01-12-2001 05:00									#1
	Why is Britain crap at everything? Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

OK, not everything, since we still have the BBC.

But it seems we got everything wrong since Attlee left office - we tried for a mix of European statism and American laissez-faire, and by inspired incompetence, chose the worst possible option in every single case.

We have a monolithic, state-controlled health service, which is failing horribly.
We have a privatised rail system, which is failing horribly.
Our heavy industry is failing horribly.
We don't have a single well-planned city on our island.
We can't play all those sports we invented.
We get foot and mouth - it's a minor bother in Holland and Taiwan, but here it decimates our rural industry.

Is there a single aspect of British life that either Europe or America doesn't do better? Apart from the BBC...

	01-12-2001 05:12									#2
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Independant Films
Castles
Stonehenges (no one could even TRY that one!)
Museums
imperialism
Soccer
Monarchy
Making Chunnels (well, that was 50-50 but I think it was an ENGLISH idea!).
Hey, you invented golf, and tennis. So we stole them, but England still owns the rights, and St. Andrews is the coolest course in the world.
Teletubbies...kids love em!
Tanks(yup...English idea!)
Making big mustashes look cool
Dark Beer
Rain and clouds

I'll think of more later...

	01-12-2001 05:34									#3
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quote: Originally posted by sachmo71 Independant Films

Our film industry was dead from the 70's till the mid 90's, and even then, we've been living off numerous carbon copies of two or three hits.

quote: Castles Stonehenges (no one could even TRY that one!) Museums imperialism

I'm talking about Britain now - we want to be a dynamic, modern country, not some bloody living museum

quote: Soccer

We needed a bloody Swede to make us good at that

quote: Monarchy

The Scandinavians and Dutch have really cool monarchies - we've got a bunch of weirdos who think the whole world smells of new paint.

quote: Making Chunnels (well, that was 50-50 but I think it was an ENGLISH idea!).

And the trains coming in from France have to slow to half-speed to run on our tracks.

quote: Hey, you invented golf, and tennis. So we stole them, but England still owns the rights, and St. Andrews is the coolest course in the world.

Isn't St Andrews in Scotland? Incidentally, since Scotland got it's own parliament, it's becoming more and more groovy and Scandinavian, with free higher education, higher old age pensions etc... Further proof that England is crap.

quote: Teletubbies...kids love em!

Eh-oh! How proud I feel.

quote: Tanks(yup...English idea!)

We only needed them because our WWI generals were so useless.

quote: Making big mustashes look cool

We did, rather, didn't we...?

quote: Dark Beer

Actually, you're making me feel better now.

quote: Rain and clouds

Florida does that better, and it gets more sun.

	01-12-2001 05:56									#4
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Our problem is, we half-do everything. We're conservative and liberal. We're privatised and nationalised. We're European, we're American.

Unfortunately by the time we do do something, it's too late (we'll join the euro too late and be excluded from the EU yet more, mark my words...)

	01-12-2001 05:56									#5
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quote: Originally posted by Seneca Isn't St Andrews in Scotland?

Check your thread title! Britain is not the same as England!

	01-12-2001 06:01									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Chowlett Check your thread title! Britain is not the same as England!

Erm... oops...

See how screwed we are, when our own citizens don't even know where the country starts and finishes...?

	01-12-2001 06:21									#7
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Elizabeth Hurley....grrrrrowl!

	01-12-2001 06:22									#8
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Crap actress.

	01-12-2001 06:32									#9
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quote: Is there a single aspect of British life that either Europe or America doesn't do better?

We are the world champions at pessimism.

We are able to use and understand sarcasm to precision without having to highlight the fact that its sarcasm. (Also we don't misuse the word irony).

	01-12-2001 06:33									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Seneca Crap actress.

Bah. She's beautiful.

	01-12-2001 06:36									#11
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Your music isn't bad...or at least, it used to be good (Rolling Stones, Cream Queen, Beatles).

	01-12-2001 07:49									#12
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I'm with you Satchmo. I'd give my left nut for a rendevous with Ms. Hurley.

England has great music as well. My favorites include...

Blur
Radiohead
Supergrass
Pulp
Craig David

and countless others, not to mention all the great classic rock acts. Any country that produces Led Zep, the Who, the Beatles, the Stones and Eric Clapton is alright in my book.

edit. sorry, I mised your post, Zopper. I must have skipped over it in my haste to proclaim my undying love for Elisabeth Hurley.

	01-12-2001 08:19									#13
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Who needs medicare and railways, not to mention industry, when you have the wonder that is Robbie Williams!? Like he said: "I'm single handedly raising the economy" Yeaaah!

	01-12-2001 08:25									#14
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Hey, you guys make excellent music. In fact, about 95% of my mp3 collection is English. I've often considered going over there just to see why ****ing everyone make astonishing songs. How come everyone of you got great taste? Your dance music is 10 years ahead of eg. USA, who still only got dudes with pony tails in flanell shirts ripping off Pearl Jam.

	01-12-2001 08:28									#15
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I've been to England once, to London in 95, but my English was crap and I barely managed to order a coke. I ended up sneaking around outside MTV in Camden while my uncle taped it on camcorder.

	01-12-2001 08:31									#16
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quote: Originally posted by uncle_funk I've often considered going over there just to see why ****ing everyone make astonishing songs. How come everyone of you got great taste?

I've wondered the same thing. It must be something in the water.

	01-12-2001 08:38									#17
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You're pretty good at slapping around South American countries...
(guess we inherited that)

	01-12-2001 08:52									#18
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Britain is the financial center of Europe. Does well with being a center of trade as well.

Some things just ain't broken...

	01-12-2001 09:20									#19
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Black Adder!

	01-12-2001 09:58									#20
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Don't forget the part about the Brits being dirty wa|\|k stains on the sheets of the world.

	01-12-2001 10:51									#21
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If I may...

Britian's troubled at least in part because she keeps thinking that she's part of Europe, and it doesn't seem to fit her populace.

Britian is something different. She's the cultural and spiritual head of an Anglican nation. Britian has far more in common with America, Canada and Australia than she does with Europe, and I think her population won't be happy untill she realises that.

Personally, I would be damn proud to call myself a citizen of the UK.

	01-12-2001 10:54									#22
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quote: (Also we don't misuse the word irony).

Hehe... tell that to the black 'Spice Girl' interviewed on Jon Stewart.

	01-12-2001 11:56									#23
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quote: Originally posted by sachmo71 Independant Films Castles Stonehenges (no one could even TRY that one!) Museums imperialism Soccer Monarchy Making Chunnels (well, that was 50-50 but I think it was an ENGLISH idea!). Hey, you invented golf, and tennis. So we stole them, but England still owns the rights, and St. Andrews is the coolest course in the world. Teletubbies...kids love em! Tanks(yup...English idea!) Making big mustashes look cool Dark Beer Rain and clouds

All in the past my friend.

	01-12-2001 14:16									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Anunikoba All in the past my friend.

It doesn't rain in Britain anymore?

I thought of some more!

Junkyard Wars (the American host sucks!)
Battlebots (not the same show, but that British one was first)
TONS of gameshows, of which the great ol' US of A had to rip off!
Reality TV


Now, you can say I already mentioned the BBC, but it's more than that. Weakest Link brought about a small cultural revolution is the US. People run around saying "you are the weakest link...bye bye". It isn't easy to create a fad statement (see above thread) and it's something to be proud of. And reality TV? Although it's not really my cup of tea, my wife sure likes it, which by default means I have to watch it. It has spawned a PLETHORA of knockoffs over here, and you have single-handedly given us the inspiration that lowered the IQ of US citizens by 10, without even trying!! THAT, sir, is an accomplishment!

I don't know about British pessimisim...I think you are a very stalwart bunch of people. I guess you are your own worst critic, but one thing you can say about British people...you can't keep them down. Cheers!

	01-12-2001 14:52									#25
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I'm pretty Coca-Cola was orignally English...the Internet is technically English too.

We seem to have quite a few good inventions but we can't create good politicans.

	01-12-2001 15:40									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Drake Tungsten I'm with you Satchmo. I'd give my left nut for a rendevous with Ms. Hurley. England has great music as well. My favorites include... Blur Radiohead Supergrass Pulp Craig David

Blur...yeah I'll let you have that. Radiohead...yeah, used to be good. Supergrass, pretty cool and yeah, Pulp, they have talent. But what in the name of frig is CRAIG DAVID doing in there?

That putrid little weaself*cker should have his genitalia removed with a rusty razor and thrown in a vat of salt. He is an insult to my hearing.

	01-12-2001 15:45									#27
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If you don't like it, you can go live in Iraq or something.

	01-12-2001 16:03									#28
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That's because you guys can't decide whether you want to be part of the European Union or part of the United States.

	01-12-2001 16:26									#29
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I'd go with Europe probably. The US is really too far away for an effective relationship, and I don't agree with everything they do - they could do with some healthy opposition.

However, on this I would bet a dollar to a dime (sorry for the pun) that I'm massively in the minority.

	01-12-2001 18:12									#30
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-You guys don't have enough people
-You don't have enough minority people (such as blacks who excel at speed sports), you are getting a more diverse culture but still don't have the large populations of them
-You have no abundance of natural resources
-Your place is very small
-Your place lacks diversity of terrain
-Your best rank and file leaders ("The flower of a generation") were all killed during the first 50 years of the last century
-Your infrastructure was wrecked by the Germans 60 years ago, with a costly rebuilding
-Most of your money, influence, and power, was destroyed or lost during the 2 world wars
-Your weather sucks

However, Britain still remains the most networked country in the world. You guys punch above your weight given what little you have left to work with.

The only other nation besides the US that can project a large military force anywhere in the world. France can try to do it, but not with a signifcant sizable force like UK.

You guys aren't as bad as you think you are. Although I realize it's a part of British culture to be cynical about EVERYTHING.

What Dr. Spin said. Join us and the Aussies, instead of those Euros. We love you guys.