20-12-2003 13:35									#241
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instead, he lays at waist level, and attacks there.

i wish i could get laid by new years by a beautiful, single, drug and disease free woman, who is somewhere between the age of 18 and 28 years on this planet.

	20-12-2003 19:22									#242
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Granted, except that you find your bodily member remains limp.

I wish we had central indoor heating.

	20-12-2003 19:39									#243
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Granted, but the thermostat is set to 70 degrees... Celcius.

I wish my cat would stop clawing at me.

	20-12-2003 21:42									#244
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Granted. Your cat stops clawing and starts licking.

I wish farts smelled like flowers.

	20-12-2003 23:01									#245
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Granted. Flowers now smell like farts.

I wish everyone worshipped me.

	20-12-2003 23:13									#246
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Granted. Worshiping includes sacrificing you.

I wish I could control the passage of time.

	20-12-2003 23:34									#247
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

Granted. However, doing so requires you to remove your brain from your body and connect it to a time-controlling supercomputer. Unfortunately, Time has yet to upgrade to computers yet, so your brain is attached to a slide rule. You can control the passage of time... just that doing so requires the slide rule to go through your cerebral cortex....

I wish I could fly.

	21-12-2003 00:32									#248
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

You can fly. Unfortunately, you overestimate yourstrength, attempt crossing the atlantic, and drown in middle of the way.

I wish I could draw well. REALLY well.

	21-12-2003 01:11									#249
	Inflate your Upload Space

Granted, you draw so well that people don't believe you, and think you merely photographed the event instead.
(if that doesn't suffice)
Granted, you draw so well that your talent is recognized, and you are kidnapped and forced to draw in a sweatshop for 40 hours a day, 8 days a week
(and more)
until you start causing critical shortages of paper because you're drawing so much. There, plenty of corruption for one wish.

I wish I secretly controlled the world's major powers.

	22-12-2003 20:39									#250
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

you do. however, it's only then you realize that the world's major powers are, in order:
britney
christina
fez
ted striker
the embalmed body of lenin
the massive visage of mao

i wish they had some cough medicine that actually worked.

	22-12-2003 20:48									#251
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Your cough is cured, but the cough medicine does such a good job, it kills off everything else. Funny that, coming with the personal recommendation of Charlton Heston....

I wish I had remembered which thread this was before just posting in response to the last post.

	22-12-2003 21:15									#252
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Granted. You look at it anyways

I wish for the owners to allow babe threads again.

	22-12-2003 22:58									#253
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Granted. But all the pictures on the new thread look strangely like Saddam Hussein.

I wish Ralph Nader was the President of the United States.

	22-12-2003 23:51									#254
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Granted, he is. So everything his puppet Dubya seems to be screwing up is really Nader's fault.

I wish my barber shop was open today.

	22-12-2003 23:59									#255
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it is. but the regular barber is out, replaced by those queer eye-type salonists.

i wish coke and beer would flow as freely as water.

	23-12-2003 01:04									#256
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They do, but only from open wounds originating on Osama bin Laden's body.

I wish republicans had to wear signs on their foreheads.

	23-12-2003 01:07									#257
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they do. the rest of the world see shades of nuremburg, though, and invade the united states and depose bush, who ends up going into hiding. they find him eight months later with a castro beard running around in the tunnels of the washington metro.

i wish i could understand this song i'm listening to.

	23-12-2003 01:15									#258
	Suffering from ads?

You do, and the poignant meaning behind the music makes you realize that all life is a futile struggle against insurmountable odds; you then fall into a deep, lifelong depression and develop an incurable desire to listen to Kenny G. and Yanni every single day for the rest of your life.

I wish Dubya had to take an IQ test and the results made public.

	23-12-2003 02:23									#259
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He did, and got 300 on it due to some error, and is declared dictator of the earth for life(all of this shortly after an immortality serum comes out.)

I wish I knew if a duck with a chick on its head existed or not.

	23-12-2003 02:40									#260
	Put an end to popups!

Granted. You know with total certainty but nobody believes you.

I wish I knew why Whoha wished the above wish.

	23-12-2003 02:44									#261
	Tired of ads?

Granted, but you now suffer from serious psycothic problems.

I wish I was invincible.

Spec.

	23-12-2003 02:52									#262
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you are. unfortunately, you're michael jackson, since he was the one who came out with that album.

i wish i hadn't corrupted that wish so strongly.

	23-12-2003 02:58									#263
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Granted, Spec is now invincible (except a flaw so minor no one can detect it) and he now unleases his wrath on us all.

I wish my hair wasnt turning blond.

	23-12-2003 03:03									#264
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Granted -- It's not. It only appears so, due to the way your personal aura is refracting harmful x-rays into your brain.

I wish this thread would hit 500 posts so we could stop.

	23-12-2003 03:06									#265
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

granted. you're losing hair instead.

i wish i wasn't a hazard to my self, don't let me get to me, i'm my own worst enemy...

	23-12-2003 03:09									#266
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Granted. The thread hits 500 posts, and so someone starts " it's the revival of the corrupt wish game (3)".

Granted. Everyone else is now a hazard to you.

I wish there weren't so many crossposts.

	23-12-2003 03:20									#267
	Suffering from ads?

granted. The thread hits 500 posts and we stop. But you are forced to help Q Cubed not be a hazard to himself...and the only way to keep him safe is to help him create and manage corrupt wish game threads...over and over again.

I wish for a wallet that automatically regenerates paper money when I take paper money out.

	23-12-2003 03:49									#268
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Granted. But you develop a severe allergy to paper.

I wish Gary Larson would resume the daily publication of new "The Far Side" cartoons.

	23-12-2003 04:01									#269
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he does. unfortunately, they're marvelously unfunny now.

i wish that incandescent lightbulbs weren't so hot to touch.

	23-12-2003 04:04									#270
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Granted. But now they don't work.

I wish I wasn't so bored.