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Master Zen
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of naughty
Jan 2003
time: 23:19
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The Glory of News
All the News thats unfit to print
SPECIAL NOTICE FROM THE STAFF
To our faithful readers overseas,
The war situation has made publication and distribution of The Glory of News™ outside Warmonger borders to be extremely haxardous and as of this turn, all foreign shipments have ceased. Lego submarines still prowl the oceans and have threatened our ships which carry all the news that's unfit to print™ to all 6 nations and empires.
Because of this, the Glory of News will, for the duration of the conflict, be a subscriber-based service sent by air courier. Subscription is free and only a post mentioning that you would like to receive The Glory of News to your electronic mail is needed (if your nation has not yet discovered Electronics you are screwed).
On behalf of The Glory of News™, we hope that our quality, truthful and unbiased news reporting will continue to find eager readers around the globe.
- The Staff
Subscriber List
- Theseus
- Modo44
- Krill
- Cort Haus
Last edited by Master Zen on 19-12-2004 at 18:37
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Master Zen
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of naughty
Jan 2003
time: 23:19
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The Glory of News
All the News thats unfit to print
1290 AD
-----------------------------
BREAKING NEWS
GoW Names Viceroy for Lego Occupation
"Resistance is Futile" says Viceroy Queen Borg
THE HIVE - Yesterday, The Glory of War named Queen Borg of Skulgaria the new Viceroy of Imperial Territories, Cities and Holdings (VITCH) a new cabinet post which will take charge of the occupation, integration and assimilation of former Legoland territory. In the wake of a number of minor terrorist attacks and acts of resistance by what is believed to be a small but growing revolutionary movement, the new VITCH will organize the Empire's efforts in cracking down the "puny rebels". At her side as mayor of the colonial capital The Hive is Imperial Comptroller Sheng-Ji Yang. The Glory of News was able to obtain a short interview with the Queen as she was supervising the integration of nanoprobe vaccines into Lego subjects.
"How does it feel to be the new VITCH in town?"
"Resistance is futile"
"Do you think the resistance stands a chance against a VITCH like you?"
"They will be assimilated"
"I see you're a VITCH with attitude, what will be of the Legoland citizenry?"
"Their culture will adapt to service us"
"What do you have to say about the accusations of being a brutal VITCH?"
"If they attempt to intervene, we will destroy them."
Through the streets of the new occupied cities the citizenry walk in fear of the military government which has been installed. No foreigners or news agencies are permitted and all information gathered for this report has been obtained by special government permission. Many people have taken the risk of fleeing to the Stormian side of the continent before more GoW colonies are established. Rumors speak of Orwellian state control conducted via giant screens projecting the sacred visage of the Emperor, GoW stormtroopers patrolling the streets, on-the-spot arrests and disappearances. In short, not much different than what happens back home.
Official portrait of Queen Borg of Skulgaria
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Naval Battle off Jackson
"You Sunk My Battleship" exclaims ZargonX
PORT SACRIFICE - The only major naval engagement of the war in the East came to a conclusion after the loss of 2 Lego battleships and 2 destroyers which performed a suicide sortie which left 4 GoW warships sunk in their wake. It all began at night on 1280AD when Lego's fleet sneaked out of Jackson under the guns of GoW artillery which had pummelled the city the day before. Knowing the odds of surviving against the massive carrier fleets which prowled the ocean were close to nil, the ships attempted to cause as much damage as possible before being sent to the bottom. They succeeded.
GoN has obtained recently declassified logs of the naval battle on both sides.
ZargonX: "B-6"
UnOrthOdOx: "Miss"
UnOrthOdOx: "D-9"
ZargonX: "Hit"
ZargonX: "E-2"
UnOrthOdOx: "Hit"
UnOrthOdOx: "D-8"
ZargonX: "Hit"
ZargonX: "You sunk my battleship!"
Four GoW destroyers were sunk, one of which had been damaged from a previous engagement. All lego ships were sunk from carrier bombings and destroyer torpedo strikes. A further Lego destroyer was sunk the following turn. No carriers were damaged since they were carefully hidden in the "F" column instead of the "E" column as Lego had thought.
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GoW and GS Historians Square Off!
Issue over the bloodiest battle in history rages
HURRICANE - From the outside, the ancient library of Hurricane appears calm and serene, the perfect place for academia to flourish in the empire which considers itself the most culturally advanced in the world. But inside rages a debate which has taken the academic world by storm as historians on both sides of the pond argue over which was the bloodiest battle in history: the Battle of Stanwix or the Battle of Abilene.
It all began with a comment by President DeepO stating that the Battle of Abilene, fought entirely by Stormian and Legoland forces, should now be considered the bloodiest in history. Previously it was held that Stanwix, fought mainly between Warmonger and Legoland forces, had produced the highest losses. With the war still fresh in everyone's mind, a complete tally of losses has only recently been estimated and the results are the crux of the dilema. We consulted an independet historian, the aptly named Don History Guy of Roleplay, to explain to our readers the full account of the casualties in these two monumental battles.
"There were a total of 83 formations which were wiped out at Abeline, the bulk of these being Stormian marines, moreso they were all killed within the space of one assault. The Battle of Stanwix, however, was slightly more complex since it involved three distinct operations, namely the initial Legoland assault, the Stormian flank attack and finally, the decicive Warmonger counterattack which led to the capturing of the fort. All in all a total of 110 formations were destroyed in these three operations. Nevertheless, the largest single tally in one operation was 50 formations destroyed in the initial Lego attack. In conclusion there is validity in both claims. The Battle of Abilene was undoubtedly the bloodiest single operation in history, but when taken as a whole, the assault on Fort Stanwix stands as the deadliest battle ever"
But alas, independent historians were not invited for the Special Historian's Congress being held at the Library of Hurricane, aptly named this year "I Count Dead People". And in what is perhaps a taste of the next couple days of sessions, a pie fight erupted this afternoon between some rather nerdy folks during the working lunch.
The Glory of Casinos and Prostitution presents
Betting odds January 1290 AD
Where is the Lego Army hiding?
1) Right behind you - 2/1
2) The Ice Planet of Hoth - 4/1
3) Shangri-La - 5/1
4) Preparing to invade GoW - 6/1
5) Preparing to invade Lux - 7/1
Who will win the Super Bowl?
1) Luxian 49ers - 3/1
2) Dreadnaughtica Raiders - 4/1
3) Voxian Redskins - 6/1
4) Monsoon Bucanneers - 13/2
5) Santa Barbara Dolphins - 7/1
What did Emperor MZ have for breakfast today?
1) Babies - 1/1
2) Vodka - 1/1
3) Guacamole - 1/1
4) Mutual-Protection Pacts - 1/1
5) Humble Pie - 100000000/1
Trivia of the Day - Did you know that the Luxian 49ers are named after their final score in the PTWDG?
EDIT: Gramatical Errata
Last edited by Master Zen on 21-01-2005 at 06:37
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DeepO
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supporting Candle'Bre
Jan 2002
time: 06:19
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quote:
Originally posted by vondrack
Flawed game mechanics? Fatal oversight that caused the end to come faster than we managed to file any claims? Or both?  |
Certainly, I agree on the mechanics. RRs should not be able to transport troops (tanks and settlers) indefinately. But as mentioned before, it's a double-edged sword, as you shouldn't be able to move infantry at will either, hence the whole strategy we both used was a result of game mechanics, and not realistic or even 'right'.
I won't agree on the settler blitz being the flawed game mechanic that in the end did it for you. I can imagine you didn't like it, but still the point remained that it was perfectly possible for us to receive Mil Trad and SP from GoW, build 8 cavs, and chain them over to Legoland. Which meant we could have done the exact same damage without using one settler.
Well... in principle that is. I'm not sure you know this, as you didn't indicated it in the first posts on this subject, but there is a reason why only 8 artillery attacked your BBs. These were never hidden in our transports off your coast. They were freshly chained. We kept a working chain throughout the war, and were always very surprised to start the game with a working chain again. If there was an oversight on Lego's side, it was this: you kept our chain untouched, while you perfectly well knew we were going to use it, and even voted in favour of chains when the rule was under discussion. I would be very interested to know if you knew of our chain, as we did leave enough hints (e.g. the 8 stranded marines, which we had to land to make room for MIs)
As for the rest, personally I feel the reason why the blow was so fatal was that you maybe were a bit too confident. You played superbly, and the Stanwix manoeuvre will remain for me the strategic highlight of this game. However, watching it from our side you were gambling a lot on covering all possibilities... One of the reasons why we lost the Bobian war was that we missed one possibility we should have seen (not having blocked one single tile), as a result we are now more cautious, even when taking risks.
If we were in Lego's situation at the beginning of the war, I'm sure we would have drafted at least 2 infs for each city, and left them fortified. Then, use the already built vets to try to block everything. You simply can't foresee everything, so at the expense of a bit unhappiness, each city would have got a small, token defense force. We would never have reached Stanwix with our small detachment of tanks if there would have been 2 conscripts in each city we encountered. We could have damaged you badly, taking out 4 or 5 cities, but we couldn't have killed you.
DeepO
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14-12-2004 19:23
)
*grumble*
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