE FOUND!

	14-08-2003 22:52									#46
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US BOOTS OLD CONFEDERATE STATES OUT OF UNION.
Johnson, Carter, Clinton, Bush Sr and JR... We just can't take any more of this - THE NORTH

	14-08-2003 22:55									#47
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good stuff

	14-08-2003 22:55									#48
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

CATS: "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US".

/obvious

	14-08-2003 22:59									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Richelieu US BOOTS OLD CONFEDERATE STATES OUT OF UNION. Johnson, Carter, Clinton, Bush Sr and JR... We just can't take any more of this - THE NORTH

If only ...

	14-08-2003 23:10									#50
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Hey now...I'd be in those former confed states...

(You should add me to the "can't take any more of this" list then )

RIAA DISBANDS
"We were wrong, we suck, we quit this ****" says spokesperson

CHENEY FOUND

FOX NEWS CORROSPONDENTS CRACK ON CAMERA
"Oh oh oh, like we actually believe this Ann Coulter nut!" Revealed that it was just an elaborate gag gone wild.

FINLAND ABSORBS EUROPE
Megapower to vie for world domination against the UN and US...Poll: 95% of Americans asking "What the hell is Finland?"

CNN: CNN IS A BAD NEWS SOURCE
CNN admits it has its faults to CNN in a breaking-news CNN update

BUSH THROWS STICK
Tony Blair fetches

MICROSOFT ADMITS EVIL INTENTIONS
Even though its products are "spawn of Satan himself," 95% of computer users still use them unphased

CALIFORNIA SLIDES INTO OCEAN
Celebrations around the world--pages 5 through 23

	14-08-2003 23:12									#51
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ENGLAND WINS WORLD CUP AT WEMBLEY, PANDAMONIUM ENSUES

PEACE DEAL FINALIZED, PALESTINE ADMITTED TO UN

HIV INFECTION RATE DOWN IN AFRICA, GOVERNMENT AWARENESS PROGRAMS CITED

SOCCER NOW MORE POPULAR THAN BASKETBALL IN U.S., POLL DATA INDICATES

FOX FILES FOR CHAPTER 11

PRESIDENT UNVEILS PLAN TO PAY DOWN NATIONAL DEBT, CLAIMS BILL WILL PASS

US TROOPS BORED, "NOTHING TO DO" CLAIMS PRIVATE JOHNSON

quote: US BOOTS OLD CONFEDERATE STATES OUT OF UNION. Johnson, Carter, Clinton, Bush Sr and JR... We just can't take any more of this - THE NORTH

Except the Bushies are Connecticut Yankees, really, IIRC.

	14-08-2003 23:18									#52
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

BOOZE AND CHEESEBURGERS FOUND TO INCREASE LIFE SPAN

GWB: "I REALLY HAVE NO FRICKIN' IDEA WHAT I'M DOING"

SADDAM AND OSAMA VOW TO DEVOTE THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TO DESTROYING EACH OTHER

USA JOINS EU, SOLDIERS COME HOME

CURE FOR CANCER, AIDS, AND UNWANTED PREGNANCY DISCOVERED, BEER INVOLVED.

	14-08-2003 23:26									#53
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

UNSC WELCOMES IRAQI GOVERNING COUNCIL, 14-0.

Oh wait, that just happened.

	14-08-2003 23:30									#54
	Get a bigger avatar today!

MICKEY MOUSE BECOMES GOVENOR OF CALIFORNIA
Massive voter fraud in Main Street USA in Disneyland alleged. Donald Duck to investigate.

	14-08-2003 23:54									#55
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

CNN MAKES MANAGEMENT CHANGES RESULTING IN ACTUAL NEWSWORTHY TOPICS

	15-08-2003 00:03									#56
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

"REPUBLICAN GENE" DISCOVERED BY DUTCH SCIENTISTS: EXTINCTION OF RACE EXPECTED IN TIME FOR 2004 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS

	15-08-2003 00:05									#57
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quote: STATEN ISLAND SECEDES - MAYOR SAYS "GOOD RIDDANCE."

	15-08-2003 00:08									#58
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

SURRENDURING NEO-CONFEDERATES STUNNED THAT THE CIVIL WAR ENDED OVER A CENTURY AGO

	15-08-2003 00:10									#59
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

JLO AND BEN NO LONGER CONSIDERED ACTUAL NEWS.

NUMBER OF CITIZENS WHO KNOW WHO THEIR CONGRESSMAN IS JUMPS BY 200%.

ANT OVERLORD SAYS: MOUND NOT LARGE ENOUGH, EFFICIENCY MUST INCREASE BY 60% OR ELSE

STUYVESANT CHANGES MASCOTS: NO MORE PEGLEGS...

YALE PARTISANS BURN HARVARD DOWN: RETALIATION PLANNED.

	15-08-2003 00:11									#60
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BROOKLYN ACCENT BECOMES OFFICAIL US LANGUAGE: SOUTH SUCCEEDS AGAIN.