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UnOrthOdOx
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Hello....
Jun 2002
time: 22:35
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Keeping lurkers informed and regulars entertained since 3700 BC -------------------------March 29, 3150 BC.
New peoples discovered!
CDG: Friend of Foe?
Our scouts have spotted the first of what the wise men tell us are many other peoples in this land. CDG has been spotted far to our west by our band of scouts. Little is known at the present time:
"All we really know right now is that they wear stupid colors and are speaking a strange language" Togas claimed.
The Consuls are asking that the populous voice their opinion and join in the discussion of whether CDG is Friend or Foe?
-UnOrthOdOx
GodKing Appointed Minister of Interior
Paddy the Scot resigns
Earlier last week, Paddy the Scot resigned as Minister of Interior, claiming something called a "real life" was keeping him too busy for his duties.
conmcb25, however, claims that there is a far more ominous reason for the resignation:
"I heard it had to do with a potential scandall involving the interns, actually." conmcb25 was quoted as saying. "I don't really understand it fully. I mean, I know oral sex is against the law and all, but if you ask me eating aint cheating. Hell, interns are about the only reason to sign up for any governmental position."
With such a devastating loss, the Government was swift to appoint GodKing as the new MoI, and he spent little time making sweeping changes across the populous. Rationing food, and ordering construction of what he calls a "granary".
When questioned about these changes, Togas' only response was. "I don't know, I only do what those Trokhilites tell me."
Trokhilites, as they are referred to, are the followers of the Cult of Trokhilos, God of Harvest. Perhaps more commonly referred to by the vulgar name of the Food Nazi's, the Trokhilites are rumored to have infiltrated high levels of the Government and, in reality, to be the ones manipulating ever aspect of our nation with such prominent members as GodKing and Kloreep.
To find out more about these Trokhilites, we have sent a reporter to speak with the rumored leader, who has agreed to an exlusive interview, provided he retain anonymity:
Reporter: Thank you for taking the time to meet with The Messenger
 : My pleasure, always glad to be of service.
Reporter: It is my understanding that the Trokhilites are behind the plans for the construction of this "Granary". Is this true, and, what exactly is this Granary?
: Well, we have certainly advocated it's construction if that is what you mean. There is nothing more to it than that, really. As for what a granary is? Well, think of it as a giant pot. We'll put some of our food in that pot instead of eating it all right away, that'll help us grow in population quicker.
Reporter: Um, how exactly is NOT eating going to help the population increase?
: Well, you see, we who worshing Trokhilos have learned the truth behind population. It is when Trokhilos is please that he grants us additional Population. And, the only way to pleaes Trokhilos is to offer him food. So, by not eating the food, we will be able to offer it unto Trokhilos quicker.
Reporter: So you're saying Trokhilos will bless us with children?
: Children? Oh no. The Population will just magically appear. Why, it's not uncomon for cities with no females to even gain the favor of Trokhilos and grow by offerings to him!
Reporter: Uh...huh...I'll stick to trying to get my wife pregnant if that's ok with you.
-UnOrthOdOx
The Messenger has learned that Dominae has left the C3C Demogame team, but was given permission to use him in this article. We do so in appreciation of Dominae and his contribution to this and the many other demo games which he has been a part of.
Strange Animals discovered!
Promising possibilities.
Massive animals have been discovered on the plains to the east. While presenting no immediate danger, their tusks have given rise to much anticipation around the city. Valued both as decoration and potentially as even a facet of the military, this "Ivory", as it is called will surely bring pleasure to many, and perhaps even that of Zeus as well!
-UnOrthOdOx
All the "news" that's unfit to print.
UnO goes on drinking binge
rescue party sent to search
UnOrthOdOx was found far outside of the city earlier this week. Aparantly having gotten into a drinking contest with MrWhereItsAt, UnO proved no match for the raining town champion and wandered off in a drunken stupor.
While missing for three days, UnOrthOdOx has apparantly still not sobered as he earlier released an incomplete paper for circulation. One which made little in the way of sense, even, despite having worked on it for well over 500 years.
-UnOrthOdOx
Uber plans massive army
Appears to be living in a different world
With the full perfection of Pottery technology, Uber set out to put it to it's fullest use by with the creation of a massive army.
"Its construction reduces the cost of Barracks and Stable units. Even more impressive, having a Terra Cotta Army on the map will ensure that we receive a free foot unit every thirty seconds for every infantry unit we control!" Uber Claims
"Why with this, I'll bet we could even beat out a Bantu Boom strategy!"
E-T gives us a sneak peak at "Writting"
"research" or embezzalment?
Continuing our exclusive coverage, the Grapevine once again was invited to see a sample of our next research by E_T.
MrWIA: Greetings, E_T, thank you for having us in again!
E_T: Always a pleasure. Told you that pottery was going to work out didn't I?
MrWIA: Indeed you did. So, what are we studying next?
E_T: Well, I'm afraid it's not as exciting as Pottery, but we are researching what we call "Writting" next.
MrWIA: Writting? REALLY. What do you call the paper?
E_T: Well, yeah, that's writting I suppose, but we are here studying ways to teach it to everyone, not just you paper guys.
MrWIA: Ways? What ways? Send em over, UnO's begging to teach folks. Anyone to come down will be welcome to help out and learn to write. Course, they'll likely teach him more than he will them...
E_T: Look, strictly off the record, we're just making it look like we're doing something here, ok? Here, don't mention it to anyone and we can divert some funding...if you know what I mean...
MrWIA: Gotcha. I'll just get old UnO nice and drunk and he'll never know anything about it.
-UnOrthOdOx
Disclaimer: The Messenger and it's staff is not responsible for any damages to computer or software if any of the above is put into a spell check. Certain failure and damage are considered likely.
Last edited by UnOrthOdOx on 29-03-2004 at 21:40
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29-03-2004 07:05
, and zeus in civ 
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