26-09-2002 09:27									#61
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger Think about it the opposite way: who wants to date the girl who sleeps with anybody who asks her to anyways?

It depends. Is she good looking?

	26-09-2002 09:29									#62
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quote: Originally posted by Ron Jeremy Question. Is the reason you aren't getting any because.... A- You are a nice guy and women prefer bastards? B- There's some other reason why they just don't fancy you. I think some posters on this thread are fooling themselves....

Yup, there are guys who can't get a date and instead of looking at what they're doing wrong, they blame women for their problems.

	26-09-2002 09:37									#63
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Most guys think they are "nice guys" when in fact they are a-holes or whimps. Confidence and not seeming desperate also help. As soon as I got a girlfriend, I became 500% more attractive to women.

You're right. The desperation bit is a big thing. If there is any hint that you're desperate for a date, it will drive women away in droves. They'll just think: this guy seems desperate, there must be something wrong with him otherwise.

When you have a girlfriend, you're no longer desperate so women are more attracted to you.

The problem is not looking like you're desperate when you desperately want a date. There's no easy answer. I've had times when every woman I ask out says yes, and times when I strike out everytime. The dry spells eventually end, but I really can't say why things change.

Somehow, you have to look for a woman, while giving off the impression that you're not looking for a woman.

	26-09-2002 09:46									#64
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quote: Originally posted by orange I was told...and I'm nearly quoting this... "You're just too nice. You never screw up. I feel so inferior because I'm always doing something that really hurts you, and you never hurt me. I think I need to be treated really really badly before I can learn to appreciate you and not take you for granted, and if I don't, i'll just keep on hurting you"

In otherwords, you're a doormat. Women tend not to like whimps.

	26-09-2002 09:50									#65
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara In otherwords, you're a doormat. Women tend not to like whimps.

Yep. They love them as friends but nothing more, it seems.

I was like that in high school, just because I had to see the same people day in and day out I never did anything to piss them off unless I really had to.

And now I'm honest with all my friends.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"
"Like a blimp."
It's amazing how many women actually like hearing the truth from a guy sometimes. On the other hand, it also means they call you lots with lots of trivial stuff. Which is why you tell them stuff like "For **** sake, you were dating him for only a couple weeks, get over it". Stick up for yourself and your needs sometimes.

I don't know if this was the cause, but ever since I started doing that stuff (last year, start of university) some girls I've had as friends have been very flirtatious on many occasions.

	26-09-2002 09:57									#66
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Yeah, but everyone is soooooo boring. I mean seriously, have you listened to people talk? I don't know how people can talk for hours at a time. It's probably because I have an odd combination of interests and so I have a more limited scope of things to talk about with people, but I mean c'mon! Why can't people tlak about cartoons, football, or something - or even some lame ass subject, but do it intelligently! I don't want to hear - the Bengals suck, I already know that, I want to know why you think so, and noone gives a decent conversation, I feel like I'm always coming up with questions so that I can talk to people longer than 5 minutes.

	26-09-2002 10:13									#67
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You need to be a nice guy with a backbone. You can't be a doormat: a doormat indicates you have no character and low self confidence. If you cannot stand up for yourself how could a woman expect you to stand up for her when the time comes?

	26-09-2002 10:15									#68
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quote: In otherwords, you're a doormat. Women tend not to like whimps.

Yup. You're absolutely right. That's exactly what I was...a doormat.

	26-09-2002 10:18									#69
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quote: You need to be a nice guy with a backbone. You can't be a doormat: a doormat indicates you have no character and low self confidence.

I've made that change, and have been playing the 'i don't want a relationship' or 'i'm not interested' card with just enough 'well maybe I am' around for the girls to stay interested (I think I have 3 right now ), but my confidence level definitely took a boost since the summer, when I realized that there actually WERE people waiting out our relationship

It feels good to be somewhat wanted

It was tough to make that switch though, away from doormat...it wasn't that I wanted to be one, it was that I wanted to be an understanding and forgiving boyfriend with certain things...and I guess I just didn't realize how it made me look - a push over.

	26-09-2002 10:23									#70
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I don't mean to be harsh, Orange, but that speech she gave you was a classic brushoff.

Confidence, respect, and showing some passion are the ways to a person's heart, man or woman.

If push comes to shove, here's what you do. Go to a party where you don't know anyone. Walk around from woman to woman asking her if she wants to have sex. At least one of them will. It's a trick I learned about in my waitering days. When you can actually get into clubs, this will work better. It's probably a good idea to wait until they're smashed. And always, always, always, remember, no means no and if she passes out, she can't give consent.

	26-09-2002 10:25									#71
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So dirty. So very dirty...

	26-09-2002 10:26									#72
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quote: It's probably a good idea to wait until they're smashed.

It's probably also a good idea to wait until you're smashed. Then this will seem like a better idea.

	26-09-2002 10:26									#73
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you're not being harsh, Che...but I did have both respect and passion in that relationship...and at times confidence...but I was a little too forgiving...

but trust me...for a few months now she's wanted to get back together. But my new found confidence/non-doormattishness has helped me to say "BLOW OFF"

So I don't think it was really a 'classic brushoff'...i mean it was a 3 year relationship we're talking about...

The party scene isn't my thing, and I don't just have sex with strange women. It's not me...it's not how I operate.

	26-09-2002 10:28									#74
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger quote: It's probably a good idea to wait until they're smashed. It's probably also a good idea to wait until you're smashed. Then this will seem like a better idea.

I don't drink

	26-09-2002 10:30									#75
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Just get in the habit of telling malicious people to **** off--be honest with them. You won't be acting like a jerk (since you're not the transgressor), but people will also realize that you've got a backbone.

F'rinstance, when that one chick said "You're just too nice, blah blah, i'll just keep on hurting you", what did you say in response? Anything ranging from "Are you a sado-masochist or something?" to "**** you too" would have been an appropriate response, in my book. Anything more might be crossing the line, but anything less and you look like you haven't got a backbone.

	26-09-2002 10:30									#76
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Dude, you're young. You should be sowing your wild oats while you still have the energy (remember to wear your condoms). One of the very cruel ironies of nature is that men reach their sexual peak at 17, while women reach theirs at 35. This means as you're slowing down, she's gonna want more and more. Nature is a cruel *****.

Also, you should be honing (boning? ) your technique on people who don't matter, so that you can really impress the women with whom you want to have relationships.

	26-09-2002 10:30									#77
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quote: I don't drink

That's one of your problems.

	26-09-2002 10:30									#78
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do you like getting treated like crap?

	26-09-2002 10:35									#79
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Don't you?

	26-09-2002 10:35									#80
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Loin - you're right...i'm learning that I guess I was just content being the nice guy that lots of girls were friends with, as long as the one I was with really loved me (like I thought she did)

Che - eh, i don't really think of it that way...to me sex means something...it's not just something you do for fun. That's how I was brought up and that's how I think.

Btw: it's 19 for men. And I like older women

Frogger - meh, that's your opinion.

dm - not anymore

	26-09-2002 10:35									#81
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I think all this talk of women wanting to be treated like crap is largely based in myth. Perhaps I just have always just been so insanely, overwhelmingly nice that I somehow overcame this tendency, but I have never encountered this phenomonon in all my years in various dating circles. Nice guys always win in the end, i say.

	26-09-2002 10:37									#82
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Not drinking isn't a problem, it's actually a good thing. Being a straight edge is "cool" in some circles, at least here.

It shows lots of responsibility, which is something a lot of more mature girls look for.

	26-09-2002 10:39									#83
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and that's the type of girl I go for

i've actually never smoked, done drugs, or drank...not once...

I don't care if other people do, just don't do it myself

	26-09-2002 10:41									#84
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quote: Originally posted by orange Che - eh, i don't really think of it that way...to me sex means something...it's not just something you do for fun. That's how I was brought up and that's how I think.

What the hell's wrong with you people? A good **** is great way to pass the time, entertain yourself and a friend or new aquaintence, etc. Besides, when you finally meet that special someone, and you lie down beside her and proceed to demonstrate you have eleven thumbs, will she think she wants to repeat the process?

	26-09-2002 10:42									#85
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Way to be Orange. I find all these so-called "party girls" to be terribly boring and cliche anyway. They are certainly not prone to interesting conversation (unless you find anecdotes of wild times at the recent frat party or getting their belly button pierced interesting). Straight-edge girlies =

	26-09-2002 10:43									#86
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Besides, when you finally meet that special someone, and you lie down beside her and proceed to demonstrate you have eleven thumbs, will she think she wants to repeat the process?

Exactly. Get the awkward part out of the way before you meet somebody who might make you live it down for the rest of your life.

	26-09-2002 10:43									#87
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quote: Originally posted by orange and that's the type of girl I go for i've actually never smoked, done drugs, or drank...not once... I don't care if other people do, just don't do it myself

Good attitude to have, I think it'll pay off more for you as you get a bit older as more girls come to their senses.

	26-09-2002 10:47									#88
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Gah. You people are nice to talk to and all, but given the choice I'd rather hang out with loin, chegitz et al. They know how to have fun...

It's like you folks are looking to be 45 at 20...

	26-09-2002 10:48									#89
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quote: Originally posted by loinburger Exactly. Get the awkward part out of the way before you meet somebody who might make you live it down for the rest of your life.

Blech. My first time is too horrendous to recall. the good news is that I improved rapidly (at least judging from response curve)...

	26-09-2002 10:49									#90
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger Gah. You people are nice to talk to and all, but given the choice I'd rather hang out with loin, chegitz et al. They know how to have fun... It's like you folks are looking to be 45 at 20...

I never said I was a straight edge. I just know people who are, and I love hanging out with them too. Designated drivers! Wooo.