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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:19
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King Vlad History Guy watches military parade of troops bound for China when a midget runs up to him crying, "Master, Master, I have a message..."
"Ok, Yeah, what is it?" responds the Eastern European King, stroking his long, pitchfork beard, and thinking to himself 'If I paid a stork to continue stroking my beard, would it no longer be 'stroking' but storking?'
"Here ya go!"
"Here's a sausage, keep the change."
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The Response:
Chairman, my Commie comrade:
I'd be delighted to wind up sending you arms for your margaritas...but how's about joining up with us in THE PACT OF ALL PACTS?! Do you feel nuisanced by Tazmanians? Do dolphins give you a scare? The remedy--THE PACT OF ALL PACTS! Yes, folks, and if you join now you each get a hot water bottle with the compliments of King Vlad History Guy. So, how's it sound, my Commie chum? Ready to win, or would you like to sign up with the evil, demented losing side? Think it over!
Signed,
Horrifically yours,
King Vlad History Guy
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Az
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MACEDONIA - It's the name of the sovereign country to the north of Greece
Apr 2000
time: 07:19
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*BREAKING NEWS*
The Southern Federation has apparently made a successful moon landing. The ships were carrying colonists , security personnel , and some sort of classified material. Sources within the Southern Government which asked not to be mentioned by name , claim it to be a multi megaton multiple-time "laser". The same sources claim that this weapon has infact nothing to do with the ongoing war against terror , and it's main purpetrator , Greater Finland , but a serves a greater purpose , that will surely benefit all mankind ,even the Evil Finlandians, and all of their lackeys.
In other news, Lima pact forces have officially landed in Dr. Stiby's islands in the carrebean. Analists expect that chain of islands to be of immence strategic significance, and don't rule out the construction of a space port, to replace the finely equipped , but ill-located , Gagarin Interstellar Port.
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ranskaldan
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Beijing ~ Singapore ~ Toronto ~ All hail to the new Rome
Sep 2001
time: 00:19
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MAP UPDATED
devilmunchkin: I've tentatively named your nation "Paradise Isles", since that's exactly what it is... do you want me to keep it or do you want to change it? (I just find a country called "devilmunchkin" somewhat unsettling.  )
oh yeah, about the map, maybe i can email it to you...?
mercator: errrrr...... your territories will be more than half of that of Greater Finland if you gobble up all of Russia. I've only given you Central Asia so that you can sort out the ownership of Russia with kassiopeia.
okay, and the news of course:
In a totally unexpected move, Kaladar troops crossed the Caucasus and blitzkrieged into Southern Russia, making straight for Helsinki. Apparently, as Mongol hordes beat down onto Korea and Kamchatka, Lima Pact commanders have retreated most of the defenders back to ports in South China to cut down losses. Now these newly-saved troops are striking into the heart of Greater Finland, with vengeance in their minds.
In other news, the New Canadian Space Agency have landed and colonized the Jovian Moon of Callisto.
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* THE LIMA PACT
Dalgetti - The Southern Federation.
.Dom Pedro II - Province of Brazil & Mars
Ranskaldan/KrazyHorse - New Canada & Káladar Confederation
Boris Godunov - Empire of Godunova
.Hobbes - Province of Zululand
Lightening - Duchy of Straylight
* THE HONOLULU PACT
Richelieu - The North Pacific & Central America
Drake Tungsten - The South Pacific
* "THE PACT OF ALL PACTS"
Kassiopeia - Greater Finland, & The Province of Kassland
.Mercator - Province of Greater Mongolia
.Zevico - Province of Uzbekistan & Turkmenistan
.Ade - Province of Adenia
.Aaglo/Kassiopeia - Province of Aagloland
History Guy - Empire of Eastern Europe
Orange - Former Mozambique (conquered by Godunova)
LaRusso - Former Colony of Serbia (conquered by Southern Federation)
Eli - Greater Israel & the Province of Eliland
Guymener - EcoRepublic of Alaska
***mutual protection pact with Godunovan Empire.
Devilmunchkin - Paradise Isles
***"coconut" pact with Greater Finland.
frankychan - People's Republic of New Zealand
***Honolulu Pact membership pending
***Pact of All Pact membership pending
(note: these two pacts are enemies.)
Rand Al'Tor - former Roman Empire (hurriedly partitioned between Eastern Europe & Kaladar)
Dr. Stiby - Senegal; Gambia; Djibouti
Morb - Australia minus Tasmania
Captain Antilles - "Lew" Zealand (overthrown)
Arrian - Britain & Ireland
Blisterz - Newfoundland
Sirotnikov - Palestine Liberation Organisation
Osweld - Savannahland
Adalbertus/Ecthelion - former Greater Germany (overrun by Eastern Europe)
Chowlett - Ceylon
Slowwhand - Jamaica
unclaimed regimes - United States of "America"
Last edited by ranskaldan on 16-05-2002 at 04:07
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Az
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MACEDONIA - It's the name of the sovereign country to the north of Greece
Apr 2000
time: 07:19
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ranskaldan , I think we should sign a new pact , that will widen the commitments , and integration of our two countries, in both on-world , and off world exploration, including the full unification of our space programs, That will be known as the the Phobos Pact.
also, in your map , you haven't recognized my northen pacific possessions. 
quote:
Pygmy mercenaries working for the Empire of Eastern Europe raid a Kaladarian supply port off Helsinki, kidnapping seventy-four soldiers, two old women, and a poodle. Nine men are said to have been killed in the fighting due to the unexpected explosion of a beached whale that had been fed dynamite by the Europeans. Inside the whale's stomach was a giant squid, and inside the squid's stomach was a minor dolphin official with a note pinned to it's coat reading: "The Eastern Europeans had absolutely nothing to do with this! Nope! Sure didn't!"
In other news, an Eastern European/Finnish colony pod landed on Mars, set up a couple of hab domes, and made themselves a colony...and a planet buster plant...
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Vlad, no nukes.
Responding to the barbaric attack by the EEE , David Dalgetti , The President of the Southern Federation, has decided to order Dom Pedro the 2nd, governor of Mars , to launch a motorized assault on the fledgling colony of the murderous EEE on Mars. The attack was said to be under the cover of the Martian night . This furthermore raises the suspicions that some people have had for quite a time that the Southern Federation has learned how to harness Fusion Power.
*THIS JUST IN!*
A huge asteroid is making it's way towards earth. The Southern Federation's Astronomical Service has just issued a a code Red warning , and has warned it's and its allies' earth population to stay at their homes.
Panic is spreading around the globe , with a state of emergency declared around all major cities.
The Southern Federation's officials remain suprizingly calm , despite the grave danger to all civilization . Some cynics have already said that this is due to the fact that chances are that the Asteroid will hit GF territory, but most analists remain confused an bedazzled.
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Az
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MACEDONIA - It's the name of the sovereign country to the north of Greece
Apr 2000
time: 07:19
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why do you leave dm?
a special taskforce of Southern Marines, and a an armored division of the territorial guard, have raided the coast of the caspian sea, and left all harbours ruined. an airborn mission has also destroyed all road and rail links in the mountaineous region of tajikistan , leaving troop transports uneffective. Only minor casualties have been reported on both sides , as the the airborn spec-ops troops have made this an extremely short raid.
Analists expect this mission to halt all Mongolian progress in the ME , especially with Lima pact troops having a big edge now , with the relative immobility of the main mongolian army trapped in Western China. with the forces of Lima Pact members menacing the Governor Zevico with a full invasion, and thus rendering him neutral and unwilling to pass troops through his territory , and The Mongolo-Adenian border being a mountainous hellhole that was rendered totally unpassable with Kaladar airborn engineering destroying all mountain paths .
Officials in the Lima Pact stressed that if the EEE shall be involved, it will suffer a blow not seen since that mars incident.
In other news today:
"Mike Tyson attacked an passer by, Reasoning it :" I was in the mood".
we'll also continue following our story of the month:
"Giant Asteroid that could destroy all humanity - 3 weeks left".
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History Guy
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Reads too many books...
Oct 2001
time: 23:19
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NEWS FLASH!
MARS MADNESS MOOPS MICKEY MOUSE
A small missile exploded in the middle of the attack of the Southern Federation on EEE Mars Base 1, killling most of the attackers. The only EEE loss due to the missile was a small Mickey Mouse plastic figurine. King Vlad History Guy promises that "Mars will be ably protected in the future." New security systems and 200 more marines were shuttled up to Mars today. When asked how the King would respond to the evil, downright stinky attack by the Southern Federations, he simply grinned and said, "Hee hee hee...we will be avenged!"
NEWS FLASH!!
GOLLY BEANS!, CRIES EEE SECRETARY OF STATE
Today, a threatening message was received from President Dalgetti of the Southern Federation. In response, the King moves one corps of infantry to the Mongolian front line. He wishes to state that up to this time, there were no EEE troops in with the Mongolians, but this threat from the Southern Federation, which Vlad whittily refers to as 'The Fouthern Sederation', has only brought upon them their worse fears.
NEWS FLASH!!!
NOT AGAIN!? OH WAIT! LOOK! WE WON!
Five minutes ago, three brigades of Southern Federation troops were surrounded and captured, every single man surrendering. Despite an attack on their captors with raddishes (for some reason), the prisoners are now under control. EEE wishes to hold a peace meeting now with the SF, but they say that if the SF doesn't want peace, that's OK too.
NEWS FLASH!!!!
ASTEROID BLOWN UP!
And, in other news today:
"Herbicidal Maniac on the loose, please guard your ferns..."
"Joe Nickles to be lead singer in Eastern European Skinhead Band"
"The Finals in Midget Wrestling"
"Man makes 94-foot Blood Sausage, Dies Eating it"
"Elephant Steps on Renaissance Paintings"
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Mercator
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Sorekara no Nanimo
Jan 1970
time: 06:19
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A large army may have been trapped in Western China, but considering I have added Kazakhstan and Iran to my territory only a short while ago, there were plenty of troops stationed around there as well, although mostly spread around the country. These troops included Engineers, to update local infrastructure to the Mongol standard. They'll come in handy for reestablishing the routes to the Mongol heartland.
While transport though the Caucasus may have been made very difficult, the Kazakh troops are still able to progress (although slowly) towards the Kaladan front. Maybe this slowing down actually has a positive effect. Our troops won't come in direct contact with the main attack force but will end up behind it, allowing it to cut Kaladan supply lines and retake any newly conquered territory. This will force the Kaladan troops to turn around and face the Mongolian wrath, unless they intend to get their entire army trapped surrounded behind enemy lines.
Meanwhile, the Iranian branch simply forgets about getting up into Russia, but concentrates on conquering the Middle East, taking several vital airbases, providing the airsupport in Russia, in the process.
Moreover, Zevico is unlikely to be neutral, considering it's only a province of Greater Finland, which simply isn't in the position to declare neutrality. And if it would declare itself neutral, that would effectively be seen as treason, and would promptly be annexed.
Finally, my Caspian navy may be modest, but considering it's an inland sea, part of the GF empire for ages, and only shortly a Kaladan coast, these marines can't have had much heavy artillery. Leaving the Caucasus as is, the fleet turns around and pounds the marines to pulp.
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Drake Tungsten
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Knee deep in alien womyn...
Oct 2001
time: 14:19
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Sorry that I've been away for so long, but the real world has put a cramp in my fantasy empire building as of late. I moved off campus for the summer last weekend and then proceeded to have my tonsils and adenoids removed on Monday. I still feel like crap and can't eat solid food, but I figured I should stop in quick and show that Tungstenia is still to be feared...
Thanks to ranskaldan for watching out for my possessions while I was away. You're a good ally and I promise to fight the Finns to the death with you, if need be. I have a horrible internet connection here at my folks house, so I can't download the updated map, but hopefully our plans came to fruition and Kassland is now mine! 
frankychan : Since you were nice enough to not claim parts of Tungstenia while I was away, I wish to award you with a membership in the Honolulu Pact. It is the oldest alliance in this fantasy world and one of the most powerful; we own the Pacific and exert worldwide clout through our alliance with the Lima Pact.
Anyway, I probably won't be around much after today. Like I said, the internet connection here is abysmal and I can't really spend the time on the internet that I would like. With this in mind, I leave all of the foreign policy decisions for Tungstenia in the hands of our trusted allies, Dalgetti and Ranskaldan. My mutant, laser-toting sea bass are at your disposal. Please destroy Eli with them...
Later, guys. Have fun. 
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Eli
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Israel
Jul 2000
time: 07:19
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I allow the ZOG council to decide the future of Eliland and Israel.
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All times are GMT. The time now is 05:19.
Apolyton Time is 00:19. |
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15-05-2002 04:21
... 
I think you may have been fooled by the treacherous Kaladans! The gifts should beariving right about now.
). I would be glad to arrange for any military assistance you might need.
No! 
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