26-04-2002 15:47									#1
	Interfering in Other Peoples' Sex Lives Support Apolyton

I'd usually assume that ht best thing to do about other peoples' sex lives is simply to leave well alone, and let them deal with it, but recently something one of the guys said to me has made me think otherwise. I heard him lamenting over the fact that the next time he'll get to see his girlfriend would be "that time of the month" (although, it was okay for getting head ). I was quite sickened, and felt like shouting at him, "Man, she's only 14!"

But still, it's not really my place to say, is it? Is it..?

	26-04-2002 15:55									#2
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14? Now that is on dangerous territory, especially if he gets done for it.

But as they say, if she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed

	26-04-2002 16:00									#3
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I really like the way you use a bit of information from my post to make a funn-ee on the whole thing. Ingenius..!

	26-04-2002 16:02									#4
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Ingenious? That's me

	26-04-2002 16:22									#5
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Well 14 is young, but not a child anymore. Old enough to make own decissions. So if she wants to have sex with your friend, its non of your, or anyone elses business.

Did I say I strongly believe in personal freedom?

	26-04-2002 16:37									#6
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quote: Well 14 is young, but not a child anymore. Old enough to make own decissions. So if she wants to have sex with your friend, its non of your, or anyone elses business.

I agree it's nobody elses business. But I disagree on the fact that you can make your own decisions on this, or a lot of other, issues at the age of 14. By that age tou are just insecure and unaware. You are very vunlerable to manipulation of any kind. Media, friends, etc. So, at the age of 14, you rather do what you think you ought to do, instead of doing what you really want.

	26-04-2002 16:51									#7
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Since a person 14 years old is still considered a minor, it seems irresponsible to assert such a person is "old enough to make own decissions."

	26-04-2002 16:51									#8
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And if your 21 year-old boyfriend pushes to have sex with you, what 14 year-old girl will say no? Hopefully more than my low expectations assume...

	26-04-2002 17:11									#9
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To say a 14year old is not able to make own decissions is kind of ignorant to reality.
Someone at this age makes his own decissions, and do whatever he wants anyways. You can either give your child a free hand and be part of his live (the teen tells u what is going on and you can give advice or whatever).

Or u try to enforce your rules, and live with the Probability that your child is going to break them and is lying to you.


This believe comes from personal experience:
I did revolt against my parents with the age of 11. With 12 I was free from any rules. My parents told me their opinions etc.
But their ideas how to live, were only suggestions. I discussed with them about it etc.
If they would have tryed to enforce rules I dont accept, they would have gotten no info at all about anything in my life (thats practically the kind of revolt I practiced bevor )


You cant control your child older than 12 and its contraproductive to atempt so.


@ Gibsie
Why should she say no?

	26-04-2002 17:14									#10
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The Dutchies lock antlers

It depends on the individual in my opinion. Many people at 14 are old enough to make such decisions about the direction of their own lives, sometimes the law is a little too arbitrary. But you know what parents and the law are like on the matter. It is a dangerous thing to get involved in, and the penalties are quite severe.

	26-04-2002 17:17									#11
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I dunno Tom, I guess I have some sort of irrational hope that girls will wait a bit longer than 14 year years before they start having sex...

	26-04-2002 17:22									#12
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@Gibsie
And why is that? Some religios believe?

Sex is the best activity there is. No reason to wait, when you feel you are ready. Life is short

	26-04-2002 17:22									#13
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Is the guy 21?

	26-04-2002 17:26									#14
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quote: To say a 14year old is not able to make own decissions is kind of ignorant to reality.

Well, of course a 14 year old is able to make his or her own decisions. However, they don't have the life experience to oversee all the possible outcomes of their choices. Now, you'll never be able to oversee all the possible outcomes of your behavoiur ever, but at 14 you're bound to make a lot of wrong decisions, IMHO.

	26-04-2002 17:34									#15
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Jop, thats why you give advice to your child, and teach it about sex and how to prevent pregnacy and so on.
I dont really see why having sex can be a big wrong decission other than getting pregnant?

I think its healthy to make minor wrong decissions, so you can learn something.
You dont learn much, when not allowed to do anything, and others making the decissions for you.

	26-04-2002 17:38									#16
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14? Well, I don't know the girl, so it IS possible that we're talking an unusually mature young woman here who knows what she wants, but I'd say that's too young to make such a decision for your average 14 year old guy/gal. Insecurity, stupidity, ininformedness, the whole thing. From what I've heard, sex is a pretty intense happening, and it can be dangerous (STD's) so I think a minimum of maturity is in order.

Not that he has to break off the relationship. he can be romantically involved with her, and refrain from sex for a year or two till she's 16. Could be a nice prrof of his love.

	26-04-2002 17:44									#17
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I wish I had a sex life that people could interfere in.

	26-04-2002 17:48									#18
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14???

With a 21 year old?

Sounds like a peice of **** to me. Why doesn't he try dating a WOMAN instead of a GIRL?

What a loser.

	26-04-2002 18:02									#19
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Regardless of whether or not this girl is mature enough to make rational decisions for herself, she is still a minor, and it is still illegal for this guy to make sexual contact with her. He shouldn't be doing it.

A prior comment on this thread said that he should stay romantically involved and wait for her to turn 16 before having sex with her again. That is perhaps one of the better solutions to this problem. Like Rand Al'Tor said, it is a nice proof of commitment to her. No laws exist that prevent romantic relationships with minors, only sexual relationships.

	26-04-2002 18:08									#20
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quote: A prior comment on this thread said that he should stay romantically involved and wait for her to turn 16 before having sex with her again. That is perhaps one of the better solutions to this problem. Like Rand Al'Tor said, it is a nice proof of commitment to her. No laws exist that prevent romantic relationships with minors, only sexual relationships.

Nice thought...but lets be realistic. Listen to the way this shithead talks about this girl. Not as a person. Not as a potential wife, or even a girlfriend. He's talking about her like all she is a peice of ass. And guess what? That is all she is. If she pulled something like that, this type of guy is gone. He'll be at junior high school looking for another girl to take advantage of the next day.

	26-04-2002 18:14									#21
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quote: Originally posted by drake Nice thought...but lets be realistic. Listen to the way this shithead talks about this girl. Not as a person. Not as a potential wife, or even a girlfriend. He's talking about her like all she is a peice of ass. And guess what? That is all she is. If she pulled something like that, this type of guy is gone. He'll be at junior high school looking for another girl to take advantage of the next day.

Suppose you are right there. His maturity level probably sits at the age of 14 as well. Perhaps he takes advantage of these girls because he is too much of a BOY to be dating a woman. You are right. He does need to become a MAN and try to date a women instead.

quote: I heard him lamenting over the fact that the next time he'll get to see his girlfriend would be "that time of the month" (although, it was okay for getting head ).

Oh yeah, what a shithead. If only I didn't forget that point before posting.

	26-04-2002 18:22									#22
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??

I assume noone except Gibsie know the guy and the girl we talking about here.
We know nothing about how they meat or how ripe they are or whatever.

You guys are really fast with negative judgements about ppl. u dont know.

	26-04-2002 18:28									#23
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A 14 year old cannot make important decisions regarding sex. I was 14 once, and I thought I could. I'm 21 now, and I understand why people said I wasn't old enough. There are many people who are 21 who can't make mature decisions.

4 years is not a long time. That 14 year old is 4 years removed from being 10 years old. As unfair as rules might seem when you're young, they are necessary.

	26-04-2002 18:29									#24
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A 21 year old guy going after a 14 year old girl. That's called JAIL TIME HERE! I hope the bastard gets caught and thrown in the general population of a state prison where his new friends will show him what it's like to be taken advantage of.

Oh... by the way, I have a 13 year old daughter who will be turning 14 in a couple of months...

	26-04-2002 18:31									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Tom201 ?? I assume noone except Gibsie know the guy and the girl we talking about here. We know nothing about how they meat or how ripe they are or whatever. You guys are really fast with negative judgements about ppl. u dont know.

True that we don't know. But consider this...

quote: I heard him lamenting over the fact that the next time he'll get to see his girlfriend would be "that time of the month" (although, it was okay for getting head ).

As Gibsie said, that's enough to make you sick. He SHOULD have said "Man, she's only 14!"

I still emphasize on the fact that IT IS STILL ILLEGAL!!! I can't believe that people are condoning this, or going easy on him. It would be nice if he could be romantically involved, wait until 16, etc, etc. but I doubt he could wait that long.

	26-04-2002 18:31									#26
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Gibsie is this guys friend Tom. And you can tell hes pretty disgusted by him (His own friend!).

I've known guys that have gone with girls way too young for them, and I never had respect for them because of it.

Theres not much positive I can say about guys like that, sorry Tom.

	26-04-2002 18:42									#27
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It seems that girl is general seen as a victim of sexual abuse?
How so? When I read it right, she agreed to have sex with him and continues to do so. So where is the problem?

IMO she is more a victim of overprotecting ppl., trying to violate her privacy and personal freedom.

And for laws: They are discussable, not everyone agrees on them. There are always some that need to be changed.

	26-04-2002 18:46									#28
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Nobody's denying that she chooses it. But the problem is that in light of what Gibsie said, she is being used. Isn't that as bad as sexual abuse?

I wonder what her parents think about this.

	26-04-2002 18:47									#29
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Its not sex abuse...its a lowlife peice of crap taking advantage of a girl. A girl, not a woman.

Its a moral question as much as it is a legal one Tom.

	26-04-2002 18:48									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Tom201 It seems that girl is general seen as a victim of sexual abuse?

There is a reason for that... SHE IS A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE!

quote: IMO she is more a victim of overprotecting ppl., trying to violate her privacy and personal freedom.

No... she is a victim of a sexual preditor... who should be thrown in jail for violating the law

quote: And for laws: They are discussable, not everyone agrees on them. There are always some that need to be changed.

Most people do agree on this one for good reason. There is a reason that these laws were enacted in the first place... to keep older men from taking advantage of little girls.
If he loved her so much, he could wait... which we know he won't because all he wants to do is take advantage of her.