19-10-2003 03:19									#31
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Year, beat those damn violents up! That will teach them! Great thinking there....

	19-10-2003 04:02									#32
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ASpeer: you can't go wrong if you're rich. Make a ton of money, then her mom can't say sh1t. Or steal it. Or something.

	19-10-2003 04:10									#33
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sometimes, no matter what you do, it won't work. this is coming from experience: me from a korean family, her from a caucasian american family.

the problem wasn't on her side. her family loved me, and invited me to many of their family gatherings. on my end, my mother liked her as a person, except the very idea of my dating someone before i was out of college, established in a career, and pulling down big checks was wrong and stupid, destined only for failure.

no matter how many meetings i arranged for them to get together, mom's opinion never changed: she didn't like our relationship, because i shouldn't be in a relationship at my age.

in the end, our one breakup was over this very issue. i could tell she was tired of trying to fight just to see me, i was mired in a depression, and so we took a breather for a month. i would be lying if i didn't say mom was somewhat pleased that we'd broken up. my then-ex and i talked about it for a while, and decided that she wasn't completely the reason we'd broken up; but we did agree that our relationship was not based on common opposition, rebellion, or anything like that, but rather trust and friendship (she'd been my best friend since 8th, a good friend since 5th grade.).

so, now we're back together... and now mom's also accepted it, finally. so i guess this is to say that sometimes even if the parents try to keep things apart, things will work out. you might have to just kinda deal, try to be the best you can be, do everything right, and hope that finally they'll just accept it.

although now, i have to work on my grandmother, the matriarch of the family. korean families tend to be dominated by the eldest mother, even if the culture itself is patriarchal. grandmother doesn't like it because--guess why--she's not korean.

but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

	19-10-2003 04:15									#34
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poison the kim chi.

*ducks punch thrown by Q3, gets kicked in the head anyway.

OK, ok, sorry. That was uncalled for.

	19-10-2003 04:24									#35
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i can't do that... then the ancestors will kill my catholic god and punish me for the rest of my life.

	19-10-2003 04:27									#36
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Nah, if you explain it the right way in confession, you'll probably get like 50 hail marys, and you can get through that in 20 minutes (or less if you cheat). Besides, your ancestors were probably thinking of doing it themselves anyway.

*ducks again.

	19-10-2003 04:32									#37
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quote: Originally posted by Azazel now, people, I don't think that what he needs is us laughing but us trying to help him.

How long have you been posting here on poly

	19-10-2003 04:34									#38
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More than you.

Hey, what?! I am trying to be nice here!

ah, **** it.

	19-10-2003 04:35									#39
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no, they're not chinese, so they're not that utterly insane. at least, not insane enough to kill the matriarch of the family trying to keep the old ways alive.

	19-10-2003 04:36									#40
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Sometimes your gonna piss someone off by being in a relationship with a certain person. If you let those people dictate who you see then you are destined for a life of pleasing others. It's desirable to be in good with your love's family or friends but it doesnt have to be the be all and end all of the relationship. If it's strong enough, then I say to hell with what others say.

	19-10-2003 04:37									#41
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quote: Originally posted by Azazel More than you. Hey, what?! I am trying to be nice here! ah, **** it.

Says a mere King to his emperor.

	19-10-2003 04:39									#42
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silence, i've been here longer than you both.

	19-10-2003 04:39									#43
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I bow before you, oh mighty one.

[/spam]

	19-10-2003 04:40									#44
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Ok, back to helping Albert with the crazy old woman

	19-10-2003 04:45									#45
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quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed no, they're not chinese, so they're not that utterly insane. at least, not insane enough to kill the matriarch of the family trying to keep the old ways alive.

touche, mon ami

My mom's so Chinese, she's been praying for me to sprout a penis since I was born. She kept insisting to the doctors that they cut the wrong cord, and that she was gonna sue. She wanted to get me a penis donor, but she couldn't convince anyone with a suitable DNA match to donate. Then she wants to know why I don't want to have kids.

	19-10-2003 04:49									#46
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damn, people.

You know, when you hear about the homeless people fighting for money, you feel how bad modern western society is. When you hear your stories, I feel glad.


Seriously.

	19-10-2003 05:19									#47
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asians can be so funny, you know? there are fob asians, azns, and asians lite. oy.

	19-10-2003 05:22									#48
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rather, that should be ai-yaaaaa

	19-10-2003 05:36									#49
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we're all bananas and twinkies in this godforsaken land.

THANK GOD FOR MARGARET CHO!! She says what we all think (but can't say ourselves because our parents would kill us).

	19-10-2003 05:40									#50
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quote: What to do about my girl's overprotective mother?

Tell her your fantasy is to do it with a mother and daughter.

	19-10-2003 05:41									#51
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quote: korean families tend to be dominated by the eldest mother, even if the culture itself is patriarchal. grandmother doesn't like it because--guess why--she's not korean.

This sounds strangely familiar.

AS: if she's that crazy just date the girl behind her back, it can't be that hard to avoid the mom.

	19-10-2003 05:46									#52
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quote: THANK GOD FOR MARGARET CHO!! She says what we all think (but can't say ourselves because our parents would kill us).

	19-10-2003 05:50									#53
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"Why do we have these boOOOooks?"

	19-10-2003 07:07									#54
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quote: Originally posted by Albert Speer i just got to prove to her i'm better than 99% of men.

Well, see, that's your problem. You're not. In fact, I'd say you were one of the more despicable specimins of male, full of self-righteousness, and pride and wrath. I'd never let my daughters date anyone like you.

	19-10-2003 07:12									#55
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara Well, see, that's your problem. You're not. In fact, I'd say you were one of the more despicable specimins of male, full of self-righteousness, and pride and wrath. I'd never let my daughters date anyone like you.

Tell us what you really think

	19-10-2003 07:13									#56
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I think you're too harsh Che.
Speer sure is self righteous, but I don't expect him to turn violent on his girlfriend. I personally think he'll love his pricinples more than individuals, sure, but I don't imagine him using violence or blatant authoritarianism over his gf.

	19-10-2003 07:22									#57
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dude, che... that was a bit harsh. sure, that remark was a bit prideful, but seriously? he's not one of the worse 'men' out there. at least he has 'principles', however excessively strict they might be.

	19-10-2003 08:36									#58
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quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed no, they're not chinese, so they're not that utterly insane.

Oh yeah? My ancestors are bigger than yours, and there are more of them.

	19-10-2003 08:38									#59
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quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed no matter how many meetings i arranged for them to get together, mom's opinion never changed: she didn't like our relationship, because i shouldn't be in a relationship at my age.

That could be your problem, not your mom's.

I mean, will you soon pull in fat paychecks?

	19-10-2003 08:52									#60
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well, let's see... most of our dates didn't require much money, because we both liked walking through public museums; we frequented a public forest and walked aroudn in it. and we didn't mind spending time and just watching the telly.

it got to the point where she would try to stop us from hanging out in the same neutral setting when she could.if a mutual friend had a gathering that she was to go to, she'd prohibit me from going.

now that i'm only a guest under her roof now, having moved out and gone to college, she's given me a lot more freedom.