21-06-2005 05:18									#151
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quote: Originally posted by boann well i just hate to break it to ya.. but girls cuddle each other.. jezzz..

Don't tease me, I demand to see pics.

	21-06-2005 05:22									#152
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quote: Originally posted by MrFun I always thought of bisexuality as a sexual orientation in the same light as homosexulaity and heterosexuality, in that none of these three can be changed. I admit, I don't understand everything about bisexuality so if someone knows more, and wants to fill me in . . . . .

ive had some experiences with women friends.
but i don't consider myself bisexual because ive
only fallen in love with men. ive never fallen in love
with a woman...

but i don't know if thats how other people define it.

	21-06-2005 05:23									#153
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quote: Originally posted by Pyrodrew Don't tease me, I demand to see pics.

oh brother.. go see "sisterhood of the jeans"

	21-06-2005 05:32									#154
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*coughphilippinescough*

	21-06-2005 05:36									#155
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Next winter

	21-06-2005 05:38									#156
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Maybe...well you can certainly. If I get to be a security guy I'll have to stick around this coming winter, go the following.

	21-06-2005 05:53									#157
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quote: Originally posted by boann "there is a narrow window of opportunity in most cases where you have a chance to be a romantic interest or you slide into the friends zone." do you guys honestly believe this load of crap

It's accurate - I'm a walking proof.

When I was younger I was a complete wuss with women. I took it slow and easy so we could get to know each other and all of that. Then when I'm ready to make a move it's "Aww I was interested before but you never made a move and now I love you too much as a brother."

One or two times, that's fine. Not every friggin' time.

Now that I'm much older and wiser, I've learned that in order to actually have a relationship (not just boinking, but a real boyfriend-girlfriend relationship) I have to be assertive and move quickly before her interest shift to 'brother.'

My problem is I have a face of an altarboy which some girls do like but if I am not assertive they wind up thinking I'm too nice or some garbage like that. If I move fast and give them some taste of my 'darker' side they're hooked

	21-06-2005 05:54									#158
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quote: but girls cuddle each other.. jezzz..

That's just one step below softcore porn .

I think Mrs. Tubs comment that she wouldn't feel that comfortable cuddling with a guy being married to someone else to be very telling. If you can't do something with a friend of the opposite sex when you are dating someone else, then most likely when you are doing it to a friend of the opposite sex while single is leading them on.

	21-06-2005 06:55									#159
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui quote: but girls cuddle each other.. jezzz.. That's just one step below softcore porn . I think Mrs. Tubs comment that she wouldn't feel that comfortable cuddling with a guy being married to someone else to be very telling. If you can't do something with a friend of the opposite sex when you are dating someone else, then most likely when you are doing it to a friend of the opposite sex while single is leading them on.

While you are correct in some sense, isnt it up to the guy or gal to decide if they are willing to do these things. I think as long as she is upfront which she has been so far. There is nothing wrong if space is willing to be ok with what they are doing. If he has a problem then he needs to stop it. I still say there is nothing wrong with two SINGLE adults that are friends and are ok with snuggling. For one neither one of them have anybody to answer to number two its up to either party to draw the boundries. If there are no boundries drawn then its time for a new talk.

	21-06-2005 06:58									#160
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Don't get me wrong here, Mrs. T

I don't think there's anything "wrong" morally with two people making physical contact who don't want to have sex.

My concern is for space, who seems to want more.

If he does, then being put in that situation is emasculating. "I'll **** other guys but just want to hug you". If he wants her, then I don't think it's healthy for him to be snuggling up with her when she's not willing to go further.

	21-06-2005 06:59									#161
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I agree with Imran here

there is human closeness, I think

but it too often, especially in our oversexed society, becomes something else, or has overtones of something else

I think a decent number of those who claim to be bisexual are just mistaking feelings of human closeness (to be noted, I don't beleive in bisexuality, as an inherent sexuality, like I beleive homosexuality and heterosexuality to be, and I have been proven right in my beleifs on every occasion (I told Asher he was gay when he said he was bisexual)

as far as it goes.. it does seem to me to be stranger to engage in activities with members of the same sex, then with the opposite sex (if you are not in love with them) but is likely because of my judeochristian background

JM
(and Boann, I find it strange that many women don't count their encounters with other women as sexual encounters.. do you include them with your total (something like ~8 partners, about half ones you were in love with and half not, if I remember right))

(I am interested just because of not knowing many women your age, and I always like to know more expereinces to correct and modify my view of the universe)

	21-06-2005 07:00									#162
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quote: Originally posted by KrazyHorse Don't get me wrong here, Mrs. T I don't think there's anything "wrong" morally with two people making physical contact who don't want to have sex. My concern is for space, who seems to want more. If he does, then being put in that situation is emasculating. "I'll **** other guys but just want to hug you". If he wants her, then I don't think it's healthy for him to be snuggling up with her when she's not willing to go further.

I agree

it is playing with his mind..

and pulling him out of the field for others.. who might make him happy

JM

	21-06-2005 07:13									#163
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I dont she at that way. Space Knows how she feels. He doesnt have to take himself off the market to be her friend. While he is lookin around he can still enjoy time with this girl even if it isnt going anywhere. If he is truly in love with her then he needs to put his foot down and stop what is happening and tell her point blank that hey i am in love with you and i cant do this anymore.

	21-06-2005 07:17									#164
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Do the Top Gun thing, Space.

It will work....

	21-06-2005 07:17									#165
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quote: If he has a problem then he needs to stop it.

Did you even pause to read the original post?

quote: I still say there is nothing wrong with two SINGLE adults that are friends and are ok with snuggling. For one neither one of them have anybody to answer to number two its up to either party to draw the boundries.

The problem is invariably that the man is thinking something more is happening than the woman is in that situation. The woman usually doesn't set the boundaries and the man feels lead on and eventually gets pissed.

I've seen it enough times.

	21-06-2005 07:19									#166
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I speak from experience. Im not pulling this **** out of my ass. Years ago My best friend was male. I loved spendiing time with him. He knew how i felt though. we laid on the couch together and my bed with nothing more then just simple contact. I loved him as my friend. He knew that, he told me he wanted more and i told him That i didnt. He said that then it was my loss and if he found somebody else that hed be busy with her. I said fine. Long story short he found a gf and we remained friends till he died. I never expected anything from him when he got with his gf. But before that we cuddled held hands and the likes. he was my bestest and closest friend.

	21-06-2005 07:21									#167
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And I dont see how a person can be led on if they are told up front about your feelings.

	21-06-2005 07:21									#168
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My concern is that she has some deep insecurity and that's why she needs to be cuddled by Space. It could be healthy to get her to talk about it, but you often you can't just dive in there because people can get defensive about their vulnerabilities. If he's up to it he could lead off by talking about some of his vulnerabilities. In order to pull this off he'd need to not get overinvested with the idea of her as a potential sexual partner. People often have very specific ideas about what they expect from their "chosen", and when the potential victim, er.... partner, doesn't live up to expectations they can get nasty. She doesn't need that now I think. If the currewnt situation really bothers Space he needs to tell her that and come with some agreement on the parameteers of their relationship. Both of them need to realise that a friendship is a relationship too. If she really really doesn't want to go further than friendship, she may have good reasons, maybe Space has some of her sour lover's characteristics. Getting to know her on the friendship level could be very good for Space. He's young, having this experience could serve him well in the future. It could prepare him for more fruitful relationships down the road.

	21-06-2005 07:22									#169
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quote: Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski And I dont see how a person can be led on if they are told up front about your feelings.

Mixed signals.

	21-06-2005 07:35									#170
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Got one question here is her thats leading him on after she has been up front with him or him leading himself on?

	21-06-2005 07:39									#171
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Either way, he should stop cuddling with her if he wants to slip her his man meat and she doesn't want it.

	21-06-2005 08:07									#172
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Mixed signals.

Mixed signals is teh evil!

	21-06-2005 08:23									#173
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quote: Originally posted by Mrs. Tuberski Got one question here is her thats leading him on after she has been up front with him or him leading himself on?

Frankly I think she doesn't know what she wants. I mean they barely know each other, she wants cuddles and waits for him. But then says she just wants to be friends.

It's utterly baffling. It's super mixed signals.

	21-06-2005 08:27									#174
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(and Boann, I find it strange that many women don't count their encounters with other women as sexual encounters.. do you include them with your total (something like ~8 partners, about half ones you were in love with and half not, if I remember right))

(I am interested just because of not knowing many women your age, and I always like to know more expereinces to correct and modify my view of the universe)

wow you have a good memory..jon
that thread was a long time ago ..
and no i don't include those female encounters in that list. those on the list are only humm how do i put this... can i use the word intercourse...
my female sexual experiences were when i was very young under 13 years old.. more just young girls being curious.

but the cuddling i was talking about between females is more like comforting... hugging.. smoothing someones hair, sitting close together holding hands,
maybe laying on someones lap... its very innocent and nothing sexual about it.

	21-06-2005 08:28									#175
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quote: Originally posted by Urban Ranger Mixed signals is teh evil!

and guys never give off mixed signals

	21-06-2005 08:30									#176
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Strangelove My concern is that she has some deep insecurity and that's why she needs to be cuddled by Space. It could be healthy to get her to talk about it, but you often you can't just dive in there because people can get defensive about their vulnerabilities. If he's up to it he could lead off by talking about some of his vulnerabilities. In order to pull this off he'd need to not get overinvested with the idea of her as a potential sexual partner. People often have very specific ideas about what they expect from their "chosen", and when the potential victim, er.... partner, doesn't live up to expectations they can get nasty. She doesn't need that now I think. If the currewnt situation really bothers Space he needs to tell her that and come with some agreement on the parameteers of their relationship. Both of them need to realise that a friendship is a relationship too. If she really really doesn't want to go further than friendship, she may have good reasons, maybe Space has some of her sour lover's characteristics. Getting to know her on the friendship level could be very good for Space. He's young, having this experience could serve him well in the future. It could prepare him for more fruitful relationships down the road.

very well said...
though DR. i think you're talking over their heads

	21-06-2005 08:31									#177
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Guys are far, far, far more direct. It's amazing that women haven't figured out men yet. Just keep in mind the three basic groups of food, beer, and sex. Sports and games are also big things for guys, but we usually don't care if women don't get involved in that (as long as they don't keep us from them).

	21-06-2005 08:33									#178
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Guys are far, far, far more direct. It's amazing that women haven't figured out men yet. Just keep in mind the three basic groups of food, beer, and sex. Sports and games are also big things for guys, but we usually don't care if women don't get involved in that (as long as they don't keep us from them).

and yet another post reinforcing why i don't need a man.

men just pretend they are direct and don't give off
mixed signals. which is yet another male game
we might spend time talking about.
men will say anything or do anything to get laid.
including saying i love you.. or whatever other
bull that comes to mind that sounds good at the time.

ok.. i rewrite that to say most men..
there are maybe a few exceptions.

	21-06-2005 08:36									#179
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Most women aren't that great of a catch either .

	21-06-2005 08:38									#180
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Most women aren't that great of a catch either .