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Starchild
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a raving alcoholic drama queen with a penchant for the biosciences
Jan 1970
time: 00:30
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For all those questioning, wondering, and groping their sexuality, I've decided to come up with a quick and easy test that will help you determine how gay you are by comparing you to the gayest thing on Apolyton.
Me. 
Since I score a fabulous 10/10 on the homo-scale, I'll state a series of things that I do. The more of those things that you do, the higher on the gay scale you are. Anyone answering half or more is gay and can call me (email photo and sexual interests first).
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
6) I moisturise my skin.
7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
11) I use the word fabulous.
12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
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mrmitchell
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You're oozing with mantrons. I can't risk staying around this thread any longer before they start to get on to me.
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Asher
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Calgary, Alberta
Nov 1999
time: 22:30
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quote:
Originally posted by Starchild
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day. |
No. 
quote:
2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics. |
No.
quote:
3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's. |
No.
quote:
4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation. |
No.
quote:
5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing. |
No.
quote:
6) I moisturise my skin. |
Yes. But that's just good practice.
quote:
7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras. |
No.
quote:
8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak. |
No.
quote:
9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list. |
Yes.
quote:
10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous. |
Yes.
quote:
11) I use the word fabulous. |
No.
quote:
12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing? |
Yes.
quote:
13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men. |
No.
quote:
14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter. |
No.
quote:
15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety. |
Yes.
quote:
16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference* |
No.
quote:
17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini. |
No.
quote:
18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves. |
The conservative party here is backed by most gay leaders, so no.
quote:
19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay. |
Yes.
quote:
20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
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Yes.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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1Vl I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!! lV1
Oh wait, that's not what this is about, is it?
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Comrade Tassadar
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quote:
Originally posted by Starchild
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day. |
No.
quote:
2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics. |
No 
quote:
3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's. |
Who? No.
quote:
4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation. |
No.
quote:
5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing. |
No.
quote:
I Moisturise my skin. |
This is unfair as I have eczema.
quote:
7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras. |
No.
quote:
8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak. |
Who? No.
quote:
9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list. |
No.
quote:
10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous. |
No.
[QUOTE[ 11) I use the word fabulous. [/QUOTE]
No.
quote:
12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing? |
Trying to trick me into saying yes?! 
quote:
13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men. |
No.
quote:
14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter. |
No.
quote:
5) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety. |
No.
quote:
16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference* |
Who? No.
quote:
17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini. |
No.
quote:
18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves. |
I'm a communist.
quote:
19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay. |
Unable to respond.
quote:
20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men? |
AAARRRGGGHHH ANOTHER TRICK QUESTION
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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quote:
Originally posted by Starchild
1) I lipsync to disco classics in front of the mirror. At least once a day.
Nay.
quote:
2) I know all the words to most Little Mermaid songs and a fair proportion of other Disney classics.
Nay.
quote:
3) I spend hours searching music stores for discount ABBA CD's.
Nay.
quote:
4) I know what a Diva is, I use the word correctly in context, and I buy their CD's without hesitation.
Nay.
quote:
5) I got my blonde highlights dyed purple and pink. And I managed to make that match with my clothing.
Nay.
quote:
6) I moisturise my skin.
Some of it - aye.
quote:
7) I go to Gay Pride Parades. Wearing a t-shirt that says "Slut" on it. In front of TV cameras.
Nay. Mine says "Pvssy"
quote:
8) I gesture with my hands while my conversations are full of semi-obscure pop-culture references while stressing random bits. I'm so all Sarah Michelle Gellar in the way I speak.
Nay.
quote:
9) I have sex with men. In hindsight, this one should be moved higher up on the list.
aye.
quote:
10) I can be given jeans, a hawaiian shirt, and a big wooly sweater and still look fabulous.
Aye.
quote:
11) I use the word fabulous.
Nay.
quote:
12) Did I mention that sleeping with men thing?
Aye, two at a time, sometimes 3.
quote:
13) I do brunch. I drink expensive coffees just so people can see my drink them. I read political magazines like Advocate and Gay Times mainly to look at the pictures of half naked men.
NAY. I've already seen Fight Club.
quote:
14) I have, at various times, worn lipstick, eye liner, and body glitter.
aye, but it's usually on accident.
quote:
15) I use sarcasm and *****iness to hide a delicate inner soul damaged by years of isolation and anxiety.
AYE.
quote:
16) Speaking of *****iness, did you see what Sarah Jessica Parker wore the last time she was in public? Her clothing advisor so deserves an...um....argh *reaches for culture reference*
Aye, and aye. She needs a new stylist in a BAD way. So do Britney Speers and Christina Gaguilera.
quote:
17) Speaking of hiding things, a developing drugs and alcohol problem is so easily solved by another martini.
NAY.
quote:
18) The Conservative Party hates me. Says so in their Manifesto, right next to the bit where they promise to assault old ladies and drink the blood of newborns on moonlit eves.
Aye.
quote:
19) I'm out of ideas but if you agree with the one below, you must be gay.
Aye.
quote:
20) Are you sure I didn't mention I **** men?
Nay.
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Paul Hanson
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Dilbert
Aug 1999
time: 05:30
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1) No
2) I know the words to some of the Mulan and Lion King soundtracks, but that's it
3) No, but then again I'm not my mother
4) Not on your life
5) I like having brown hair, but tend to shy away from brown clothes
6) My skin gets wet in the shower every morning, but I suspect that you're refering to something else
7) I'm not photogenic enough to appear on TV
8) I use hand gestures a lot, but I think that's the continental blood in me rather than anything else
9) No. I don't have sex with women either, but this is hardly a lifestyle choice, whereas the man thing is
10) I look crap in pretty much anything other than a suit. Which is worrying.
11) No.
12) Maybe you did. I don't remember.
13) I drink Belgian beer because I happen to like the taste.
14) I have, but not not willingly.
15) I use sarcasm, but the comparison ends there.
16) I try not to look at Sarah Jessica Parker if I can avoid it.
17) Quite true.
18) They hate me too, but only because I won't vote fro them.
19) We shall see.
20) Come to think of it, you did mention it in passing.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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There's always time for lube. If you forget that, it always hurts.
We're talking about sailboats, que no?
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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Right, and the Pope doesn't poop in the woods, and Bears are never Catholic.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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My dad always looked like crap in everything but a suit as well, although I often wonder if that was a state of mind rather than a state of being.
You know, if you wear a monkey suit, you feel like a monkey. Wear your birthday suit and you feel like it's your birthday.
Depends on the uniform you choose.
Check, please.
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Zylka
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Burn this shiyaya to the effing ground and come hang out in an intelligent, cool thread!
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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You gotta go outside like that to get anything, and it might not 'quite' be what you were expecting.
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st_swithin
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10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:30
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Photoshop.
Easy peasy Japanesey.
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Apolyton Time is 00:30. |
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01-09-2003 02:47
But I can't be gay! I have a child! 
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