14-05-2002 07:58									#211
	Tired of ads?

After playing in his garden for the morning, Saddam went to check the mail. "Oh!" he exclaimed, a new issues of BOMBED, my favorite cutting edge magazine for the modern despot.

"Just let me take off the plastic. Um, maybe tear at it... no how about my teeth? OK, that doesn't work, teeth and tear at the same time. Urgh. How about teeth, tear with hands and claw it with my toenails. Finally, I get BOMBED open. A snow shower of advertisements fall out of it. They gather around my feet like flat little Willard rats threatening to cover my body..."

Oh look, an article about how smart I was in getting nuclear bomb making technology from Germany not Poland as my stupid son Camel thought. What a maroon but then his mother had four humps.

Oh, what's this in the classified ads, "Will self-immolate for money, payable to my family of course." Hmmmm... that gives me idea.

	14-05-2002 08:28									#212
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Note: Everyone should now refer to Europe as Bonschnooglia, and polish territory as the territory of BEER

	14-05-2002 19:27									#213
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

"That's one dead dog." Beria held a hand over his face.

"That dog is possibly our greatest hero." Aronovich stifled a tear. He had a dog growing up, and this was bringing back memories.

"This animal," the head scientist joined the Soviet leaders, "survived in orbit on Sputnik 2 for two days. With a little more fine tuning, we'll figure out a way to make space travel completely safe." The scientist pulled a tarp over the mortal coil of the Space Dog.

"Very good. Expect bonuses all around." Aronovich dismissed himself, Beria in tow.

"Well, I'm pleased with this development. What of the revolution in Zululand?"

"Our forces have almost completed the removal of the backwards old regime. Another month, at most." (Aside: the soldiers arrived via the black sea fleet, not marching overland, of course).

"Good. I don't think we have much of a need for such a large army after that...science needs the funding more."

Beria frowned. "Couldn't we just purge the scientists to get them to work harder? It's only rocket science, not brain surgery."

Aronovich frowned and shook his head.

	14-05-2002 20:48									#214
	Suffering from ads?

Denmark and Iceland are not Danish because they were not on the original map, they were whatever they are now. Soviet troops got to Zululand via their Indian ocean fleet (I assume as a superpower they have a fleet in every ocean). What haven't I updated on the map??? I thought people did not necessarily research specific tech, but slowly aaccumulate it, and that every week everyone advances a 3rd of an era (late indust.->early modern->middle modern->late modern). However, you can adveance earlier by getting tech from your friends that are more advanced.

	14-05-2002 21:10									#215
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

OT: wow cool I'm a king now! Woohoo!

	15-05-2002 00:08									#216
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

quote: I thought people did not necessarily research specific tech, but slowly aaccumulate it, and that every week everyone advances a 3rd of an era

you have an excellent grasp of how this works, thwe era jump is tommorrow.

	15-05-2002 00:15									#217
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Canada has launched it's first sattelite, designed to gather information for a week before falling back to earth, we look to our Russian freinds for help wiuth our space program.

The Canadian Navy has begun patrolling the coast more watchfully since China made it's threats.

	15-05-2002 00:33									#218
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

OK, if there is a war, who decides who wins. Or is it just the person with the larger navy

	15-05-2002 00:46									#219
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

i mean the larger navy, army or airforce, whatever one is applicable

	15-05-2002 01:00									#220
	Increase Your PM Length

Greece has a New set of six nuclear weapons. They send one to china to admit it to


THE AXIS OF EVIL!

1 is used on Toronto, the Capital of Canada
1 is used on Leningrad
1 is used on Tokyo, they're already at war with us due to the Native Alliance w/ the Zulus

1 is used on London, just to spread the joy.

1 is ready to hit the first nation to strike back.

Greece also pulls out of the Carribean, passing it on to the Communist rebels, congrats to Fidel. America: i'm not violating monroe doctrine anymore at least

BWUHAHAHHA!

EVIL!
EVIL!
EVIL!

	15-05-2002 01:27									#221
	Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

Toronto isn't the capitol of canada you idiot

	15-05-2002 01:29									#222
	Muhaha.............evilevil Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

"Well this sure is quite a view isn't it"

"Yes sir it sure is, you can see the entire port from here. Sir if you don't mind me asking, what is in that huge ship that appears to be docking in our harbour?" questionned the deputy comrade

"Oh golly gee, it looks like we have reicieved our nuclear warhead and been officially accepted into


The Axis Of Evil .

Now we will delpoy our missle tommorow night after i get some shuteye. As for now, do you know if there is any Canadiands visiting or living in this country?" questioned Ima Communist


"Uh, yes sir, last check there was about two thousanad here. Why????"

"Im sorry, you didn't say 2000 did you? By tommorow there will be 200." said Mr. Communist in a very disterbing voice


"Which country will they be sent to sire. I pressume Canada."


"Your presumtion is right" declared Ima "the bodies will be sent to Montreal and will arrive there at 6:00 o'clock. Another preasent will arrive in Montreal one hour later .


"Bodies sire?"



"YES

	15-05-2002 01:36									#223
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Toronto= captital of ontario

Ottawa=capital of canada

	15-05-2002 01:36									#224
	Increase Your PM Length

Prime Minister Canuk called an emergency meeting of the Warsaw pact.

"Freinds, Gentlemen, we have come here today to discuss the gravest matter. The future of Greece. As you know the greek terrorist nation has caused the deaths of over 10 Million civillians in most of our nations following their refusla to pay the reparitions demanded fairly by the Bonschnooglian ExEurope Revolutionarry. many of our cities have been destroyed by this scum that China has aligned itself with. How do you feel we shall deal with them?"

	15-05-2002 01:42									#225
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

"Sire, we have finished killing the 1800 canadians that you ordered dead."

"Excellent, you finished early, send the bodies to Montreal" snickered Mr. Communist "deploy our Nuke to Ottawa, i want people to be left to see the bodies. Muhahahaha"

	15-05-2002 01:44									#226
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

OOC: Civman, I invaded Spain and Portugal. )

	15-05-2002 01:51									#227
	Inflate your Upload Space

Canada is enraged, and hurt..... very very hurt.

form the ashes rises a new leader one who beleives in Canada's destiny. John Paul Ontarias. China is Invaded through Korea and the Chinese navy is sunk in harbor. Canada is enraged and the capital is moved to Montreal. The Parliment of Canada having been completely slaughtered in the blast John Paul takes their powers too and leads the Canadians in a great Patriotic war against the agressors.

	15-05-2002 01:55									#228
	Support Apolyton

Footage of the destruction in London reached America shortly after the attacks. President Gephardt, having seen poll results of 93% saying he should take action, abandoning isolationism to a certain extent if necessary. SO here he was right outside the new white house in St. Louis, giving his speech.

"Nuclear aggresssion is to be answered with nuclear aggression. Greece has so far used 9 nuclear weapons on civilian targets--" he had tears in his eyes "--killing 11.5 million innocent human beings. Spies of a nation I will not name lest they be attacked by Greece or China have managed to infiltrate the GReek High Command and locate all nuclear devices and weapons factories. All of these sites as well as all Greek military bases not near large cities currently have newly designed Intercontinental Ballistic Missle flying at them, while 100 conventional bombers are targeting those near cities. Withing ten minutes of this very moment, Greece will lose at least 20% or its military, all of its nukes, and its ability to produce more nukes. I encourage other members of the international community which we are rejoining to punish the so-called 'Axis of Evil' to take similar actions. American troops are currently on their way to liberate Madagascar, to be both a safe haven for fleeing Zulu loyalists and a free, independent nation. It is time to punish those who punish innocent civilians who have done nothing."

	15-05-2002 02:00									#229
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Metaliturtle, the map includes Poland have iberia...In any case, that post is now buried so here's a new map, with a moved canadian capital, independent caribia, and the canadian invasion of china

Attachment: map2.gif
This has been downloaded 22 time(s).

Last edited by civman2000 on 15-05-2002 at 02:11

	15-05-2002 02:02									#230
	Full PM-box? Change here!

To the Tyrant of Greece: Your attacks on Russia, Canada, and Japan put you in a state of war with BEER.

BEER's Missiles (non nuclear) destroy all Nuclear production facilities in Greece, as well as all nuclear storage facilities. A nuclear warhead is dropped on the Greek Uranium Field, causing a chain reaction, breaking the Uranium down into carbon. The Navy of BEER Creates a blocade at the straight of Gibraltar, and combined with the British Closing the Suez Canal, have Halted Trade with the Evil Chinese.(British have control in the Years on this, open to all maritime vessels not at war with Britain)

To China: You don't mess with Warsaw

To ALL non barbaric Nations: Please aid me in my conquest of Greece by refusing to trade with them in any way.

The Army of BEER invades Greece, taking about a third of the Greek area, including the major harbors, Greek Fleet destroyed.

Mack of BEER

	15-05-2002 02:07									#231
	Inflate your Upload Space

REALITY POLICE:
Destroying the uranium source? It's still there, but the greekes have lost access to it (let's say).

And I destroyed the greek nukes first! The fact that you consider yourself able to do so indicates that the spies I used were yours

	15-05-2002 02:17									#232
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Shocking footage is revealed of Russian troops committing atrocities in Zululand. Gephardt condemns them as well, and demands an unconditional withdrawal of Russian troops within 240 hours and an official apology.

	15-05-2002 02:24									#233
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

OOC: Or I could have had spies there already But I'll play along because I want the USA in the warsaw pact.)

	15-05-2002 02:26									#234
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

OOC: Who's pink in south America?)

	15-05-2002 02:29									#235
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

yeah right, the US is still isolationist enough to stay out of any alliances other than temporary coalitions. And the pink is the Free French.

	15-05-2002 02:30									#236
	Got spare money?

where's rotten? I want to see his response to my demands!

	15-05-2002 02:32									#237
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

OOC: And the Uranium would have broken down in real life, I asked my Advanced Placement Chemistry teacher, and he had all sorts of really funky equations to prove it.)

	15-05-2002 02:35									#238
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Hey, I'm taking the IB (similar to AP but more advanced ) chem test on monday and tuesday...I agree that a significant amount may have broken down but ALL of it? And a lot of it would be still buried deep in the mines, its not as if it was all just a big lump!

	15-05-2002 02:39									#239
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Camel Hussein slumped over his desk with his head in his hands. The problem with being a world leader was waiting for my turn.

"Send in my Intelligence Chief."

A round-faced, small man obsequiously entered, keeping his eyes averted from Camel as he shuffled to the chair in front of the desk.

"Pita, Pita Lorrey? Please sit down... I have heard great things about you. I understand the Spice Collective found you wandering in the desert mumbling about a black falcon and some American named Rick?"

"Yes, Master." He flicked his eyes at Camel.

"Um, you don't have to call me master, you know. We are in the early modern ages anyway."

"Yes, Master."

"Ok, whatever. Tell me, Pita, um, do you know how the Soviets managed to mobilize an expeditionary force, bring it down through the Black Sea and then land in central Africa and bring the entire Zululand to submission in less than six months?"

Pita thought for awhile. "well... the Iraqi Intelligence Agency has two possible explanations..." He paused.

"Well, spill it!"

"Um, they really don't make sense unless..."

"Tell me already."

"Well, either we are playing on a very small map which would also explain how the other nations conquer terroritory in one or two turns or... Ivan has very, very, fast ships."

Hmmm... look into the latter as I really don't understand this "small maps" theory. Whoever came up with it, though, why don't you give him his own branch. Perhaps there is a code here that needs to be cracked. Things haven't made sense to me in the past few months. I mean, for awhile I thought I was the Head Mullah and then I found myself in a mental hospital and now they tell me its 1954."

"Um, Master?"

"Yes? Speak-"

"It's really three days before 1954."

"Oh whatever, come back in a week and report."

----

One week later.

"Sir, we have discovered the source of the very fast transport ships - they make them in Australia and Sweden. They can go about 80 knots in a calm sea."

"Awesome...let's get one!"

----
Several weeks later.

Camel yelled from the stern of the Great Whore of Bablyon, "Uday, do that thing where you raise your one foot again."

Uday, streaming along on his newly designed waterskis for 80 knot cruising lifted up one leg and left out a giant BLLLATTT that could be heard even from the shore of the Tigris.

Camel, Pita, Halie and Juda laughed and laughed down the line.

Sudden, Camel went ashen. "Uday! Uday!" He tried to get Uday's attention but Uday was clowning around for the girls on the shore. "Uday! Uday! Watch out for that ---"

SPLLLAAAATTTTT....Sllliiiiiiiidddeee....Splash...

Pita looked at Camel quizically. "Master, I didn't know there were trees in the river."

	15-05-2002 02:41									#240
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

The chain reaction would have gotten it all, especially if the nuke went down the shafts, at any rate, they will have to spend about 9 years cleaning it up (based on the 9 tiles of nukeage civ 3 gives you, 1 tile, 1 year) Also note, that the factories and storage places probably were also torched in nuclear explosions because the bombs of BEER would have set them off.