18-10-2003 21:11									#1
	What to do about my girl's overprotective mother? Full PM-box? Change here!

Well I went to a mall with my girlfriend and did that usual thing that a guy gets irked by but knows he got to do: window-shopping with his girl... except in every aisle of every store

anyway, she then called her mother to pick her up and they never made a set place for them to meet. Her mother thought she would be at a different entrance and after looking there, went to other entrances and found her with me.

apparently, my girl never told her mother about me and when she had previous boyfriends and hinted at relationships with them, her mother would give a flat out no, you're not dating my daughter.

my girl told her mother there that she had just ran into me coincidentally about five minutes ago and she knew me from work.

her mother went crazy... you know what i'm talking about when they start stopping strangers telling them what her daughter said and then saying, "They just saw each other five minutes ago! And she's at the wrong door! Do you believe that? Do you believe that?"

on and on... one stranger said that my girl seemed real nice and more moral than most girls and that i also seemed respectful and all that. my girl's mother agreed and calmed down and what not and then they left.

now of course i understand where her mother is coming from with this but i also know that if there's one straight guy on earth who she can trust with her daughter it's me. How can I get this woman's approval to be with her daughter?


thank you

	18-10-2003 21:17									#2
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You'll never get her approval. You're just going to have to put a cap in that *****es' ass.

	18-10-2003 21:17									#3
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Break yo foot off in her ass!

	18-10-2003 21:22									#4
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Did you two join a triad or something?

	18-10-2003 21:36									#5
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You're lucky to get some stranger to stick up for you. If some crazy woman started ranting at me I'd just get the hell out of there.

Maybe your girl shouldnt have lied to her? Trust is 2 ways and all.

But if the mum has freaked in the past, its fair enough.

	18-10-2003 21:43									#6
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my staying there helped corroborate my girl's story as her mother said that if i was still there and hadnt run away, i must have nothing to hide.

anyway like i said i understand where she's coming from. she don't want her daughter being sexually active and getting pregnant or nothing like that. i just got to prove to her i'm better than 99% of men. I was hinting at it when she was questioning me (in a mannerful way i was saying how I didnt believe in that kind of stuff, i'm a college student, and that i'm a registered republican) but she was still suspicious. to complicate matters, my girl lied about our relationship.

	18-10-2003 22:08									#7
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quote: Originally posted by Albert Speer and that i'm a registered republican

	18-10-2003 22:25									#8
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I don't think you can do anything about it.. except be on your best behaviour at all times when she's around, so time will make it better. She just needs to get to know you I guess... though she sounds like she's over reacting from what you said, so I don't know.

	18-10-2003 22:30									#9
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quote: her mother went crazy... you know what i'm talking about when they start stopping strangers

You may be suprised to know that this has never happened to 99% of people. Either we're not so scary-looking that a girl's mother freaks out whenever they see us or we don't date people with such abusrdly conservative views that being seen holding hands in public is a scandalous event. Do you live in Afghanistan or something?

	18-10-2003 22:33									#10
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You could try to convince your gf to arrange some kind of a meeting, you know eat in her home or something like that.. and then try to impress the mother, but not too much because it shows if you try too hard and that's kind of a turn off for many people. For example in my more serious relationship (means it lasted more than 2 weeks, less than 2 months) I offered to change the tires to the car of the family, but the man of the house was so skeptic about me clearly, he wanted to watch me do it and that I'd do it correctly. So I changed the tires, big deal.. but he saw me do it and we had a good talk too, about cars mostly but it was good talk anyway. So they didn't object me sleeping at their house after that. Before that she said I couldn't stay, but after that I could, so I guess I did something right. Though it turned out that the dad was a complete drunk, woke me up in the middle of the night to offer me beer and made us some stakes (yeah, in the middle of the night, I WAS sleeping), but after I was drunk too it was pretty smooth . My point is, try to sneak in some way and do something for them to show you are not a jackass and that you can actually do something and then you get to talk too. If they don't help you out or talk to you, they'll still appreciate your efforts. They don't like you when they really say NO you can't do it.

	18-10-2003 22:43									#11
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quote: Do you live in Afghanistan or something?

no. I live in Philadelphia...

quote: we don't date people with such abusrdly conservative views that being seen holding hands in public is a scandalous event.

My girl was quite worried that us sitting next to each other on a bench would make her mother angry so she got up and stayed some feet away from me.

as for that ****, Pekka... i dont know. it seems like too much. maybe chaperoned dates will work (an 18 and a 17 year old being chaperoned by a grandmother...) as that was what her mother said she would approve of.


thanks

	18-10-2003 22:45									#12
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quote: Originally posted by Albert Speer and that i'm a registered republican

they can't get women pregnant? That must be some initiation ceremony!

	18-10-2003 22:50									#13
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are the midterms hard?

	18-10-2003 22:51									#14
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Uhh,, that would be very uncomfortable . Being chaperoned that is. I really don't know what your options are, I guess I just wouldn't do anything about it.
That's too much IMO, you guys are old enough to NOT be chaperoned even if someone is overprotective. Too bad, I hope she comes around.

	18-10-2003 22:54									#15
	Re: What to do about my girl's overprotective mother? Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: Originally posted by Albert Speer How can I get this woman's approval to be with her daughter?

Trust can only be earned, and the only way you can earn trust is through your actions.

	18-10-2003 22:55									#16
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@story.

Speer, take it slowly and easily with the mother. It will take a lot of patience with this sort of mother, to get on her good side, and all. Maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't even try that.

	18-10-2003 23:25									#17
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I still think that moms needs to die, but whatever.

	18-10-2003 23:36									#18
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She may have a shotgun or an impressive collection of butcher knives, so probably your best bet is to very politely say "Yes, ma'am" or "No, ma'am" whichever is appropriate, whenever you are asked anything.

Otherwise, just be an obediant, compliant, future son-in-law.

	18-10-2003 23:42									#19
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quote: it seems like too much. maybe chaperoned dates will work (an 18 and a 17 year old being chaperoned by a grandmother...) as that was what her mother said she would approve of.

For the first while, perhaps, but later on she might trust you more if you did this.

Still, that's pretty conservative.

	18-10-2003 23:45									#20
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quote: Originally posted by DaShi Break yo foot off in her ass!

	18-10-2003 23:47									#21
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quote: Originally posted by Ben Kenobi Still, that's pretty conservative.

When Ben says this stuff, you know it must be a bad case.

	19-10-2003 00:51									#22
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quote: Originally posted by FrustratedPoet quote: her mother went crazy... you know what i'm talking about when they start stopping strangers You may be suprised to know that this has never happened to 99% of people. Either we're not so scary-looking that a girl's mother freaks out whenever they see us or we don't date people with such abusrdly conservative views that being seen holding hands in public is a scandalous event. Do you live in Afghanistan or something?

I had to hide in a closet once. Is that conservative enough?

	19-10-2003 02:00									#23
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Be patient. Be mannered. Make sure your girl never cries or never feels visibly bad. If your girl has visible problems, you can be sure the mother will blame you, no matter how unrelated the problem is.

If your girl is visibly happy, gets better grades, and basically does better everything her mother expects from her, you'll be tagged as a "good influence". Manners, politeness and patience help to that.

A friend of mine's mother is really, really protective. We nearly clashed at some point, but my image suddenly got better when I helped her with computers, and when I offered them flowers to thank her for the welcome. Small attentions like that can really turn the tide, if the mother has come to admit the idea of meeting you.

	19-10-2003 02:09									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Albert Speer no. I live in Philadelphia... My girl was quite worried that us sitting next to each other on a bench would make her mother angry so she got up and stayed some feet away from me. as for that ****, Pekka... i dont know. it seems like too much. maybe chaperoned dates will work (an 18 and a 17 year old being chaperoned by a grandmother...) as that was what her mother said she would approve of. thanks

Holy ****...chaperoned dates.

	19-10-2003 02:11									#25
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now, people, I don't think that what he needs is us laughing but us trying to help him.

	19-10-2003 02:23									#26
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You are dating the girl not the mother. Ignore the mother, dont go to your gfs place. Get together at yours.
If she`s too dependant on what her mother thinks and cant make her mind up on her own (after some advice from you of course...), really nothing helps -> Next!

	19-10-2003 02:27									#27
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Tell the girl it's either you or the mother. If she hems and haws, ditch her and pick up somebody who's prettier and easier.

	19-10-2003 02:30									#28
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You two suggest taking the other route. I think that if he truly likes this girl, he's going to have to go the hard way.

	19-10-2003 02:34									#29
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He's 18. He doesn't know what the **** he likes and doesn't...

If I was dating a girl and she told me we couldn't go out without a chaperone because her mother objected then I'd tell her to **** off. If she doesn't like me enough to stand up to her mother then why the **** should I put myself through ****?

	19-10-2003 03:11									#30
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If I caught my daughter running around in malls with a guy that uses a nazi warcriminal's name as a handle I would beat the **** out of her. And out of him too...