24-07-2002 09:08									#91
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Freshman year my roommate decided to leave some low-light plant of his in direct sunlight. Its leaves got scorched so he cut off the burnt parts, about a third of each leaf, with scissors. It continued to do poorly, of course, and one day he decided that low-light plants really just want beer. The plant died. What were we talking about?

	24-07-2002 09:08									#92
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LOL@Wilderess
Now there's something that should bring the almighty Hydey out from wherever he's hiding if anything will.

	24-07-2002 09:09									#93
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quote: Originally posted by ravagon I'm thinking removing the dead bits (95%)would pretty much amount to your earlier suggestion about ditching it and getting another one at this stage.

It's worth a try. I've had similar problems with Maidenhair Ferns - leaves/fronds dying off - in the past. Removing the dead stuff has revitalised the plant. Of course, if yours has suffered terminal damage due to the roots drying out, then the cause is lost. It can't hurt to try, though. Just think how gratified you'll feel if it works. About as gratified as Horse feels now that Hydey has got in touch with his goat-leading and leather apron-wearing superiors and teed up today's rain.

quote: Wouldn't the dead matter still provide some sustenance if left where it is - My fern having canabilistic tendencies and all?

No.

	24-07-2002 09:11									#94
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There is no point asking Hydey about vegetable gardens or fruit trees.

	24-07-2002 09:13									#95
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse The Masons control the rain?

You didn't know? They rub a couple of goats together before flaying them with the leather aprons.

	24-07-2002 09:15									#96
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse I wonder what Hydey feeds his garden - probably chips.

I gather Mrs Hydey once sent him out for tan bark chips and he came back with ... you know what ...

	24-07-2002 09:17									#97
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse There is no point asking Hydey about vegetable gardens or fruit trees.

That's not strictly true. He knows all about growing them. It's the bit that comes after that that's foreign to him.

	24-07-2002 09:20									#98
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I only have one small patch of lawn. The front is a native garden with sprinkler system which does just fine as long as I remember to turn the sprinklers on for an hour every six months or so.

	24-07-2002 09:21									#99
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quote: Originally posted by Wilderess I love this thread. Dear Hydey the Garden Guru, I have tried to improve a potato plant (Solanum tuberosum) by breeding so that this cousin of a nightshade would produce chips, as my son who is a nerd who lives on chips and coke would get his chips. The problem is that my son likes bacon-flavoured chips, but I have only succeeded in producing onion-flavoured chips. This may be the result of onions growing in a near-by field. Now I have decided to move the potato field into the vicinity of a piggery. Do you think this would do the trick or should I plant slices of bacon down under with the potatoes? My hydrangea seems to suffer from clorosis. My friend says that I should give it the coffee grounds of my morning coffee. Do you think it would need bacon and eggs as well?

Thank God! Finally! Someone who isn't treating this thread with the contempt it deserves!

	24-07-2002 09:22									#100
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quote: Originally posted by kcsaff Freshman year my roommate decided to leave some low-light plant of his in direct sunlight. Its leaves got scorched so he cut off the burnt parts, about a third of each leaf, with scissors. It continued to do poorly, of course, and one day he decided that low-light plants really just want beer. The plant died. What were we talking about?

We're obviously talking about college jocks on football scholarships.

	24-07-2002 09:24									#101
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse a native garden

A euphemism beloved by inept and/or lazy gardeners Australia-wide.

	24-07-2002 09:29									#102
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I confess I got the idea of plant improvement from the old Finnish custom of putting Baltic herring (Clupea harengus membras) in the potato field between the rows. I think it is an ingenious way of making ready-made potato-herring-casserole, which is an old Finnish dish.

	24-07-2002 09:30									#103
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quote: Originally posted by finbar A euphemism beloved by inept and/or lazy gardeners Australia-wide.

Careful finbar - I saw what you did to that camelia bush.

	24-07-2002 09:37									#104
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Are there many plants that can stand being uprooted and replanted about 15 minutes later? Only there's all these plants in the Domain, they've far too many than they need...

	24-07-2002 09:52									#105
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Why take the plant when you can take the cutting? If you asked one of the gardeners at the domain or Centenial Park or the Botanical Gardens nicely I'm sure they would give you a few cuttings for your flat. It doesn't harm the plant.

You seem to keep forgetting you are now living in Australia and not anal retentive England.

	24-07-2002 10:13									#106
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quote: Originally posted by MOBIUS Are there many plants that can stand being uprooted and replanted about 15 minutes later? Only there's all these plants in the Domain, they've far too many than they need...

You do have to be careful about getting them through customs though - if you're planning to take them home with you - to which a certain rather careful Kiwi horticulturalist can attest (wrt a certain fireblight-infected Australian apple tree cutting... ).

	24-07-2002 10:15									#107
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Careful finbar - I saw what you did to that camelia bush.

Bush? You mean tree! And I'll kill the bastard if it kills me in the process. I aim, ever so gradually, to reduce it to a stump without Mrs finbar realising it. At which point, after I've convinced her that it's a common trait of camelias over a certain age to reduce themselves to a stump, she will agree to me removing the stump and using the area for vegetables.

Victory. At last.

	24-07-2002 10:18									#108
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I suppose it never occurred to you to clear some ground lower down your block and leave that beautiful camelia alone?

Oh and you seem to have forgotten spouses know what we type here.

	24-07-2002 10:22									#109
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quote: Originally posted by Wilderess I confess I got the idea of plant improvement from the old Finnish custom of putting Baltic herring (Clupea harengus membras) in the potato field between the rows. I think it is an ingenious way of making ready-made potato-herring-casserole, which is an old Finnish dish.

Old Finnish custom? Hydey was planting packets of Smiths Crisps underneath his 2-Stroke Fuel bush - so he could sniff and eat the crop - before Finland was even thought of.

	24-07-2002 10:26									#110
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse I suppose it never occurred to you to clear some ground lower down your block and leave that beautiful camelia alone?

The land drops away almost vertically behind that fence around the lawn. There's one flat spot and I've baggsed it for the lemon tree.

quote: Oh and you seem to have forgotten spouses know what we type here.

I'm well aware of the risk. I'm a thrillseeker.

	24-07-2002 10:28									#111
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quote: Originally posted by ravagon (wrt a certain fireblight-infected Australian apple tree cutting... ).

It was being imported by the NZRFU. Poor buggers can't take a trick, can they.

	24-07-2002 10:57									#112
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Of course in less snooty parts of Australia you could put a vegie patch in your front garden but in Cammeray the shame would probably be too much to bear, not to mention the letters from the Council and the coverage on the crime page of the local rag.

	24-07-2002 11:15									#113
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Of course in less snooty parts of Australia you could put a vegie patch in your front garden but in Cammeray the shame would probably be too much to bear, not to mention the letters from the Council and the coverage on the crime page of the local rag.

You haven't seen the front garden in daylight. It's basically rock with a couple of trees battling each other for the two or three teaspoonsful of soil. In actual fact, if the frigging school-age vandals don't stop scratching the cars and otherwise making pests of themselves we'll have to sacrifice what passes for a front yard in the cause of off-street parking.

	24-07-2002 11:28									#114
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I'll bet if you put vegies in there though the neighbours would never speak to you again and start writing to the Council.

This is why its better to rest in the bosom of the working class suburbs.

	24-07-2002 11:35									#115
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I supply a lot of the neighbours with vegies as it is. I suspect they'd help me dig out the rock and cart in the chook poo.

	24-07-2002 11:45									#116
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quote: Originally posted by finbar I supply a lot of the neighbours with vegies as it is. I suspect they'd help me dig out the rock and cart in the chook poo.

HA! Fell right into my trap. Now Mrs finbar will see this and there's goes a month of Sundays for you.

The camelia bush is avenged. Huzzah!

	24-07-2002 12:01									#117
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I'm not sure of the point of your "Huzzah!". If you mean the front yard is an alternative to the camelia tree - wrong. If you mean digging up the rock in the front yard will be some sort of punishment for murdering the camelia tree - no, because it won't happen.

Hmmmm?

BTW, I thought a Huzzah was a guy wearing a tea cosy on his head with a sword in his hand galloping around the countryside like a goose.

	24-07-2002 12:05									#118
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quote: Originally posted by finbar BTW, I thought a Huzzah was a guy wearing a tea cosy on his head with a sword in his hand galloping around the countryside like a goose.

Er no, that's a Hussah.

Huzzah!

But please leave the camelia bush, they are very pretty.

	24-07-2002 12:09									#119
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[Edit: Oh all right. Bah Humbug. Happy now? ]

Last edited by ravagon on 24-07-2002 at 12:19

	24-07-2002 12:11									#120
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Er no, that's a Hussah. Huzzah!

Mmm. Okay, so it's the American spelling then?

quote: But please leave the camelia bush, they are very pretty.

Listen, when vegies come in the window, aesthetics walk out the door.