10-12-2003 14:22									#151
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

You new AI code takes over the world. Decides you should be the ruler. When you don't cooperate, you are deleted.

I wish my little girl was so precocious that she figured out how to use a potty seat at nine months (right now).

	10-12-2003 21:30									#152
	Got spare money?

Granted, but she figured out how to put your important papers there first.

I wish I could control the color of my hair.

	10-12-2003 23:06									#153
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Granted, but you must 1st buy Just for Mentm for it to work.

I wish there was a holiday where an insane fascist gave bananas to good little girls and boys by throwing them out of a helicopter.

	10-12-2003 23:11									#154
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

granted. good little girls and boys are thrown out of helicopters into banana republics below.

babykiller.


i wish that people would just go away and leave me alone, because i'm sick and tired of fixing up their idiot mistakes on the computer.

	10-12-2003 23:27									#155
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Granted. People all go away from you...never again does someone talk to you again.

I wish my daughter wasn't sick.

	10-12-2003 23:31									#156
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Granted. She is fully healed with an amazing boost of energy for the rest of her life. Never again will you do something in peace.

I wish I was at homw right now.

Spec.

	10-12-2003 23:34									#157
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

congratulations. you're now in homw, capital of north elbonia.

i wish all pointy-haired bosses would die.

	10-12-2003 23:43									#158
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Granted, you die.

I wish I was at HOME!

Spec.

	11-12-2003 00:17									#159
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Granted. You are at home. Little did you realize that your new home is a small, cramped cubicle. You now live at work.

	11-12-2003 00:18									#160
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

btw, I meant that the BANANAS were to be thrown from the helicopter!

I wish that I was singing in the rain.

	11-12-2003 00:29									#161
	Full PM-box? Change here!

you are. but it's acid rain. your new nickname is twoface, but that's because the whole top of your head is burned away.

i wish that deliberate misunderstandings were always funny.

	11-12-2003 05:09									#162
	Suffering from ads?

Granted. But unintentional misunderstandings are now never funny. Spontaneity is lost and a certain enjoyment in life is gone forever.

I wish they could really reattach Ted Williams head to his body.

	11-12-2003 05:51									#163
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

granted, but 1000 years from now, fry and leela will never be able to meet his head in a jar. it will also turn out that fry is related to you somehow, and the shame of that blacklists you from any future breeding.

i wish idiots would never get on idiot tv programs like wheel of fortune. i mean, come on... we had a stupid woman say that brotherly love, cream cheese, and the liberty bell were all in new york for chrissakes. anybody with half a brain would know that the correct answer is boston. jeebus.

	11-12-2003 06:04									#164
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Granted. Now idiots get on Jeopardy and the really smart people go to Wheel of Fortune. Both shows are ruined (perhaps they already were).

I wish there was only one time zone.

	11-12-2003 07:06									#165
	Increase Your PM Length

Granted. You now live in the land of the midnight sun.

I wish I had chickens had three wings, so there would be more chicken wings to eat.

	11-12-2003 07:10									#166
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Granted, but that wing grows out the chicken's butt...and that tastes like ....well sh1t.

I wish the helium atom had five electrons.

	11-12-2003 13:23									#167
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

It does - the resulting change in the atomic nucleus permitting this means stars burn out immediately upon starting fusion. Life does not evolve.

I wish my little girl would peacefully, and healthily, take her nap.

	11-12-2003 13:54									#168
	Get a bigger avatar today!

She does. In fact, when she wakes up she's so well rested that she bounces off the walls for the next 12 hours straight.

I wish someone would clean my apartment.

	11-12-2003 14:16									#169
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

A big fat ugly woman comes in and do the cleaning for you. In fact, she would do the cooking and other household chores. But she also makes your apartment her home and you can't get rid of her.

I wish I got to see the Sunshine Girl more often.

	11-12-2003 14:37									#170
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Theban - unfortunately, that's exactly what happens.

	11-12-2003 17:16									#171
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

you do. when you're 95, and she's 96, she moves in next to you in the retirement home for mentally addled old people. you don't remember who she is, but you get to see her every day, drooling and staring off into space.

i wish there was some drug that was legal and gave you a controlled high, and had no side effects.

	11-12-2003 17:50									#172
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

[Booze you dope! You just have to drink enough for there to be no side effects! ]

Er, there is, but the side effect of having no side effects means that you can be high all the time and so the scientists who discovered it don't ever bother to put it on the market and just sit around getting high all day.

I wish that Elton John would self-combust in a controlled explosion - LIVE ON TV!

	11-12-2003 19:37									#173
	Remove this text

Elton starts to burn during an AIDS awareness concert, live on TV. While you watch captivated, your TV explodes, sending shards of metal and glass deep into your eyes and face. Although you'll be dead, I can tell you they managed to put out the fire on Elton, all he got was a tiny 1st degree burn. And it was your neighbor who rigged your TV to explode, controlling it remotely from his living room (apparently he was upset your fence is built 1 1/2 inches into his property).

	11-12-2003 19:38									#174
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

I wish that nOObs and in fact everyone spelled my online name correctly.

	11-12-2003 19:46									#175
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

theybun gets his name spelled correctly because he changes its spelling to include wildcards: th*b*n.
unfortunately, people get tired of doing this, and rename him, against his will, ******.

i wish i had a massively powerful rail gun to completely **** **** up with. traffic bad? no problem, i'll clear a path with my rail gun...

	11-12-2003 19:50									#176
	Support Apolyton

You've got a rail gun, but you can't use it against traffic because it runs on rails...

I wish I had a fence, and a neighbour to share it with!

	11-12-2003 20:17									#177
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Several years from now, you have your own home, and a fence, and a neighbor. He seems to complain about something a lot.

I wish that the Japanese "beckoning cat" charm was saying "Fight the Power!"

	11-12-2003 20:18									#178
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed theybun gets his name spelled correctly because he changes its spelling to include wildcards: th*b*n.

****, at this point maybe that's what I should do.

	11-12-2003 22:49									#179
	Full PM-box? Change here!

quote: Originally posted by Theben I wish that nOObs and in fact everyone spelled my online name correctly.

Since I know it annoys you, I vow to misspell your name until you get rid of that anime avatar, Thebne.

	11-12-2003 23:04									#180
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

We'll just see who can last longer.