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Imran Siddiqui
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The Potterverse
Jan 1970
time: 00:20
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Like I said:
The Big Bad Super Finale
In the stadium the clown car was wizzing around. MLeonard took this chance to levitate back down to the outjutting balcony, overseeing the stadium and watching people squirm. He liked to see people squirm, after all he was from Massachusettes, where people enjoyed squirming so they wouldn't have to pay the high taxes.
Siro: Wow! He really is powerful. He made the sky go dark!
Imran: Yes, Siro. In the rest of the world this 'special power' is called night time.
Suddenly a flash came around. Two ferrets, both wearing suits and sunglasses (even though it dark) made their way to the careening clown car. It was flowery and white and simply out of control. The ferrets, being as agile as they were, went to the door, unlocked it, opened it, and stepped out of the way, as 15 clowns came tumbling out.
Two of the clowns were Ming and MtG.
Vito (aka Ferret #1): Our work here is done.
Dolph (aka Ferret #2): Later boys.
We have no ideas what were the ferrets motives, but if we could understand that, we'd be Gods. It would be very nice to be Gods, because then we could make this story funny rather than banal and stuff. We'd also change the whole script. Mark should have been the...
Imran: HEY! Stop that! I'm writing this, so stop your whining!
I'm in control, what are you going to do?
Imran: I could hit the Submit Reply button ending the story and killing you.
 Alrighty then. Anyway, 15 clowns came tumbling out, and 2 were Ming and MtG...
Imran: Better.
The other 13 clowns ran away and could only get as far as the first row of seats before they were killed by angry Japanese who blamed all of life's problems on silly American clowns.
MLeonard: Hmmm... I think I have an idea.
Ming and MtG stopped being clowns at that moment. Instead they were both dressed in black, and both at the moment, spotlighted by the lights.
MLeonard turned to DanQ and Mark, who were both standing to the side of him. DanQ was picking his nose, while Markos was trying hard as he could not to pee his pants. He had a feeling that he knew what MLeonard was thinking.
MLeonard: Markos, you have failed me badly. Already the Communists are failing. The Turks have won and are moving on to face Senegal (nice job on that one Dan). Why shouldn't I kill you now?
Markos: Um... because I'm a sexy Greek man with programming skills from God?
MLeonard: Not good enough. And I'm not into Greeks anyway, hair gets everywhere. No, I won't kill you..
Markos: 
MLeonard: But I will banish you! For the rest of your days you will play CTP1 and ONLY be able to post on that.
Markos: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
MLeonard: Yes. Or would you rather join Dan, as a Cyborg computer?
Markos: Dan's a cyborg?
MLeonard: Yes, making him Canadian was the perfect trick. I mean, who'd know he was a robot up there? His personality fit in. 
Markos: *gulp*
MLeonard: NOW be gone!
Markos found himself transported. He was out of the stadium, but also out of anywhere he knew. There was a small table in front of him with a slooooow laptop. And the only thing on it was CTP, and it had NO internet connection. The door was barred, and Markos was seriously wondering if Hell was such a bad idea after this.
MLeonard: Now, Ming, MtG, I need an apprentance. Markos has failed me. Both of you will fight to be my second.
Ming: You think we'll fight for your amusement? That is where you are wrong! We won't bow to you, right Mt.... AHHHH!
At that moment, Ming realized that MtG was coming at him with his banning rod blazing trying to impale him. Ming stepped out of the way and blazed his banning rod. MtG's was green, symbolizing the army. Ming's was blue, symbolizing the Chicago Cubs, and the feelings he got when watching them play.
MtG aggressively fought, while Ming defensively parried the blows. He had no intention of killing MtG at all.
Imran and Siro stared at each other. Mr Fun and red_jon looked uneasily. They were helping THIS madman? He was definetly not moderatly liberal, even if he was attractive in those black robes, it could not be helped. He was pure evil. They couldn't back him anymore. They approached Imran and Siro.
Mr Fun: Um...
Red_jon: So...
Imran: Yes?
Mr Fun: I'm thinking we were wrong.
Red_jon: Yeah, he's a bastard. Can we join you?
Siro: Well...
Imran: I guess... but what can we do now?
Siro: Well, we can pick him up and throw him into the stadium?
Mr Fun: Like Star Wars? But...
Red_jon: Well it would fit with the whole Emperor and light saber motif.
Imran: Yeah, but he can FLY.
Siro: Oh, right. Well, we'll come up with something.
Mr Fun: I hope so.
Meanwhile, Eli and Asher were on the prowl. Asher was mad at being dragged into the story, and Eli just didn't like Imran being a Muslim and Siro for following him. They dipped into an area and heard some noise. Seemingly it was someone in the Turkish Locker Room, where the Turks were locked up since MLeonard closed all the gates. Eli and Asher stared at the scene from a window.
They couldn't believe what they saw. Paiktis on his knees begging for some 'satisfaction'  . The Turkish players were all in one corner now, as they had no way to get out, while paiktis was advancing.
Asher: I knew it! He's a closet homo!
Eli: Um... that wasn't the suprising part. He's Greek, they Turks.
Asher: Oh right... then his hatred for Turks was merely to cover up his feelings of love and lust for them. Makes perfect sense.
Eli: I knew he was a Muslim lover.
Asher: I still don't like being portrayed like this thought. I mean, who do you thin...
At this point the narrator was so fed up with Asher's pathetic whining, that he simply wrote him out of the story and Asher dissapeared in a flash.
Eli: Guess it is just me and the Muslims.
Eli began to strap grenades onto him and plotted to blow himself up to kill the evil Muslims. He was all ready. He looked in the glass, and then pulled all the pins out. Unfortunetly, he forgot to realize that you have to be among the people you wish to kill. Eli didn't realize until it was too late that he forgot to enter into the Turkish locker room, before removing the grenade pins. He blew up harmlessly out in the corridor.
Imran: What was that?
Siro: Sounded like a terract. Right near the Turkish Locker Room. See, I told you about those Musl..
Imran: Shut up.
Siro: No, serious..
Imran: No, shut up, we are there.
Siro: Oh.
Mr Fun: It looks like there are no guards here.
Red_Jon: Didn't you know in every movie, when the good guys try to get the bad guy in the end, all the guards take their coffee breaks?
Siro: Well, lucky us.
Meanwhile, the fight was still going on. MtG was slashing fast and hard. He always thought he deserved the #2 role, but Ming always got the credit. This was the time he'd show everyone. Ming, though, was ready for every blow. Suddenly, Ming knocked MtG's banning rod out of his hands.
Ming: MtG.. you've been consumed by greed and evil. It's what MLeonard wants you to think!
MtG: Markos said this was how moderaters were supposed to act.
Ming: He was working for them! Can't you see.
MtG thought about this for a while. To make the story MUCH shorter, we won't tell you his thoughts, except one: Heidi Klum on a beach. How this made the difference, no one will ever know, but it did. MtG picked up his banning rod, but turned it on MLeonard, as did Ming.
MLeonard: WHAT? Insolence?
Stunned, he never heard Imran, Siro, Mr Fun, and Red_jon pick him up and throw him over.
Siro: Woohoo!
Imran: I told you he could fly!
And fly he did. Higher than anything in the stadium.
Siro: Oh oh!
And Siro dashed for the corridor, followed quickly by Imran, Mr Fun and Red_jon.
MLeonard: NOW YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH!!
But at this yelling, a *BOOM* came from the sky. From the North, a massive horse burst forth, with a chariot behind him. It was EvC and he was cackling. From the South another horse, and CivNation was on this one with his bible in his hand. From the East, Joe (the racist) on a Mustang. The last horse came from the West, RainbowJDS.
Ming: How many horsemen was that?
Imran: Oh oh... The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
Apocalypse: Anyone call?
All: NO!
Apocalypse: Oh, ok... no need to yell.
As the Four Horsemen cross the sky a yell of "I TOLD YOU SO, DAMN ATHEISTS" was heard from the crowd. Siro could swear that was Natan.
Imran gets down on and prostrates.
Siro: What are you doing?
Imran: Praying, now be quiet.
In a few seconds, fire and brimestone was thrown down. The world turned black and everything ending.
The End
Everything was black.
Imran: Hello? Anyone there?
Ming: Hi? Imran?
Imran: Yeah... who's that?
Ming: It's Ming.
Imran: Oh, so where are we?
Ming: I'm thinking the world ended and we are the only two people alive. I think God forgot to call us up to heaven...
Imran: Or send us to Hell. So, can someone turn on the light?
Ming: Here, wait a sec.
Ming lights his banning rod and both are seen.
Ming: So what now?
Imran: I guess we'll have to repopulate humanity. Now bend over.
Ming: WHAT?! I'm a man, I can't have a kid.
Imran: Have you ever tried?
Ming: Nooooo... but...
Imran: If you haven't it, you can't knock it.
Ming: Um... but why me? I have the banning rod!
Imran: It's in the script.
Ming flips hurriedly through the script. He gets to the end and frowns. Imran is smiling.
Ming: That's not fair, you wrote this!
Imran: Well one of us has to have the kid that will continue humanity. You have wider hips.
Ming: ....
Imran: Come on, your prostate will love you for it.
Ming: *sigh*
Ming assumes the position as the banning rod flickers out.
Director: CUT! That's a wrap.
Ming: Whew... saved.
Boris: Well, while you are in that position...  .
Ming begins to run extremely fast.
The Real End (which ever way you want it to be)
THANK YOU! Everyone for reading this, thanks. Boris, some great comedy from you  . Ozzy, very nice indeed. Thanks for jumping in. H Tower, thanks for the encouraging comments in the beginning that kept me going. Thanks most of all to Siro and Ming! Siro who I bounced ideas off in the beginning, and Ming who made me get into line and hammer out an ending and a decent plot!
Thank you all! *black roses fall around Imran's feet, and Devilmunkin hands him a bouquet of dead roses*
Um... well, thanks anyway!
*bows*
(Btw, this finale... took me 55 minutes to write... hope you liked it)
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19-06-2002 04:32
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