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Tarquinius
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Polish Commander,
I advise you to make your defenses ready in order to stand a chance against the coming German retaliation. However, you can still avoid a disaster for your country by returning our women and by paying us 1000 gold per day. If you don't do that, we will attack your country 4 days from now,
Chancellor Wilhelm II
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Samuel Johnson
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Uday Hussein was the chief of the secret police, the only one allowed to carry a gun in Saddam's prescence. He laughed as he watched CNN - his plans to initiate propaganda on NATO cities was working, incredibly enough. His target was Berlin and Washington and the recent demarches from the Germans indicated they had no love lost for NATO. He called up Saddam.
"Hey Daddy."
"Camel? Oh, it's you, Uday. I forgot - you're the one who talks like a girl."
"Listen, Daddy." Uday contained his anger. "Why don't we offer some secret assistance to the Germans against Poland. Perhaps, one of our spies can try to steal some of their technologies while the Mack is busy screwing one of his wenches?"
Saddam: "Let me think about it, Sonny boy. I always like the Polish sausages and they have promised to trade us secrets on the submarine. It would be a shame to blow it if your spy gets exposed. Besides, I would have to publically behead you and rape your wife and children. Let's sit this one out and wait to see what NATO and the Warsaw pact react. Also, I would have to consult the other members of the Jihad Bandy thingie. Have you tried some of the new Thai stick. It's awesome. you really do need to chill out, you know, son..."
Uday hung up the phone. "Stupid doper. Perhaps it was time to get in touch with Camel. He's insane but he always has some evil plan."
Saddam hung up his phone. "Stupid kid," he said to Halie as he took the joint from his hand, "ugly, too, but then you should have seen his mother. Hoofah!" Halie laughed.
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Samuel Johnson
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oops. i think i certainly went over three posts. Saddam sorry, chaos middle name.
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Tarquinius
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"Call for our military advisor", Chancellor Wilhelm II of Germany said to one of his servants. A few minutes later the advisor entered the room.
"Do we have an agreement with our allies?" Wilhelm asked.
"Yes, we have Herr Wilhelm. The French and Italians have promised to help us with tank divisions if needed. A large part of the British fleet will move to our blocked harbours and will open fire together with our own ships on the Polish fleet."
"Great! Send a message to the Poland and the USSR that if Poland doesn't move its fleet out, we will destroy that fleet and we will begin our attack on Poland"
"I will, Herr Chancellor. Anything else?"
"Yes, has the foreign Minister returned from his flight to Iraq yet?"
"Yes he has, he is on his way to us now"
"Splendid. In the meanwhile, did you also discuss the Aztec situation with NATO?"
"Yes we have discussed it. The European countries will stay out of it, because of the war that might start soon except for Denmark, because it wasn't present at the meeting. I don't know about them."
"Well, they aren't important anyway. They probably will help us in the war, as some of their harbours are blocked as well. These Polish dogs are too stupid to do anything right aren't they  "
"They certainly are!. But the message that only the Americans and maybe the Danish will interfere in the Aztec situation has been sent to all of the Aztec governments"
"Ah, good evening my foreign minister! How was your trip in Iraq?"
"It was a very nice trip, Herr Chancellor. Saddam was very nice to me. He seems to have wicked plans against the USSR. He really really wants nukes"
"Ah, is that so? Well, did you ask him what he would give you for that?"
"Yes, I did but he said he wanted to discuss that with you, the chancellor."
"Allright, send him a message that I am willing to give him a nuke for three years of spice and oil supplies"
"Yes, that seems fair. But aren't you afraid he will use it against us, or the NATO?"
"Well, he promised not to use it against us, so I will trust him. He will get nukes eventually though, so why shouldn't we make profit from it?"
"You are absolutely right, Herr Chancellor. I immediately send a message to Saddam"
"Good, then we are done here. I will see you again later this week, when we will consult about the Polish situation again"
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civman2000
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of the Martian Empire
Jun 2001
time: 23:19
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When news of NATO's rejection of his plan, Guy Ana knew he was doomed. His last hope was to send nearly the entire army to the crucial city of Bogota, which the BLueb forces were quickly approaching....
THE BATTLE OF BOGOTA:
Defending: 400,000 Guyanan infantry, 10,000 cavalry.
Attacking: 200 American-made tanks, 100,000 Bluebish infantry, 30 American-made bombers, 50,000 Bluebish cavalry, 30,000 American infantry, 4,000 American cavalry, 100 American-made haevy artillery, 300 Bluebish light artillery.
THe battle opened up with massive bombings and artillery bombardment, greatly weakening the Guyanan forces. THe tanks then charged, doing even more damage but the majority retreating. The Guyanan cavalry counterattacked, and were torn to bits by the infantry on the other side. A massive Bluebish-American charge followed, decimating the Guyanan forces. The bombers, having refueled, came back for another wave. In the end, 180,000 Guyanans were taken prisoner because they ran out of ammuntion. THe GUyanan army was absolutely crushed. Within a few days, a huge mass of Bluebish and American forces stormed Georgetown. THe Great Aztec Civil War has finally ended, with the loyalists winning!
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civman2000
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of the Martian Empire
Jun 2001
time: 23:19
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3 posts per day??? Why didnt you say so earlier???
The Civs/Alliances:
NATO:
In conflict but not at war with Warsaw pact.
America:
Large Army
Small Navy
Large Airforce
Some Nukes
Govt: Democracy
Ruler: Dubya (civman2000)
Tech Level: Early Modern
Denmark:
Small Army
Medium Navy
Small Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Republic
Ruler: Prime Minister Uffe Sjursen (Toasty)
Tech: Early Modern
Italy:
Medium Army
No Navy
Medium Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Republic
Ruler: Mario Corleoni (Commander Steve)
Tech Level: Early Modern
France:
Small Army
Medium Navy
Medium Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Republic
Ruler:?
Tech: Early Modern
Germany:
Large Army
No Navy
Medium Airforce
Few Nukes
Govt: Republic
Ruler:Tarquinius
Tech: Early Modern
Britain:
Small Army
Huge Navy
Large Airforce
Few Nukes
Gov't: Constitutional Monarchy
Ruler: ?
Tech: Early Modern
Blueb Heaven:
Medium Army
Medium Navy
Small Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Fascism
Ruler: ?
Tech Level: Late Industrial
Warsaw Pact:
USSR:
Huge Army
Small Navy
Small Airforce
Few Nukes
Govt: Communism
Ruler: Ivan Aronovich (Rotten999)
Tech Level: Early Modern
China:
Huge Army
No Navy
No Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Communism
Ruler: ?
Tech: Late Industrial
Poland:
Huge Army
Small Navy
No Airforce
Few Nukes
Govt: Communism
Ruler: Metaliturtle
Tech Level: Late Industrial
Greece:
Small Army
Small Navy
Small Airforce
Few Nukes
Govt: Communism
Ruler: ?
Tech: Early Modern
Canada:
Medium Army
Medium Navy
Large Airforce
Govt: Republic
Ruler: William Canuk (SKILORD)
Tech Level: Early Modern
Band of the Jihad:
Plotting a nuclear attack on everyone
Iran:
Medium Army
No Navy
No Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Theocracy
Ruler: ?
Tech: Late Industrial
Iraq:
Small Army
Small Navy
No Airforce
Few Nukes
Govt: Theocracy
Ruler: Camel Huissain (Samuel Johnson)
Tech Level: Late Industrial
Egypt:
Medium Army
Small Navy
Small Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Republic
Ruler: ?
Tech Level: Early Modern
Native Alliance:
Japan:
Small Army
Large Navy
Medium Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Monarchy
Ruler: ?
Tech Level: Early Modern
Zulu Empire:
Large Army
Small Navy
No Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Republic
Ruler: ?
Tech Level: Late Industrial
Other/No alliances:
India:
Small Army
Small Navy
No Airforce
No Nukes
Govt: Democracy
Ruler: ?
Tech Level: Early Modern
I plan on constantly updating this post (unlike SKILORD is doing with the first post  ) to include both alliances and military/nuclear buildups, as well as the world map (note: Blueb Heaven (aka Aztecs) has been reverted back to green).
MAP:
 Attachment: map.gif
This has been downloaded 43 time(s).
Last edited by civman2000 on 13-05-2002 at 00:08
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civman2000
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of the Martian Empire
Jun 2001
time: 23:19
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Dubya chuckled upon reading the Soviet report. "Averting a possible nuclear holocaust", LOL. Hidden to the world, American troops moved Northward, approaching the Canadian border.
Meanwhile, nuclear silos throughout the country were quickly filling up.
"Certain responsibilites, especially averting a possible nuclear holocaust."
Dubya couldnt help but burst out into maniacal laughter.
"Any nuclear aggression will be answered in kind." Not if all their nukes have already been sabotaged, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He then remembered that he had work to do! He had just received the OK from the Senate, and he began typing a message to Canada:
Prime Minister William Canuk of the Dominion of Canada,
DO you realize what you are doing? By beign in the Warsaw pact, you are supporting Tyranny and a horrible disrespect of human rights. You oppose all ideas of freedom on which your republic government is based. You have one last chance to make up for these sins and join NATO. THere are also political reasons for doing so. Right now, NATO is equally strong or even stronger than the Warsaw Pact. If you join NATO, NATO will be he strongest alliance system in the world by far and you will have no worries about being on the losing side in a war. The last reason is that the American Armyis prepared to crush your nation if given ANY provocation from ANY member of the Warsaw Pact.
You have 2 weeks to decide whether to side with good or evil.
President Dubya of the United States of America
Last edited by civman2000 on 12-05-2002 at 01:48
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Tarquinius
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"Criminal Nation? Hah" Chancellor Wilhelm said.
"Yes it is really redicilous, Poland still haven't move its ships out of our ports!" the foreign advisor replied.
"Yeah, who is the criminal nation here? Stealing our women, raiding our lands, blocking our ports...."
"Shall I give the sign to the British allies so that they can open fire on the Polish ships?"
the military advisor asked
"Yes, it is about time. Send a message to the USSR which says that we were just protecting our countries. If Poland returns our women quickly and pays a tribute we might forget our invasion of Poland. NATO is backing Germany, so...."
"Yes, I will send it immediately the foreign advisor interrupted."
"Oh, wait, also, the list of nations which the UN have posted says that Iraq have nukes. But that isn't true, I just offered him one, but he hasn't responded to that yet."
"I will tell them, Herr Chanccellor"
"The British and the German fleets have engaged the Polish fleet!" the Military advisor shouted excitedly. "Our fleets have already destroyed half of the Polish fleet, and we only lost one German and two British ships!"
"Excellent! That will teach him. I will go to Hamburg now. And from there I will visit the, of course victorious, German fleet"
"Good, Herr Chancellor. I will meet you there in six hours."
"So, the Polish fleet is completely destroyed?"
"Yes, Herr Chancellor! They tried to flee but they couldn't pass a second British fleet, coming from the east!"
"Great, this will teach them. Make our tank and infantry divisions ready to invade Poland, and ask our allies to send their troops to the eastern part of Germany"
"I will, herr Chancellor"
"Finally, I want you to ask for help from our American allies, if the USSR decide to a full scale war. We could certainly use their excellent military against the communists!"
"It will be done, Herr Chancellor"
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civman2000
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of the Martian Empire
Jun 2001
time: 23:19
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OOC: Wow, amazing, Metaliturtle was able to silence everyne for 11 hours! Btw, since when was the UN built? But wait...I postedit and I'm AMerican, so the Americans must have the UN  . Also, the Greek navy has been shrunken to small to represent losses hwile destroying the Italian navy. ALso, what's this about Japansuddenly being involved 
Dubya was anxious. He had just minutes before he would know whether Congress had agreed to declare war on the Warsaw Pact. Tanks and a few of the new mechanized infantry were already on their way to Europe, and subs as well as aircraft carriers armed with nukes roamed the pacific, especially the Chinese coast. And the heart of the military was ready to pour into Canada. And all it would take would be a simple declaration of war, and the worldwide American Empire would be realized. Just a simple declaration of war.
The telephone rang. Dubya picked up immediately. It was his vice president, Cheney. He said, "Both houses have unanimously--" Dubya smiled "--rejected the declaration of war."
"WHAT????"
Fearing the presidents wrath, Cheney hung up. Dubya cursed a few times, and then called his generals together.
"This is an order: I want all of the important Southern Canadian cities captured. Land troops in Poland behind the border fortifications, and lastly, activate the reserves and prepare to use them. I'm gonna try to get a new draft law passed."
He then left the dumbfounded generals and returned to the capitol to request a draft.
One hour later, Cheney called him again: "THe draft bill has died in subcommittee in both houses."
"What the $*#& is going on?!!!!?!!"
"All of COngress has suddenly turned Democrat. And no, you do not have the power to fire me." He hung up.
Despite the defeat of the draft law, the american army is huge but losses in canada bring it back down to large. The airforce is now large and the blockade was broken by AMerican ships. The navy is now small but very advanced and mainly carriers. Some of Southern Canada is (at least temporarily) conquered, as well as some of Poland. Map is updated above.
Last edited by civman2000 on 12-05-2002 at 18:12
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Samuel Johnson
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Six months passed and still Camel lay in his cell. Today he was face down on his bunk watching the drool fall to the floor thinking about holding some cockroach races later in the day. Last year, he had called Guy Ana to blackmail him into getting him freed from Niveneh but months had passed and nothing happened.
They had long ago found his cell phone and even Uday came down to talk to him about it but by that time he was so drugged up, he could only make horse-like sounds. Whoa, it looked like the left side drool was beating the right side drool to the floor. It also had a more mucus-laden appearance to it...cool - I..
Suddenly, he felt a gentle hand on his neck. He looked up into the light and saw what looked like a beautiful angel with dark hair, kind of a Mena Survari type look to her except darker and talker and... "Whoa." At that point the light went out.
****
Moments, seconds, minutes, hours, days, maybe weeks later, Camel opened his eyes. He was in some sort of cave with candles and all sorts of dark implements on the wall. He looked around and saw the angel coming towards him again.
"Hi, I'm Juda. You are Camel. How are you doing?"
"F-f-fine. Where am I?"
"You are at the secret hide-out of the Spice Farm Collective. We have arisen in the past year to oppose your father's illegal drug cultivation and for kicking us off our farms and sending our men into training for a war."
"Oh. OK. But you're rebels and since I'm the King, you are rebelling against me."
"Camel, you had to get over this king complex. You are the heir to the throne, sure, but Saddam still lives and opposes the freedom seekers. We need your help to get assistance from the Native Alliance who will support the overthrow of Saddam and keep us out of the coming Holocaust to the north."
Camel shook his head. She was right. I'm not King. Why do I keep thinking that I am. "Ok, what's this about a Holocaust to the north?"
Juda filled him in on what had transpired in the past year.
".... and then our spies told us that Saddam received a reply from the Germans that they would provide him the nuke technology if he..."
Camel spit, "you mean, he has a bomb??"
"No silly. There's no uranium in Iraq, after all..."
Oh. Camel sat back and thought of those intelligence reports he had received last year. Where was the uranium at, again? Uh... oh yeah, Greece... Oh sh**."
Last edited by Samuel Johnson on 12-05-2002 at 19:53
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Samuel Johnson
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Dear my most cool leader of Deutschland,
Of course, we accept your kind offer and look forward to many years of peace and trade between our countries.
Would you happen to have any maps of Greece, by the way? My wife and I are planning a little camel riding vacation in that area this year.
Insanely yours,
Saddam
P.S. The Whore of Babylon says you owe her 50 Euroes but she said she'll take dollars if you hae them.
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Samuel Johnson
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Melina Mercouri, the most beloved woman in Greece - former movie star and now popular politician, stretched out on the couch like a huge but lithe cat. "Urrrrr... Uday, you were *****in', what is it with you Iraqis, you are so animal-like! I loved it, I loved it."
Uday shuddered even as he smiled and leaned over to kiss her. After all, Melina was now about 80 years old and while she still looked like a cat, it was kind of an old cat. The things I do for Saddam, he mused, as he quickly smothered her with the chloroform.
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Rotten999
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Milwaukee, WI
Mar 2002
time: 23:19
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"You know the drill, Beria. This is a "great patriotic war." Pull out all the Eastern Orthodox religious propaganda you can get your hands on. Paint the enemy as in bed with muslims and godless Americans. I don't really need to say this, do I?" Aronovich sized up Beria. The Commissar looked eager, almost like a child at the gates of an amusement park.
"The people will be enflamed against the West." Beria lit another cigarette.
"Move the Red Guards into Poland. Remember, we are the peace keepers. We fight defensively, and see how eager the west is to escalate the situation. China has sworn to send aid to Canada, assuming the naval treaty with Japan holds. Those Americans will pay for their arrogance."
Beria sneered. "Frat boy president, they say."
Aronovich said nothing. His old school, Smolensk A and M, was known more for football than academics.
"The west expects us to blink...we shall see. Tell Germany that any aggression will be entirely their own fault."
"Yes, Comrade." The NKVD man saluted and exited.
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Tarquinius
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After the American attack behind the enemy borders had confused the Polish, the European armies attacked the front line. The Polish had fortified their positions, but were still no match for the vast amount of tanks and infantry. The Eurpeans met the Americans just before Warsaw.
They divided the tasks: the Americans would invade Poland, the Europeans would go south to attack Greece.
"We must act quickly, Herr Chancellor. If the Chinese and Soviet armies are fully mobilized it will be very tough to make any progress."
"I am aware of that. Ask for reinforcements from Italy. We should also draft troops in our African colonies and let fly over to here."
"Our bombers and British bombers are bombing Athens and other Greek cities as we speak"
"Good. Don't forget to try to convince Greek people to join us. They were capitalistic once..."
"We certainly will try. But I am sorry, herr Chancellor, I got work to do now"
"Yes, don't let me keep you. I will see you again next week."
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Commander Steve
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Of the Nation of Retarded Weasels
May 2002
time: 23:19
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hey, I'm going to be Italy, my ruler name is going to be Mario Corleoni
"Tell Germany we will not support her anymore"
"why sir?"
"Her hostilities have led to us losing our navy, I cannot condone a course of action that will lead to the loss of italian lives, besides, remember the last war? It was Germany that got all of us killed. I am declaring us neutral until I can see a better course of action. Also, send a messenger to Greece asking for their demands for peace."
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Metaliturtle
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University of Wisconsin Stevens Point
Mar 2002
time: 23:19
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The polish army combined with air support, and led by their cossack mercenaries moves into Germany, taking all the land up to France's border, and North of Austria. Germany has virtually No Army. Meanwhile the American offensive never came because the American congress voted against war, and was tied up in Canada.
Polish spies plant a warhead somewhere in the United States, and then kill themselves with cyanide capsules.
More nuclear devices have been produced in Poland.
The incoming Polish navy from Canada attacks the crippled British fleet in the gulf south of Scandinavia, bringing that whole gulf under Polish control.
Mack requests military aid from the USSR.
Transmission to the U.S. from Mack the Pollack: Dubya, there is a nuclear device somewhere in your country. If I see that American Flag anywhere near Poland, you might as well give up, because I will NOT hesitate to use it.
Transmission to Italy from Mack the Pollack: Wise descision Mario, I offer you a position in the Warsaw alliance should you prove your mettle by restricting trade through your country for the remaining German, French, British, and Danish forces.
Transmission to Germany from Mack the Pollack: Your Offensive failed, how do you like Austria? BTW, there is a nuclear device hidden in your country somewhere as well.
Transmission to Nato from Mack the Pollack: Revoke Germany's charter, or more lives may needlessly need to be taken.
Transmission to Warsaw pact from Mack the Pollack: Let's get 'em fellas!
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11-05-2002 21:01
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