18-02-2005 18:11									#31
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hang in there

	18-02-2005 18:32									#32
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Sorry to hear about this Kid, it's serious stuff. Take good care of your son, you'll never regret the effort.

	18-02-2005 18:55									#33
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Best wishes for you and your son from here as well.

	18-02-2005 19:05									#34
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quote: Originally posted by civman2000 County, not country.

I know exactly which county he lives in and instead I am asking which country his wife is from since she preciously abducted the child and went there.

	18-02-2005 19:08									#35
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His wife moved to another county, not country.

	18-02-2005 19:09									#36
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Have you considered taking your son with you? Possession is 9/10ths of the law.

	18-02-2005 19:17									#37
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Oppies

	18-02-2005 19:59									#38
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quote: Originally posted by shawnmmcc Kidicious - that's a new one on me (you cannot tell the cop's heres her drugs. However, what to do is call CPS and say I am in my house and have found a stash of what are fear are drugs and that there is a five year old child in the house. Make absolutely certain you do not touch them, and ask CPS send someone immediately, or have the police come, and remove them. Then voluntarily undergo drug tests, including your hair (depends on the drugs). Offer to undergo a lie-detector test - bogus, but courts and police like the damn things for some reason - and then leave it up to her lawyer to explain what the problem is. Note - which I'll keep repeating - get a lawyer, a good lawyer.

Damn. I never knew that I could do that without getting in trouble too.

Che,

She can just come and bring him back. If I try to stop her she can call the police. I tried that last time. I thought she would never drive from 4 hours away, but she did. I had to let her take him.

Oerdin,

I filed for the original divorce in Fresno County. My wife is living in Kings County. I remember now that Kings County has jurisdiction over the custody. So I'll have to refile I think.

	18-02-2005 20:28									#39
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Family Court in CA is predisposed towards the mom. By virtue of your Y chromosome, you start at a disadvantage. It will require lots of hard evidence that your wife is a drug addict and neglects your son before a court will grant you custody. Even then, it might not be enough. Beg, borrow, whatever you can to get money for a good lawyer. Perhaps, you could try and find some sort of father's rights group that will get a you a good lawyer pro bono or something.

	18-02-2005 20:35									#40
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Also look into the legal services at your university. What ever you do, you have to protect your kid.

	18-02-2005 20:35									#41
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That's a good idea pchang.

I'm going to call the local police in the town she lives in too. I'm going to tell them the situation and see it they can stop her and find drugs on her.

	18-02-2005 20:41									#42
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The reason why you can't simply tell the police about where to find her drugs is because the Constitution does not allow spouses to testify against each other. The Framers didn't want the government to be able to force spouses to betray each other.

You could, however, bring a friend over to see the drugs, and that person could tell the police.

	18-02-2005 20:42									#43
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara The reason why you can't simply tell the police about where to find her drugs is because the Constitution does not allow spouses to testify against each other. The Framers didn't want the government to be able to force spouses to betray each other.

Um.. where in the WORLD did you hear this? The spouse testimony exemption is an evidence rule based on STATE LAW! It depends on your state and many have gotten rid of it.

	18-02-2005 20:43									#44
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Um.. where in the WORLD did you hear this?

7th grade Constitution class.

	18-02-2005 20:51									#45
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That completely sucks. How old is your son if you don't mind sharing?

I wish you and your son good luck. I also hope that your wife eventually hits bottom and starts the road to full recovery.

	18-02-2005 20:52									#46
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Um.. where in the WORLD did you hear this? The spouse testimony exemption is an evidence rule based on STATE LAW! It depends on your state and many have gotten rid of it.

Plus-- I thought the idea was that a spouse could not be COMPELLED to give evidence against another spouse but that they are free to do so if they do so willingly

	18-02-2005 20:54									#47
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Kidicious . ..

best wishes to you as you go through a trying time.

The advice to seek out both father's rights groups and university legal assistance are both good ones. You need good legal advice quickly and I would be suprised if these organizations can't help you out

	18-02-2005 20:58									#48
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara 7th grade Constitution class.

And people wonder why our school suck so bad .

I can't even imagine where in the Constitution such a provision would arise from. Substantive due process? I guess that's the closest.

quote: Originally posted by Flubber Plus-- I thought the idea was that a spouse could not be COMPELLED to give evidence against another spouse but that they are free to do so if they do so willingly

That as well... just about every state allows a spouse to testify against the other spouse if they wants.

	18-02-2005 22:26									#49
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May I ask, what type of "drugs" are we referring to?

	19-02-2005 00:42									#50
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Um.. where in the WORLD did you hear this? The spouse testimony exemption is an evidence rule based on STATE LAW! It depends on your state and many have gotten rid of it.

pardon, I thought it was a common law exclusion, and thus present in all US states (except Louisiana?) unless altered by state law. So its not surprising someone confused it with a Constitutional provision.

also why its familiar to our Canadian friends

	19-02-2005 01:01									#51
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fight for your rights kid.

	19-02-2005 01:21									#52
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quote: Originally posted by lord of the mark pardon, I thought it was a common law exclusion, and thus present in all US states (except Louisiana?) unless altered by state law. So its not surprising someone confused it with a Constitutional provision. also why its familiar to our Canadian friends

Not to quibble, and I certainly cannot speak to US law but....

It is a protection found in the Canada Evidence Act (section 4 if you care).

	19-02-2005 01:22									#53
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quote: Originally posted by lord of the mark pardon, I thought it was a common law exclusion, and thus present in all US states (except Louisiana?) unless altered by state law. So its not surprising someone confused it with a Constitutional provision. also why its familiar to our Canadian friends

Every state except Louisiana is a common law state, so common law is a part of 49 states' laws.

	19-02-2005 01:34									#54
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Kidicious - are you leaving out a detail, or am I ignorant on something. Is there a court order granting her custody? Once there is you have a hidious uphill battle, even if you are in another juristiction, of getting custody.

If not, there is something I don't understand - if you have the child, how can she have the police come and force you to turn him over to her? In California is there a presumption of the mother having custody. By the way, I wouldn't recommend forcing the issue if it hasn't been decided, because of what other posters said about you already starting at a disadvantage.

Do not just call the police like you suggest. BAD THOUGHT. They will blow you off as an angry husband. You must be very careful, and thoughtful about this. Wait until you have a slam dunk - I like the posters suggestion about bring a friend over who then calls the police and/or CPS - I prefer CPS because they have alot fewer restrictions on what they can do (something I am opposed to but in you case I hope you can use it to offset the systems mommy-based bias). Conversely, the police should contact CPS if, after finding the drugs, you explain there is a child in the house who could have gotten into them, yours, and thats why you called. God bless and good luck.

	19-02-2005 02:42									#55
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara The reason why you can't simply tell the police about where to find her drugs is because the Constitution does not allow spouses to testify against each other. The Framers didn't want the government to be able to force spouses to betray each other. You could, however, bring a friend over to see the drugs, and that person could tell the police.

1) Not the constitution; state laws and legal precedent, as Imran points out.

2) More to th point, the law is designed to keep spouses from being compelled to testify against each other. If a spouse wants to testify against her, he can. (Otherwise, how on earth would you ever prosecute spousal abuse cases?). I think kid needs to look into this; it sounds like bull to me.

	19-02-2005 07:12									#56
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Og,

He's 6.

Wezil,

She prefers to smoke crank.

Shawn,

There's no preexisting custody order. I had to let her see our son and take him were she pleases, because there were no custody orders. Otherwise I would be guilty of abduction.

	19-02-2005 09:23									#57
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Doesn't that apply to you also, i.e. you can see your son and take him where you please? Then again, I forget that you are X-chromosone challenged.

Good news - remember the mayor of DC - crack is the one that REALLY shows up very well in hair. They can even show if it was an isolated instance or a habit, and get a general idea on frequency of use. Take your time, DON'T let her force it to custody yet, find the good lawyer, and play it smart. I'll keep you and your child in my prayers.

	19-02-2005 09:26									#58
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Crank, not crack.

	19-02-2005 09:30									#59
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Yeah, get it straight.

	19-02-2005 09:31									#60
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Crank = methanphetimine, iirc
Crack = cocaine