 |
| |
|
| |
|
|
Asher
|
 |
Calgary, Alberta
Nov 1999
time: 22:22
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by monkspider
Hey Ashie, I don't mean to threadjack, but I have always had a question for you, and this thread seems like as an approiate time as any to ask it.
As a bisexual, do you have any preference towards guys or girls? Is it maybe 75/25 in favor of guys, 60/40 in favor of girls, etc.
Or is it always a 50/50 equal attraction to both sexes? |
It's never been 50/50 as long as I can remember. I know it probably sounds like a cop-out but it depends on a lot of things. Sometimes it's 75/25 in favor of guys, sometimes it's 75/25 in favor of girls. There's always a definite attraction to both, so relationships are not a problem, it's just that when it's lopsided you're more likely to notice one gender over the other in the room, but you do eventually notice both. 
Edit: One of the weirdest things that I've found that affects which way I lean is when antidepressants are taken, it usually makes me lean more towards girls. Maybe the chemicals up in there are somehow related.
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
|
Sikander
|
 |
Boulder, Colorado, United Snakes of America
Jan 2000
time: 22:22
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Sirotnikov
Can't you post the guidelines , at least? |
Well, the really funny part was that he researched the girl that he was stalking. She was a semi-prudish American scientist, so he dressed up like Fabio (I'm not sure that's right, but the guy that was on romance novel covers) with a shoulder length wig and a peasant type white shirt. He placed himself on a rock in an area where she couldn't possibly not notice him. He pretended to be sketching in a book, and he also pretended to not be at all aware of her. He also adopted a fake european accent.
The point was that he dressed up like her fantasy and then played it coyly. Like a fisherman, he relied on his bait and didn't dive into the pond trying to catch the fish with his hands. Once he was sure that she had noticed him he set the hook by trying to appear complicated, sad and misunderstood. This invoked her nurturing instincts, and that was it.
To boil down the basic guidelines, you need to:
1) Be confident that you have something that the other person wants.
2) Actually have something that the other person wants rather than just deluding yourself. This will do wonders for #1 above. Then get her attention, preferably in a way that is positive by demonstrating one of the desirable qualities that you possess.
3) Don't appear desperate by being overly anxious, aggressive or too willing to please. Apart from being a turn-off, you can do any future relationship a good deal of harm by setting a standard that you are not willing to live with in the long run. Once you have established #1 and #2 above you are actually more likely to gain more ground by pulling back a bit than by rushing forward. Just remember that this is a dance though, and if you want to touch her you cannot always be pulling back, there will be times where you must move toward her as well.
4) Be yourself (Val Kilmer was trying to con his woman, not be with her in the long run) so that you don't fall into the trap of getting someone's attention only to blow it later on. If she likes you then you will know that it's real, and after that the pheremones take over.
5) Have some idea what you want from this girl, and be honest about it. This assumes that what you want is not some sort of repugnantly wierd sex with a girl who will never be into that sort of thing, so do your homework on the girl. In all other cases, whether she wants what you want or not, your honesty will be appreciated. You'll save some time by weeding out people who aren't going to give you what you want, and in the long run you may find (I have anyway) that some of these people will look you up when they do want what you want. This is how I hooked up with my current girlfriend. We dated once about 6 years ago, and nothing came of it. About a year later she came back around, and we've been together since then.
6) If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. Dating / courting can be dull and laborious as well as fun and glorious. Try to have fun as much as possible, besides being good general advice it will make you a lot more attractive. Be flexible. If your romantic aspirations seem to be thwarted, try to make the most out of the evening by taking things in another direction. I have resurrected dates that seemed disasterous at dinner by taking a chance and suggesting another tack entirely, like dancing or going to an arcade, or to see some live music. Sometimes it turned out that every thing about the person that was likely to make me dislike them came up early on, and by changing the venue their more desirable qualities had a chance to shine. This was also true in the other direction, ie sometimes my less desirable traits (in her eyes) were on display. Usually your first impression is more or less correct however, but why not suggest doing something that you enjoy anyway?
|
|
| |
|
|
|
MrWhereItsAt
|
 |
New Year's Resolution: 2005 is the year of Where It's At - come get some.
Nov 2001
time: 17:22
|
|
This thread has gone off the rails a tad somewhere.... But I can go with that. 
OK then, let me throw something slightly new into the mix. Trying to start your first relationship. Not first sex, first something-that-was-more-than-the-almost-purely-physical. For the group of people I know and meet, who almost exclusively have had at least one relationship of no less than 6 months duration , my lack of such experience has handicapped me in one promising start so far. So if you miss out early on, you miss out later too. Everyone else has learned that much and moved on, you haven't.
What can you do? Try of course. But when you try and fail, and try and fail, it's kinda hard to stay motivated, easy to get upset and difficult to think of any other way to go about it.
So... thoughts, advice, spam?
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Urban Ranger
|
|
Apolyton Duke of Off-Topic
|
|
Don't try too hard. When a woman is interested in you, she'll let you know. Before than, just be yourself. Or rather, be a nice person with backbone.
The first and foremost question is, do you love yourself? If you don't, why should somebody else do? [Except your mom, of course]. So if you don't love yourself, there is no point in trying.
Second question to ask is, are you self-confident? If you aren't, you need to develop some confidence in yourself. How you ask. Achievements. The best way I found is becoming a volunteer to help out others. You will become confident quickly.
The third thing to consider is, so what if you aren't in one, or that you never had one before? You need to enjoy life by yourself. This is part of self-confidence really but worth stressing.
You are looking for somebody to share your live with. If you don't have anything to share, how do you expect finding somebody?
|
|
| |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:22.
Apolyton Time is 00:22. |
top of page
|
| archivepost |
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
26-09-2002 11:11
Good one Ashie. 
|