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TCO
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Richmond, VA
Jan 1970
time: 00:19
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quote:
Originally posted by Bugs ****ing Bunny
If you insist- here's a reprint.
"Ikea- Sweden's Revenge.
Step 1.
First you must take a vast expanse of inner-city land, preferably an area already used to provide unique and slightly off-the-wall public entertainment, such as a League football ground, or a dog track. This land must be bought up and then bulldozed flat to be replaced by car-parks, ensuring that another irreplaceable piece of urban leisure is destroyed and thereby contributing to the slow death of the inner cities and the creation of a car-less underclass.
Ideally this area should be situated right next to a major inner-city motorway junction. This will achieve the "double whammy" of ensuring that the site is seen by the maximum possible number of motorists, whilst also helping to achieve gridlock and locking up the local road network.
Now build a huge, vast, ****ing colossal warehouse on the site. Make it big. Make it ugly. Make it really, really ugly. Then, just in case anyone might still feel it still has some infinitesimal trace of aesthetic appeal left, paint it all bright blue.
Step 2.
Fill the warehouse with crap. Make some of the crap dirt-cheap pre-assembled furniture that will stun the cretinous and gullible with it's sheer affordability. This low price is achieved through having these items assembled out of balsa wood and stuck together with bogies by the under-12 inmates of special learning establishments for "God's Special Children with Challenges".
Make other items of crap horrifically tasteless, taste-raping monstrosities with arcane Scandinavian names, like "Cumgjargler". Ideally, paint them all in vile shades of puce or "Rancid pus yellow". The remainder of the warehouse can be filled with flat cardboard boxes containing slabs of chipboard thrown together at random by 2 acid casualties and an anti-social bastard.
Make customer pathways through the warehouse that leave it impossible to make any trip into the store without making a 4-mile round trip through ever single area. Then crowd these pathways with "Care in the Community" patients stupefied with barbiturates and armed with trollies. If at any point the paths miraculously clear, use cattle prods to herd vast throngs of young children, their faces a raging torrent of glutinous strands of snot, across the pathways to bounce excitably on the furniture.
At the checkouts a special ambience is required. Therefore the entire area has been designed in homage to the queue for the soup kitchens in Belsen. Traumatised shoppers can then happily while away hours clinging to their packages of assorted crap, tat, garbage and trash in the gloom, whilst reading the signs declaring "Achtung! Don't lift anything over 50KG, you worthless scum!"
Step 3.
Take your "Cjocksukkr" flat-packed "patinised pine" dresser out of the store. Naturally this involves a four-hour wait in a howling gale for your other half to queue for a parking space in the pick-up area, unless you fancy carrying half a tonne of Sitka Pine a mile or so to where the carparks are so thoughtfully sited on the other side of the warehouse.
Next, attempt to assemble the ****er. Read the instructions promising that the item can be casually thrown together with just a Phillips Screwdriver and a hammer. Decide that the author of the instructions was probably brain-damaged and take the more realistic allocation of a stanley knife, a hacksaw, a large roll of gaffer tape, a torque wrench, a crowbar and several friends.
Put it together. Naturally, several vital screws of arcane design will be missing, so improvise with bent nails. Before starting, save yourself a few hours of heartache by letting the dog eat the instructions. They were only included in the pack to mess with you mind.
Assemble the dresser. The dowellings that are meant to fix it together may need gentle coaxing into their holes- I recommend a 16 lb sledgehammer and some vaseline for this job. Open completion of the task, admire your handiwork for a few moments before dismantling it to put several pieces back the right way up. Of course, at least one piece of wood in a prominently visible place will be split, splintered, or just plain missing. Improvise with putty.
Congratulations on purchasing your IKEA dresser. Now dry your tears, staunch the bleeding and contact a good lawyer." |
It was pretty funny in spots and had some neat images. But as usual you overdo it. Need to learn what Jerry told George about "dosing" the humor. I'd also rethink your use of profanity. If the images themselves are striking, profanity becomes overkill.
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Pekka
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em seu burro dos pais!
Feb 2002
time: 07:19
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We have jews (at least one that i know of) in our gov. There just was pro-israel march, and it got news coverage. No jews beaten here. We have often debates in TV, debaters represented both pals AND israelis. Though almost all of them finnish, but former pals and jews. Military experts doesn't condemn israel action. We see everyday pictures of those terrorist action (lately in tel aviv), and they're always represented as terrorist actions against israel from terrorist group x, which has been linked to arafat. Many people think occupation is not the answer, yes, but does that make them anti-semite? We have lots of jews in our community and in visible places too, they haven't condemned us for our 'anti-semite' atmosphere, because there is no such thing.
Of course few rotten apples, but that's the case with every country. We have weak left alliance and right wing hardly exists.
Yes, our former president mr. ahtisaari was the head of that UN inspector team that was denied access. Does that make us anti-semite?
And most of all, we gave points to israel damn it!  And we got no points from them (which not a miracle, mostly justice).
Want to have history? During ww2 we were in alliance with gemany. Yes, indeed we were. But that was because we fought SU. Hitler ordered that we have to give our jews to them. I think mannerheim who was ordered to do that said 'no way', and Hitler left the subject ever since. Our jews fought with us. Does that make us anti-semite?
Yet you call us anti-semite.
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Ned
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of Aptos, CA
Oct 1999
time: 21:19
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quote:
Originally posted by Pekka
We have jews (at least one that i know of) in our gov. There just was pro-israel march, and it got news coverage. No jews beaten here. We have often debates in TV, debaters represented both pals AND israelis. Though almost all of them finnish, but former pals and jews. Military experts doesn't condemn israel action. We see everyday pictures of those terrorist action (lately in tel aviv), and they're always represented as terrorist actions against israel from terrorist group x, which has been linked to arafat. Many people think occupation is not the answer, yes, but does that make them anti-semite? We have lots of jews in our community and in visible places too, they haven't condemned us for our 'anti-semite' atmosphere, because there is no such thing.
Of course few rotten apples, but that's the case with every country. We have weak left alliance and right wing hardly exists.
Yes, our former president mr. ahtisaari was the head of that UN inspector team that was denied access. Does that make us anti-semite?
And most of all, we gave points to israel damn it! And we got no points from them (which not a miracle, mostly justice).
Want to have history? During ww2 we were in alliance with gemany. Yes, indeed we were. But that was because we fought SU. Hitler ordered that we have to give our jews to them. I think mannerheim who was ordered to do that said 'no way', and Hitler left the subject ever since. Our jews fought with us. Does that make us anti-semite?
Yet you call us anti-semite. |
Pekka, I for one would not label you an anti-Semite. You look at the facts, weigh the evidence make conclusions that seem to follow logically from that evidence.
I don't share this same opinion, however, with any poster who starts with the premise that Zionism is racism or its equivalent that Israel should never have existed. The end result of this thinking is the destruction of Israel, not the liberation of the Palestinians. There is a difference.
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moomin
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Moo Like In Moomin
Jul 2000
time: 05:19
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quote:
Originally posted by Bugs ****ing Bunny
1- Why do you think using the word "triumvirate" is evidence of Christian fundamentalism?
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It's simple really. While engaging in casual Israel-bashing, the cultural context you unwittingly adapt in what I'm sure is an perfectly hosnestly felt rationalization of an anti-semitic stance, derived ultimately from strong and age-long X-ian hatred towards Jews. Being of your particular political bent, you cannot, of course, dress your rationalizations in openly religeous terms, but you can adapt whatever term happens to closely match your mental image with the need to remain fairly within the rational worldview you must strive to uphold, lest you face your real emotional bagage.
quote:
2- Where is the evidence of my latent anti-semitism? Use the "find posts by..." button if you're new. Or struggling.
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While I thank you for your concern and congratulate you on your attempts at irony - an art, incidentally, in which I'm sure you will eventually develop your nascent talent - I'm afraid there isn't any reason to surf 'Poly for incrimination evidence in your case. For anybody who's reasonably skilled in unearthening the defence mechanism the psyche places around disturbing emotional conflicts your previous rantings in this thread are quite sufficent.
quote:
3- Are you actually capable of backing any of this up? Don't get me wrong- I've seen many smear attempts in my time, but never one quite so surreal.
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Please don't go all defensive now! The hurt you feel is the first sign of recognition - as you learn to identify and address the particular set of rationalizations you've built around your emotional stance on this issue you will eventually be able to overcome this otherwise fairly crippling condition and advance toward a more healthy and mature outlook.
quote:
Come be my plaything, you strange, strange man/woman. |
You know, I quite suspected you harboured fears and doubts concerning your sexual indentity as well - so many people wrestling with neuroses do! - but I wasn't quite sure before you came up with that. You will find your balance eventually, I'm sure, but I would recommend that you approach this problem more directly than your other one or you will eventually develop an unsconcious hatred toward sexual minorites, which is unfair to them and also problematic should you find yourself among them.
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26-05-2002 21:27
Same in Germany. Probably the same in Italy. 
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