28-05-2004 16:57									#121
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If the material abouty Iraqi law is anywhere reasonably close to hand, Oerdin, I would be most interested to see it.

Don't be too down on agreeing cease fires - whatever you think of those they are agreed with. A cease fire can sometimes extend itself in quite a surprisingly satisfactory way. Whereas if you confront every bad guy you can find in Iraq then it will have to be your children's children who start thinking of coming home.

Apart from oil, dates are Iraq's biggest export so the palms you see may not be purely decorative.

	28-05-2004 23:58									#122
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Ahhh, the wind has been blowing non-stop today and the sand has really started to fly. Visability is sometimes down to 10-15 feet and it's bloody hot to boot.

Last edited by Oerdin on 29-05-2004 at 00:11

	29-05-2004 00:04									#123
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And I was just complaining that it is only about 60 here today.... and it sprinkled this morning....

	29-05-2004 01:40									#124
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Good to see that things have calmed down and that Sadr has backed off. Let's hope it stays that way.

	29-05-2004 20:40									#125
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Today started out as a really good day but things got shitty fast. This morning I got the results of my TB test (which came in negative), I had a great conversation with an officer in the Army of Kazakstan (We agreed that Iraq would make bumpy progress over the next few years), and I even had a decent mission where we went finally got the two newspapers in town to agree to merge (we told them to merge or we'd stop giving them money). The sucky part started when I got back to base.

An Army Chaplain was waiting for me and he told me he'd gotten a message from the Red Cross saying my mother had died. She's had cancer for sometime now so it's not a total shock but the last I heard the cancer wasn't growing very fast. She had fallen down (the cancer had caused her to have a stroke 1.5 years ago and she's had trouble walking ever since) and broken her hip two days ago. The doctor said the cancer had spread to her bones causing them to be weak, but, my dad said she was going to have hip replacement surgery and I didn't think there was any danger of her dying from that. Apparently, she had completed the surgery and my father had stayed in her hospital room all night. At around 6am he left for work and when he came back to the hospital at lunch time the doctor told him my mother had died.

I'm going to be taking emergency leave from the Army so I can go to my mother's funeral. I'm supposed to take a helicopter from Al Kut to Baghdad sometime tonight and then I will try to hitch a ride on a plane back to the US. I just wish I was there for her when she died. I wish she hadn't died in a room full of strangers. I did speak with her three days ago and she sounded well enough then. I'm guess I should be thankful; the last words I ever said to her were "I love you".

	29-05-2004 20:45									#126
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That sucks. My sympathies.

	29-05-2004 20:48									#127
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My sympaties to you, Oerdin

I wish you strength, and courage. May there be no death, nor sorrow, for long times to come.

There is no need to feel thankfull, your grief is well placed.

germanos.

	29-05-2004 21:15									#128
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I've called my family and made the arrangements plus I've already packed. Now I just have to wait for the flight.

On another note I think I'm in the wrong business. The Arab fellow who opened the internet cafe on post must be racking in the cash. He has 20 computers and he charges $2 per hour to use them. Since there are 2000 GIs plus around 1500 Ukrainians, Poles, Rumanians, and Kazaks on post the 20 are [b]ALWAYS[b/] in use. That means he makes around $28,800 per month tax free. I don't even think the army charges him for the building and he's only paying his brother $500 per month to work the night shift. That means even with the start up costs he started making a profit in the first week. The average Iraqi only makes $1500 per month so this guy is now living like a king selling GIs a chance to e-mail home.

	29-05-2004 21:57									#129
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My condolences and heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your mother Oerdin.

At least you'll be able to re-unite with your family in memory of her, and to comfort eachother. And you'll know she doesn't suffer anymore.

	29-05-2004 22:54									#130
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Oerdin, I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

	30-05-2004 00:21									#132
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I'm sorry to hear about your Mother Oerdin.

	30-05-2004 02:35									#133
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Condolences and Blessings to you and your family, Oerdin. Here's hoping your travel goes smoothly.

Monk

	30-05-2004 02:39									#134
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Sorry about your moms Oerdin.

	30-05-2004 02:40									#135
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Oerdin, I've never met you and I know really so little about you, but this makes me very sad. What a strange world the Internet creates, eh? Know that I'll be thinking of you.

	30-05-2004 02:49									#136
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Man. what a mess! There's never a right time for your mother to die, but being in a desert shi'itehole on the opposite side of the globe when it happens, not being there for her, must be awful.

But being close could have its drawbacks too. My mother rents an apartment in my big house. She's 71 and has both cancer and heart errors, so I never know if she will be alive when I enter. My worst nightmare is that my small kids will find her dead before I do.

To outlive your parents is the normal way of life, but it's surely painful when they pass away. My dad died from cancer that had spread to the bones (awfully painful) when I was 22. I still regret not being there for him the last 2 days, but I had to go back to University, or else I would had missed too much of the classes. Even If he was very sick, I could not know if he would live for two more days or two more months.

	30-05-2004 02:56									#137
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I don't know what's worst, a SAM-dodging helicopter ride or a IED-dodging Hummer convoy? I haven't heard of any helicopter chrashes for six months or so. Did the guerilla run out of SAMs or did the US Army change tactics? Whatever it is, I hope you have a smooth ride home.

	30-05-2004 10:56									#138
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Hopefully, he's on his way home, now.

	30-05-2004 18:25									#139
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I grieve with you, oerdin, sis, & family.
@
 Y
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I think once you are an adult the impact of a parent's death is not effected by your age.

Many here don't believe in prayer, or God. I do, and I prayed on the way to the hospital a few days after my mother had been admitted due to cerebral hemorrhage. As she slipped in and out of consciousness I felt powerless. He reminded me of a song from an album I hadn't played in a couple years and encouraged me to sing it to her in the ICU.

In Every Need (text and chords) from Way Back Home (album track clips) (available here)

I normally don't push things; I'd give you a copy if I could. Phil Keaggy originally did this in the months after his father's death, this song and four or five others using poems from his father's favorite book.

	30-05-2004 22:02									#140
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Just an update....

Oerdin arrived in Baghdad last night around 10pm (pacific time... ) and called this morning from Kuiwait City at around 9:30 am (again Pacific time)

My post was just interupped by the phone... He has a flight out of Kuiwait to Amsterdam, then to Detroit, then home, but he will not be here until 5 pm tommorow....

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers... it means alot to us....

	01-06-2004 11:14									#141
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sorry to hear about your Mom

but maybe the timing got you out of there for some good reason

	01-06-2004 16:01									#142
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My condolences, Oerdin - to you and your family.

The pride your mum felt in the service her boy was giving so far from home is one of the things that will have sustained her. No need to regret it.

	01-06-2004 18:28									#143
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Wish you were coming home under better circumstances, Oerdin. My condolences.

	01-06-2004 19:37									#144
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Having lost both of my parents, I know how bad it sucks. All I can say is once the initial grief is past, hang on to the good memories and let them be a source of happiness.

	01-06-2004 19:42									#145
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Well, I finally got home yesterday at around 5:30 PM. It took me a grand total of 50 hours of traveling to here. I had a 3 hour flight from Al Kut to Balad to Baghdad on a twin engine Chinook helicopter. The helicopter had to be unloaded before it could be reloaded so we took off 1400lbs worth of Psyop product and several pallets worth of munitions and medical supplies. I out processed for leave in Baghdad and then I flew to Kuwait City on a C-130 owned by the Georgia State Air National Guard. The C-130 had a flight crew which was 75% female (very unusual) but the flight was excellent and we arrived in Kuwait 15 minutes ahead of schedule. On board was the human remains of a Japanese national who was killed in Iraq and the casket was being escorted by the Japanese ambassador to Iraq and the Commanding General of Japanese forces in Iraq. When we landed in Kuwait international Airport a mixed Japanese-American honor guard had been arranged for the dead man though they didn't have enough people to carry the casket so I and several other Americans volunteered to carry the casket from the airplane to the hearse.

Once in Kuwait I went to the American base “Camp Wolverine” which is located on the Kuwaiti Air Force Base Doha. The base is right next to Kuwait International Airport though it consists almost entirely of tents. I filled out a ton more of paperwork and then 12 hours later I was finally given a ticket on a Northwest Airlines flight to Amsterdam. Hours and hours later I finally made it home after another stop in Detroit.

I’m afraid my father isn’t taking things to well. He’s all broken up and has been drinking heavily. When I arrived at the airport he wasn’t there and when I called his house he didn’t pick up. I waited a half hour then I called him again; this time he picked up but his voice sounded like he had been drinking and had fallen asleep. I said I could call a friend to come get me but my dad said he was fine and that he’d be there in 20 minutes. When he arrived I could tell he really shouldn’t have been driving and that he most certainly wasn’t fine. When he saw me he started to cry (my father never cries) and I hugged him and then told him I would drive the car. He told me that my mother’s sister, her husband, and my cousins were expecting us at their house so I drove his car to my aunt’s house. At my aunt’s house he got totally tanked and was emotional. He got so drunk I practically had to carry him out to the car which was not easy as my father is a large man.

I’m going to see if I can’t talk to him today. I’m hoping that talking will help get him over this self destructive behavior. My parents have been married since high school so I knew he’d take this hard but I’m wondering if I might not be in over my head. Does anyone have any suggestions on approaches I should take? I’m very concerned about my father. Any advice would be helpful.

	01-06-2004 19:54									#146
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Is your father active in any groups/organizations/religion/whatever? Get his friends involved if possible. If he's religious, get your priest/minister/whatever to assist.

Discourage the alcohol if at all possible; I know from experience that it just delays and intensifies the grieving process.

	01-06-2004 20:08									#147
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MY family has never been particularly religious. I'd say we only went to church when someone gets married or when someone dies. As it is my aunt and I were talking about trying to plan some sort of memorial service for my mother. She wanted to be cremated so a traditional funeral is out of the question (she wouldn't have wanted one anyway) but some nice service where people could remember the good things and say good bye would be nice. I'll call my sister today and see what she thinks.

Last edited by Oerdin on 01-06-2004 at 20:17

	01-06-2004 20:13									#148
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Condolences. Losing a parent is hard.

	01-06-2004 20:28									#149
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Just stay close to your dad and don't drink along with him. My dad took the death of my mum very hard - I rather expect most partners in a long marriage probably do the same.

He'll get over the excessive drinking before long but you might make a resolution, in so far as your service allows, to see more of him and involve him more in your own life in the future. Because the hole your mother leaves in his life is tough to fill. I started to go over to stay with my dad alternate week ends after my mum died and I know he values that very highly.

Try to take the strain a bit with the funeral arrangements, notifying close friends and relatives and neighbours, working out what the person who conducts the service should say about your mum's life, choice of hymns and so on. Maybe your dad will wish to take a big part in all that but from what you say maybe not. There is a surprisingly lot to do. If you have as little experience with funerals as me you might need to speak to the funeral directors and make sure you have the bases covered.

In the meantime just be there, that is enough.

Tears are good.

	01-06-2004 21:00									#150
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my condolances.