29-11-2003 04:00									#361
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once it's redefined that 0 + 1 = 0, all basic notions of causality and existence go out the window.

	29-11-2003 04:06									#362
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congratulations. now there are only two directions. having been forced into a 2-d world that moves only along grids similar to the cartesian plane, your brain rebels and folds in upon itself.

i wish that everybody would realize that happiness is a healthy dose of pharmaceuticals.

	29-11-2003 04:06									#363
	Suffering from ads?

Actually the only mathematical solution for a direction perpendicular to itself is a point which thus has no direction...

Everybody realises that happiness is now a dose of pharmaceuticals. Quickly running out of drugs, the world becomes a joyless place
(And I'm the only folk I know that's okay with such a world...)

I wish that every idea were synonymous to both its antethesis and its synthesis.

	29-11-2003 05:49									#364
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

Poof!

Hegel falls under the spell of a lovely lady and decides to become a painter. He never writes about his dialectic, and the terms 'antithesis, thesis and synthesis lose their meaning.

I wish for the Democrats to elect Kucinich as the compromise candidate, thus resulting in the complete destruction of the democratic part in the US.

	29-11-2003 05:59									#365
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

poof! that's done. however, in the vacuum that is created, reverend moon takes over the republican party and destroys that party in the us.

i wish that i was the kwisatz haderach.

	29-11-2003 06:16									#366
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Granted: You are Kwisatz Haderach, but you find out the sand worm aliens that you wrote about aren't science fiction and they are pissed at you for getting their history wrong. They eat you.

I wish that I could think of a good tagline.

	29-11-2003 07:11									#367
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Granted. Your tagline happens to be "Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!" You die upon reading it.

I wish the subjunctive would stay in use.

	29-11-2003 07:39									#368
	Remove this text

Granted. Truth be told, the subjunctive is the only allowed method of communication. Suffice it to say, many english students beat you to death.

I wish I knew what "Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!" meant

	29-11-2003 07:53									#369
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Granted. It turns out to be the Worlds Funnies Joke (a la Monty Python) and you die of laughter.

I wish I was a mod.

	29-11-2003 07:57									#370
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Granted. You get fired after one day.

I wish people would join the Apolyton Pub Quiz Championships

	29-11-2003 07:58									#371
	Inflate your Upload Space

You are Unfortunately you take up too much space and your deleted shortly after.

I wish I was married to reverend moon

	29-11-2003 08:00									#372
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

Granted. But your relationship is a mess because you are always handing out flowers at airports. You get divorced, descend into deep sadness, and commit suicide.

I wish i could send everyone on the earth to the moon.

	29-11-2003 08:05									#373
	Put an end to popups!

You can and you do. However unfortunately you also send yourself and humanity dies a painful death.

I wish all the farm animals would vote for Kuchinichichihchihcih.

	29-11-2003 08:08									#374
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Granted! They start with you.

I wish that today were tomorrow, and that tomorrow would be yesterday.

	29-11-2003 08:09									#375
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Granted. You repeat yesterday, today, and tomorrow endlessly.

I wish that this was not a crosspost

EDIT: nice, it isn't

	29-11-2003 08:11									#376
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Suddenly you begin to shoot back in time. Suddenly you see your city starting to shrink and people suddenly moving away. Entire buidings are disappearing.....You see the trees shrink, and the grass getting shorter. Water begins to rise quite high and you begin to drown. Suddenly there is a large explosion and.....
[Religiouswacko]You see God creating the earth!!!
[Rationalperson]there is nothingness!
[/troll]

I wish the world would become Communist.

	29-11-2003 08:24									#377
	Inflate your Upload Space

The Revolution is a success, Comrade Comrade. Oh, but darn, a splinter sect within your communist party thinks that you haven't stayed true to the ideals of the revolution and you are overthrown in a counter-revolution...off to Siberia with you.

I wish I was drinking a glass of Cranberry juice right now.

	29-11-2003 08:37									#378
	Increase the size of your Attachments

But, dammit, cranberries gives you the runs, which makes for a very embarrassing Thanksgiving dinner:

"Could you please pass the..."

from bathroom, LOUDLY P-p-p-p-p-th!

"Come to think of it, brown gravy doesn't sound all that appealing right now. I'll eat the potatos plain."

	29-11-2003 08:40									#379
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

I wish I could find the source of MtG's quote generator, you know, the one that makes him an expert on everything from railroad timetables during the Civil War to radio astronomy.

	29-11-2003 08:47									#380
	Get a bigger avatar today!

You do and you get locked in the cooler.

I wish people wouldn't crosspost when I want them to grant my wish on people joining the Apolyton Pub Quiz Championships

	29-11-2003 08:52									#381
	Put an end to popups!

They don't crosspost, but they still don't join the Apolyton Pub Quiz Championships.

I wish I was Santa Claus.

	29-11-2003 09:50									#382
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

You are. Now you are old and fat and has to work all year long to make toys for kids. Drat, where's the twist?

I wish I were 10 cm taller.

	29-11-2003 10:50									#383
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Granted. Only cm means cuddly munchkins, so you will have to balance 10 cuddly munchkins on your head until you collapse and die from exhaustion and the smell of cuddly munchkin feces!

I wish I could have come up with a more creative wish.

	29-11-2003 11:10									#384
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

You do Unfortunately we corrupt it.

I wish the sun would supernova.

	29-11-2003 11:26									#385
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It does, but for some reason, God has chosen you to live for eternity alone in the dark

I wish I had a pencil

	29-11-2003 11:44									#386
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Tragically, it breaks just as you were writing the most brilliant epiphany of your life, causing you to become so angry that you forgot what the hell it was that you were thinking about in the first place.

I wish I could go to sleep.

	29-11-2003 11:54									#387
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

you can get to sleep, but you dream nonstop about bea arthur in the nude.

i wish i could get my hands on a fea's viper.

	29-11-2003 11:56									#388
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Now that's just cruel!

	29-11-2003 14:18									#389
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

quote: Originally posted by self biased you can get to sleep, but you dream nonstop about bea arthur in the nude. i wish i could get my hands on a fea's viper.

[What is a fea's viper?]

You could, but whatever it is, it's dead.

I wish I could sing in two voices at the same time.

	29-11-2003 14:22									#390
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

You can! But unfortunately you don't control those voices. They begin to argue with each other day in and day out, and it eventually drives you to suicide.

I wish I didn't have a headache.