23-12-2003 05:28									#271
	Put an end to popups!

BAMF! You are now terrified out of your mind as you wake up aurrounded by several large Rednecks with the lead one saying "You shore do have a purty mouth Boy". ( Cue Banjo music)

I wish I had my very own Fell Beast. To ride. And it was tamed so it wouldn't attack me or my loved ones.

	23-12-2003 05:38									#272
	Increase Your PM Length

granted, but it attacks your enemies...and you go to jail under the pit bull laws

I wish my daughter would go to sleep.

	23-12-2003 05:39									#273
	Inflate your Upload Space

she does. it's just twenty years from now.

i wish i was already all packed.

	23-12-2003 08:04									#274
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

You are, but you packed yourself in your luggage and you get loaded on the airplane, just to get arrested in the airport. Christmas ruined.

I wish I starred in a movie with Jim Carrey.

	24-12-2003 01:28									#275
	Increase the size of your Attachments

You do. Unfortunately, it's a remake of the remake of the remake of The Grinch, also co-starring Rosie O'Donnell and Joan Rivers.

I wish I was a fish.

	24-12-2003 05:24									#276
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

you are. you make tasty sushi.

i wish i didn't have sand in my shoes.

	24-12-2003 05:40									#277
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Granted. The sand gets squeed together and forms into sandSTONE. ouch!

I wish I could instanteously evolve into any creature I wanted to be.

	24-12-2003 07:51									#278
	Inflate your Upload Space

You can, alas, a nearby microbe can instantaneous evlove into the most deadly disease for said creature.

I wish I didn't make Kitty scared.

	24-12-2003 08:35									#279
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Granted. You made kitty mad. And kitty has sharp claws. Ouch.

I wish I was a three-legged cat.

	24-12-2003 08:55									#280
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Granted. Unfortunatly, that Komodo Dragon that took off your Fourth leg is looking for Seconds...


I wish I had a Riding Lizard.

	24-12-2003 08:56									#281
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

Granted. But this Riding Lizard also eats legs. Yours are both gone.

I wish I could set the world's record for belching.

	25-12-2003 02:32									#282
	Got spare money?

You do, and rupture your esophagus in the process.

I wish Amelia Earheart would reappear.

	25-12-2003 12:44									#283
	Support Apolyton

She does. She's 106, has become enamoured with you, and wants your body. You can't resist her.

I wish my little girl did not take up as much room in the bed as my wife and I combined.

	25-12-2003 12:52									#284
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

granted. your wife baloons out to over 700 lbs, and takes up the entire bed herself.

i wish the winter would stay mild like it has been the last few days for me.

	26-12-2003 02:24									#285
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Granted. The winters are more mild and the summers even hotter. The polar caps melt and wash away your home.

I wish every day was Christmas.

	26-12-2003 06:18									#286
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Granted. Every day is now Christmas, and the ACLU sues everyone to make it stop.

(May the ACLU just go have a Merry Christmas...)

I wish Portugal didn't declare war on me for no reason.

	26-12-2003 10:18									#287
	Put an end to popups!

granted. portugal offers the fact that you used the salad fork at dinner, as opposed to the other one, as reason to declare war on you.

i wish i had another bottle of jack daniels.

	26-12-2003 14:39									#288
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

You do. You forgot you emptied it weeks ago.

I wish all supervisors had to pass a test guaranteeing that they have at least a modicum of common sense before being promoted.

	26-12-2003 14:58									#289
	Get a bigger avatar today!

granted. unfortunately the cost of such a test is a modicum of common sense.

i wish lexi would show up on my doorstep bearing a full bottle of Jack Daniels tennessee whiskey.

	26-12-2003 15:34									#290
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

She does. It's that time of month.

I wish I would realize when my posts are esoteric and muddy, so I'll stop stubbing my Tao.

	26-12-2003 15:46									#291
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

granted. the falling lotus blossom reveals the secret knowledge of crickets and inner peace.

i wish i could get to use a very special smiley here (the one i plan on using after spending some quality time with lexi.).

	26-12-2003 16:01									#292
	Remove this text

You can. You edit your avatar to make an entirely appropriate "smiley." Urban Ranger notices, declares it obscene, and you are banned.

I wish crickets didn't drive me crazy.

	26-12-2003 19:25									#293
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

They don't. Now silence drives you crazy.

I wish that the weekends were four days, not two.

	26-12-2003 20:58									#294
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Granted. But you don't get any holidays, and you have to work 18 hours a day.

I wish the CD drive I just put into my new computer wasn't so loud.

	26-12-2003 21:06									#295
	Suffering from ads?

Granted. It's not loud when you put it in, when you use it, the noise is deafening!

I wish all food was perfectly healthy, contained all the nutrition, and not too much of the bad stuff (fat, cholesterol , carbs).

	26-12-2003 21:15									#296
	Increase the size of your Attachments

The lack of fat in your diet turns you into an emaciated waif.

I that my sinuses weren't full of anesthetic swab

	27-12-2003 12:12									#297
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

The swab is gone. You now realize why the anesthetic swab was in there. Whatever they did, it makes them HURT.

I wish that human babies were as easy to potty train as it is to litter train kittens.

	27-12-2003 12:36									#298
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Your wish comes true. Now all humans need kitty litter to use instead of a toilet.

I wish we had 10 more managers for our company, and that they were all honest and competent.

	27-12-2003 13:14									#299
	Inflate your Upload Space

Granted. You are not, so they fire you

I wish for Theben to get a name change to Flafnir.

	27-12-2003 15:30									#300
	Inflate your Upload Space

He does, except he makes a mistake. It's Flufnir. He now a Fluffy in disguise.

I wish all Furries were Fluffies.