06-12-2002 12:56									#1
	How to avoid the Draft Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

With the amount of concern seen here over the draft, and the potential of war with Iraq, I thought this might be useful. David Floyd, I hope you are planning on printing this out:

http://www.lostbrain.com/opinion/draft.html

quote: Ten Ways Not To Feel the Draft With Congress telling Bush he can now have reason for those G. I. Joe bedsheets, we thought it was a good idea to review the best ways to be a cowardly bastard and not have to fight against our enemies—whoever they are this week: Be White – Can’t stress this enough. It’s quick, it’s easy and it works. If Vietnam taught us one thing it’s that white people only serve as narrators in Oliver Stone movies. Do Ask, Do Tell – Remember, "homo" means home-free. We suggest thinking about Anna Nicole Smith during your military physical, you know, before she was vomit-inducing. When it comes to military exemptions, your woody is as good as a wooden leg. Flatter Yourself – Flat feet are a must this fashion season. If your feet have an arch, don’t worry, think rock hammer and take it one little piggy at a time. Call Everyone 'Comrade' – The Communist thing is still a little touchy around the good ‘Ol US of A so it should keep you artillery-free. Try words like "Glasnost" and "Perestroika" on for size. Ask where Yakov Smirnoff is. And bang your shoe on a table when you're excited. We know you want to. Have a Vagina – Being a woman seems to be a great way to get out of active duty. We’d tell you how to become one, but they’re as much a mystery to us as the appeal of "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter". Join Al Qaeda – It sure seemed like an extreme measure, but John Lindh won’t be drafted. Of course he will also get raped so many times in prison that it will be more accurate to call his ******* a "holeass." Can You Say Canada? – We know hockey isn’t exactly your dish but neither is shrapnel where your nipple ring used to be. Just remember Chesterfield is something you sit on and not something you smoke, ya' hoser. Go Nuts – You know how you used to be known as the crazy guy at parties who had the lampshade on his head? Eat the lampshade this time. Yes, a straightjacket might seem uncomfortable, but a zipped up bodybag is downright suffocating. Love The Learnin' - Remember when you thought that Master's Film Degree was impractical? College exemptions are the perfect gift to give yourself this Holiday Fighting Season. Hey, you can either watch "The Thin Red Line" or live it. Actually, that flick might make you choose the combat thing. Be Rich – Okay, "Be White" kind of covered this.

	06-12-2002 12:57									#2
	Increase Your PM Length

uuuhhh we don't have a draft

	06-12-2002 13:09									#3
	Remove this text

being blue collar and the everyday joe, i think if the draft were put in place id be sending you all post cards from iraq...

unless my back suddenly gives out, which im praying for if the draft is reinstituted, and is likely considering i am blue collar and an everyday joe

	06-12-2002 13:13									#4
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

that's why I joined the military in peace time.

Actually I didn't. I joined during Desert Shield right before Desert Storm.

but either way I'm not eligible for for a regular draft. Maybe if they expand it.

	06-12-2002 13:18									#5
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Neither the US or UK will need to draft, there will be ample troops even if there is a ground war. I'm sure you're advise will be very helpful in the unlikely circumstance.
Cheers
Matt

	06-12-2002 16:37									#6
	Suffering from ads?

Why awoid the draft???

	06-12-2002 16:54									#7
	Put an end to popups!

Do you know what it is?

	06-12-2002 16:56									#8
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Good question, UR

	06-12-2002 16:57									#9
	Suffering from ads?

If the UK instituted a draft for war on Iraq then the government would be facing a national revolt.

	06-12-2002 17:26									#10
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Absolutely. Although if it was a good old fashioned war against France or Germany they'd have Daily Mail readers queuing in the streets to volunteer.

Strange isn't it?

	06-12-2002 22:04									#11
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote: Originally posted by Viking Berserk Why awoid the draft???

See the picture.

	06-12-2002 22:09									#12
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

I wish I knew how to avoid the draft. It's damn cold here right now.

	06-12-2002 22:10									#13
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

Ahhh, one of the benefits of being a middle-class white homo...

	06-12-2002 22:14									#14
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Other ways (from the glorius days of Vietnam):

My older brother's college roommate was a little Japanese-American from Hawaii. When he got his draft notice, my brother put him on a starvation diet and made him do horrendous exercises, like having his wrists tied to the back of a car which then drove away. Run or die. Result: He weighed in below the acceptable minimum.

A friend of mine stayed awake for four days and three nights before his medical exam. Took a lot of uppers. His blood pressure was way over the limit.

(Kids, don't try these tricks at home. They could kill you.)

Go to college and get a student deferment. Exception: Do not go to medical school--the army always needs medics.

	06-12-2002 22:17									#15
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Being a commie doesn't keep you from getting drafted. It gets you combat duty, usually especially hazardous combat duty.

	06-12-2002 22:20									#16
	Increase the size of your Attachments

So even if you are banging your shoe against the draft boards desk and saying how you hope to join the military so you can encourage your unit to revolt and how you think the United States is evil they still make you serve?

	06-12-2002 22:22									#17
	Tired of ads?

quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi So even if you are banging your shoe against the draft boards desk and saying how you hope to join the military so you can encourage your unit to revolt and how you think the United States is evil they still make you serve?

Probably in a unit clearing minefields.

	06-12-2002 22:23									#18
	Support Apolyton

I think the name of the organization is the Draft Resistors League, or some such thing. I worked with them back in the first Gulf War, to give counseling to reservists who didn't want to go. I asked them about the saying you're a commie, and was told that historically it doesn't get you out, it gets you put someplace you are likely to be killed, presumably by other commies. The Army has a sense of humor after all, it seems.

	06-12-2002 22:24									#19
	Increase Your PM Length

Why would the US need to have a draft for a war with a weak nation like Iraq? It makes no sense.

	06-12-2002 22:25									#20
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

The occupation of large swaths of the Middle East might require one.

	06-12-2002 22:25									#21
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

As much sense as bullying our way into a war with a weak nation like Iraq in the first place.

	06-12-2002 22:25									#22
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

quote: Originally posted by DinoDoc Probably in a unit clearing minefields.

...with a pogo stick.

	06-12-2002 22:26									#23
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

The Army doesn't want a draft anyway, Fez. Draftees make for poor soldiers.

	06-12-2002 22:26									#24
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

quote: Originally posted by Zkribbler ...with a pogo stick.

Would they be that obvious about it?

	06-12-2002 22:30									#25
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara I think the name of the organization is the Draft Resistors League, or some such thing. I worked with them back in the first Gulf War, to give counseling to reservists who didn't want to go. I asked them about the saying you're a commie, and was told that historically it doesn't get you out, it gets you put someplace you are likely to be killed, presumably by other commies. The Army has a sense of humor after all, it seems.

Crap. Well in that case I'd guess the method of last resort for getting out of the draft is coming into the draft board wearing a tight white shirt singing "I will survive"

	06-12-2002 22:32									#26
	Increase Your PM Length

They might ask you to prove it.

	06-12-2002 22:33									#27
	Remove this text

quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov As much sense as bullying our way into a war with a weak nation like Iraq in the first place.

Well Iraq may not be a weak nation for much longer because they will have nukes. Of course liberals want Iraq to have nukes to further their political agenda.

And anyways, Dinodoc is right. In Spain we had the draft, and the army wasn't in good shape that way. We now have a voluntary more professional force.

	06-12-2002 22:37									#28
	Remove this text

And yet your army is still ****...

	06-12-2002 22:40									#29
	Support Apolyton

quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara They might ask you to prove it.

Hmm...... Maybe I could get the Apolyton gays to tutor me on interior decorating and then offer to do a fabulous job decorating the Draft Board's building with stuff from Ikea?