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JimmyCracksCorn
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Macedonia - Sovereign country north of Greece.
Dec 2002
time: 05:19
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Let me first just say that I think Canada is a great country and I'm happy to be here, but:
What the hell is this crap?
http://counterpunch.org/chuckman07012005.html
And what the hell is it doing on Counterpunch.org? I'm shocked that they would accept a bullshit nationalist ode to Canada and a coddling of Prime Minister Paul "I murder Haitians and arrest Muslims" Martin.
(Let's not forget that while Canadians celebrate "Canada Day" on July 1st, Chinese-Canadians are observing Humiliation Day. On July 1st 1923, A head-tax of $500 was put on Chinese immigrants, and was only lifted in the late 1940s. Five hundred dollars back then was the equivalent of two houses - or half a million dollars today. What a great tribute to the people who built the "National Dream". For every kilometre of the Canadian Pacific Railway built between Calgary and Vancouver a Chinese labourer died. And the government still hasn't apologized or paid reparations to Chinese-Canadians. Wave that flag, especially the white part, eh?)
The second paragraph of this travesty published on Counterpunch is absolutely sickening. John Chuckman, the author, writes (my comments in brackets):
quote:
We are not at war in Iraq, killing and maiming for no reason [what about Haiti and Afghanistan, *******?]. We have conservatives in our politics, but we have no commentators spewing hate like Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh [Have you heard of David Warren - lead columnist of the Ottawa Citizen, or the entire National Post?]. We have no puffed-up imperialist ones like Thomas Friedman [The Canadian equivalents of Friedman pepper the ranks of the Globe and Mail]. We have no genuinely dangerous public figures like Tom Delay or Donald Rumsfeld [What about our Prime Minister, or Stephen Harper, Mike Harris, Gordon Campbell - do I need to go on?]. |
And another insane paragraph:
quote:
I'd rather have a Prime Minister who sometimes dithers - although, as a pure politician, Mr. Martin has demonstrated breath-taking skill in outmaneuvering his opponents - than a President who seems capable of nothing but lying and crying about terror while terrorizing others. |
Oh, I guess Paul Martin is okay, then. Just ignore Haiti and Afghanistan, the Security Certificate Five, Maher Arar, business ties to Suharto's family, a twelve year assault on healthcare, EI, progressive taxation and the highest increase in military spending since Korea. Paul Martin should be put on trial along with Bush and Blair and every other head of state.
Shame on Counterpunch for publishing this drivel. Canada Day is nothing but the celebration of railroad tycoons and business owners forming a state to guarantee larger loans from London and New York. All the wonderful things that exist in Canada comes from ordinary Canadians fighting these shitbags, tooth and nail. Read a history book, Chuckman.
But, alas, I guess Canadians can fall back on the trusty "at least I'm not American" adage to get them through the day. How sad, and what a wonderful way to celebrate Canada Day 
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KrazyHorse
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Macedonia
May 2001
time: 00:19
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And Americans are second to none in illegal immigration to Canada.
Duh.
EDIT: while I'm right about Americans, you're wrong about Canadians:
http://uscis.gov/graphics/shared/ab...alalien/#Table1
Both Guatemala and El Salvador are the source of more illegal immigrants than is Canada
Furthermore, out of an estimated polulation of 5 million illegal immigrants only 2.4% are from Canada, which is fairly amazing given the ease with which any Canadian citizen can cross the border...
Last edited by KrazyHorse on 04-07-2005 at 06:28
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JimmyCracksCorn
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Macedonia - Sovereign country north of Greece.
Dec 2002
time: 05:19
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quote:
Jimmy, although I agree with a number of your points, I wonder why you can't see that somebody might think that Afghanistan and Haiti are good ideas while Iraq is a bad one. |
I can, and do, see that. I'm just making a point.
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KrazyHorse
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Macedonia
May 2001
time: 00:19
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Speaking of immigration...
quote:
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among
leftleaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray
and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night.
''I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a
Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red
Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was
cold, exhausted and hungry. ''He asked me if I could spare a latte
and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.
Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. ''Not real effective," he
said. ''The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so
much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station
wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for
themselves.
''A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. ''I found one carload without a drop
of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-
education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer and watch NASCAR.
In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes
ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy
cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young
vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities
began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen
passengers.
''If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian
citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an
organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon
movies.
''I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. ''How many art-history
majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,
Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and
pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure
liberals, a source close to Cheney said. ''We're going to have some
Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species
on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out." |
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KrazyHorse
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Macedonia
May 2001
time: 00:19
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There's a dude there who makes me laugh
quote:
Hey, Crackhead.
Yes, you. You sick ****er. On Wednesday morning I emerged from my girlfriend's building by U.N. Plaza to find that you had sawed the tops off both the sparkplugs on my motorcycle. At the time, I had no idea why anyone would do that. Other than the sparkplugs, the bike was untouched. Some kind of bizarre vandalism? A fraternity prank gone awry? I had no idea. All I knew is that I looked like a huge douchebag riding the Muni to work in a padded motorcycle jacket and helmet.
Because the bike was immobilized I got a $35 street sweeping ticket that night. Thursday I had it towed to the shop ($45) where they replaced the sparkplugs and the boots ($50 including labor). They explained to me that "people" - I use the term loosely here - like you break off the tops of spark plugs and use the porcelain tubes to smoke crack. As an engineer and former MacGyver fan, in a way I think this is kind of cool. But then I remember that I just paid $100 for YOUR crackpipes, and I get angry again.
Crackhead, it was really good to have my bike back though. I rode home from the shop with a couple of spare sparkplugs and a smile on my face. I figured the next time I parked at my girlfriend's place overnight I would have to buy some crackpipes and tape them to my bike as a peace offering. Overall, I wasn't that upset. Despite having to ride the bus for three days and dropping a hundred bones at the shop, I had gained some fascinating knowledge, a new set of sparkplugs, and a pretty funny anecdote about how ****ed up you are, and how our paths once crossed briefly in the night.
But you couldn't just let sleeping dogs lie, could you Crackhead. You couldn't just stay in on Friday, watch Letterman through the window of a home electronics store and then call it a night. You couldn't rest on your laurels. Two porcelain sparkplug crackpipes just wasn't enough for you, was it Crackhead? You just had to come back for more.
This morning, a scant fifteen hours after I rode it out of the shop, I found my motorcycle violated once again. This time you only took the right one - maybe you were having an off night. At least this time I had a spare sparkplug and the tools to fix it - or so I thought - having ordered a 73-piece toolset from SEARS.com last week. But no, the sparkplug socket in my new toolset was for American sparkplugs. So I had to go down to the neighborhood Ace hardware. They had an 18mm socket that would fit over my sparkplug, but it was for a 1/2" drive ratchet. My toolkit only has 1/4" and 3/8" ratchets. So I had to buy a 1/2" ratchet along with the socket. Even though the clerk took pity on me and gave me the senior citizen discount (I'm 25) it still cost me $22 all told. Now, you might say that I should have just gotten a 3/8"-to-1/2" drive adaptor instead of springing for the whole ratchet. And to that I say "Shut the hell up, Crackhead, I'm not finished. And besides, I was eventually going to buy a 1/2" ratchet anyway so it's probably not worth it to take it back now."
OK, now I'm rambling. But the point is, Crackhead, that you have done me wrong. Now, I get that you love crack. That is totally understandable. I've heard it is really fun, at first, and quite addictive. What I don't understand is,
YOU ARE A CRACKHEAD. WHY DON'T YOU OWN A CRACKPIPE?
I am an engineer. Do you ever see me shaking down bums in the Loin for a calculator and sliderule? No, you don't. Because engineering is the main thing I do, I went and bought myself a calculator. The main thing you do is crack. How do you get by without a crackpipe? The other crackheads must clown on you non-stop. I mean, the ****ing saw you used to saw off my sparkplugs is probably worth five or ten bucks. Why not sell or trade it for a crackpipe? You really haven't put much thought into this, have you?
Please, Crackhead, please don't tell me you sold your crackpipe to buy crack. Even a stupid crackhead such as yourself couldn't possibly be that stupid.
I've decided that taping crackpipes to my motorcycle would be tantamount to appeasement. You have crossed a line, Crackhead - specifically California Street. You have come onto my own street and you have desecrated that which I hold dear. You have stolen from me, and you have caused me to spend the last half hour writing this post instead of engineering ****, and it is concievable, if not likely, that my boss could find out about this and fire me. I am hella pissed at you dude.
Here are my options as I see them:
1. Write a note saying that I have coated both of my sparkplugs in rat poison and tape it to my bike at night. You can thank Tim for that one, it was his idea.
2. Don't write a note, but just coat both sparkplugs in rat poison. This is probably closer to a punishment that would fit your despicable crime. I'm sure this is super illegal and ****, but it's not like anyone is going to miss you, Crackhead. Don't fool yourself.
3. Wait in an alley near my bike armed with my new stainless steel mirror-finish Ace Professional brand 1/2" drive socket wrench, my 18mm sparkplug socket, and my searing rage. It's pretty heavy and well balanced. I am not a large man, but I am angry.
In conclusion, Crackhead, why don't you just do both of us a favor and buy yourself a crackpipe? It will both enhance your crack smoking experience and save me a lot of time and felony assault charges. Think about it.
Sincerely,
Matt
*** If you are not the Crackhead that took my sparkplugs, please disregard this posting *** |
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04-07-2005 06:06
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