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Sirotnikov
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<--- Yes, It's a "kitty" in a boot.
Feb 2000
time: 07:20
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OOC: ROFL @ Starchild and Boris.
(somewhere in Germany)
(somewhere in Berlin)
(somewhere on Leipzig St. 45)
(somewhere in the basement)
Rogan Josh: Andreas? Vhere are you, Andreas?
Andz: I'm here my liege. I'm called Ecthelion now, my liege.
Rogan: Your father-given name is Andreas. It is your name. Let's not deal wiz nonsense, shall we?
Andz: But what's the problem with calling me Ecthelion? It's cool!
Rogan: Come, I said! I shall have none of dis! You obey!
Andz looks humiliated to the floor: Alright. Obviously my liege.
Rogan: Now we have to vipe the history of our shameful decline in the 20th century.
Andz: You mean? We have to recreate the Reich?
Rogan: No, vi shall recreate the Empire.
Andz: huh?
Rogan: How dare you hum at royalty! Have you forgotten already! I'm the illegal second grand child of the Keiser!
Andz: Yes, of course my liege.
Rogan: The last person who laffed at me was Comrade Dan. You don't see much ov him lately, do you?
Andz: Of course not, my liege.
Rogan: Good. I have a plan. My intelligence tells me that the Vinnish have developed a combat hovercraft. Do you know vat it means?
Andz: That they have way too much free time on their hands?
Rogan: Vell… dat is true, but also, that ve must defeat it! And to do that, we shall use what our forefathers used!
Andz: A racist supremacist ideology?
Rogan: No, what are ve, Israelis? We use U-Boats!
Andz: What?
Rogan: Sbumarines. Don't you vatch cheesy American summer movies?
Andz: No my liege. I will begin right away.
Rogan: No, after we are done. Prepare the boat, we have Finnish to hunt. And shine my shoes while you're at it!
(fade out)
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Natan
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New York State
Sep 2000
time: 00:20
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*Natan swoops down on Siro, Imran, and co., while dressed in complete Ayatollah Khomeini costume*
Natan: Brother Imran! You have defiled yourself! You must pay the price!
Imran: Who? What?
Natan: In my capacity as head of the Popular Front for the Violent Liberation of American Goods from Middle Eastern Department Store Display Cases, I demand that you turn over the porn and ham immediately. And the schnapps too. You are under people's arrest for this behavior which is harmful to public morals.
Imran, brandishing bottle: From these cold dead fingers . . .
Siro: Natan? Natan?
Natan: Quiet! This is on highest orders from the leaders of our people!
Siro: You mean our teacher, master, and leader Ariel Sharon, may he live long and be blessed?
Natan: No, he's just a figurehead. History049, known to the masses by his Hebrew nickname Bob Dornan, is really in charge. And he's a Commie. He has ordered me to foil your plans through my Islamic fundamentalist movement which is really a communist front.
Siro: I think I'm going to cry.
Natan: Imran, you'd better behave yourself, or I'll send you to the Party Sub-committee for the Liberation of the Heads of Evildoers From Their Oppressive Capitalist Torsos.
Imran: Never! I'll show you what a real Pakistani-American libertarian deist college undergrad is made of . . .
* Natan grabs Imran in one arm, while holding schnaps in the other. Removes turban to reveal yarmolke, which sprouts electric beenie. Natan flies away with Imran while swigging alcohol *
Siro: Don't you know better than to drink and fly?
* Natan crashes into adjacent field, releasing Imran *
Natan: We leftists will foil your plans yet! Bwahahaha!
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Sirotnikov
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<--- Yes, It's a "kitty" in a boot.
Feb 2000
time: 07:20
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Siro: History049 has gone red? How could that be?
Natan: Beats me - but hey, he just turned 15. He's a teenager. Can you spell Moodswings.
Siro: M - u - d - s
Imran: Stop that.
Siro: Sorry.
Natan: So will you help me?
Siro: I have to choose between my loyalty to the country and my loyalty to the plot...
Imran: Come on, we made plans! It's a beautiful finish that we have instore.
Natan: Two words - World Domination. Three worlds - Jewish World Domination.
Siro: Oh GOD! I can't choose this! Help!!
Suddenly Natan falls to his knees and cries : "I hear you oh blessed is your name" as a beam of light strikes him from the heavens.
Siro and Imran stare at each other and then stare at Natan.
Natan: aha... yeah... ok... but I.... but I... ok... yeah... ahhh.. oooh... good.
Siro: I'm afraid to ask.
Imran: Ok, I think I'm going back to being religious.
Natan: aha, ok I was told not to interefere with your plans. It'll work itself out for the best  I'll go to inform our leader.
Siro: But what did he say.
Natan: Sorry son, you should have read your Talmud better.
Siro: What??? What??
Natan takes out a donkey out of nowhere and rides to an undiscolsed location.
Imran: Ok, you know, I once doubted the jews being the chosen people and so on, you know...
Siro: and...
Imran: And now I lost all respect for you guys. I mean, you're total wakos. People of the book my ass. You're crazy.
reismark: Hey look it's MarkG?
Imran: Where?
The three run inside the stadium.
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Boris Godunov
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Portland, OR
Aug 2001
time: 00:20
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After racing inside, Imran, Reismark and Siro were bewildered to see MarkG had vanished.
Imran: Now where the hell did he go?
Siro: Vanished again...maybe he IS a mirage...
Reismark: I hear footsteps to the left! Let's go!
The trio took off down the left passageway. Just as they rounded a corner, Imran ran head first into something unseen and was thrown back on his ass, knocking the other two down with him. As the collected their wits (a quick process, of course), they looked up to see Boris sprawled out on the floor in front of them. Having come into contact with human flesh, his Invisihomo was suddenly deactivated.
Boris: (Feeling his face) No damage? Ah! Good...
Imran, Siro and Reismark in Unison: BORIS!!!
Boris sprang up from the floor, and then gritted his teeth in disgust. The Repugnicans.
Boris: So! You three think you can foil our plans? Don't think you can stop me, you bastards!
Imran: You'll never make the world safe for social justice while we're around, Boris Badunov!
Siro: Ha! Good one, Imran! Badunov! Just like in Rocky and Bullwinkle. Cute play on "Godunov," yeah!
*Imran stares coldly at Siro*
Siro: Um, sorry, I'll, um, just be quiet.
Reismark: Can I do something?
All: No!
Imran: Your commie games end here, Boris!
With that, Imran drew from his pants...(heehee)...a gleaming scimitar! Siro and Reismark "ooohed" in appreciaton.
Boris: You call that a sword? This...is a sword...
And with that, Boris drew from his pants the largest bastard sword anyone had ever seen. Siro and Reismark gasped in awe, while Imran's eyes widened in fear.
Boris: Let's to it pell-mell. If not to heaven, then hand-in-hand to Hell.
Imran: Huh?
Boris: (rolling his eyes). Shakespeare, doofus. En garde!
And Boris lunged...
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OzzyKP
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Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:20
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.quote:
Originally posted by Sirotnikov(ozzy, while you predate me on the forums, i hardly know you, therefore it's tough for me to write you in, since i know little about you.
perhaps you could write yourself in? )
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Thats cause I stay away from Mid-East threads.
And dispite my best efforts you OT folks never seem to acknowledge my presence. 
And I already wrote myself in, didn't you read my post about the Libertarian Hordes?
I'm the Youth Rights, Metalhead, Libertarian, CNN Appearing fella.
Uhhh, I'll say it again, but my presence still won't be acknowledged. (keeping with the tradition of making the best out of double posts). The Civ2 Multiplayer guys know me at least.... I hope....
Last edited by OzzyKP on 18-06-2002 at 08:05
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Boris Godunov
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Portland, OR
Aug 2001
time: 00:20
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The Fight...
Imran barely managed to deflect the sudden assault from Boris. The air revereberated with the sound of steel clashing against steel. Sparks lit up the Stadium corridor as Boris unleashed an onslaught of blows that Imran had to struggle to defend against.
Realizing he was on the defensive, Imran dove to his left, did a somersault, ran towards the wall, bounded off the wall at a 45 degree angle, did a backflip over Boris's head and ended up on the other side of him.
Boris: Show off.
Imran: It's from dodging gunfire from Israeli soldiers.
Boris: Have at you!
Boris swung again, and Imran had to duck to escape the strike. Boris surged forward, his steel slicing the air furiously. With a deft move, he dropped to a crouch, swung out his leg and performed a fabulous spin kick in order to knock Imran's legs out from under him. Imran leapt over Boris's leg agilely, however, and went on the attack, swinging his scimitar down towards Boris's head. Boris blocked the attack with his broadsword, and for a moment he and Imran we're face to face.
Boris: I will make curtains out of your entrails!
Imran: You're just mad because Bush won fair and square!
Boris: AAAAAAARGH NO HE DIDN'T!!! HE STOLE FLORIDA!!!
With that, Boris pushed forward, striking out wildly. Imran could barely keep up with horrific onslaught.
Siro: I have to say, the both have dazzling form, by jove.
Reismark: Yes, yes. Jolly good, pip pip.
Boris had Imran almost backed into a corner now. In a desperate attempt to break free, Imran lunged at Boris, but Boris was too quick, and took advantage of Imran's unsteady balance to knock him back against the wall with a kick. Imran, winded, dropped the scimitar.
Siro and Reisemark: GASP!
Boris: (holding tip of sword to Imran's adam's apple) Now, at last, you're doom is sealed!
Imran: You won't do it, Boris!
Boris: (laughing) Oh no? And why not?
Imran: Because...I know in reality you're a Social Democrat, not a Communist, and has no real problem with a disparity in wealth so long as the lowest strata of society is protected from abject poverty, given universal healthcare and has equality of opportunity. That may be leftist by my standards, but it's not Communist!
Boris paused. Blinked.
Boris: Well...I mean, it's SILLY to be a total Communist. Who would want that? I mean...
Imran: AHA!
Imran sprang forward, knocking Boris's sword out of his grasp with one hand and using the other to deliver a solid sucker punch to Boris's well-defined abdomen. Boris doubled over in pain, gasping.
Boris: *Wheez* Mother f*cker! That hurt...
Siro and Reisemark sprung forward, each seizing one of Boris's arms.
Imran: You're now under arrest!
Boris: I mean, jesus Imran, that really hurt...
Imran: Shut up. Take him away, boys!
Siro: Take him where?
Imran: Oh...um...well, tie his hands and bring him with us, then.
Boris: Careful, I chaffe.
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Sirotnikov
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<--- Yes, It's a "kitty" in a boot.
Feb 2000
time: 07:20
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quote:
Originally posted by OzzyKP
Thats cause I stay away from Mid-East threads. |
Smart move
I would if I could.
quote:
And dispite my best efforts you OT folks never seem to acknowledge my presence. |
I do.
I noticed you around in the last few weeks.
Still, exactly because you never participate in such discussions as mid-east or ... infact any discussions which I seem to remember, I don't know what you stand for.
More importantly - i don't know your quircks and personality.
quote:
And I already wrote myself in, didn't you read my post about the Libertarian Hordes? |
You wrote suggestions, not actual plot.
EDIT: I was wrong. See next post.
quote:
I'm the Youth Rights, Metalhead, Libertarian, CNN Appearing fella. |
You appear on CNN?
Can I slip you with some Israeli propoganda 
quote:
Uhhh, I'll say it again, but my presence still won't be acknowledged. (keeping with the tradition of making the best out of double posts). The Civ2 Multiplayer guys know me at least.... I hope.... |
Hmm...
we should do that some day.
Last edited by Sirotnikov on 18-06-2002 at 09:15
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Sirotnikov
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<--- Yes, It's a "kitty" in a boot.
Feb 2000
time: 07:20
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Ozzy - ooooooooppps  I now remembered where you wrote yourself in. It was very funny too.
Imran: You know what, we should probably call Ozzy, David and Ramo.
Siro: Naaah.
Imran: But I promised.
Siro: Say you forgot.
Imran: They'll be disapponted.
Siro: Ah.
Imran: They'll get angry.
Siro: And what? Protect my rights to death?
Imran: No, they'll all begin replying to every post you make, arguing with you, talking about 'natural rights', 'natural situation' and all sorts of dumb things John Loke invented.
Siro: But I'm a hobbes fan.
Hobbes: Oooh, I got a line
Siro: No, I meant the rock group.
Hobbes: oh
Siro: Come on, silly, there's no such rock band. I meant the phisolopher, and this worked great as I managed to both continue the plot and give you a mention.
Hobbes: Thanks. But there really is such a band. www.band.com
Siro: Oh sh it, take cover.
MikeH: oooh, I have a band.
Imran: Now that's just spam.
reismark: go away.
MikeH: This thread is funnier if you only read the HTML code...
Siro: sure what ever.
Imran: Hey, look, there's Iain Lindley on BBC!
MikeH: Where?
Imran : (smack)
MikeH falls unconcious.
Imran: He should have known better.
Siro: Let's go on with the story then?
Imran: Ok. You were saying?
Siro: So I think we could stick with moral support from them.
Imran: But if they won't be on our side... We'd have to fight them too....
(to be continued)
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OzzyKP
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Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:20
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Boris: ah.. I'm safely away from those bozos. If only I had used my InvisiHomo while I was fighting Imran, I would have sliced that rightist bastard to pieces.
Boris walks along the coridor wondering how he will get out of these ropes. He realizes he has wandered back past the promotional booths.... oh no, too late!
Ozzy: Hey! Boris! You never got a chance to take the World's Smallest Political Quiz, you should take it now.
Boris: Well...uh...sure, I'll take it, except I'm kinda tied up at the moment, would you mind freeing my hands?
David: Why are your hands tied?
Boris: The uh... guards, I was just minding my own business, freely strolling down the aisle and this fascist jack-booted government thug demanded I show him ID. I refused to submit to their unjust authority and they arrested me. Thankfully I was able to escape.
Ramo: Those bastard fascist police. Here I'll untie you.
David: You sound like a Libertarian, you should take this short quiz to identify you politically.
Boris: Uhhh, sure.... Just keep an eye out for the guards, they were undercover too. One looked Israeli and the other Pakistani-American.
Ozzy to himself: he doesn't seem like a libertarian to me, he is a pinko, homosexual. This looks suspicious, I better call Imran and let him know....
(continue)
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OzzyKP
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Rockville, MD
Oct 1999
time: 00:20
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*Boris vanishes into thin air with another B-Movie shimer*
Ozzy, being the clever (and often self-centered) manipulator he is, decides at this moment that he must more forcefully interject himself into the storyline before certain Israelis cut him out.
Ozzy, in his deep urge to accomodate others, figures he should drop personality hints to others to compensate for his lack of notoriety among Apolyton OTers, so using his highly developed leadership skills and tendency to take over situations decides that Imran and the gang just aren't doing a stand up job with this mission of theirs and takes off in pursuit of Boris.
While Ozzy doesn't have the most accute hearing, he is a fast runner and he attempts to track down the invisable, fleeing Boris.
Because he is a quick thinker under pressure Ozzy grabbed the cell phone from the table before he left and now places a call to Imran to let him know he is in pursuit.
Being rather arrogant and mistrustful of others Ozzy also places a call to his secret cache of Youth Rights Knights and Liberty Commandos and instructs them to get to South Korea on the double. Clearly Imran and Siro aren't doing the job, and clearer minds need to take over.
Clearer minds don't translate to clearer ears, and Ozzy looses Boris in the shuffle.
(continue)
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rah
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Apolyton Prince of Moderators, Master of Reason
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Lord of the Ferrets
Jan 1970
time: 23:20
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Do you see them, Dolph?
Yes, it looks like they spotted DanQ, but they're not doing anything.
I don't care about DanQ, Dolph. How many times must I tell you, he's not the target. Give me those binocs.
Ok Vito, Who is the target. I tortured that cat on the plane, but she wouldn't say anything.
That's because cat's can't talk you idiot. No need for you to know now, RAH said to wait for the signal. Untill then we're just supposed to keep an eye on the three of them. Especially the one that keeps fading in and out and never seems to do anything, ML.
Where is RAH anyway?...........................................
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Apolyton Time is 00:20. |
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18-06-2002 05:55
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