24-07-2002 12:13									#121
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quote: Originally posted by ravagon Actually that would be a Hussar. But it would take someone really petty to point that out so I won't.

Bugger off, ravagon, you're stuffing up my gag in the post after yours! Please edit the post immediately!

	24-07-2002 12:16									#122
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Look I hang out with Americans online much more than you guys do so its a miracle I can still spell at all okay?

Btw, just saw Coldwizard's location - "Whenever you buy Poly merchandise I will kill a Macedonian."

	24-07-2002 12:20									#123
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He obviously saves his wit for here and not your forum.

You realise Hydey's going to get home tonight, notice his thread has quadrupled in size, and expect a plethora of challenging questions? Only to discover it's ravagon's bloody fern and a Finnish Benny Hill?

	24-07-2002 12:24									#124
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Hydey schmydey, my mum knows more about gardeing than he does.

I just checked my forum and its now got 40 Members - should take off any time soon

	24-07-2002 13:59									#125
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse I just checked my forum and its now got 40 Members - should take off any time soon

Yeah, your forum's sort of a Penny Dreadful of the internet forums, isn't it? A cheap investment in hope?

	24-07-2002 14:22									#126
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quote: Originally posted by finbar He obviously saves his wit for here and not your forum. You realise Hydey's going to get home tonight, notice his thread has quadrupled in size, and expect a plethora of challenging questions? Only to discover it's ravagon's bloody fern and a Finnish Benny Hill?

What? My questions are the paragon of a challenging question if there ever was one! And it's Bertha, my dear finbar, Bertha!

	24-07-2002 15:24									#127
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Bertha Hill? Or Calloway's Big Bertha? The golf club?

	24-07-2002 15:31									#128
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I enjoy enormously these hilarious fun threads, but every time I climb over the mountain high threshold to participate in English, I finally end up with a joke or a pun I don't understand.

Bertha Chippie Hill - the jazz singer, but the other?

And since I now entered the Serious Rant Mode, I solemnly declare that I agree with the Chinese proverb: gardening is the only important thing there is, and even gardening is not so very important.

Last edited by Wilderess on 24-07-2002 at 15:39

	24-07-2002 16:25									#129
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quote: Originally posted by ravagon On-topic: Is there any way to resurrect a fern from the dead? I left it on the balcony in full sunlight for a couple of weeks. In my defense it didn't come with an instruction manual.

Give it plenty of water and put it in a semi shaded location, don't cut the dead leaves off until new ones begin to appear.

	24-07-2002 16:28									#130
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Its more the case that long periods of neglect followed by short bursts of intensive care is my gardening style. Even my Photinia Robusta are not robusta - probably because I haven't watered them since I put them in 2 years ago. I'll have to do something about that soon.......

Forget the water, give them some sun

stupid ****** think sun shines through fences

	24-07-2002 16:30									#131
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Its raining here today, which will take the brown tinge off my lawn and I didn't have to do a damn thing

The rain will leach whatever nitrogen was left in your poor lawn,

I can hear your lawn screaming from here "feed me , feed me"

	24-07-2002 16:31									#132
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quote: Originally posted by Hydey Give it plenty of water and put it in a semi shaded location, don't cut the dead leaves off until new ones begin to appear.

Jeez Hydey we told him that 2 pages ago

	24-07-2002 16:32									#133
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse The Masons control the rain?

At least the masons exist!

unlike your bloody God

No I am not a mason before anyone asks

	24-07-2002 16:36									#134
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quote: Originally posted by Wilderess I love this thread. Dear Hydey the Garden Guru, I have tried to improve a potato plant (Solanum tuberosum) by breeding so that this cousin of a nightshade would produce chips, as my son who is a nerd who lives on chips and coke would get his chips. The problem is that my son likes bacon-flavoured chips, but I have only succeeded in producing onion-flavoured chips. This may be the result of onions growing in a near-by field. Now I have decided to move the potato field into the vicinity of a piggery. Do you think this would do the trick or should I plant slices of bacon down under with the potatoes? My hydrangea seems to suffer from clorosis. My friend says that I should give it the coffee grounds of my morning coffee. Do you think it would need bacon and eggs as well?

I hate this thread.

Remove the soil away from some of the tubers (potatoes) and allow them to turn green , once they are nice and green take a big bite of one .

RESULT = No more dumb questions from you.


Kiddies , don't try this at home

	24-07-2002 16:41									#135
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I love white clover, and I never cut the lawn (cut? why not mowe, as in lawnmower?) before white clover has flowered. The grass grows quite long, but the clover flowers are so nice, plus the grass grows in both ends, above the earth as well as down under. So the roots get longer, and simsalabim! after that the grass tolerates drought much better even when you cut it short again.

And another thing: IIRC, clover develops nitrogen in soil. Ecological fertilizing, that is!

	24-07-2002 16:41									#136
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quote: Originally posted by ravagon Wouldn't the dead matter still provide some sustenance if left where it is - My fern having canabilistic tendencies and all?

leave the dead leaves until you see some new growth , it helps the plant get over the stress but if its too late and you have already followed finbars bad advice , don't panic , the plant should still recover it will just take a little longer.

	24-07-2002 16:44									#137
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quote: Originally posted by finbar I gather Mrs Hydey once sent him out for tan bark chips and he came back with ... you know what ...

euca mulch as tan bark leaches poisons into the soil.

	24-07-2002 16:50									#138
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quote: Originally posted by MOBIUS Are there many plants that can stand being uprooted and replanted about 15 minutes later? Only there's all these plants in the Domain, they've far too many than they need...

Most plants can withstand this type of treatment, if they die steal some more.

	24-07-2002 16:52									#139
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse But please leave the camelia bush, they are very pretty.

Iwas but now finbar is a butcher

	24-07-2002 16:57									#140
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse Hydey schmydey, my mum knows more about gardeing than he does.

Good she can answer all these idiot questions

	24-07-2002 17:01									#141
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quote: Originally posted by Wilderess I love white clover, and I never cut the lawn (cut? why not mowe, as in lawnmower?) before white clover has flowered. The grass grows quite long, but the clover flowers are so nice, plus the grass grows in both ends, above the earth as well as down under. So the roots get longer, and simsalabim! after that the grass tolerates drought much better even when you cut it short again. And another thing: IIRC, clover develops nitrogen in soil. Ecological fertilizing, that is!

Very good, that is good for you lawn, now if can teach Horse how to mow instead of butcher his lawn. never mind he is too thick

	24-07-2002 17:28									#142
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How embarrassing. There is a verb to mow. How stupid of me. I looked it up in a dictionary, I swear I did, but I wrote mowe. Sigh.

Here you see the blessings of a book: if I had used a book instead of a web dictionary, I would have found it.

	24-07-2002 17:39									#143
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Look Wilderess, finbar is the spelling and grammer expert, please keep comments regarding these subjects off my gardening thread.

We don't want this thread full of spam.

	24-07-2002 17:46									#144
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(It is slowly dawning on me why this thread has a title 'Your problems solved with a smile'. I still love this thread. )

	24-07-2002 17:53									#145
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No smile here. I have to put up with idiot gardening questions allday and now bloody finbar wants me to do it online.

	24-07-2002 18:13									#146
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I'm beginning to wonder what value Hydey actually adds to this thread

	24-07-2002 18:17									#147
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You have to put up with idiot gardening questions all day...? You a gardener?

	25-07-2002 03:33									#148
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quote: Originally posted by Alexander's Horse I'm beginning to wonder what value Hydey actually adds to this thread

Twice as much as you, now lets see 2 times zero =

	25-07-2002 03:37									#149
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quote: Originally posted by Wilderess You have to put up with idiot gardening questions all day...? You a gardener?

I'm not quite sure , let me check my profile, yes for occupation it says Gardener.

Hydey looks out the window and sees the frost is off the grass now, best head out to work.

	25-07-2002 04:07									#150
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OK...I have a common houseplant (don't know the variety, but it has thin stalks and long, tapered, dark green leaves).
This plant is a *****. If it gets too hot, it wilts. If it doesn't get enough light, it wilts. If it gets too much or too little water, it wilts...you get the picture. I have moved it away from the window, on a bookshelf, where it is a few feet from a heat register. I'm assuming that this combination of low light and heat when it is cold has been the cause of its current happiness.
But upon returning from Vegas, it is a wilted mess, probably due to too much heat while we were gone.
I have a strange attachment to this co-dependant plant, but I wonder if there is any way to "beef it up" and get it to stop being so neurotic.
I swear, it is as sensitive as a woman...and it actually had white callilily like blooms at one point, but not since.

How do I encourage this plant to thrive without being so needy!!!!?