 |
| |
|
| |
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
Republic of Iraq Domestic Intelligence profile. Eyes only for President and Director Intelligence.
Senator Fareeza Rafsanjani
born: 1925, Ur, Iraq
Father: General Rafsanjanni, deceased
Mother: Hayat, a direct descendent of King Gilgamesh
Senator Rafsanjani is personable, pleasant and bright but on occasion, she expresses a strong temper and has alienated those close to her. However, she usually makes up by bribing them with presents until they are happy. She is not a good listener and only likes to hear what she wants to hear. Despite these occasional outbursts, she works well with peers and is capable of directing work.
She dresses and eats very well and is reasonbly fit for a woman of her age. She is a supporter of the arts and is contributing greatly to the Woodstock Concert to Benefit the Cleanup Workers.
Her weaknesses are mostly personal - her unpredictable temper, her poor self-image and her lack of knowledge of the outside world (although she did tour Persia and Egypt in her youth). She carries on with a 22 year old pool boy but that is not uncommon among her peer group.
She did not receive much money from her father's estate after your tax collectors were through with him but as you know mild graft is quite common these days and she has amassed a not insignificant fortune and she lives quite well in her Mother's family's compound in center of the city of Uruk.
She would make a fine domestic advisor but has amassed so much power as President of the Senate that she may not want the appointment. I would suggest your secret police team up with the taxmen to make sure she continues to be discreet in her graft.
Personally prepared by,
Pita Lorrey
P.S. I will be bringing a young Ms. Barbara Steele, an aspiring actress, to the Woodstock concert at the end of the year. Perhaps you have heard of her?
The Intelligence Agency construction in Istanbul is coming along. You should see the view!
PERS REPLY VIA TELETYPE FROM PRESIDENT TO DIRECTOR INTEL
Pita, thanks for report - but what do you think about the Senator's loyalty? Does she still hold a grudge over her father? I understand she has made several visits to my father in Tripoli. Please provide more complete reports. I already know her personality flaws! Please do put your people to work.
Also, please do work closer with Mr. Beria, we do not want to appear as an adversary to the man. Please discuss with him intelligence sharing opportunities that might be had with our new listening posts up North. Also, make sure that the new agency is developing better security of our own secrets.
Please keep up all other efforts.
Camel Hussein
P.S. I am looking forward to my visit to Istanbul and then our trip to Athens.
------
Senator Rafsanjanni read the correspondence and threw it down on the table with dismissal. She wrote a message and handed it to her most trusted advisor (and lover), a slightly runty, huge-lipped Greek boy-man who had fled the horrors of Athens and was now exceedingly in her debt - to top it off, he truly was most trusted. He was also quickly learning martial arts.
She hit the buzzer and a mousey advisor came shuffling in.
"Tell me, Cara, where the dilletante young prince is partying tonight?"
"Camel is hanging out with Frank Sinatra and Peter Lawford down at the Dubai horse races. He's been there all day."
"He pains me, this boy." She was only 30-some years old herself but her upper-class upbringing made her feel superior to Camel, the son of the military dictator.
"His direction of the country is all wrong! His misguided idealism about improving relations with the hegemons that surounded the Republic of Babylonia (as she preferred to call it) would bring this country down. And the idiocy he calls cultural entertainment - whisky swilling women-haters, brainless actresses, poncy English types in turtle necks - it is not the true culture of Babylon," she fumed. The adventure in Greece was dangerous and his continuing goading of the loathesome and unfair U.N. was just a waste of time.
Cara rubbed her nose and rolled her eyes slightly but not enough to draw Fareeza's attention.
"Meanwhile, our enemies build up their forces." She got alot of paranoia from her father, she thought. But paranoia was good because it forced you to prepare for the worst case situation.
"Some day I will rub his nose in it. All we have to do is engineer some sort of failure of his government. Then we will need to have new elections by the Senators. I have enough in my pocket to take over, I know it."
Cara stifled her yawn and asked the Senator what she wanted her to do.
"Take a note... no scratch that note... I have an idea - call in that Sicilian henchman who used to be my father's bodyguard. He still owes me a blood oath for failing to protect Daddy."
Last edited by Samuel Johnson on 16-05-2002 at 01:59
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
Republic of Iraq summary
Medium Army.
No Air Force.
Small Navy (transport)
Nuclear forces - unknown to others in story (ground truth: has two tactical nukes and a transportable missile launcher)
Republic
Building an intelligence agency headed by Pita Lorrey
Our attitudes toward other nations.
China: Cautious
BEER: Annoyed
USSR: Polite
USA: Cautious
U.K.: Furious
Japan: Polite
Iran/Persia: Gracious
Egypt: Goodness Gracious
Blueb Heaven: No contact
Canada: Cautious
India: Cautious
Alaska: Polite
Free French: Polite
Netherlands: No contact
Denmark: No contact
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
Dear Great Leader of the U.K.
(Juda put down her pen and then crossed it out.)
Dear Unprovoked Madman, Pariah of the World
(She shook her head. Nope.)
Nyah, Nyah-ne, Nyah-nah!
(Scratched out)
To the people of United Kingdom,
The Republic of Iraq acknowledges your apology for the horrible accidental attack of several months past.
We also note the U.N.'s condemnation of your irresponsibility and your current poor relations with your former allies.
We request three technologies which you know well. These will allow us to continue the great clean-up that must occur in Greece and the sites of the strikes in our desert. We request Ecology, Recycling and Nuclear Power. These technologies are non-military and are reasonable given the horrible accident.
The Republic of Iraq awaits your response.
Juda checked it for spelling and then had her transcribers make two copies - one for the Senate and one for the President. Two days later, the message was sent via special courier to the United Kingdom.
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
Camel scratched his head. Why, who was that at the end of his cabinet table. He turned in question to Juda.
"Camel, this is our guest domestic advisor for this year, Sir Alec Guinness," she said with a wry smile on her face.
Camel was speechless for a moment. "Dude - I am like your biggest fan. "Kind Hearts and Coronets" - all those parts you played. Fagin! "Man in the White Suit." "The Lavender Hill Mob." Wow - listen, can you help us build our film industry here?"
Alec smiled modestly, "why, certainly, I shall try to do what I can. Now that we have this domestic exchange with the U.K., I am sure you will be seeing more and more of our folk here, eh?"
Camel, "OK - well with that - Dr. Querty, please report"
"We are integrating the 100 scientists and engineers the English sent into our operations and we will soon start work on nuclearpower plants. Our research in computers should be done in a few years. Then we can buy you something to replace the I-MAC you shot up a few years ago."
"Yes, yes, you had to remind me."
"Um, Halie Selassie, give me a culture update. How's the party in Athens going?"
"Good evenin', Mon. Well, we have gotten all the performers under contract and they have agreed to release the proceeds to the charity and it will be a big party. We have invited all the leaders of the other countries. Only the Japanese have answered so far. They are most interested in the rock and roll bands from America and asked us if we had any blue jeans."
Camel turned to the trade advisor.
"Um," he appeared off-guard, "we can make some?"
"Excellent, make me a pair - what's your name again?"
"Jackie Levi, sir, Jackie Levi, from Caanan, Sir."
OK - one more thing. Uday. Camel looked at him with a little sympathy. Poor Uday was now in a wheelchair for life and his jaw was broken in several parts.
"Uday, now that we are helping the Greeks in the Aegan Sea, the Athens province and Crete, we will need to build some police stations to better patrol the borders and crack down on the crime. Also, I want Basra and the Northern coastal cities to start continue building destroyers and battleships. That is all."
Camel leaned back and reached for the International Herald Tribune. He had bought the business a few years before prior to the British attack and ever since the Post and the Times were oblierated in that war a few years ago, his paper was now the leading source of information for the intellgentsia. He reminded himself to take that tour of the new printing presses in Bhagdad.
Hmmm... The Russians and Canadians and their space adventures. He noted how the article wryly noted that the Russians may have landed a man on the moon but they did not know how to get him back and the poor cosmonaut was probably floating in the lunar winds right now. He decided he would send Ivan an ancient ceremonial Sumerian dagger in tribute for the Apollo program. Our forefathers once sacrificed people with it to the Gods, it was fitting.
"Oh, how is the progress with that community of religious zealots we were sending away? Have they reached HAwaii yet? I am so looking forward to that coffee plantation getting stood up."
No one answered his question, so he assumed all was on track.
Last edited by Samuel Johnson on 16-05-2002 at 02:53
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
Camel dashed a quick note to his counterpart in BEER.
Dear Sir,
In return for a steady supply of German and Belgian beer for the concert, we would welcome Beer to co-host the Woodstock concert in Athens. We look forward to the great Polish food.
Feel free to provide a list of the performers you are bringing to my Cultural Minister, Dr Halie Selassie.
Together we can bring the Greek people out of their misery.
I am sorry about saying that you shouldn't have been in the UN Security Council and we are now Cautious to BEER.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
The Republic of Iraq welcomes the new government of Egypt and reaffirms our Mutual Protection Pact. We welcome Pharoh Tutenkahmen. We thank you for your help in the recent incident with the United Kingdom.
Signed,
President Camel Hussein
Witnessed by: Senator Fareek Rafsanjanni and Foreign Minister Juda Hussein
Hand written at the bottom of this formal letter was:
"Hope you are coming to the Woodstock benefit next year, Camel."
I think that's my fifth. Night!
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Samuel Johnson
|
|
Special message to Egypt based on recent de marche from U.K.
The Iraqi people are still mad at the U.K. and as you know I lead a Republic. My Senate leader will get a vote for an alliance with these people only if Egypt requests it of us.
We suggest you handle the negotiations and squeeze the UK for everything you can get especially their technologies.
Camel Hussein
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Metaliturtle
|
 |
University of Wisconsin Stevens Point
Mar 2002
time: 23:19
|
|
For woodstock, BEER offers all the various foods from it's diverse culture, including Beer, Polish Sausage, Bratwurst, Pizza and Pasta, Gyros, Croissants, Danishes, Lefse, Lutefisk, Hamburgers, Frankfurters, Flan, sangria, Candied Yams, and French Fries, and the finest Champagne which that city has to offer. Other delicacies will be swiss chocolate, and chocolate mousse from France.
Our performers:
A band of four talented singers, the Beatles.
The guitar stylings of BB King
The powerful electric guitar of Jimmy Hendrix
The Combined Hardcore rock power of Iron Maiden, Metallica, and Black Sabbath featuring Ozzy Osborne
The BEER Navy singers will be singing the National Anthems of Iraq and Beer, as well as the older anthem of Greece, (not the tyrant's, but the funky one that was before the tyrant)
Beer looks forward to this event, and it is being heavily publicised throughout the Warsaw Pact. Mack is also making arrangements for his wedding to be held there, (pending the soon to be missus's approval)
|
|
| |
|
| |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:19.
Apolyton Time is 00:19. |
top of page
|
| archivepost |
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
15-05-2002 22:54
|